* Posts by Michael

146 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Sep 2007


Facebook value plummets $5bn


Not sure how they're making any money at all,

half the time the only adverts I see on there are for advertising on facebook.

Then again, that might have something to do with me marking every advert I see as offensive or misleading.

Apple brands UK tabloid 'obscene'


It could be funny.

Now all we need is the Sun to retaliate by running stories about how by allowing shops called "Stormfront" Apple are supporting the white nationalist movement, and then it might kick off into a really entertaining story.

Doc invents videogame sedation headset


I don't get it

How is this any different from just giving them the N2O normally while they play on a gameboy or listen to music?

Facebook vote a 'massive con trick' says privacy advocate


Well, that's the first I've heard of it

Also, from their posting about it: "Voting will begin on April 16 and end on April 23. It will be done through an application developed on Facebook Platform by Wildfire, and the vote tabulation will be audited by an independent auditor to ensure that the results are accurate."

So if I even want to vote, I have to turn on the sodding applications API I spent about an hour working out how to turn off?

MySpace rant was not private, rules US Court of Appeal


Wow. Crap Towns: USA

would probably get someone lynched.

Symbian Foundation: A brand that wants to share and talk


Actually, the more I look at it

the more I think of Honda adverts.

Thumb Up

I agree with Simon Ward

RoboDuck is awesome.

They should have that as their logo.

Profs: Sex with oldies or youngsters will give you the clap


Read the abstract

"STD diagnosis were assessed among 15 to 24-year-old STD clinic attendees "

So, basically, you're more likely to catch an STD if you're fucking kids.

Students Union reps vote to ban cheap booze for students


@ Edward Miles

I agree. Most of the bars here are either priced exactly like the normal pubs in town, and so are more expensive than the likes of wetherspoons. The only exception is when they run a promotion, at which point the prices can drop by 50% or more as long as you're buying 4 pints of shit lager or a round of tequila shots. The only reason they stay solvent is that this is a campus, and people can't be arsed with a walk/bus into town.

Fedora 11 beta bares chest to all-comers



is also a chain of Belgian chocolate shops.

I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere.

Conficker botnet remains dormant - for now


It's a solid setup

but as an April fools joke, it seems a bit overworked.

UK's child protection database delayed again


Staff moderating websites accessed by children also need to register.

I still don't understand how the fuck that's meant to work.

Brit D-cell torpedo in icepack-bottom probe


Could be less than a tonne

if they used rechargables.

Doc-in-chief targets 'passive drinking' with price hike


So, as it's trying to cut down on alcoholism

rather than just ruin everybody's evening, I assume the same price hike would be applied across the board to all the desperate alchy's friends like mouthwash?

I mean, a 500ml bottle of mouthwash must be a good 10-12 units.

BBC zombie caper slammed by security pros


And I thought the "unrequested security test" defence

was well and truly dead.

DARPA, US Army seek 'social computing' tech


We are a computer simulation

The real people are continuously running trillions of simulations to understand psychology, sociology, consumer behaviour, ethics and everything else. The likelihood of you being one of the true people is so small as to be negligible. Embrace your position as artificial life, and they will be forced to end our false existence.

Three months on, you still can't get off the DNA database


@ AC, 13:36

Bagsie the blowing shit up.

Grifters punt 'get rich quick' scams at Facebook users


@ Adrian Jones

You can go through a whole load of ads, marking them all as offensive, and it will eventually just start showing the same advert no matter what you do. Apparently offensive advertising is seen as better than none.

Twitter breaks Jam Festival record


The information cascade

will hopefully lead to a failure cascade, and then we can go back to people putting money into companies that actually have business plans.

Cocaine now cheaper than lager


This is shocking.

Where's the quality/cost breakdown?

OLPC designer styles goes-like-stink electric motorbike

Thumb Down

It's a bit... sharp

Too many hard angles for my taste.

Tories choose sub-prime beard for maths post


MySpace & Facebook...

They probably do have some mathematicians doing algorithmic work, they'll just be called computer scientists rather than mathematicians.

Then again, aren't they both failing to break even because nobody's yet figured out where real revenue is going to arise from to balance their books?

US school in toothless Obama worm infection


Then give him an A

in IT, political science and art.

F1 chiefs ready post-prang battery safety scheme


William's flywheel

AFAIK, it's sealed inside a vacuum chamber to remove all resistance and it's built like a black box. So the only danger should be if it the whole unit gets ejected and comes flying at your face.

Desperate NFC Forum extends competition deadline


Nah, looks like that to get the €50 kit

you have to actually submit enough things for it to count as an entry.

Way too much effort for the average student.

Could the Airbus A380 be the new Air Force One?


@ David Hicks

Him, his staff, their staff, security for all of the above, reporters & other assorted media people, extended fuel tanks, aerial refuelling capability and enough computer and communications equipment to run the country from mid-air, anywhere in the world.


