* Posts by MisterHappy

44 posts • joined 14 Mar 2014

Help! My printer won't print no matter how much I shout at it!


Ohhh I have wonderful memories of those.

One of my first jobs was at a place that used those beasts. Roll of paper maneuvered into place by me and a colleague, arms come down and out so that we can line up the roll with the holder, press the load button and watch as the hydraulic arms pick up the roll and lift it into place.

Next steps were to feed the end of the paper through the various rollers, ending with the 45 degree roller in the bottom of the printer (where in other places the box of paper would be).

The fun part was that they also had the folding table at the end of the printer (yet more rollers to navigate), when that went wrong it was a race to stop the printer to avoid a huge pile of prints piling up between the printer & the folding table.

Having said that, the 'cold fuse' variant of that printer was a dangerous bit of kit but that was a later job and I knew enough to avoid it like the plague.

As we stand on the precipice of science fiction into science fact, people say: Hell yeah, I want to augment my eyesight!


Re: The Six Million Dollar Man

Knowing my luck I'd only be able to afford the upgrade for one leg & be able to walk normally or run really fast in tight circles!

Apple takes another swing at Epic, says Unreal Engine could be a 'trojan horse' threatening security


Re: There questions

1. Has anyone thought of the children?

..........Apple has but mostly as a source of future revenue.

2. Should I be wearing a mask?

.......... Probably when you are in an enclosed area that is open to the public.

3. What will this do to house prices in my area?

.......... Depends where you live but unless you are planning on selling anyway it's not important.

The answers to the above will determine how much I actually care.

Only EU can help us, pleads Slack as it slings competition complaint against Microsoft Teams


Re: Not exactly surprising reading...

Yes I meant Safari, thanks.


Re: Not exactly surprising reading...

100% agree with your last point, I have not heard anything about Opera being the only browser that comes pre-installed on an iPhone either.

RetroPie 4.6 brings forth an answer to 'What do I do with this Pi 4 I bought last year?'


Re: Pi 4 mouldering?

And there was me just sticking mine in a sandwich box in the garden to take videos of the Hedgehogs visiting the feeding station. The 2nd one (the 4gb) was being used as a laptop replacement when staying in hotels.

Then again my Pi B+ has been working quite happily as an arcade machine for ages.

Florida man might just stick it to HP for injecting sneaky DRM update into his printers that rejected non-HP ink


Used to buy Lexmark

Back in the day I used to buy Lexmark inkjet printers, cost of printer with a black and a colour cartridge was £19.99. The ink cartridges that came with it were 1/2 filled. Cost of replacement ink cartridges - £55. The guy in the shop asked me why I was buying a new printer every couple of months & was shocked when I explained that it was cheaper to do that than get new ink.

Microsoft's little eyes light up as Oscar-winning Taika Waititi says Apple keyboards make him 'want to go back to PCs'


Re: Show a PC keyboard?

Very tenuously - Last night's University Challenge had a C64 in the picture round, suffice to say that none of the 20 somethings recognised it.

Want to live long and prosper? Avoid pirated, malware-laden Star Wars free vid streams – and pay to watch instead


I have that t-Shirt

It's always fun to see the double take followed by a smile

Oh noes! Half the NHS runs on Windows 7! Thankfully, here's Citrix with a virty vaccine


Re: Just think of the drivers

That's just the hardware, what about the 7 different applications that each have had coded check for a different Java version because someone thought that testing for Java 1.5.1 was the right thing to do!

Not to forget that you will need both 32 & 64 Bit because some things are still coded to only work in IE and that it always 32 bit.

Oh yes... Silverlight too!!!!!111one


A little more information... If anyone cares

NHS Trusts were told not to invest in Windows 10 licenses as there was a deal being done between NHS Digital and Microsoft, as a result of this the migration plans for many Trusts are not as far advanced as they could be.

The Windows 10 licenses were doled out in March but NHS Digital did not buy enough licenses initially so roughly 40% of Trusts did not get a license allocation until October this year, again pushing back the roll out of Windows 10.

As part of the agreement between NHS Digital & Microsoft, all Trusts that have signed up to the license allocation also have an additional year of support and have been issued with a MAK to be applied to any Windows 7 machines that are not expected to be upgraded/replaced by the end of Jan 2020. It's also worth bearing in mind that one of the pre-requisites for getting licenses from NHS Digital was rolling out ATP at each Trust, for Win 7 and Win 10 devices.

