Posts by g e

Road charging, the sequel - Kelly unveils 'wired m-way' plans

Good. Then again... bad?

Yes. Stop HGV's trying to kill car drivers by pulling out to overtake cos they're too lazy to turn cruise off. 55mph vs 56mph over 500 miles is about 12mins difference. Plus I'm sick of the murderous bastards making attempts on my life twice a day on the M1.

Average speed metering while it is probably 'fairer' will just make folks drive on unmetered roads and why the hell would you want to slow traffic down... that guy doing 100mph in the Merc (not me, mine's an old Honda) is off somewhere to a meeting, trying to make a deal or some other business, you know... the economy and all that.

Does anyone else get a whiff of the great fresh smell of more traffic stealth taxation?

El Reg decimates English language

Never mind that...

I notice the kids' Collins French.German to English ("English" - pah) dictionaries spell organise with a 'zee' ... organize.

Does the OED now have -ize spellings instead of -ise ??

Too lazy (frightened) to check.

IE8 to follow web standards by default

It's nice...

... to think that finally the lawsuits, bugs & incompatibilities are starting to become more expensive than fixing the problem meaning that behaving correctly is now an important aspect of the M$ revenue stream.

Monkeys.

Data pimping: surveillance expert raises illegal wiretap worries

Ummm id I undertsand this right?

So Phorm's machines proxy the request for you or they are just inserted in the BT route for the data path?

If the former then as an ISP you can simply stick a simple Apache style redirect into your HTTPD config for Phorm IP's informing the customer their browsing may be being intercepted.

Presumably they exempt HTTPS traffic as well??

Filesharers petition Downing Street on 'three strikes'

Just hit back with...

A DPA request for all your information used to ID you from the BPI/RIAA/IFPI/etc and your ISP. Then maybe an FOIA request too, if appropriate?

They have to comply under law so if every time they issue a strike based on some screenshot some guy sent them and the BPI gets one then it'll cost them too much to maintain the system.

Like a screen shot is documentable evidence anyway. Photoshop, anyone? You could walk into court with screenshots of .gov IP's accessing anything you like that you faked and ask them to prove that their screenshot isn't fake. What's the chances they made some kind of evidentially acceptable screenshot audit system to prove validity?

EC jacks up Microsoft fine by €899m

Proof of a benign God

... perhaps?

Blunkett gets another job

So how's he gonna do that then?

I mean overSEE the shebang.. maybe he'll just 'over' it instead...

Geordie cops arrest two for Wi-Fi squatting

Responsibility

People want the technology without the responsibility of maintaining it correctly and knowing how to use it. This is why we have driving tests for vehicles.

It wasn't illegal to nab open wifi before the law was made, then someone decided it should be and it was. What's legal and isn't is just a case of where some lawlord sticks the goalposts this week apart from the obvious like murder, etc.

If you have the technical ability to tell that someone's accessing your wifi then you also have the technical ability to secure your router, likely meaning that the accessed device was run by someone who had nothing better to do than wait for someone to connect to dob em in.

Nabbing someone's wifi isn't really acceptable behaviour - especially if you're using it to d/l (C)/illegal material thereby incriminating the wifi owner - but if people would simply educate themselves a tiny little bit the problem wouldn't exist.

If ignorance is bliss there must be a shitload more ecstatically happy people in the UK than I regularly meet.

US declares 1400-mile Pacific sat-shoot exclusion zone

I wonder if...

It'll be worth watching that area on google maps for a while... just in case..

Prince and Village People dive into Pirate Bay

The best thing about Village People

Is The Amazing Christopher - if you can find a vid of his genius Why-Em-See-Ay (just in case YMCA is (r) (tm) (c) (p) (arse) oh damn I said YMCA. Oh no I said it again... )

The best clip is the one that's been yanked from YouTube by people angry at not being paid for people watching a clip of performing something to a tune from 30 years ago,sadly, even though they paid nothing for the clip that gives free promotion to their product.

Now there's an idea... how about people demand the record co's pay up for advertising when people do stuff like that... (and then I awoke and the dream faded)

'Suspicious comment' provokes LAX terminal evacuation

hehehehe

Next time you go to USA, pick a random person you don't like the look of and then say to some security guard 'I heard him saying something like "our glorious brothers"' or something suitably spy-parody-comical

UK bank blames fraudsters for World of Warcraft ban

Data breach ?

