* Posts by Spasticus Autisticus

151 posts • joined 11 Jan 2014


Facebook sort-of blocks anti-quarantine events – how many folks are actually behind these 'massive' protests online?

Spasticus Autisticus

The bunker is/was in Mistley, the ground site has been developed in to housing recently (haven't looked for a few months to see if its finished yet). I'm not sure the the Secret Bunker signs are there as the 'attraction' isn't open any more. As I live in the third of 'The Three Parishes', I don't know, because I don't 'see' the local signage.

Remember that clinical trial, promoted by President Trump, of a possible COVID-19 cure? So, so, so many questions...

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Quinone

So that's why there are no lemons in the supermarkets! I wanted to use some in cakes and scones I plan to bake.

Broadcom sues Netflix for its success: You’re stopping us making a fortune from set-top boxes, moans chip designer

Spasticus Autisticus

Hopefully Netflix will use Private Eye's response ....

"We refer you to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram."

Drones must be constantly connected to the internet to give Feds real-time location data – new US govt proposal

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Turn it around

That's good Jake, you are a responsible gun owner.

Maybe our gun cases should have a tracker on them too? That way it is possible to 'see' the weapon(s) being moved from safe to case, 'see' case as it travels, then 'see' guns being used at gun club or other shooting locations. The guns 'disappear' back in to case with tracker that then travels back to safe at the registered location, guns or case disappear in to safe - all beautifully logged by the powers that regulates guns.

So easy with today's technology :-)

I fly model aircraft and the new drone laws are threatening my hobby. I also shoot at a local gun club.

Indie VPN WireGuard gets the Torvalds seal of approval with inclusion in Linux kernel 5.6

Spasticus Autisticus

Baby seal

Unlike Serge the Seal of Death


Bollaux - don't seem to be able to make a link, what am I doing wrong?

Space Force is go, go, go! Because we have a child as President of the United States

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Wow.

I have a picture in my mind that this happens, but Trump just puts his hand up to his head and goes OW - despite half his head being shot away.

Am I bad?

Join us on our new journey, says Wunderlist – as it vanishes down the Microsoft plughole

Spasticus Autisticus

Qunts - absolute and unredeemable qunts.

Questions hang over Gatwick Airport after low level drone near-miss report

Spasticus Autisticus

Having an offensive person on your weapon

Conspiracy loons claim victory in Brighton and Hove as council rejects plans to build 5G masts

Spasticus Autisticus

May be worried for the gay frogs more like

Here we go again: US govt tells Facebook to kill end-to-end encryption for the sake of the children

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Forget the kiddies

I was slightly bullied at school, in two cases I remember I retaliated to the surprise of the bully - one who found himself held by the throat backed over a table, the other* kicked hard on the knee so he couldn't catch me as I ran :-) - attack is the best form of defence against bullying.

* I was told he joined the Met. Police, where I suspect he continued to be an arsehole.

Wake me up before you Gogo ... so I can jump out: Kenyan MP takes on aeroplane flatulence

Spasticus Autisticus

The solution

How about emergency pairs of Shreddies kept on board? - https://www.myshreddies.com/

Spasticus - aka Johnny Fart Pants

Are you who you say you are, sir? You are? That's all fine then

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: A funny thing happened to me in July

If the service is working our ISPs don't care about the infrastructure, if its Openreach's kit then contact them direct - search for openreach damage.

I did this when some trees got removed near a new development and our line was hanging down to around 10', I could see a lorry tearing the line down at any moment so called Openreach. Within the hour 2 vans and 3 guys turned up, one went up the pole and gathered the excess cable up. Sorted.

Friends, it's fine. Don't worry about randomers listening to your Skype convos. Microsoft has tweaked an FAQ a bit

Spasticus Autisticus

Feed all these voice things some Professor Stanley Unwin.

Pi in the sky as ESA starts testing encrypted comms on International Space Station

Spasticus Autisticus

I hope they'll be putting a backdoor in for law enforcement

UK PM Johnson spins revolving doors, new digital minister falls through

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Starting a sweep-

'The worst part of the whole situation with Ms Priti Vacant?

She's the MP for Colchester'

Nope - Will Quince is. Priti Patel is MP for Witham (wit-am, not with-am)

Remainers - getting it wrong a lot :-)

Chill a bit @Jemma

We knew it was coming: Bureaucratic cockup triggers '6-month' delay of age verification block on porno in the UK

Spasticus Autisticus

Hilfuckinglarious! What a bunch of useless counts.

