* Posts by Timothy Slade

63 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jul 2007


Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Timothy Slade

Now we can Coca~Cola brand the moon - beat that Peps!

Timothy Slade

"I'm feeling light-headed"

Timothy Slade

"Don't look now, but that cute DSLR just walked in the door"

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Timothy Slade

When do we start floating?

Half-Life 3: CONFIRMED?

Timothy Slade

Re: HL was great, HL2 was

Ravenholme was the worst, most tedious, predictable "woooo scary - look! look! scampering things you are now scared" lazy crap.

HL kept me curious about what was going to happen next.

By the time I'd finished HL2 and epsiode 2 I was thoroughly bored of the whole thing.

Because it was boring.

Even if Valve aren't going to go for some sort of sandbox/open world environment, they need to improve their plots and they need to lay off the heavily scripted set pieces.

New evidence: Comets seeded life on Earth

Timothy Slade

Men can lactate. Men can breastfeed. Male nipples are not useless, they're just rarely used.

Eddie Murphy heading for worst movie ever glory

Timothy Slade

I don't even think the ending was that clever.

Oooh skynet was software and it tooks over teh webz.


How does that give it a manufacturing base?

How does that give it the sorts of advanced robotics needed to start producing killing machines?

If it's running on people's home pcs, then a power cut will cripple it.

laem laem laem.

But, yes, absolutely, John Connor turning from a badass into a wimp was the desecration of a childhood hero.

And the nanobots, and their totally patchy application. Why did the walking fleshlight bother to pull over when the cop stopped her for running the junction? she could have just taken control of his car and crashed it. If she could make a flamethrower of her arm, why couldn't she make a jet, and fly to John Connor and land on him at high speed.

Fail all round.

Timothy Slade
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Re: The Room


Truly a great film.

Timothy Slade

Reading this nearly bought a tear to my eye.

Terminator and Terminator 2 were huge, for me, as a teen.

The way that T2 took themes from the original and added depth and meaning, and dealt (albeit briefly) with the emerging psychology of the machines was awesome.

T3 took a huge dump all over all of that.

Maybe not the worst film ever, but you've certainly got my vote for most hated and despised.

Facebook shoves your face into creepy 'sponsored stories' in 2012

Timothy Slade




German 'minister for cut'n'paste' resigns over PhD plagiarism

Timothy Slade

Guttenbergs project was not free...

Maybe he thought it was out of copyright....

Nissan readies ultra-low CO2 petrol engine for Micra

Timothy Slade
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No such thing

"road tax"

No such thing. Please correct article for factual correctness.

Rare metals found in Cornish tin mine

Timothy Slade
Paris Hilton

cowboys and indiums?

dunno. The mining corps will probably cowboy safety and environmental regs along the way.

Google illegally divulges user searches, suit claims

Timothy Slade



no referrer data sent.

Job done.

Apple signals disk free notebooks way to go

Timothy Slade


Apple does do Flash?

Robot goes berserk in Balkan lab: 6 boffins given dead arms

Timothy Slade

@Doug Glass



slave (n.)

late 13c., "person who is the property of another," from O.Fr. esclave (13c.), from M.L. Sclavus "slave" (cf. It. schiavo, Fr. esclave, Sp. esclavo), originally "Slav" (see Slav), so called because of the many Slavs sold into slavery by conquering peoples.


from Czech robotnik "slave," from robota "forced labor, drudgery," from robotiti "to work, drudge," from an Old Czech source akin to Old Church Slavonic rabota "servitude," from rabu "slave"

Funny to refer to the robot as a slave (Slav) when its creators are Slavs, and robot is a slavic word.

Made me funny anyway.

Google open sources JPEG assassin

Timothy Slade
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@It won't go anywhere...

Yes it will.

Opera are on board.

Opera provide the browsers for the greatest number of mobile devices (Bing for the numbers, I can't be bothered to), the Wii, and a bunch of other web capable consumer devices.

It's particularly relevant to mobile and users with low bandwidth connections, say in the 'developing world', where (IIRC) a majority of internet connections are mobile (don't think smartphone, though, think Nokia candybar style phones).

HABITABLE ALIEN WORLD discovered 20 light-years away!

Timothy Slade

I, for one...

welcome the interstellar hostile takeover bid for Bebo that's sure to be launched.

Tory MP's email fail stirs up bloggo-fury

Timothy Slade
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Democratic representation

"so you think democratic representation should be restricted to those who can present a coherent argument?"

