* Posts by Empty1

36 posts • joined 5 Mar 2014

'We're changing shift, and no one can log on!' It was at this moment our hero knew server-lugging chap had screwed up


Re: Labels people, and read them!

Labels people, and WRITE them!

Behold: The ghastly, preening, lesser-spotted Incredible Bullsh*tting Customer


Pillocks like that don't have friends so they have to pretend.

Real-time tragedy: Dumb deletion leaves librarian red-faced and fails to nix teenage kicks on the school network


In the dim and distant past as a college admin, I found "deep freeze" and it was a life saver for everything except a small lab of Autodesk pc's

No backdoors needed: Apple ditched plans to fully encrypt iCloud backups after heavy pressure from FBI – claim


Re: But can you really disable icloud backups?

"The only non-tracking remote paging device was the old Motorola pager (at least in Italy) which could be used to track you only in very big macro-areas (north, center, south of Italy)."

The British BT pagers were, AFAIR, untrackable as they were one way devices, oly being receivers.

Sometimes shining a light on a nuclear problem just makes things worse


Mice too

The rare appearance of bright sunshine at certain times of day caused some old rollerball mice to behave eratcally

El Reg presents: Your one-step guide on where not to store electronic mail


Re: users would learn

In the old days (80's?) I used to hope for new hardware customers to have a data-losing fault. Learning the lesson early on reduces the chance of heart ache in years to come.

Far too many times at far too many places II was offered a couple of floppies when asking for their backups after replacing their dead 10Mb drive s

Questions hang over Gatwick Airport after low level drone near-miss report



Not forgetting millibars vs inches of mercury for air pressure

I'm still not that Gary, says US email mixup bloke who hasn't even seen Dartford Crossing


Re: Where's the EU when you need them?

+1 for being trapped with O2 email and no way out

Techie with outdated documentation gets his step count in searching for non-existent cabinet


"While you're here"

"While you're here" - The worst three words for a service person of any ilk.

What did turbonerds do before the internet? 41 years ago, a load of BBS


Leconfield RCPM

I never said "goodbye" when I pulled the plug on this - the last SCSI drive died and there was nothing I could do. Started off with 4 or 5 10mb seagate drives

System was multiuser Turbodos (cpm clone) with the ability to drop out of the BBS bit into the command prompt and use system commands for up/downloading.

Such good fun.

50 years ago: NASA blasts off the first humans to experience a lunar close encounter


Re: Remember

For the first Moon landing I was a newly qualified sparky on a ship traversing the North Sea - stood precariously on the bridge railings fiddling with the aerial to get an almost watchable picture. Skipper told navigator not to change course or else.

Brit prosecutors fined £325k after losing unencrypted vids of police interviews


"lost" - "unencrypted" is worse.

They've been fined for losing a DVD.

They should be hung, drawn and quartered for generating them without encryption.

Data exfiltrators send info over PCs' power supply cables


Old tech was easier

Oh, it was so much easier decoding the clack of the abacus

User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word


Re: One of my spall chuckers ...

Eye halve a spelling chequer

It came with my pea sea

It plainly marques four my revue

Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a quay and type a word

And weight four it two say

Weather eye am wrong oar write

It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid

It nose bee fore two long

And eye can put the error rite

Its really ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it

I am shore your pleased two no

Its letter perfect in it's weigh

My chequer tolled me sew.

(Sauce unknown)

Waddawewant? Free video codecs! When do we... oh, look, the last MPEG-2 patent expired!


Re: I wonder

I thought that was to release the hardware decoding ?

Military techie mangled minicomputer under nose of scary sergeant



I've seen similar where he door release button was next to the emergency stop button.

At a hot standby datacentre in a bunker. "'twas the BT man really!"

The healing hands of customer support get an acronym: Do YOU have 'tallah-toe-big'?



I witnessed this event for the first time in the 70's so at least I know it's true



A well endowed young lady who could never demonstrate the problem when a techie arrived to see what was wrong - due to her pushing her chair back somewhat to let the screen be seen.

Phantom keystrokes returned when chair pushed back to normal position.