Perhaps the reason only the Halifax is doing this is because they've had a data loss or breach that they've not disclosed...

Veggies a 'perversion of nature': Official

So what did PETA stand for in that vid link?

Please Eat The Animals

Got an amicable a*se? We have the job for you

Eeeep!

Have your friendly posterior rewarded with a generous package?

Let me think about that for a moment...

No.

Thanks. But No.

Beeb censors Fairytale of New York

Censor the BBC, quick!

I think the 'BBC' should henceforth be known as '' because B, B & C could possibly stand for B*****d, B****r and C**t and may cause offence to people with young children. So, Happy C****tmas to everyone at the beeb. Oh, and Christmas should be renamed because it's Christian and may cause offence to all the other religions in the UK who forget they're actually living in a non-<insert your non-christian religious denomination here> country. Dunno what it could be renamed to... suggestions, anyone?

NZ police cuff teenage botnet mastermind suspect

65% eh

You just have to wonder at what proportion of those browsers are what, dontcha. Any figures for that, anyone?

Microsoft offers $300m for web-washing ad campaign

Slogan attempt

Just when you thought Microsoft Works was an oxymoron.

WINDOWS LIVE SERVICES

Waiting to Service YOU

Brown blushes over green cuts

I applaud Gordy boy for his green stance

Now that road tax is charged according to the pollution the vehicle creates we are one of the very few countries in the world to be able to boast a zero carbon footprint for motoring regardless of vehicle type.

Cos he uses all that cash to clean it up, naturally.

B3ta served DMCA notice for Photoshop Prince challenge

A tribute

I'm sure we all agree strongly with the curtailing of the B3ta postings that have obviously caused such deep and heartfelt distress to the sensitive artist concerned and we applaud B3ta's extremely responsible subsequent removal of the highly offensive content.

Presumably, though everyone can still tear the shit of of music-y stuff with a purple-theme colour scheme as long as they don't use the exact same pantone or rgb value...

An homage or tribute perhaps? What comes to mind first when you think 'purple' ? This could run for years.... ;o)

Prince sends army of lawyers to take on Pirate Bay

And they're still fans?

You'd think if someone started suing fansites that the fansites would shut down. Not because of any lame legal threats but because they'd stop being fans pretty sharpish.

Instead they keep going 'fanning' the guy suing them and continuing to promote him for free(?) in their own small way.

Mind you maybe this bizarre behaviour is some form of homage to the bizarreness of the purple one's own self.

China goes lunar

Right then

We need Google to sort it out as you can clearly see cars, buses, planes and presumably lunar rovers on those images, anyone got a spare satellite to lend them?

Soopah duper

So, now the USA can prove they finally went to the moon with pics of the bits n pieces they left behind courtesy of those kind Chinese folk?

Or not.

Microsoft to search browsers for JavaScript compatibility

Oxymoron

Microsoft Works

Royal Navy presses IT Crowd for nuclear missile 'servers'

Bust deterrent

I *heard* that we can't launch nukes without the agreement/compliance of the septics who have some kind of encryption key/auth key required to arm the warheads anyway. Without that the nukes are just a hightech brick with a big engine.

Anyone else heard of this or is it total crap?

TV-Links man was arrested under trademark laws

Ahhh bless

The Fanatics Against Clarity and Truth just love it don't they.

Makes you wonder whose advice they took to go forward with this (currently) dodgy looking action. Maybe they figure they can coerce the guy into some kind of plea bargain thing - something else I've never understood. Just why would you admit lesser guilt to anything if you're innocent as though the courtroom was just some big poker table.

Paris Hilton heads for the cryogenic freezer

Would it be poetic justice if...

She was indeed brought back to life in a thousand years (assuming various crazy nations round the world haven't bombed everyone - not looking at anyone in particular...) and she was 100% conscious but utterly paralysed. And in enormous pain. And completely unable to communicate it...

Or is that just too harsh to be poetic... ?

