* Posts by 2+2=5

1501 posts • joined 21 Jan 2014

We're not getting back with Galileo, UK govt tells The Reg, as question marks sprout above its BS*

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A dumb question but... where does NATO fit into this?

A dumb question but where does NATO fit into this? If the US PNT report says GPS isn't good enough on its own for the US then presumably it isn't good enough for NATO either? And if Galileo is the answer - then won't the EU be asked/paid/persuaded to give access to NATO members?

Dying software forces changes to VMware’s vSphere Clients

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Joke

Re: It is *not* an "HTML5-powered client"...

> Want a vaguely reliable web application? Want one that has a hope of accessibility and reliability, particularly cross browsers and devices?

Just hang on for HTML 6 which will come with a complete Win32 API.

This is how demon.co.uk ends, not with a bang but a blunder: Randomer swipes decommissioning domain

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> At this point I don't know how sarcastic to be when congratulating the selfless individual who generously registered the domain to protect us all from fraud and villainy.

If I’d known it was available I would have grabbed it just for the (slightly selfish) ability to re-create my old Demon email address. And for a friend who I know misses his. But obviously no way to extend this to anyone else. Any other email received would have to be binned or bounced, probably binned. :-(

Ah yes, Sony, that major player in the smartphone space, has a new flagship inbound: The Xperia 5 II

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Joke

Re: The big question ...

> is it a fondle slab or a phone? From this report it appears to be neither.

At that length it's more of a fondle plank

Feeling bad about your last security audit? Check out what just happened to the US Department of Interior

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Joke

Parks and Recreation

> A lack of attention to basic security practices cleared the way for outsiders to harvest user credentials, and gain access to the inner-workings of the US government

This is the Department of the Interior they're talking about?

How do you solve 'disruption' at the UK border after Brexit? Let's call Peter Thiel! AI biz Palantir – you're hired

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Joke

Re: Hmm

> Would love to but I'm currently training for one of the highly rewarding careers in the turnip picking industry

You do know that you're not allowed to snigger at the funny-shaped ones until after you have completed your apprenticeship?

0ops. 1,OOO-plus parking fine refunds ordered after drivers typed 'O' instead of '0'

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Facepalm

Re: And this ladies and gentlemen...

> If only there was a way of printing a receipt for a payment, that could be attached to the car as proof of payment.

Indeed. And if that receipt were to be placed somewhere in view, on the car's dashboard perhaps, then there would be no need to enter the vehicle's registration details at all. I wonder if such a handy and convenient process is available already?

That long-awaited, super-hyped Apple launch: Watches, iPads... and one more thing. Oh, actually that's it

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Joke

> To be honest, I don't think I'd be relying on the altitude reading from an iDevice to tell me when to open my parachute...

Yes, but it's so robustly made that just one second after impact it will tell you that your altitude is "minus one feet" and 14 seconds after that it will tell you that your blood oxygen level is 0%.

Chinese database details 2.4 million influential people, their kids, addresses, and how to press their buttons

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Joke

> Did I miss it, but how did they come about getting access / a copy of this database?

They probably just rang Experian and asked.

Personal data from Experian on 40% of South Africa's population has been bundled onto a file-sharing website

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Facepalm

Are you Experianced?

> Despite assurances from Experian in August that it had obtained an Anton Piller court order

That must have come as a complete shock: a proven liar who who previously lied to Experian also lied to the Court about agreeing to abide by the order.

What's that saying? Fool me once...

Nvidia to acquire Arm for $40bn, promises to keep its licensing business alive

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Big Brother

re BINGO

AI “will expand computing to every corner of the globe. Someday, trillions of computers running AI will create a new internet — the internet-of-things — thousands of times bigger than today’s internet-of-people,”

To be read in the voice of Big Brother from the 1984 Apple ad.

Please, somebody shoot him .. or me.

Oracle customers clamor for its hardware. Yup, hardware. It can't build Exadata fast enough

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Happy

Looney Toons

> CEO Safra Catz was very pleased with the past three months

It's almost a shame that they're doing so well. If they were doing badly then the headline would have to be Suffering Safra Catz

That's all folks!

