Posts by Caaaptaaaain kick arse

City hidden beneath England's Stonehenge had HUMAN ABATTOIR. And a pub

Re: Forget the 'WHEEL'...

>>paid workers in beer<<

Where the phrase "drinking your wages away" came from

iPhone 6: Advanced features? Pah! Nexus 4 had most of them in 2012

OnePlusOne

For the win

You are here => Earth is in 'the suburbs' of an immense heaven

Re: Giant Sugarlumps!

Blimey, the horses must be happy.

Who on Earth would buy a digi-watch? Answer: NUDISTS - in their millions

Have you got the time on yer cock?

tee hee

Apple's Watch is basically electric perfume

Shirley...

the money is in payments now.

Smart meters in UK homes will only save folks a lousy £26 a year

It'll save money ...

For the supply companies, when they lay off the meter readers who come round from time to time.

SHIP OF FAIL: How do we right capsized institutions we thought would NEVER go under?

Doesn't matter who you vote for, the government always gets in.

Amazon axes hated Fire Phone price: 99 pennies but a niche? Ain't none

99c

Overpriced if you ask me ...

Limits to Growth is a pile of steaming doggy-doo based on total cobblers

Bring on Utopia

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/utopia

Chumps stump up $1 MEELLLION for watch that doesn't exist

My project...

Full sized moon on a stick, £1/$1.60/€1.25 for every backer....

Boffins attempt to prove the universe is just a hologram

Da ding - end of level 1

Insert coin

Ad regulator pulls down Branson-backed magic undies

Totally Pants!!!

Surprised it's not been said already

REG MAN penetrates GOOGLE'S LAIR

Everlasting Nexus 5?

BBC goes offline in MASSIVE COCKUP: Stephen Fry partly muzzled

Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set and Go Out and Do Something Less Boring Instead?

I'll get my coat

US freemium mobile network eyes up Europe

Better funded than Ovivio

but still 0 is a big freetard magnet (myself included)

NASA: ALIENS and NEW EARTHS will be ours inside 20 years

They'll all look much like the Canadian back woods

Like that daft TV prog. Stargate?

'Biggest bird ever': 21-foot ripsaw-beaked flying horror

London bus comparison

not found

F1? No, it's Formula E as electric racing cars hit the track

scalectrix

Thems were the days!!

Royal Navy parks 470 double-decker buses on Queen Elizabeth

might as well use it for a bus park

until the planes arrive in 6+ years time

Is there too much sex and violence on TV?

Too much murder/mystery

an not enough sport.

BBC offers briefest of teasers for the next Doctor Who

quite right

there's usually a lot more effin & jeffin

Cambridge Assessment exams CHAOS: Computing students' work may be BINNED

Ironic though...

Punished for not re-inventing wheels at school.

Re-invent wheels at work and you get punished.

Perhaps a GCSE in "finding it on Google" is needed.

Creepy battery-operated teddy bear sex toy..,sadly, this is for real

Shades of Bo Selecta

Does this bear do interviews too?

Kickstarter unplugs iFind miracle battery-free locator

I bet it was a little bit of card ...

Which said "It's over there", extra £/$10 for the upgrade to "It's over there ->"

What a whopper, LG: Feast your eyes on this 77-inch bendy TV

4k netflix?

Cant wait to see BT/VM buster blood-vessel

27 Data-Slurping Facts BuzzFeed Doesn't Want You To Know!

People actually tell the truth when asked this sh1te?

lawks!

TIME TRAVEL TEST finds black holes needed to make photons flit

Re: So that's how Heisenberg compensators work

I get my spaghetti from Morrisons, much cheaper

Yes. App that lets you say 'Yo' raises 1 MEEELLION DOLLARS

Yo + dough = Yough?

nice little earner by the sound of it.

Samsung peddles tyred Smart Bike concept

Re: @Kevin

Range presumably depends on body weight ?

What a load of old S*!T

I want the bike from the Hair Bear bunch!

Google: Why should we pay tax when we make 'intangibles'?

Re: Gmail is out

Just block the ads. Sorted.

Stephen Fry MADNESS: 'New domain names GENERATE NEW IP NUMBERS'

IPV6 no?

Not infinite but enough for everyone and their network enabled fridges, washing machines..... shoes (one ip for each foot?)

Ukrainian teen created in lab passes Turing Test – famous nutty prof

Coming soon to a customer service experience near you...

Punter: "I have a problem with my account"

Botviser: "tell me about your mother"

'THERE'S BEEN A MURRRDER!' Plod probe Street View 'slaying'

At least it wasn't the...

South Street slasher</jock>

It's Google's no-wheel car. OMG... there aren't any BRAKES

Awsome!!

Soon I'll be able to fire the chauffeur.

Hey, we'll do 4G for £15, says O2 (just mind how you go on the 1GB limit)

I just upgraded to a Ferrari

But I'm only allowed 1 litre of motion lotion a month. What a deal.

ET hunter: We will find SPACE ALIENS in 20 years

Not seeing the big picture.

When we find them, they'll be able to lend us money....

Brits: Wanna know how late your train is? Now you can slurp straight from the source for free

There's also some handy android apps

The one I use creates a widget, which shows me data for my home and work trains, switching depature stations based on current location.

Software 'appointed to board' of venture capital firm

interesting but why a seat on the board

Perhaps they'll also do the same for the office microwave.

Dixons and Carphone Warehouse confirm £3.7bn merger

Dix Whore house?

sorted.

Chap rebuilds BBC Micro in JavaScript

MRM Video nasties

anyone?

Google Maps adds all UK public transport timetables

Re: Britain* (exclusions apply)

Sounds like a new crypto currency -- 'Britcoin'

Thought this has been there for ages

I've always been able to click the bus stop icon in maps, which then gives me the time of the next bus.

LinkedIn killing CardMunch biz-card scanning app

Can see why it wasn't popular

Adding as a linked in contact, well it creates that link.

How many of us have been given cards and threw them away at the earliest opportunity?

ENTIRE UNIVERSE created in supercomputer. Not THIS universe (probably)

Re: We could be in a simulation

just think, they could be saying to each other "yes that is a fair representation of what we see in reality" just before they switch us off.

Reminds me of an old Scifi story where scientists developed a sim universe and the occupants promptly broke out, anyone remember the story?

'Bladdered' Utah couple cuffed in church lawn sex outrage

Re: IT angle?

Plug and pray, innit.

Behold! World's smallest 3D-printer pen Lix artists into shape – literally

I'm gonna wait for

the Star Trek replicator.

BSkyB broadband growth chopped in HALF

Where they going?

Hope it's not Virgin Mediocre

Brit IT workers are so stressed that 'TWO-THIRDS' want to quit

Re: @msknight

Walk a mile in his shoes, then you can complain, esp if they're too tight.

Voice-babble-over-Wi-Fi lands in Europe – take that, mobe masties

upptalk (anndroid app)

Does similar in UK