Plan for 20mph urban speed-cam zones touted

I might even start approving of cyclists again

As long as they all go past these cams at 25mph in their masses to as to make sifting them from the car drivers too expensive to make the cams practical.

And as long as they finally realise they're a slow moving obstruction on the road and ride within 12" of the kerb instead of in the middle of the road optionally two abreast.

Have you ever noticed how the more 'ecclectically' (sportif?) cyclists dress the more they think they can ride in the middle of the road? I don't care if your bike costs £2k and your tyres are £50+ a pop. Get in the gutter if you want to live, pay for a road sweeper vehicle to clean the kerbside before your 'event'. See those double yellow lines? That's the cycle lane.

And yes that is how I used to cycle as I would expect to die if I rode in the middle of the road, like nobs seem to these days, regardless of how gaily coloured I dressed.

Hmm maybe I'll never approve of cyclists on the road after all...

Ian McKellen keen to reprise Gandalf

Director

Get Jon Woo or James Cameron to direct it ..

Perhaps even Michael WInner could be tempted away from his insurance ad gig to bring The Hobbit to life...?

Britney's wares exposed online

Ah that'll be it, then

No doubt when her album sales flop it'll be because of the leaked files and nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that it's utter shite.

Cunning trick, that, the pre-emptive leaking of crap music to blame the subsequent lack of sales on the intarweb thus perpetuating the RIAA's mythos.

Wag The Dog, anyone?

Premature exit for GPL test case?

Tinfoil hat time

What's the betting that MS paid them to take a dive rather than set a precedent argued by lawyers MS has no control over.

Firefox-Google marriage on shaky ground?

Quid pro quo

I'm sure, then, they understand my freedom to use a tool to block their adverts. If their sole income is banner revenue then it's an arse sole business model anyway and they can be thankful it's carried them this far.

Firefox hits 400m download milestone

AJAX Schmajax

As all AJAX fans will no undoubtedly be aware, IE7 has only just got a properly working xmlhttprequest if I remember that function name correctly. Surely the rest of the world couldn't have been so right in their implementation that M$ had to mend it for V7... it's not like they'd change their way of doing stuff to fit in with everyone else after all... So maybe "AJAX" wouldn't exist without M$ and IE (did microsoft invent the function or something?) but it took everyone else to make it work right and then code the usual user-agent MSIE workaround for broken browsers...

IE will never be a development browser until it can behave like Firsfox with Firebug and Web Developer Toolbar. When I have to debug something in IE I find myself reaching for the Firebug popup to see why it's being got-wrong and then instantly hate the moment when I realise there is no Firebug.

Let's have the Reg stats for User Agents too, good idea.

ISPs turn blind eye to million-machine malware monster

Ohh.... stuff

At home we each have a PC plus I have a server under the stairs. All machines are windows except the server as I'd never connect a windows box directly to the internet. The ADSL uses a router not a modem. My machine and the other 1/2's machine are directly NAT'd to the net through the router, the kids' PC's are routed through the Linux box which forces them to go through Squid proxy, denying any URL's I don't want them to access. The Linux box destroys any open network connections from the kids' machines at 9pm every night and Squid rejects new connections from 9pm to 9am except weekends.

We run Thunderbird and Firefox (IE and Lookout Express are banned), every 'doze machine runs Zone Alarm and no machine trusts any other machine other than the Linux server. Other than these restrictions everyone has free reign on the LAN/Intarweb to do what they want. In 7 years I've only ever found one virus that was unable to propagate due to the zero trust rule. I destroyed that virus with the (imho) great Trend Micro free online checker (housecall.trendmicro.com).

I find it ironic to the point of fraud that MS distribute an antivirus program for their own OS, never mind how useless it actually is. I've known McAfee installations to miss 80% of viruses on various machines that were later diagnosed to have dozens of nasties on them.

Ban ADSL modems, make everything go through a router that drops all incoming connections and restricts outbound to the more common ports like http, pop3, imap, ftp, etc as the default config. If you understand how to manage a router then you probably know what ports you need open.

"Windows is what computers run, in the same way as IE is the Internet." If you believe the w3schools stats only about 56% of people use IE6 or IE7 with Firefox now being just over 1/3rd of browsers in use (about the same as IE6). Windows is what most USERS run, there's a lot of servers out there sat on the internet that don't run windows, most of those that are compromised are because numpties install e.g. BBS software with well known vulns in them.