For pity's sake, groans Mimecast, teach your workforce not to open obviously dodgy emails


How scalable is this though?

Just from curiosity, how many 1000's of people do you administer in this manner? I can see it being workable for a small company but when the employee count is in the several thousands wouldn't it become an administrative overhead.

Add to that that a lot of companies (if not most) have a YouTube, Facebook & Twitter presence it becomes a lot harder to restrict access when the propaganda dept keeps sending out encouragement to "Check our social media sites".

We send out our own internal phishing emails every now and again, to different subsets of end users, with different levels of believability & we keep track of who reports them & who clicks on the link and enters any information. The only thing that has seemed to work was the threat of naming and shaming as part of the follow up.

Could an AI android live forever? What, like your other IT devices?


The Bicentennial man

The Robin Williams movie Bicentennial Man did a pretty good job of showing that without continuous maintenance androids would wear out and break down. There are lots of things not to like in that film but I've always kinda liked it.

There was also a book that touched on man's fear of an AI take over, I can't remember the title but there was a conversation between a man and an android along the lines of "You are scared we will take over? Look at me, I am built down to a price using the cheapest parts."

No fax given: Blighty's health service bods told to ban snail mail, too


Maybe offer a choice

So watching my dad using email well into his 8th decade is painful but he can do letters just fine.

My wife's mum is fine with email but likes letters for "important things".

How about asking the patient how they would prefer to be contacted?

Techie finds himself telling caller there is no safe depth of water for operating computers


Air-Raid shelter = Cable runs

Working in a hospital that has been on the same grounds since WW2 it was probably expected that the old air-raid shelter under one part was used for cables & pipework. Unfortunately some bright spark decided a 6U Cab could be mounted on the wall (about 5ft up) as "All the cables go through there".

This only became an issue for me after a few days of constant rain when I had to roll up my trousers and wade through ankle deep water to patch in a new port. The estates department took 2 days to pump it all out. Luckily no IT equipment was harmed.

The Cab stayed in that location for a few years & yes it flooded again but by that time I was senior enough to send a minion.

Most munificent Apple killed itself with kindness. Oh. Really?


Re-Use where possible

My venerable iPhone 4 is used as a semi-permanent audiobook player in my car (can only update using iTunes as the Audible app won't work on such an old iOS) & my even more ancient iPhone 3G is the MP3 player in my wife's car. Both cars just use an aux connection.

My old Samsung S3 went to a relative to be one of his kid's "My first smartphone", the S5 replaced the mother-in-law's after she put hers thru the laundry & my S7 is sitting in a drawer waiting to leap into action if I break/lose my current phone.

So yes I upgrade, usually late but I have never thrown a phone away, although maybe there is no need to keep the HTC Windows mobile ones anymore.

Um, excuse me. Do you have clearance to patch that MRI scanner?


Shift left....

Shhhh... We might be able to tell people that the waiting lists and delays in treatment are because we are waiting for a vendor patch.

'No, we are not rewriting Office in JavaScript' and other Microsoft tales


Re: A rewrite is long overdue...

A scan and an email is not acceptable in all jurisdictions because it is "possible" to intercept that email, make changes to the scanned image and send it onwards to the original destination. In contrast, a fax sends the image line by line over a phone line & short of redirecting the call is much more difficult to intercept, alter & send onwards.

Legally, sending a scanned document via an email to fax product is fine, the scanned image still being transmitted as a fax.

5 reasons why America's Ctrl-Z on net neutrality rules is a GOOD thing


I have to wonder

I have wondered a few times about this & maybe you can help. Is there such a thing as a pro gun anti vaxxer? Are the NRA studies proof of herd immunity?

A) Gun carrying citizen = Vaccinated person

B) Criminal = Un-Vaccinated person

C) Poor little Timmy can be either immuno compromised or a victim.

More of A reduces B and protects C.

Or is it only the NRA that knows the true facts and the WHO are just making up claims.

Almost forgot... Vaccines can cause side effects = Guns can cause accidental deaths.

User dialled his PC into a permanent state of 'Brown Alert'


Silent laptops

Going back a few years one of the Toshiba laptop models (Tecra A2 I think) had a volume control dial on the side of the casing, in just the right place for it to be dialled to 0 when pulling the laptop from the bag. Because the were lightweight for the time they were popular with execs & said execs demanded a visit instead of going through the usual help desk script.