I can 'proceed without you', judge tells Julian Assange after courtroom outburst

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Childcatcher

Re: Blackmailed

>> Yeah, it's a messed up situation. "Co-operate or you'll face time in prison, and your children will need to be put up for adoption as you won't be there to care for them" is both brutal truth and also coercion.

> Sorry, but it's not blackmail, [...] someone would have had to care for his child; in the UK it would be called being "taken into care," right?

There's a big difference between foster-care and adoption.

Google Chrome calculates your autoplay settings so you don't have to - others disagree

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Re: Not a chance

> Well, as noted the article, this might well mean you'll end up downloading a 10 MB GIF animation every time — because some web sites are that shitty.

Chrome could refuse to auto-play those as well.

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Happy

100MB GIFS

The real problem here is that Chrome doesn't auto-block any webpage more than 10 KBytes.

Introducing that as a limit would make the web a much nicer place. :-)

There can be only one: Visual Studio Codespaces 'consolidating' into GitHub Codespaces

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> I can't wait for the inevitable Azure Codespaces rebrand, until it finally becomes Microsoft Codespaces in 2022

You need to leave room for "365" to be squeezed in somewhere.

Digital pregnancy testing sticks turn out to have very analogue internals when it comes to getting results

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Joke

Re: "It's not yours"

> That's one hell of a thing to tell the woman who has just done the test...

It's twins!!

Unexpected victory in bagging area: Apple must pay shop workers for time they spend waiting to get frisked

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Re: the district court had "erred"

> What happens to those that err?

They remain human. Those that go "errrggggh" are zombies though.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... a pair of black holes coalesced resulting in largest gravitational wave we've seen

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Mushroom

Re: One heck of a blip!

> the remaining nine solar masses were converted into energy

This for me was 'one heck of a blip'

[Icon - some way to go still]

CenturyLink L3 outage knocks out web giants and 3.5% of all internet traffic

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Joke

Pah! Who cares about people driving round and round in circles

Who cares about people driving round and round in circles when there is the far more important activity of staring motionless at a chess board to be concerned about?

India and Russia declared joint winners of the Online Chess Olympiad

I wonder how long the connection was lost before anyone realised?

Amazon spies on staff, fires them by text for not hitting secretive targets, workers 'feel forced to work through pain, injuries' – report

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Joke

> "Associate performance is measured and evaluated over a long period of time as we know that a variety of things could impact the ability to meet expectations in any given day or hour. We support people who are not performing to the levels expected with dedicated coaching to help them improve."

Dear Mr. Bezos,

Please can I have a job as a performance coach?

Relevant experience; I first used a whip as an animal trainer in the Circus, back in 1972. But when they made it illegal to use on animals I could only find work as a slave driver in Roman galley-slave re-enactments (obvs only pretending). I'm looking forward to really laying in again - and I don't mean in bed.

What's 2 + 2? Personal info, sniffs Twitter: Anti-doxxing AI goes off the rails, bans tweets with numbers in them

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Joke

What's 2 + 2? Personal info, sniffs Twitter

Ahem. Quite right.

What a time for a TITSUP*: Santander down and out on pre-Bank Holiday payday

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Re: make up your mind

> I very much dislike those weasel words. Is it so hard to be a little bit more honest and direct in public statements?

Sometimes I wonder whether it's worth buying a single share in order to get the right to ask the management: Please list the dates, times and durations for when the customer support line was NOT automatically answering all calls with the message "We're sorry but we're experiencing unusually high volumes of calls at the moment"?

Life with Amazon's fitness band: Upload your half-naked pics to see how fat you'll look without exercise. You now sound stressed – relax!

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Joke

Putting the HAL into HALO

Hello Dave. How are you this morning?

You're sounding stressed.

I'm sorry Dave, but I can't open the pod bay doors. You're too fat to fit through.

