* Posts by PNGuinn

1940 publicly visible posts • joined 18 Mar 2014

Uh-oh. LG to use AI to push home appliances to 'another dimension'

PNGuinn
Joke

"The robot remembers obstacles such as electrical wires and slippers..."

.... And shoes, and tools, and books, and cardboard boxes, and various bits of electronics, and the occasional car part, and my gravitational filing system. and and and anything else that has developed a sudden love for gravity without my express permission.

It'll just LOVE working at Zondek Towers.

Hey LG, I'll offer to test one for you - for a fee of course - but only AFTER I've reprogrammed its main memory banks with a large axe .... Doesn’t NEED an internet connection by any chance, does it?

Actually I'm not joking. Seriously, does it clean where the sun don't shine?

Yorkshire council hit with prolonged web outage

PNGuinn
FAIL

Re: and so it begins.....

Paper?

Luxury!

we 'ad 't climb up t' moor, in our pyjamas, after shearing 't sheep in t' dark an' knitting t' pyjamas, through t' snow. bah 't 'at, an' all,an' pluck at t' heather wi' our bare 'ands,

Then we'd ha' t' slither all t' way down t' moor in t' dark t'd outside privvy, shovel t' snow from t' door wi' our bare feet ...

an' i' we forgot t' put lid back on t' hole when we'd done in t' morning our dad ....

What'd ye use t' pen fer?

PNGuinn
Flame

Re: Star Trek Logic

Back in the day, in my misspent youth, in a test gear department of an electronic instruments company, one of the first things I learnt was that the test room had discovered that a one inch bit of potentiometer spindle made an excellent plug fuse replacement.

Apparently, unlike the Real Thing (TM), they never failed ....

US cops seek Amazon Echo data for murder inquiry

PNGuinn
Coat

jave a gag prder

That's probably a serious offence or 3 on it's own - especially with your handle, Mr MyBackDoor.

PNGuinn
Joke

Re: Interesting... @paulverett

"cos if the thing was real smart it would have/could have/should have...called the cops"

Only if you could and did change the "safe word" to ERUGSGHHSSHH...

PNGuinn
FAIL

Re: Interesting... Re wiretapping.

So, the feds haven't tried to claim in court yet that a tapped conversation is a 3 way / conference call, and THEY knew that THEY were listening so it's all ok?

Shame on them.

Barcodes stamped on breast implants and medical equipment

PNGuinn

@ John Brown (no title)

... should only cost £500,000 (at least at the initial spec.)

... should only cost £500,000 (at least FOR the initial spec.)

There - FIFY. Cheap at the price.

PNGuinn
Stop

The sort of idea that leads to the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

Milk that tastes of something not quite like tea ... Share and enjoy ...

NOW I NEED MIND BLEACH.

Christmas Eve ERP migration derailed by silly spreadsheet sort

PNGuinn
Joke

I prefer Armadillos.

Hmmm...

Probably got fairly decent shock protection, but might be a little hard on the pocketses.

How would you butt dial on one of them?

Ouch!

PNGuinn
Mushroom

Re: Win95 @ Mage

Personally, I think you're being far too kind to Slurp.

Even if it it's Christmas.

Fortunately I missed '95. Got landed with Crashmatic 98se.

BLEAURRRGH!

At least it got me to cuddle up to the Penguin. Never looked back.

Feelin' hungry yet, ms??>>

Meet the Internet of big, lethal Things

PNGuinn
Flame

It's a nasty (but legal) way... @tiggity

But IS it legal?

To me it smacks of deliberate protectionism and monopolising to gouge the customer.

I thought the good 'ol US had laws about that kind of corruption?

PNGuinn
Joke

Crop circles?

Crop circles anyone?

Bring it on!

Yours sincerely,

Farmer Giles

Gov claws back £440m for rural broadband

PNGuinn
Facepalm

24 Mb Ultrafast.

Yeah, I caught this on R4, I think it was yesterday morning when I was trying to down my breakfast, I was concentrating on salting my marmalade at the time.

Some daft government oik - I think she may have been minister of something or other - was referring to 24 Mb as SUPERFAST BROADBAND.

Anyone remember what her exact claim to the right to breathe was?