Cue a technician turning up and rotating the little dial slightly to 'fix' the problem.

Abolish the Telly Tax? Fat chance, say MPs at non-binding debate


Re: Pay-Per-View?

So if I stop using my car I don't have to tell anyone? It can sit on the drive with no insurance and I don't have to pay any vehicle excise duty? Why am I forced to tell the council when I move house?

If you are going down that route, why do I pay for libraries I don't use, swimming pools I don't go to and many of the other council 'amenities' I have no interest in?

It's £11 a month... and if it's 'The principle of the thing' then have a look at how much Channel 4 and, I think, ITV get from the licence fee because they also get a cut.



After reading a lot of the comments I am left wondering what people want, some are saying that Netflix is just as good, if not better (no mention of Amazon though). Some are talking about only paying for what you watch & using a subscription only model.

All well and good but when I had Nexflix I paid a flat fee every month and could choose from their offerings, kind of like paying the TV license fee and choosing what broadcast TV I watch.

As for Sky, again the amount of dross that you don't watch will outweigh what you do & there are probably 6 people watching 'Duck Dynasty' at 3am on Discovery+1 but everyone not watching is still paying if they have the basic package.

I am not a huge fan of the BBC but I find that £11 for the few things I want to watch is still better value than the £40 (ish) I pay to Sky for a similar number.

Pay as you go TV doesn't seem to be offerered by anyone BTW.

And if you don't watch BBC, that's fine too, there is a process whereby you can inform the relevant people and not have to pay the license fee.

BOFH: We're only here because they said there would be biscuits


Re: I am so glad that pantome.com is

Is there a SFW midget scat bondage site?

Ubuntu 'weaponised' to cure NHS of its addiction to Microsoft Windows


Re: MS won't take this lying down

A few years back this would have been the case but one of our glorious leaders decided to 'save' the public money by cancelling the licensing agreement between UK Gov & Microsoft.

As a result each NHS Trust (and local government) have to have their own licensing agreements with Microsoft, rough estimates have put the cost of this at 3 to 4 times the cost of the original agreement.

So one Trust moving to Linux means the lost of a single medium to large customer for MS.


Re: Pipe Dream

Have an upvote, I try and get this across every time 'The NHS should buy....' comes up.

UK hospital meltdown after ransomware worm uses NSA vuln to raid IT


Re: Need a DNS Firewall

" Access to the N3 network is severely limited " - Hahahahahahahaha


Re: Using Windows?

Someone in government decided that it would 'save money' to make each and every Trust/Surgery/Dentist etc responsible for their own budgets. There are a few NHS purchasing consortia but this is typically for consumables & not IT systems.


Re: Using Windows?

With few exceptions the NHS is not a single large organisation, it is made up of lots and lots of Trusts & surgeries that are all responsible for their own IT systems.

Two Sundays wrecked by boss who couldn't use a calendar


It's all in the details

There are times when just to be arsey you can pick these contracts apart, when told I 'had' to take part in the on-call rota I chose the 4th Tuesday every month because that indicated willingness and highlighted that there was no minimum level of commitment stated.

Similar sort of thing to extra hours worked, if the contract says you may be required to work extra hours, point out that you stayed late one day in Feb 2009 and regard that as satisfying the requirements.

The ‘Vaping Crackdown’ starts today. This is what you need to know



Walking along the path and passing a vaper... is that less bad for me than all of the cars, trucks and busses churning out toxins and particulates?

Brit polar vessel christened RRS Sir David Attenborough


Re: Glad to see that proper British values and common sense won the day

Pretty sure Admiral Nelson would have wondered what the internet is, where the sails were & why the boat was being built from metal. Possibly thought that there was a lack of cannon on board too.

Hollywood given two months to get real about the price of piracy


Re: Out on a limb here

IIRC there was a case where a distributor (possibly p0rn) put a film on a torrent site & then tried to claim it had been pirated. They were told that by putting the film on the site themselves they had pretty much agreed to allow downloading & couldn't sue anyone.

Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg


'Great, hologram projector working... Next step, work on colour.'

Apple: Samsung ripped off our phone patent! USPTO: What patent?


Im sure that

My first smartphone was an XDA 2 which was pre-iPhone release & that, like many XDAs had rounded corners and a rectangular screen.

Chill, luvvies. The ‘unsustainable’ BBC Telly Tax stays – for now


Pay for what we use?