Relying on plain-text email is a 'barrier to entry' for kernel development, says Linux Foundation board member

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Re: You don't have to be old to hate HTML emails

Drifting away from your main point...

> If the article author (or their interviewee) meant to convey more, then they did a remarkably poor job of it, hence all the downvotes, I'd wager.

Actually, I think the author has done a great job of bringing home to Microsoft that Slack / Yammer / Teams / SharePoint / Visual Studio Enterprise Edition [1] / whatever simply don't cut it for real projects that require meaningful collaboration. Email is clearly less than ideal but it's still light-years ahead of the alternatives.

[1] Or whatever it's called this month.

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Re: LKML should...

> ... just move from mailing list to usenet newsgroup.

Came here to say the exact same thing. And add that the content could be checked by a bot automatically: patches have to follow a template and any that don't can be flagged by the bot. Maintainers can then filter their feed to see only the group/sub-group for the bit they maintain and only patches that have passed the initial checks. Should at least cut down on the noise.

Maybe the GNU foundation could consider it for a selection of their smaller projects as a trial run?

Be very afraid! British Army might scrap battle tanks for keyboard warriors – report

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> I can see where this will go, the opposing armies will email lethal jokes to each other.

And now for something completely different: Monty Python's The Funniest Joke In The World.

Physical locks are less hackable than digital locks, right? Maybe not: Boffins break in with a microphone

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Facepalm

Re: My lock's fine then

> "make duplicate keys using a photo" That could never happen. Wait...

That story's hilarious. Not so much that they escaped but that the response from the authorities was to remove all copies of the magazine and change the locks.

Changing the locks is clearly necessary as more than one key may have been made. But why remove the magazines? The key in the photo on the cover no longer matches the new locks.

Please stop hard-wiring AWS credentials in your code. Looking at you, uni COVID-19 track-and-test app makers

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Re: Follow the money

> Nucleus Careers, LLC, is a recruiting company focused on machine learning and AI.

They probably supplied the software for free in return for the details of people they will soon be able to target with job ads from their clients.

UK govt reboots A Level exam results after computer-driven fiasco: Now teacher-predicted grades will be used after all

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Too late for one

This lad, Oliver Strode, was the son of one of my wife's work colleagues.

Norfolk's second-greatest cultural export set for return with 3-metre monument in honour of the Turkey Twizzler

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Now with 67-70 per cent real turkey!

> But the remaining 30-odd is still a bit of a grey area.

Brain?

This NSA, FBI security advisory has four words you never want to see together: Fancy Bear Linux rootkit

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Re: "Center"

> So Soup de Jure is a legally mandated starter?

Soup de Jure is what's printed on the menu. Soup de Facto is what's left.

Well, what are we waiting for? Three weeks later, Windows Embedded Standard 7 still didn't have the answer

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Re: The old laptop killer

Also been there. This current laptop has a ring of dots permanently burnt into the display from when it looked like it was going to shutdown but didn't and instead spent all night failing to do something until the battery died.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Winking red supergiants sneezing hot gas 650 light years away

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Joke

Just brilliant

> Dupree compared the behavior to a “sneeze”

Just brilliant. Now even stars are sneezing in our direction without wearing a facemask.

US govt proposes elephant showers for every American after Prez Trump says trickles dampen his haircare routine

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Joke

It's a back-combed mullet - this is why rednecks love him so much.

America's largest radio telescope blind after falling cable slashes 100-foot gash in reflector dish

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Thanks for that link. I hadn't appreciated that one of the main stays had failed. It's a bit concerning that maintenance inspections didn't give warning of a failure at the anchor [pic] in advance.

Uncle Sam says it's perfecting autonomous AI-powered drone, vehicle swarms to 'dominate' battlefields

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Angel

Re: Wow...

> Sorry @AC, but your level of self-awareness probably disqualifies you from writing this code. Position calls for unprincipled and unscrupulous code authors.

I'm recruiting right now for s/w developers to help me write a drone swarming / intelligent behaviour program to allow search and rescue drones to autonomously search areas of sea and beach for missing swimmers, kayakers and the like. The system needs to be able to send a group of drones as a unit to a given area and then automatically carry out a preset search pattern specific to the nature of the humanitarian rescue underway.