Agree completely that ISP's taking some form of action against malware traffic would greatly reduce their bandwidth bills, there must be some 'implementation' cost in doing it that stops them.

P.S.

... oh, and why would I never connected a windows machine directly to the internet?

Simply because the one time when we decided to test the claim that you have 15 minutes (we were taking bets around the 3-5 minute time) to secure a windows box with patch downloads before it's pwnd, the laptop we routed a direct net connection to having just installed a fresh copy of XP on survived thirty SECONDS before magically rebooting and coming back up under someone else's control...

God knows how you're supposed to patch windows if you have an ADSL modem instead of a router.

Dell's Linux sleight of hand

Tinfoil hat time

Maybe they hide the Ubuntu site away because if they publicised it more then more people might wonder why it's dearer for a free OS than Windoze and that would lead to people wondering if MS are subsidising the Windows PC's to further entrench their monopoly position in the market...

Which would mean an arse-kicking for someone

Government warns parents of food-colouring danger

GIGO

Garbage in (food) gives Garbage out (behaviour/attitude).

We give our kids the healthiest diet we're able (one of them is very diet-sensitive, so they all get the same), i.e. low sugar, next to no additives or preservatives, where we can.

Once a teacher had some jaffa cakes which were passed around the class, our daughter had one and the teacher said that was the last time she was going to do that as she was hyper for the rest of the day...

If you take the crap out of the kids' diet and increase the omega3 (yeah sounds like a diet ad doesn't it), you'll be amazed at the difference in your kids in 3 weeks.

It's not like you have to punish your wallet to do it, either, just be attentive to what you buy in your weekly shop. I know parent who have their kids diagnosed ADHD but feed them absolute junk (think fast food almost daily, etc). Maybe the kids should get a decent diet and get the damned lazy PARENTS diagnosed with something.. suggestions for what the diagnosis could be, anyone? ;o)

The UK office: hotbed of net smut addiction

The SUN. Right

We all know what a reliable and high-integrity publication that is.

MS lawyers take out AutoPatcher

So. Change your windows key.

It's not like a keychanger and a legit 'doze key won't let you get a 'Genuine Advantage' (TM)(R)(P)(C)(whatever) anyway and MS themselves will patch you gladly.

And it's not exactly like the evidence is suggesting that the official updates are always infallible or safe to install...

Vista's Long Goodbye strikes again

Hmmmm... I wonder...

Knowing the attention to detail those programmers Microsoft allegedly has (you know.. the ones that can't make an email or browser app just work properly)... do you think localhost is also considered a network interface as well?

Imagine an exploit based on streaming something from 127.0.0.1

<Pinky_in_Mouth> Frikkin' awesome </>

Google, Yahoo! and Amazon sued over email patent

BWAHAHAHA

Such outrageous nob-cockery

Anyone know how old procmail is? There'll be shedloads of prior art for this, surely.

I feel it important, though, that the companies being sued endeavour to cost Polaris as much money as humanly possible (or lawerly possible, come to think of it) in prosecuting this so they go bankrupt to the point where even SCO could afford to buy them.

Storm Worm descends on Blogger.com

Had one of these earlier

So I sent this to [e-mail]

The IP address 89.228.44.117 in your network is being used as a

destination for a fake youtube infection vector. You must take

immediate action to disable this server to prevent your entire network

being blacklisted and blocked by us on behalf of our clients.

If they receive enough crap they might actually address the issue... ?

SexSearch.com gets off on user's underage romp

But ow can it be his fault...?

If the website aren't to blame then surely the girl is to blame for misrepresenting her age when she signed up.

Isn't the definition of entrapment the causation of a criminal offence by taking action without which the perpetrator would never had cause or motivation to commit said offence?

If she'd said she was fourteen and a slapper then he'd never had even clicked.

IBM faces Second Life strike

Conclusive evidence

Surely this is absolute proof of why these people DONT deserve a payrise?

Bizarre.

Rentokil to set Q Branch on UK's rats

Bah

Perhaps if the damned council took all the rubbish away from peoples' homes there'd be less rats to go around.