Really gives you hope, doesn't it?

PNGuinn
Boffin

Re: 90% of what?

90 % of MPs who need ultrafast pr0n to so their work properly?

There, FIFY.

Wot, me cynical

PNGuinn
Big Brother

Backing up 1Tb to the cloud?

7. So that the greasy grunnymint (I was trying to type grubbymint, but that sounds even better...) can trawl through all your data, you naaasty little terririst.

Your'e clearly GUILTY - you've got something to hide. Please report immediately to the nearest ....

Amateur radio fans drop the ham-mer on HRD's license key 'blacklist'

PNGuinn
Boffin

What would you rather have?

a. A lively public rant from Linus?

b. Your kernel disabled without warning?

Seriously, is there no open source equivalent? Not my field, but I understand Hams are not quite the same as CB freaks.

Not all of them are seriously techie, but many are, and I'm sure that if one of their number produced something decent and GPL'd it (other licences available) fellow Hams would soon find issues and work with the developers or get about fixing them if the original author(s) for any reason weren't able to.

PNGuinn
Joke

@ac

"i don't have any software i think is cr4p"

I don't have any software I think is C4RP.

there - FIFU my good doctor. RTFA

China gives America its underwater drone back – with a warning

PNGuinn
FAIL

Re: Lying so-and-so's

"The US tells us it's for research"

You are trying to tell me that spying on others is not a form of "research"?

PNGuinn
Headmaster

Re: Erm... Unpresidented

Nah - just a simple froydian slip ....

Nothing to see here - move along please.

Sysadmin 'fixed' PC by hiding it on a bookshelf for a few weeks

PNGuinn
Joke

Re: deja vu: valohoito

Instances of Linus using it or I call bulls*it.

Microsoft quietly emits patch to undo its earlier patch that broke Windows 10 networking

PNGuinn
Trollface

Re: ,So there's an online fix for not being able to get online? @Voyna

"My feeling is that every Windows PC should be supplied with a short, helpful user guide to the shell commands that may be needed, and how to use them, in case of emergency."

My feeling is that every Windows PC should be supplied with a bid reg emergency button labelled "In case of emergency: Press to Install Real Operating System"

There FIFY

PNGuinn
Mushroom

Re: ,So there's an online fix for not being able to get online?

"It's all part of Microsoft's cunning automated Suicide Plan for Windows 10 and the rest of their company."

If Slurp really did intend to commit suicide I'd like to say "Go right ahead, make it messy, make it painful, make it quick, and can I and millions of others watch?"

But I won't. 'Cause I've been running 'Nix since w98. Wouldn't want to obstruct someone else's view.

<< Smug>>

Europe to launch legal action against countries over diesel emissions cheating

PNGuinn
Devil

Re: Why can't the EU...

"Err, no, the point is they didn't meet the standards as laid down by the EU in the first place. They actively changed the output when being measured so as to appear to meet the standard. Cheat. Fraud."

As I see it it seems that the requirement was to meet specific requirements in specific ways on specific testing equipment. Which the cunning bas**rds did. It seems the rules were met. The fact that the regulators were incompetent in defining and policing the "requirements" suggests that THEY should be VERY severely punished for that incompetence. I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader.

VW's crime was to hype up the propaganda that their cars were so clean based on those fiddled results. ie CHEAT their customers.

THEY should be forced to modify the cars to:

(a) Meet the requirements in real conditions.

(b) Give AT LEAST the same performance as before.

(c) Give AT LEAST the same fuel performance as before.

(d) Do so in a manner which does not intrude in any way upon the space available to the owners in their vehicles.

(e) Do so in a manner which does not compromise in any way reliability or access to other components.

(f) Fully cover the cost of all additional service costs, including "consumables" and any increased vehicle downtime FOR THE LIFE OF THE VEHICLE. At whatever garage the owner chooses to use.

(g) Provide a complete and reliable fix for all vehicles within six months of the "cheat" becoming known or pay swinging penalties.

(h) Provide the FULL source code for all software / firmware - both old and new - including all future updates - under an appropriate open source licence.

(i) Provide suitable funds in escrow to ensure the above will be accomplished.

