* Posts by RainForestGuppy

352 publicly visible posts • joined 17 Jul 2007


Equifax's IT leaders 'retire' as company says it knew about the bug that brought it down


Just appoint anybody to CSO

Judging by the quality of sales calls I get, I think they are used to dealing with Senior Security officers not having a security background.

Every day I get multiple "how product x can solve your GDPR issues" bullshit, or worse, the "Artificial Intelligence" secret sauce product that can detect alert you to all you security issues, type calls.

May the excessive force be with you: Chap cuffed after Star Trek v Star Wars row turns bloody


You're all wrong!!

There is only one true 'Space Opera'........

Piiiigggs in Spaaaacccceeee

Internet of snitches: Anyone who can sniff 'Thing' traffic knows what you're doing


If you've got access to ISP data then you don't need smart devices to track user activities.

1.) Did the home owner recently go to a airline online check-in page?

2.) Has the amount of web traffic reduced.

Assumption: home owner is away.

Any type of date and be analysed, pattern matched and assumptions made.

Tesco Bank limits online transactions after fraud hits thousands


A sophisticated and determined attack.....

...is what it'll say in the press removing release to make it look like Tesco are a victim.

I've worked in security in a number of large retailers (including some with a finance/bank arm), most staff including customer service staff, have far too much access to customer data. I've had to handle a couple of cases where customers have had money removed from bank accounts and most of the time its CS staff who capture the data and then sell it on, if you're on minimum wage, selling a couple of hundred customer account details might be worth the risk. However if it only affects a few customer the banks have tended to refund the money, give a little financial compensation and hush the whole thing up.

Now add to the fact that in August Tesco announced they were closing some offices in Edinburgh moving the roles to their Edinburgh HQ building and moving 250 customer support roles from Edinburgh to Glasgow and Newcastle.

So you now have a number large number of staff who may have been told to relocate or be put 'at risk'.

Very likely to be inside job.

Why is the smart home insecure? Because almost nobody cares


Is it anything new?

All security staff have had the battle of "shiny, shiny, new stuff that absolutely must be delivered today" over "boring old, security that is just a cost center".

UK.gov wants to stop teenagers looking at tits online. No, really


..blocking images of tits online!

So how will young boys be able to tell the difference between Great, Grey and Blue??

Flippin' heck, meet the Internet of Things wallpaper


That's cool.

Belgium trolls France with bonkers new commemorative coin


Reverse Side

Shouldn't this be the regimental crest of two crossed dead Frenchmen emblazoned on a mound of dead Frenchmen motif.

NSA eggheads tried to bork Nork nukes with Stuxnet. It failed – report


North Korean Launch codes

Well I succeeded where the NSA failed. I found the NSA launch codes and instructions, and I'm going to post them here:-

1.) Light Blue touch paper

2.) Retire to a safe distance

3.) DO NOT GO BACK to a nuke even if the fuse has gone out.

Land Rover's return: Last orders and leather seats for Defender nerds


Re: The downsides of Landy ownership...

Would that be the BMW or Ford engines???

Creationist: The Flintstones was an accurate portrayal of Dino-human coexistence



So what is his theory for why the Dinosaurs died out??

To bring down a T-Rex with basic weapons would take some doing, so if we did hunt them to death, they must have been damn tasty!!.

BARMY bio-boffins are growing DINOSAUR SNOUTS on CHICKENS


All very well, but.....

.....its still not a shark with a frickin laser on its head.

For its next trick, Microsoft diminishes the iPad with just a driver


Just one problem

Whilst the Surface may on paper be the better solution, the problem is that the mid management that these are aimed at will want an Apple solution because it's perceived to be 'cooler'

Apple Watch RIPPED APART, its GUTS EXPOSED to hungry Vultures


3 - 5 years???

Remember this is aimed at Fanbois. So when the "new and improved" Watch+ comes out in 6 months these will be consigned to the draw with the iphone, iphone3, 4 ,4S, 5, various Ipads, Macbook Air, etc

Troubleshooting feature on Cisco routers is open to data-slurp abuse


If you think that's bad...

In my office there is a machine which can take a copy of any piece of paper put into it. The copy is such good quality you can just take it away and read it just like the original.

Obviously I was obliged to immediately take a fireaxe to said device.

Woeful groans over Game of Thrones' spill on piracy sites



I found all the spoilers for series 5 and 6 neatly printed out and bound in handy paperback size at my local WH Smiths.

ALIENS ARE COMING: Chief NASA boffin in shock warning


And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space,

'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!