I notice my council tax didn't decrease when they suddenly introduced those hateful bins and overnight were suddenly unable to remove the same amount of rubbish as the previous week using the same truck.

Paper calls for local ID cards

It's an accounting scam

I agree with the 'join it up into National' sentiment posted above as it's usually the kind of transparently obvious sneakery the uk.gov perpetrates.

However getting the local authorities to implement it means it doesn't come out of central governemnt budget doesn't it? So the LA's get given some implementation money which they'll mess up with - after all they're incapable of taking away all my household rubbish, why should they be more competent at such a complex undertaking as ID?

Anyhow the gov then gets to creatively account for the scheme and then pat itself on the back for integrating it as National later on at a much smaller central gov outlay.

Google Adwords dive-bombed by American Airlines

AA ?

Perhaps it could be 'Assholes Abound?'. I daren't even type 'Airborne Attack'. Oh. Bugger.

No doubt they'll try and sue for defamation for that one. Oh. hold on.. I didn't say who it was in relation to... there's loads of AA organisations listed higher up the page.

Time to dump my RAC membership for an AA one ?

RIAA gets some class

Oh happyyy daaaayy!!

Which was actually the title of an email I sent a mate the day SCO got bent over in the court but I digress...

What would be utterly tanfastic would be if the RIAA got kicked about big time by the class suit and THEN the artists sued them for something contributory that had damaged their income raised by evidence presented in this case... I think that may constitute proof of a benign and loving God if it came about LOL!

Maybe then the IFPI might shut up and think about their future, too.

As for the TV license.. I think I'm right saying it's required if you possess a device CAPABLE of receiving and displaying/playing the broadcast or a part thereof, whether you use it for DVD's or Playstation is moot. I'd like to see someone prove the didn't watch BBC ever and therefore had no need to fund them in that special 'unique' way. I never did get a response from them to the letter I worte asking if they could provide a breakdown of all first-time broadcasts material vs repeats and omnibus subsequent broadcasts and schedule time taken up by broadcasts first made in previous licensing annums (i.e. stuff already paid for by a previous year's license collection). This would allow the true ratio of original programming vs stuff-already-paid-for to be seen so the portion of the license fee used for transmitting stuff you were effectively paying for twice/thrice/etc could be easily shown.

Maybe if someone from the Beeb reads this they might like to volunteer the information to El Reg for all of us, tem being an institution commited to open access to all in a platform agnostic manner. (ssshh .. don't mention the IPlayer)

Warner Bros to remake Enter the Dragon

Now taking bets on...

How long they wait till they 'remake' Forbidden Planet and murder it like they did with Lost In Space and all the other abovementioned classics.

Not so many years ago all the planets were in alignment in a straight line across the solar system (at least I was give to believe such). Even the mighty English (en-GB) language has no words to describe my disappointment at the combined gravity thingies not causing California to fall into the ocean and wipe out Hollywood.

Maybe Luc Besson should remake Apocalypse Now in Romania with a Tibetan cast just to spite these movie monkeys.

Jason Bourne disses James Bond

Bourne again

Brian Cox is possibly the Bourne's only redeeming feature but things going bang and sneaky people getting duffed up in slickly choreographed fight scenes is always entertaining.

I invite Matt to watch Casion Royal, though, as is seems like he hasn't watched it. As for calling Bond a misogynist, M already called him that ages ago (misogynist dinosaur) and wasn't that how Fleming wrote the character ?

Anyway, has anyone else noticed that no other country seems to keep making movies about how their government is always shafting, lying, experimenting, kidnapping, imprisoning, framing, scapegoating and patsying their electorate or is it just me?

Bourne again

Brian Cox is possibly the Bourne's only redeeming feature but things going bang and sneaky people getting duffed up in slickly choreographed fight scenes is always entertaining.

I invite Matt to watch Casion Royal, though, as is seems like he hasn't watched it. As for calling Bond a misogynist, M already called him that ages ago (misogynist dinosaur) and wasn't that how Fleming wrote the character ?

Anyway, has anyone else noticed that no other country seems to keep making movies about how their government is always shafting, lying, experimenting, kidnapping, imprisoning, framing, scapegoating and patsying their electorate or is it just me?