(j) OR - at the owner's option - refund the FULL NEW COST of the faulty vehicle at current replacement prices to buy back the item, with NO obligation upon the owner to purchase another vehicle from their group.

That should put the shi*ts up the whole motor industry.

I gather these can be somewhat bad for the environment >>

PNGuinn
Trollface

Reg units - @Your alien overlord - fear me

Might I respectfully suggest the goebbels as an appropriate name for the new unit?

PNGuinn
Mushroom

Re: Oh, here we go again!

"The EU (as the ECSC) was most specifically created in order to end European wars and their millions of casualties. So that sentence really shows how much education is still needed."

Agreed. Learn your history. In the end it'll never work. The stress cracks are already obvious to anybody.

It's beginning to look like that before too long we will see the breakup of the whole cabal in acrimony and tears.

Which will likely lead to a repeat of history. Again.

Is your Windows 10, 8 PC falling off the 'net? Microsoft doesn't care

PNGuinn
Devil

Re: T0ssers!

2 minor corrections, my learned friend:

1. Shirly windows 10 users are only alpha testers these days?

2. AS LONG AS SLURP ARE FORCED TO EAT THEIR OWN DOG FOOD. SLOWLY. UNCOOKED.

Upvoted.

Hardware Labs sees off Nvidia trademark sueball-smasher in court

PNGuinn
Go

Re: GTX and GTS

"Just like you can open Kebab shop called Microsoft, so long as your logo is significantly different."

There's got to be a connection there somewhere.

Slurp.

Sony kills off secret backdoor in 80 internet-connected CCTV models

PNGuinn
Mushroom

Re: I had hoped for better

"You expect this sort of thing from no-name Chinese camera makers, but a high profile company like Sony?"

In the case of that bunch of 0*(^$()%$^^&(*^*(&*%%$^GIUH&^$%^&^H^&%&^%^&*^HBs, most very definitely yes, and worse.

The sooner they spontaneously ignite the better.

Burn, B*s***ds, BURN.

Local TV presenter shouted 'f*cking hell' to open news bulletin

PNGuinn
Headmaster

Can we drop in a 'cunt-face'?

C*nty Mc C*ntface shirly.

This is an adult forum after all.

PNGuinn
Unhappy

"You tedious trump"

Steady on, Gaz.

I'm reading this at 10.34 in the morning!

Why your gigabit broadband lags like hell – blame Intel's chipset

PNGuinn
Mushroom

"when you have paying beta testers (formerly known as customers)?"

That sorta worked for a time when the beta was of reasonable quality.

That time's long gone - what we appear to have now is paying ALPHA testers - on a good day.

Icelandic Pirate Party asked to form government

PNGuinn
Go

Re: Enquiring minds want to know..

Lamb cutlets renamed lamb cutlass?

....

LeEco Le Pro 3: Low-cost, high-spec Droid takes on the big boys with a big fat batt

PNGuinn
Mushroom

Re: Some points - let's try a car analogy

Not quite fair on the phone makers.

The bastards in that particular cesspit have rapidly gone from a proper spare wheel to a to spare on a cheapo rim to the equivalent of a moped wheel to nothing at all.

They'd make all the wheels optional if they could get away with it.

Plastic fiver: 28 years' work, saves acres of cotton... may have killed less than ONE cow*

PNGuinn
Coat

Australian you say...

So it be roo fat then.

So what's all this guff about half a cow then? New Reg unit?

Has the Vulture's Southern Correspondent been consulted?

Can we have a compo to choose the animal to front new unit?

How about the duck billed platypus? a DBP or dBP if you need a logarith ...

Oh - sod it - DMcDBP - for Ducky Mc ...

NURSE!

Thanks - mine's that nice white one with the slightly odd fastenings. >>

Congrats America, you can now safely slag off who you like online

PNGuinn
Trollface

Re: now if @ bombastic bob

You're welcome. -1

Woman rescues red pepper Donald Trump from vegetarian chilli

PNGuinn
Trollface

I'll trump that ...

To me it looks more like Billary bawling her eyes out having finally realised that O'Bambi was not such a good electoral asset after all ...

YMMV.

Chernobyl cover-up: Giant shield rolled over nuclear reactor remains

PNGuinn
Boffin

Re: "A structure like this is not needed for Fukushima."