Lots of people saying how they don't watch the BBC, listen to the BBC or even check the BBC website & therefor shouldn't have to pay. Sounds a lot like the old arguments against the Council tax, 'I don't use the library, swimming pool, etc so why do I have to pay towards it?'

The license fee is £12 a month by direct debit, if you can't afford that then fair enough you should be exempt but not if you have a 60" TV, cupboards full of booze, smoke & have whatever smartphones & tablets are the latest 'in thing'.

Really fed up with the 'cant put food on the table' argument, yes there are some people who are honestly in dire straights but seeing some overweight idiot puffing on a fag while moaning about no food for their kids is getting very old.

For the record, I listen to BBC radio in the car but only about 10% of my TV viewing is the Beeb.

Windows XP's market share grows AGAIN!


XP not quite out of support... Yet

UK Gov negotiated an additional year of support for NHS & UK Gov offices that still had a need for XP so 'Super Extended Extra Support' doesn't finish completely until the end of this month. A whole 29 days left to finish all of those upgrades to Win 7!

Apple patents NEVERSMASH iPHONE for fumbling fondlers


Are we sure...

This is not a BOFH article in disguise? An "Eccentric Mass" sounds like the kind of thing the PFY would be caught doing in the back of the server room!

Researchers: Trolls have dark tetrad of personality defects


Re: So, basically

Shhh.... It's not mummy's basement, it's my Fortress of Power!

Revenge smut bullies who send 'grossly offensive' messages WILL be prosecuted


Re: This is a copyright issue

Have an upvote... I was gonna say the same thing.

Whitehall and Microsoft thrashing out 1-year NHS WinXP lifeline


Re: Playing the long game.

5) Start with a cost-benefit analysis of each app in use. If you can't justify the cost, it goes.

So what cost-benefit do you place on saving a life? 'X bit of kit only saved 2 lives last year - bin it'?

6) For the unsupported crapola stick it on a VM, and reverse engineer it...

Um... Wouldn't this break various laws? Just because it's not supported on Win7 or Linux means it's ok to reverse engineer it?

So, my Trust has a dev team as you suggest, in collaboration with every other trust we re-write everything we need to it's all open source. Then a blood-gas analyser breaks & the company refuses to touch it because we are not running their drivers or software.

Oh, lets not forget that budgets are being cut and apparently public sector workers are hugely overpaid as it is so your "Pay them >=2x the graddy salary contract style on a 3 month rolling basis" idea would never happen unless you were happy to cut staff elsewhere. Oh yes, we can cut it from the dept that failed the cost-benefit part of the process.

Try working in the sector, using spit and baling wire to hold ropey systems together because there just isn't anything else that does the job. We know it's a problem, we know it's not sustainable but whos life do you want to make that little bit worse by deciding X system is not worth running anymore?


Deja Vu all over again

Posted this when they first talked about the & the comments were mostly the same so...


I work in a large NHS trust, we have over 100 individual departments, 9000 staff and 8000+ PCs and laptops. When shouting about 'How dare they?' please bear in mind that there is no single vendor for everything.

When working out how many discrete applications we were using we moved them into categories of 'want, need & site-wide' before testing. Of these, many of the site-wide applications had been brought up to date and were able to be moved without an issue. If an application was in the 'want' category and did not work on Win7 then the dept or individual was consulted and an alternative was worked out.

The main problem is with the applications and drivers that are needed for individual departments, some of these areas are extremely specialised and may only have one or two suppliers. Hearing aid testing equipment is one example, blood gas analysers are another, some of these machines can cost £100,000+ so 'buy from another vendor' is not a valid possibility.

Some web based applications will work using compatibility mode but others will not, there are problems with getting some NHS wide applications with Win7 64bit as well.

So yes we are migrating but unless you can decide which departments we should close until the vendors bring all software and drivers up to date there will be areas that still rely on XP for a while longer.


If 'The NHS' will do all of this work for me I'd be happy to but it is not a thing or a person, it is an entity with many many independent branches, each with their own budget & strategy, all trying to save money to meet with the latest 'Public spending cuts'.

Not sure if you're STILL running Windows XP? AmIRunningXP.com to the rescue!


Good old Microsoft

Can't even get that right, sent this around the office and my colleague checked out our 'legacy' testing PC.

Windows XP SP2 using IE8... 'You are not running XP'



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