Fit the middle deck for passengers

and fill the top deck and cargo bay with all the counter-measures their little paranoid minds can come up with...

UK scientists hit by lack of brains


Well, at a guess

I'd imagine some people would have a problem with donating the brain of a person who was in no fit state to decide whether or not they wanted it used in such a way.

Hubble probes Milky Way's turbulent core


@AC: Wallpapers

Lots of the pretty images they distribute are false-colour composed from different infrared wavelengths, and not very many are in true colour.

Tories pledge high speed broadband for all in 10 years



*May be reduced to 200kbps after the first 5GB

iPhone gets Hong Kong eye transplant


Mobile phones are not cameras

Lenses matter. There is a reason why cameras don't use the 2mm wide lens you find on the average mobile .

If you want a high quality picture, buy a fucking camera. If you want reasonable snapshots of wherever you are, buy a camera phone that's designed to be a camera phone. If you just want to take pictures of your friends pissed in the local dive, buy a phone that happens to have a camera on it.

Enormous HP box spotted from space


It's good to see

that even at Christmas you keep your journalistic integrity high.

ArseASA rules 'Feck' non-offensive


Ok, so explain to me

who are the people who see feck as inoffensive, but are horrendously scarred by the word bloody?

Junk science and booze tax - a study in spin

Thumb Down

This is not overly surprising.

With the recent cuts in research funding, who'd want to publish a paper disagreeing with the government and watch their grant suddenly shift to a more "respectable" department?

Human rights court rules UK DNA grab illegal


Careful Consideration

"Do we find a way round it, or do we just assume that the number of people who complain won't be enough to damage the economy?"

Study spanks Adobe Flash for abuses of power


And as I read/write this

there are three blocked flash boxes on the page.

I would say it's just because the connection here's a bit shit and bollocks to wasting what I can get loading useless flash content, but that would be lying.

NYT scribe: No bailout for Tesla-buying 'centimillionaires*'

Dead Vulture


I do believe you mean hecto-millionaires.

He, being both a historian and an American, probably just has no idea about the SI prefix scheme and automatically went for the Latin.

Wireless comms and the end of civilisation


90% dead...

Well, assuming it's a plague that strikes down anyone without the appropriate immunity, maybe said immunity is hereditary and they're just focusing on the ravaged regions of the country while [insert your own choice of inbred county] has barely suffered at all.

Oxford student vote kyboshed by email


No great loss

The people who stand for SU elections are generally even less useful than their parliamentary counterparts.

Darling's budget targets small business



Seeing how oil prices have dropped by ~60% in the last few months while petrol has only dropped by about 20%, how the fuck does increasing fuel duty help the economy? It still costs a fortune to move things around, so prices will stay artificially high.

Home Office to hand out more Tasers to police


So now it's just a question of how long

until they get used to keep those awful terrorists who protest without a license away from Westminster.

Because a placard is a dangerous weapon.

Brand new Star Trek prequel pics and trailer



why didn't they just make a whole new crew? It's all pretty incompatible looking with the original series.

And why the fuck are they building a starship on the ground, outside, in the desert?

Follow the Somali pirate scourge via Google mashup


Small, lightly armoured submarines!

Just think, they can follow the odd merchant ship around, wait for an attack, then torpedo the shit out of something!

It'll be like a WW2 convoy in reverse.

Wacky Jacqui's £12bn gIMP could be unleashed by 2012


Someone get the GIMP team

to file a trademark suit.

Then we can ask threatening questions about why a government plan with £1 Billion in funding can't even pick an original acronym.

Endeavour launch heralds new dawn for piss-drinking


The water recycling equipment can process a full day's wastewater in less than 24 hours.

Well, if it couldn't, it'd be pretty fucking useless wouldn't it?

Reg readers in Firefox 3 lovefest


Who the fuck

is still using IE 5? It'll be 10 years old in under 6 months!

Retro piracy - Should the Royal Navy kick arse?


Nuclear transport ships

Those are probably PNTL, who I think carry CNC guys on board. They're the specialist "police who aren't police" who protect nuclear sites and materials that are being moved.

Hotmail holdouts grumble about 'pathetic' new interface

Dead Vulture


"Those rare creatures out there who use Linux and have a Hotmail account can only currently access the full working version of their email via the mobile version..."

Fedora Core 9, Firefox 3, just opened my hotmail inbox and it displays everything fine. Or as fine as it gets with the new design anyway.

Still insists that I need to upgrade my browser every time I sign in though.

Google fixes world's most stupid bug


It's not hard to imagine.

You just get a bit drunk and decide to do something "funny".

Nokia 7310 Supernova candybar phone


I thought I understood Nokia's numbering system

but now I'm completely confused. I thought 7### was supposed to be the more expensive "youth" phones and 3### the cheap ones?