""an olypmic swimming pool with an old-style glow in the dark watch dropped in the middle"."

OOOH LOOK::::

A shiny - or is that glowey - new Reg unit!

We need a proper diving mask icon.....>>

systemd free Linux distro Devuan releases second beta

PNGuinn
Happy

Re: A pox on systemd and all things poettering

"I don't really give a flying shit if my server boots in 20 seconds or 45 seconds"

And I don't care if my desktop takes another 25 seconds either.

Upvoted.

Vegans furious as Bank of England admits ‘trace’ of animal fat in £5 notes

PNGuinn
Trollface

@ bombastic bob

"tell them ALL to go pleasure themselves"

Why give 'em the option of pleasure?

PNGuinn
Childcatcher

Re: @Patrician Animal walware

Won't anyone think of the maggots?

Behold, your next billion dollar market: The humble Ethernet cable

PNGuinn
Facepalm

Re: Pigeons @ Fruit and Nutcase

ISIR that when I were a lad in't 60s / 70s someone had the bright idea of sending a dispatch rider from London to paris via the ferry in competition to attempting to put a phone call through to the french capital from London.

The dispatch rider won.

How-to terror manuals still being sold by Apple, Amazon, Waterstones

PNGuinn
Flame

Re: Half assed measures

Terrorist Mayhem?

Airbus flies new plane for the first time

PNGuinn
Flame

Re: First Flight Challenges

"Pah! I laugh in scorn at your aluminium, puny human: real planes are made from plywood! :-

Rubbish!

REAL planes are made of second hand bicycle bits and lots of canvas doped with highly inflammable lacquer.

REAL aero engines have wooden spinny bits on the front and highly exciting operating characteristics.

See icon >>

Pah, Pah.

UK.gov flings £400m at gold standard, ‘full-fibre' b*&%*%£$%. Yep. Broadband

PNGuinn
Coffee/keyboard

"which has the capacity to reach speeds of more than 1Gbps."

Translation: "Up to 1.0000000000000-----00001 Gbps"

So about 2 megs then. In years to come. Only on the other side of the village. On a good day. With a following wind. In the right direction. If you're not too far from something quite far away.

Nothing to see here - move along please.

User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

PNGuinn
Mushroom

Re: Indicators

"Her reply: "What do you mean? It's up for left and down for right""

I feel your pain. For the last 15 years or more I've had cars with the indicator stalk on the wrong side. I STILL occasionally flip the wiper stalk instead of the indicators.

When you've learned to drive and spent most of your motoring career driving with the b*oody thing where it should be ...

And don't get me onto the multitude of ways "designers" can screw up the functions of the wiper stalk ...

Where's that crusty old fart icon?

PNGuinn
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Do you mean the "Electron Flow initialiser" button?

Sorry to be pedantic, but that's the power switch on the wall.

On a modern 'pooter the power supply is still live and sipping power.

What you mean is the "Electron Flow Accelerator"

No wonder your lusers are confused.

PNGuinn
Trollface

Re: Can you hold down the power button

"terms such as "clutch", "accelerator" and "gear"" ...

Good way to confuse the average 'Merkin then.

I gather they don't have proper cars with 3 pedals and a pudding stirrer much over there.

Backward lot.

Never assume anything.

Oh wait ...

PNGuinn
Boffin

@ RIBrsiq - I do this professionally

"Don't knock it! I do this professionally, and it's often just "turning it off and on again"...!!"

Your comment following on from Cp'n Daft's comment ...

"Page one: How To Find Your Arse With Both Hands." ...

1. Does finding your *rse with both hands pay well?

2. What are your prospects for career development?

3. How do you turn your *rse off and on again? Please provide detailed instructions. (Enquiring minds etc.)

4. If the answer to 2 involves being given a brush, is that a prerequisite for 3?

Smart meter benefits even crappier than originally thought

PNGuinn
Childcatcher

"No, as smart meters use Zigbee"

Oh Noes!

Won't anyone think of the lightbulbs?

WTF??

Samsung flings $8bn at buyout of connected car biz Harman

PNGuinn
Flame

Appropriate picture

+1 for the picture.

I gather glass fibre burns quite well in a fire ....