I can assure you, that the system is entirely peaceable and will only be used for finding cute dogs and cats lost at the beach.

British Army does not Excel at spreadsheets: Soldiers' newly announced promotions are revoked after sorting snafu

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Joke

Re: Perhaps the person

> who made the cock-up should be demoted to office cleaner?

If the punishment was being made to clean the latrines then that would be a promotion to loo-tenant.

Geneticists throw hands in the air, change gene naming rules to finally stop Microsoft Excel eating their data

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Re: User Error

> so you didn't need two spanners of the same Imperial size to adjust it.

I've never understood why no one produces a standard C and ring spanner set with different sized ends on each spanner for exactly that reason.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe – because we used astrometry: A Saturn-like world hugging its star

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Re: Great success !

> Forty years ago, we were still wondering if ours was the only solar system with planets. Quasars were an unknown object and black holes were a theory.

Quasars were first discovered in the late 50's and named as such in the early 1960's. So nearer to 60 years ago than 40. Time flies when you're having fun!

Apple re-arms the iMac with 10th-gen Intel Core silicon

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Joke

Re: Eh?

> BTW, I've got an Osborne 1 in the garage if anybody wants to make an offer on it.

Two Osborne 1's ?

Wrap it before you tap it? No, say Linux developers: 'GPL condom' for Nvidia driver is laughed out of the kernel

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Joke

Re: The Year of Linux on the desktop

> The spellchecker's workload, however, is slightly greater.

Yeah, he meant to write "a minefield"

Doctor, doctor, got some sad news, there's been a bad case of hacking you: UK govt investigates email fail

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Joke

Not such a wiley Fox

> Fox, who has since stepped down, had an email account (reportedly his personal one) taken over by Russian hackers, who then used it to obtain and release documents about Anglo-American trade talks.

Well, it makes a change from the tradition of 'accidentally' leaving them on the train or a park bench.

Struggling company pleads with landlords to slash rents as COVID-19 batters UK high street. The firm's name? Apple

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Joke

It seems a perfectly reasonable request...

It seems like a perfectly reasonable request - a reduction in store rents to help struggling companies survive seems reasonable.

That's why Apple is considering requests from struggling app developers for a reduction in the percentage taken by the App Store, and I'm sure they'll be making an announcement any day now.

'I'm telling you, I haven't got an iPad!' – Sent from my iPad

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Joke

@Terry 6 - you appear to have plagiarised a post from 'Terry 6'. Mark: 0/10

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Joke

Re: Which is why I always turn off email sigs...

> so I responded with all 36 of mine including a Fork Lift licence, Advanced driving and First Aid

If you don't have a Bronze Swimming Certificate you're nothing.

No wonder Brit universities report hacks so often: Half of staff have had zero infosec training, apparently

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Re: Common Sense

Agreed.

Another way to look at it is to say that it's not a financial 'problem', it's a cost of doing business. Do they want to continue being a University is the question they should be asking themselves. Because ransomware attacks are not going to go away.

On-line courses are naff and boring, but cover the basics quite well. Certainly better than nothing.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin. Hang on, the PDP 11/70 has dropped offline

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> Didn't enjoy having to explain to FM why I'd taken out the electrics though

It was FM that allowed a desk to be (re-)positioned so that the chair was right on top of the floor socket. Entirely their fault.

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Re: Front panels and security keys...

> Until the day the 8 x 4 metal door sign with "Lab" on it no longer stuck properly.

Please tell me that measurement was in feet not inches?

Raytheon techie who took home radar secrets gets 18 months in the clink in surprise time fraud probe twist

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Re: Secure Bag

> In the end they couldn't give them away partly because of how nickable they were but mainly because you really needed a bowler hat to complete the look.

The ones I saw came with a wrist strap so you couldn't forget it on the train. The downside was that if some scrote tried to nick it you'd be dragged along behind them or have your arm ripped off!

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