Yes. Also all services and benefits.

And the right to breed, too.

Android's UK phone sales quadruple

Timothy Slade

@dan 10

So you're too lazy or stupid to make an informed decision about what you should buy, too unimaginative to think that you could look up specifications or reviews of available models on sites other then the manufacturers own (cos, lets face it, it's always going to be a load of marketing guff on manufacturers own sites), so you rely on Apple to make the decision for you.

Try this:

decide your budget

list the features you want in a phone

use google to find review sites, to determine which phones have those features, within your budget

buy phone

It's not really that difficult.

Lancet: Hordes of patio-heater babies will doom planet

Timothy Slade

Reading comprehension

@Pete 2, RE: wrong target? #

"The Trust has told the Reg in the past that Blighty needs urgently to reduce its population by 35 million or so"

There was something called the 'one world study', and I'm quoting from memory here, so feel free to google for it, and correct me on minor errors, but; they estimated the number of planet earths that would be needed for people to live sustainably, given various lifestyles: given a US American lifestlye - energy / food use, etc, 6 planet earths would be needed for it to be sustainable, that is, 1 billion people can live that way on one earth, this figure decreased through other industrialised nations, and so on, down to, IIRC, Somalia or Ethiopia - the 'lifestyles' of which would be sustainable for the global population, on a (decent sized) fraction of one earth. So there is plenty of consciousness that the main problem here is industrialised nations. However, unless you're going to actually suggest culling people, then the next best thing is reducing further population growth, in nations which are trying to industrialise.

Vintage IBM tape drive in Apollo moon dust rescue

Timothy Slade
Dead Vulture


No mention of boffins, no puns on dusty tapes of dusty dust data, no alitteration.

Standards falling. Disappointed.

In-body electric eel tech to make 'leccy from body fat

Timothy Slade

Adenosine triphosphate

Is used in signaling between nerve cells. Energy is produced from it by breaking the phosphate bonds. When all the phosphate bonds have been broken, the adenosine (if I'm remembering this correctly) migrates back along the signal path to the preceding nerve/neuron and inhibits it from firing, as the receiving cell (the one that has released the adenosine) has no resources left to deal with any input. One of the ways in which caffeine works in the body is by binding onto adenosine receptor sites, without inhibiting the cell, thereby blocking adenosine from other cells from binding, which allows that nerve/neuron to keep firing.

All of which leads me to wonder if people with such implants will be restricted from consuming anything caffeinated.

Feds cuff blogger for Guns N' Roses leak

Timothy Slade

@ryan and author

"complete shite"


Joss-sticks increase cancer risk: Official

Timothy Slade

old news

Maybe not this particular study, but this effect was reported in New Scientist more then 5 years ago.

Prof says fatties a bigger menace than bin Laden

Timothy Slade
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@James bassett

"Save oil; burn a fatty" I think that will be my new motto (sorry I modified it to be non-gender specific = wouldn't want to be un-pc now, would we?)

Hadoop: When grownups do open source

Timothy Slade


Just my tuppence: there is nothing wrong with the language in this article. Maybe I think this because I grew up in the inner city. Maybe it is because of my age. Maybe it is because my parents let me swear in the house. Or maybe it is because they are just words. You validate them, by reacting to them.

IBM solves world's 'paper or plastic' crisis

Timothy Slade
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Use my own bag on tesco self check out lanes all the time, sometimes with lots in, just make sure to always put it in place before you press 'start' on the touchscreen.

Tory leader's stolen bicycle surfaces on eBay

Timothy Slade
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@Matt Bryant

Working for a council now, I couldn't possibly comment ;)

Somehow I doubt Messers Cameron and Johnson both lost their steeds to the local authority.

Timothy Slade

Our great leaders...

Can't even secure their own property...

I have been cycling in london as a way of getting about since I was 14. I'm about to turn 29, so that's 15 years. Nearly ten of those years I was a despatch rider. In all that time I have had one bicycle stolen, that was when I was 14, and it was from a friends garden where I left it unlocked. That taught me my lesson, and from the first day of owning my new bike onwards, whenever I wasn't on it it was either locked to something, or inside my house. Simple. An effective lock costs ~£50. Replace your quick release on the wheels with security skewers that require an alan key, for £10, or for a touch more you can get ones that have a five sided alan key that they come with. Always lock your bike to something metal that is set in the ground, and which the lock can't be lifted over the top of (as they can be with many types of street signs on posts). A welded link chain provides as much security as a D lock, and you can get it round more things.