Galaxy Song - MP

PoSeidon, brother of Zeus, forks up point of sale terminals


If your going to paraphase from the Cisco diagnosis, at least get it right.

You don't install a keylogger to scan memory. The original report states:-

"The downloaded binary, FindStr, installs a keylogger and scans the memory of the PoS device for number sequences that could be credit card numbers."

It then goes on to describe the uses of the keylogger, to capture passwords, and Findstr to scan the memory to find credit card numbers.

Telly chef Jamie Oliver in embarrassing infection double shocker


Re: Safe Site

"I'm safe because because........"

How many times have I heard that before.

Bad movie: Hackers can raid networks with burnt Blu-Rays


Re: "... avoid playing Blu-Ray discs from untrusted origins ..."

Lenovo for one ;-)

STOP! Pebble Time: New color watch clocks up $5m on Kickstarter



The big advantage of pebble that it is water resistant. My phone isn't.

When skiing or cycling (off-road) or hiking I may have a headphones on and the ability to change tracks without having to fish a smartphone out of my pocket or rucsack is great. Same goes when I get a call or message, because I can see who it is on my pebble I can then decide whether I need to reply or ignore it without having to get my phone wet or muddy.

FOCUS! 7680 x 4320 notebook and fondleslab screens are coming


One born every minute

It's a bit like the £10K ethernet cable the other day.


There are people who will buy them because they can, and then insist that they can see/hear the difference.

Car? Check. Driver? Nope. OK, let's go, says British govt


No interested....

..... unless it has a scanning red light on the front, turbo boost, pursuit mode and cracks witty or sarcastic comebacks.

Don't count on antivirus software alone to keep your data safe


Who's the Audience here?

Whilst the content may acceptable, I'm just wondering why this article appears in a "news site"? It's not exactly earth shattering revelations, it's verbatim Information Security 101.

What next? "turning your PC off at night saves energy"

Also whilst I agree that nothing is 100% secure and it should be difficult for an attacker, you've missed an important point, it must be remain useful to the business.

I can take a laptop, shut it down, put it in a safe and destroy the key. The laptop is now, as near as possible, 100% secure from cyber threats. Unfortunately in the process its now lost all value to the business.

Plane crash blamed on in-flight SELFIES


Another hazard of flying....

...angry birds!!!

Meat puppet security sucks... let machines find your flaws


Smoke and Mirrors

Another Autonomy then.

Think of a concept, puts some fancy buzzwords around it, add in lots of marketing which highlights what it purports to do but, don't explain how. Generate lots of excitement with investment companies and speculators who don't know anything about the market but think that it sounds dynamic and sexy and therefore must be good.

Sell company for Billions.... discover there is no product.

Nice work if you can get it.

Hollywood vs hackers: Vulture cracks Tinseltown keyboard cornballs


Cough Cough!! Independence day

Upload a virus from a MAC to Alien Mothership job done!!

Although when I first saw this it did make perfect sense. Of course Apple computers can interface directory to Aliens, because after having to deal with Appletalk protocols for 5 years, I can only conclude that they weren't written by a human hand.

THREE MILLION Moonpig accounts exposed by flaw


I share the opinions:-

"I've seen some half-arsed security measures in my time but this just takes the biscuit. Whoever architect this system needs to be waterboarded," Price said

Apple v BBC: Fruity firm hits back over Panorama drama


Which Apple store to you work in?

Boffins: We have found a way to unlock the MYSTERIES OF SHEEP from old parchments


Re: Welly boots

If they're legal documents they'll have been handled by lawyers and hence wouldn't be contaminated with Human DNA.

Apple patents NEVERSMASH iPHONE for fumbling fondlers


Re: Why not anit-grav?

If you strap a piece of toast (butter side up) to the back of a cat and throw it out the window, the competing forces will result in the mass coming to rest in equilibrium approximately 8 inches above the ground.

It has been calculated that as few as 329 cats used in this manner could support the average passenger train. HS2 was originally designed to exploit the cat/toast levitation effect and would have been known as the Interkitty express.

Sony Pictures in IT lock-down after alleged hacker hosing


Inside Job.

What benefit would an attacker have freely publishing passwords? These are commercially traded commodities.

This has all the hallmarks of a disgrunted employee, rather than an external attack. It's either somebody who has been disciplined/sacked and wants to cause trouble, or somebody who has got fed up about banging on about poor security/operational procedures and wants to to a 'told' you so.

Samsung Galaxy Note 4: Spawn of Galaxy Alpha and a Note 3 unveiled


Why so late?

I've had my Note 4 for over a month.

Why are they only reviewing it now?