Disk drive fired 'Frisbees of death' across data centre after storage admin crossed his wires


Emergency Retract

ISTR working on 80mb SMD drives and they dumped a charged capacitor onto the voicecoil to yank the heads back and off the disk for various faults detected. The carriage and heads shot back at a Hell of a speed.One of the labs were I did a bit of training still had an errant 6" bar magnet, as used with a coil for speed feedback ) buried in the breeze block wall behind the drive and was used as a warning not to stand directly behind the drive when first powering up after any repairs in the carriage area.

156K spam text-sending firm to ICO: It wasn't us, Commissioner


issued vs collected

"The ICO has issued £2m in fines across 20 cases since April 2017, and expects to impose another £1.4m in the coming months. "

How much has it collected in fines compared to issued. When I read of fines , much of the time the co. goes titsup and reappears like a phoenix under anther name.

Your future data-centre: servers immersed in box full of oil, in a field



I just hope they don't use PCB's to cool their PCB's


"Some PCBs share a structural similarity and toxic mode of action with dioxin.[5] Other toxic effects such as endocrine disruption (notably blocking of thyroid system functioning) and neurotoxicity are known"

.. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .- -. / .-. . .- -.. / - .... .. ... then a US Navy fondleslab just put you out of a job


...."....does the tablet work when 10 m swells send salt spray onto it?"...

Or the sun shines brightly?

Smart meter firm EDMI asked UK for £7m to change a single component


Re: Reverse energy

"On a green note I'm told that a so called smart meter won't work for me because I have solar panels and the meter isn't smart enough to cope with 'Reverse Energy'."

Mine does.

More brilliant Internet of Things gadgetry: A £1,300 mousetrap


Moggie + lack of meece

Our moggie starts bringing rabbits in when it runs out of mice.

Non-existent sex robots already burning holes in men’s pockets


".....happily splash out on....." Oh yes....

Teen in the dock on terror apologist charge for naming Wi-Fi network 'Daesh 21'


Re: Bollocks

And mine - "tv detector van"

You should install smart meters even if they're dumb, says flack


It was damn cold

"I'd like to never have to dig about in the under-stairs cupboard to take a meter reading, but that's the only real benefit I can see."

I've just changed supplier and have to go back to grovelling in the cupboard. Worse than before as the gas meter LCD has a narrow field of view so I have to lay on the floor to see it. The remote display widget has lost all its costings for usage and units since I changed and the Gas display is in KWh whereas the supplier and meter talk in cubic meters.

<gripe> after replacing the gas meter the bloke could not get the old boiler fired up so condemned it and sealed off the gas . Nice - try getting an old gravity boiler replaced with a condensing thing in a wintry December </gripe>

Cook moves iPhone debate to FBI's weak ground: The media


Wipe the device

So what happens if Apple writes some software that when uploaded mangles all the data from the phone? "Ooops" It shouldn't have done that". FBI can't test it on another phone beforehand as they say it only has to work on one serial number........

Ten years on: Ronnie Barker, Pismonouncers Unanimous founder, remembered



Delightful article. Brought both a laugh and a tear.

Game of Moans: Sky coughs to BORKED set top box BALLS-UP


@AC telephone.....

I think you'll find the updates come down the aerial rather than the phone line.

Now Samsung's spying smart TVs insert ADS in YOUR OWN movies


Similar happened late last year in the UK with trailers and things uncontrollably appearing a few minutes after switch on. It look some weeks before Samsung support admitted something wrong and it quienly went away.

New Snapchat Snapcash service inspires amateur PORN STARS

Paris Hilton

Re: Just the tip!

"and help me expand my clientele" fnarrr

Cryptome pulled OFFLINE due to malware infection: Founder cries foul


Forgot his backup site?

From the last time (or earlier) when access was lost??


Quick Q: How many FLOPPIES do I need for 16 MILLION image files?


Blank punch cards

Got half a box full of 80 col cards. Sadly the hand punch went a few years ago.

My first program was on three cards for a Philips P350 and I cut the holes out with a safety razor blade.

KCOM caught in yet ANOTHER customer privacy snafu


Re: Leaving Karoo

I'd go as well if there was an alternative.

Hundreds of folks ready to sue Bitcoin exchange MtGox


Rule #1 ?

Rule #1 is make sure they have enough dosh to pay the lawyers, sod the clients


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