It will be interesting to see if Mr Cameron repeats his error, like the great buffoon Boris (don't blame me, I didn't vote for him, he's had 7 bikes nicked) Johnson. Yes, one of my reasons for not voting for Boris (besides the fact that he's incompetent and a racist) is that he has had 7 bikes stolen. If, after the first loss, you don't step up your security measures significantly, then you are failing to recognise the problem, if after the third one, you still don't see what the problem is you are clearly mentally retarded, and shouldn't be allowed out without the constant supervision of a responsible adult. The problem isn't the scallys that nick the bike, the problem is you and the choices you make about how to secure your property. But hey, let's just trust these people with guiding our city and our country, right? (Yes, I know Cameron isn't part of the elected government, but there are those who would elect him, so...)

Spaniards show off touchscreen moto-computer tech

Timothy Slade

"A fatal Error has occured"

Brings a whole new meaning to that message, doesn't it?

To steve "Surely these are activities that ... should be done whilst stationary." Just like using a phone, drinking a hot drink, putting on your makeup, and the million and one other things that people do in their moving vehicles every single day. Manufacturers /intended/ usage bears no relation to what the idiots will actually do with it.

Criminal record checks could hit over 14 million people

Timothy Slade


details of employers (I think) places you've lived, etc. First one I had done, they asked me to come in and provide a fingerprint, as my details were apparently similar to someone else. As that was for a voluntary post, I nearly spat the dummy, as I don't trust the assurance that my prints will only be used to verify I wasn't that person, then destroyed and not held on record, but swallowed it instead. The next one I had done, there was no request for fingerprints.... How they could tell I wasn't the person with similar details, seeing as how they didn't have my fingerprints on record, I am kind of curious.

Trousers Brown Counterpoint: Is Gordon right?

Timothy Slade
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Oh, really?

My washing machine has hot and cold inlets, and doesn't heat any water itself (if there is no hot in the water storage tank, it washes cold), Robin, and I don't crank it by hand. It is slightly more then 5 years old. I was under the impression that it was more efficient to use gas to heat water directly then to use electricity when the whole picture is looked at (ie the efficiency of generating the leccy remotely, using gas/coal/etc to heat water, turning that into leccy, and transporting it to the home) The only dishwasher I have ever seen the plumbing to (at my parents house, when I was a kid) had a hot water inlet. So maybe my knowledge is out of date.

Oh, and it's 'Timothy', not 'Tomothy', but Tim will do.

I agree with Dave about over population.


Timothy Slade

some numbers and arguments


presenting the case that small holdings are more productive then big industrial farms. There is a related lecture by Noam Chomsky, if you google "chomsky automation" (sans quotes).

Also, why the verbal blowjob for Brown?

"All his political career, Gordon Brown has hated this sort of thing. He has always wanted to seriously tackle world poverty, insecurity and inequality. He spent ages at the Treasury building up funds to do so, and was reportedly quite miffed when a lot of the cash got sidetracked into paying the extra bills of the Iraq and Afghan wars.

He has always wanted to end the EU's protectionist farming regime, too, which would give the Third World a much fairer shake"

Has he really?


Subsidised produce from the EU is putting african farmers out of business. I remember reading, although I fail to find the article right now, that one of the conditions of the Gleneagles G8 debt writeoff was the removal of trade barriers, allowing more EU subsidised food into those countries.


To see what Brown reneged on within weeks of the Gleneagles G8 summit, and how some of what was reported was actually misreported and mis-represented ("Gordon Brown dropped a bomb. He admitted that the aid package the G8 leaders had promised “includes the numbers for debt relief.” The extra money they had promised for aid and the extra money they had promised for debt relief were in fact one and the same." for those too lazy to read the article)

Come on, Lewis, I like El Reg's broader view, but why the unbiased fluff job for brown? you sound like a faggot to Browns prefect "well, he spent just ages at the treasury trying to do so, and was reportedly quite miffed".

Must try harder.

Timothy Slade
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@Steven Peperell, @james Pickett

Steve: That would directly address the true cause of global climate change; the dramatic fall in the numbers of pirates since the 1800s (www.venganza.org)

James: The hot water used by your wasing machine and either your dishwasher or your good old fashioned washing up generally comes from your boiler, and most of us have gas boilers. Some washing machines and dishwashers will heat the water or further heat it if it doesn't come from your boiler hot enough, but I would imagine that the efficiency of these heaters is limited.