It's a fantastic piece of kit, but I'd take the battery life as suggested in the review with a pinch of salt.

ICANN, ICAN'T, IWON'T: uWHAT? How the internet is actually run


All aboard the gravy train!!!

Seth Rogen bags Woz role in Sorkin's Steve Jobs biopic


Well Done

I couldn't think of anything worse than a film about Steve Jobs.

But a film about Steve Jobs starring Seth Rogen......

Good luck as the Razzies

Ex-Soviet engines fingered after Antares ROCKET launch BLAST


Re: BIIIIG surprise

Blame Canada!!

China set to be buried under mountain of surplus robots, warns biz chap


"Beijing feels that productivity could be easily boosted by building an army of robotic workers, who can work every hour that god sends without demanding holidays, a pay rise or duvet days"

Neither do they demand human rights, democracy, etc etc.

BONFIRE of the MEGA-BUCKS: $200m+ BURNED in SECONDS in Antares launch blast


Come On.....

....how hard can it be? They can't even get a simple space launch done properly, it's not exactly rocket science .... oh wait...

NSA Sentry Eagle placed spies in private companies


Core Secrets?

So that's

The deal the US government did with the Aliens

Who really shot Kennedy

Did the ball cross the line in the 66' World cup final

Why Hollywood keeps making films with Adam Sandler

Heistmeisters crack cost of safecrackers with $150 widget


Takes all the fun out...

If you use this you can't shout.. "YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BLOW THE BLOODY DOORS OFF!!!"

Secret U.S. 'space warplane' set to return from spy mission


The Art of deception

With my left hand I'm waving the "secret" but quite visible X-37B spy/weapon/space plane in your face, with my right hand .........

Gaming gasm UK: Rubbing shoulders with LEGENDS and newbies



We have massively powerful consoles and PC's and all they can come up with is re-hashes of the tired 'run around and slash/shoot things' genre.

Where is the imagination in the games world??

Man's future in space ... Barack Obama: Mars. Narendra Modi: Mars. Vladimir Putin: Er, Moon


Expanded Sub-headline

Man's future in space ... Barack Obama: Mars. Narendra Modi: Mars. Vladimir Putin: Er, Moon. David Cameron: Croydon.

Really annoys me that subsequent UK governments have not invested more in space technologies. Ok we're too small to have our own full space program, but we don't even invest much into ESA, meaning that the French and Germans, develop all the technologies and get the downstream engineering benefits.

Even something a potentially ground breaking as the SABRE engine from REL gets minimal governmental funding, in other countries they'd have $billions thrown at it.

Reg bloke zips through an iPHONE 6 queue from ZERO to 60 SECONDS


Why no Women...

because they appreciate that IT'S JUST a BLOODY PHONE!!!!

It'll still be exactly the same if you buy it tomorrow from a Carphone, O2, EE etc shop.

Especially when they are queuing for days just to by a clone of a 2 year old Galaxy Note II.

iOS 8 Healthkit gets a bug SO Apple KILLS it. That's real healthcare!


Updated Statement from Apple

" After inspecting the Healthkit software, we have deduced that there are no bugs, but the problem lies it a incompatibility of the human physiology with the parameters defined by Apple developers.

If you wish to use the Healthkit Application we suggest that you undergo gene replacement therapy,

Love and Hugs Tim xx"

Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen


Legal argument aside

Surely the person in the right here is the owner of the tank, because a) they have a tank and b) you don't.

If you want to argue I'll give you a 10 meter head start.

Brit telcos warn Scots that voting Yes could lead to hefty bills


Royal Mail??

What's happens with the charter for the Royal mail. They have always had to service all postal address for a fixed cost regardless of distance?

That's always been the big argument about rising costs, whilst delivering mail in cities is cheap and easy, it's the services to the more inaccessible areas that are costly.

Can rapidly see a Scottish Mail service that won't deliver to anywhere outside the major towns and cities, unless the sender pay a massive postal cost.

Apple's big bang: iPhone 6, ANOTHER iPhone 6 Plus and WATCH OUT



A big phone and a watch, didn't they just copy the Samsung launch from last week.

Boffins attempt to prove the universe is just a hologram


Reminds me of ...

“Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful (as the babel fish) could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.

The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist,'" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

"But," says Man, "The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."

"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.”

Securobods warn of wide open backdoor in Netis/Netcore routers


Congratulations you work in IT.

Unfortunately, most real people who buy home routers don't. They just want something that connects their PC/Laptop/tablet to the internet so they can access Facebook, ebay.

Expecting people to upgrade firmware, change passwords, writing scripts is just not acceptable.