Obama bloats Vista by 11MB

Timothy Slade

Simple solution

Open Word, or WordPad (I'm going to assume they use the same dictionary) type in the words listed in the update (stopping to press ctrl-z if it auto corrects any of them) then run the spell checker, and press 'add to dictionary' on each one.

In fact, you can probably just copy and paste, as opposed to typing the words. I think this will be quicker then downloading 56mb, and no reboot needed.



(Adding "period" to the end of your sentence only makes you right when you are debating with other 11 year olds)

Google opens Android kimono

Timothy Slade

@by the way

I understood from the article that it was customisable. Which is probably better, because I doubt that the Japanese/Suomi/Zulu word for unlck starts with the letter 'U'.

USAF Colonel goes on the offensive with botnet destroyer plan

Timothy Slade


The USAF could probably save themselves some time and money by getting red-blooded, patriotic americans to volunteer their pcs for duty in this botnet - you willingly install a client, and when uncle sam needs to launch a massive DDoS attack, he can call upon every home pc in america...

What's this guys email address, I want to suggest this to him (just for a laugh)...

skull and crossbones, cos it's waaaay more attractive then paris hilton.

MPs and Lords turn on government over data protection

Timothy Slade


Not saying much if you're too chicken to put your name against it, is it?

US woman spends two years on boyfriend's toilet

Timothy Slade

Taking the piss?

Getting the boyfriend to pass water through the door.

Do we know what time the call was logged?

mines the one with the snorkel...

Major Linux security glitch lets hackers in at Claranet

Timothy Slade

RE: I Wonder... By Jamie Kitson

The odd / even thing for testing and stable distributions is only the second digit: in this case 6(a stable version, 2.5.xxx was the last development version) (2.6.xxx). But overall this system has been moved away from. Linus had something to say about it, a bit of googling should bring up the interview - basically that that model of development was too slow and painful - trying to huge amounts of updates and integration, so now he has moved the kernel to a development model of many small releases. He said that he is very happy with the way it works, and that he doesn't see the kernel moving on from 2.6 anytime soon.

Invisible-shed spy beam tech detects hidden artworks

Timothy Slade
Dead Vulture


more quantum somethings, then. I remember vaguely, an article about a boffin who was 'firing photons into a metal rod' and reported that they were coming out of the other end, either before he had fired them, or at quicker then the speed of light.

sure someone could dig this up.

(dead vulture, cos thats how I feel right now)

Facebook takes the Captcha rap

Timothy Slade

re: doctored image?

Not doctored, just resized, and probably using a linear rather then cubic or bicubic algorithm, so it just dropped some rows and some columns, possibly evenly spaced throughout the image. It just happens that it dropped the column that contained the upright of the second 'd' in 'add', as can be seen looking at the letter 'w' above, or 'h' below. Clearly you need content aware image resizing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qadw0BRKeMk).

New 3D chip transistor may reach 50GHz

Timothy Slade

old news?


it seems to have been revised somewhat since then, but seems essentially the same idea...

CIA erased waterboarding videos

Timothy Slade

@Tre LaDormin

Is there the possibility that if waterboarding had been applied to you by people who you knew or felt to be hostile to you, whilst you were being held captive, as opposed to it being carried out in (what I surmise from your brief description, though I might have misunderstood) a fairly benign environment, possibly by someone that you know, that it migh thave been terrifying, rather then just scary?

From what you say, you have the most informed opinion here, but is your take on it affected by the context in which you experienced it, is my question.

HMRC coughs to more data losses

Timothy Slade

@Arif Rashid

Biometric data doesn't quite work like that, mate: they store a 'hash' based on your fingerprint/retina scan/whatever. That hash isn't the data (ie, picture of your fingerprint) itself, but each hash is unique to a dataset. The data (fingerprint scan, or whatever else) is fed through the hashing function, the nature of which Karl Lattimer highlighted: C = M ^ e mod N. The all important bit is the modulo (mod).

So no one is going to be able to place your fingerprints at a crime scene. That is science fiction.

Bought some uranium ore? You'll need the anal douche, then

Timothy Slade


useful for cleaning uranus...?

Timothy Slade


very funny: CaWS (Cracked a wee smile)

Random number bug blights FreeBSD

Timothy Slade
Black Helicopters

Or, alternatively

They could just use some of the comments submitted to popular IT news site 'theregister'. Talk about random!

Beer set to hit four quid a pint

Timothy Slade
Paris Hilton

@richard tobin

numbers as comment titles not allowed, for some reason...