Why is there a red line across the screen? Its even a bit wavy.

Blame Canada! Zuckerberg subpoenaed to face Cambridge Anal. probe from Canucks

Spasticus Autisticus

I did ask nicely before but you still want to show the 'borg's face when perhaps Beaker off the Muppets would be better. I don't know if this link will work but maybe this is a reasonable likeness to replace the 'borg's boat - https://browse.startpage.com/do/show_picture.pl?l=english&rais=1&oiu=https%3A%2F%2Fstatic.independent.co.uk%2Fs3fs-public%2Fthumbnails%2Fimage%2F2018%2F05%2F04%2F15%2Fthe-muppets-2.jpg&sp=bc8c9b3de4615b0ede6371dbed8ee081&t=default

Watch Toyota's huge basketball robot shoot a hoop, and read up on how you should think about AI and, erm, Jesus

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: banner image

image from here - https://www.shutterstock.com/g/Mike_Kiev

area screen grab and tineye.com is your friend when wanting to find an image.

Two Arkansas dipsticks nicked after allegedly taking turns to shoot each other while wearing bulletproof vests

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Ferris and Hicks?


I hear a pair of banjos

diddle, ding, ding, dinggg.

Ex-Mozilla CTO: US border cops demanded I unlock my phone, laptop at SF airport – and I'm an American citizen

Spasticus Autisticus
Black Helicopters

Michael Portillo did a program about the best/nicest to do away with people. He experienced hypoxia in an RAF (I think) testing facility used to train pilots to recognise the signs and would have happily died if the instructor hadn't put his mask back on.

A telling part of the program was when he told an American that being executed via hypoxia would be painless and you go out on a high, the American spat out something along the lines of 'I don't want murderers and rapists to die happy, I want them to suffer.'

America! The New World, a developing nation, peopled by Europe's religious nutters, rouges and chancers - with a few good people too no doubt :)

UK Ministry of Justice: Surprise! We tested out biometric tech in prisons and 'visitors' with drugs up their bums ran away

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Is it just me ?

Common misconception - the lovelies were chasing Benny.

Had to go watch few Benny Hill chases on yt - now my face aches :)

Correction: Last month, we called Zuckerberg a moron. We apologize. In fact, he and Facebook are a fscking disgrace

Spasticus Autisticus

I would be grateful if El Reg would stop using a photo of the Facebook head chunt in your stories about the company. We know what the chunt looks like and I try desperately to avoid looking at the ugly muthaf*cker's fisog whenever it is shown. I know its easy to skip past the top image but there's often a side story box where for a few seconds that smug-looking arseh*les face is showing. Surely there is a derogatory fb meme that could be used instead?

Many thanks


MPs tear 'naive' British Army a new one over Capita recruitment farce

Spasticus Autisticus

No need for recruitment campaigns.

Aged 18 - 25? Not got a job? National Service for you then.

Friendly reminder to Drupal admins: Secure your sh!t before latest RCE-holes get you

Spasticus Autisticus

just to say

'Versions of Drupal 8 prior to 8.5.x are end-of-life and do not receive security coverage.'

Version 7.x - 'Supported until November 2021'

Password managers may leave your online crown jewels 'exposed in RAM' to malware – but hey, they're still better than the alternative

Spasticus Autisticus

Stopped reading at ....

.... on a Windows machine ..... - sorry.

Icon for Windows in its current POS form -------------------->

Facebook didn't care if your kids ran up gigantic credit card bills – lawsuit

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: This is similar...

Stevie, like it. Cunts is also one of the few single words that sum up Fuckbook, and in the singular - Fuckerberg.

Did I read somewhere that US companies have rights like a person or something similar? Well, if found guilty, jail FB for 20 years. Owners, directors, management, working from the top down do 1 month each of stir - and not in a cushy executive prison, but not necessarily in a top security hell hole, just a normal mid-range offender prison. A month of that is enough to get people's attention.

Icon for what can't happen soon enough to FB

Google-whisperers beat reCaptcha voice challenge with 90% success rate

Spasticus Autisticus

Slightly OT

When using the wise monkeys it would be great to use all of them - all 4 - https://crissov.github.io/unicode-proposals/fourth-monkey.html - especially when its El Goog that is the subject of the story :-)

TripTank Stump the Goog - https://vimeo.com/96767671 - NSFW

Hole-y ship: ISS 'nauts take a wander to crack Soyuz driller whodunnit

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: New old song

Get fuel, dear Henry, dear Henry

Get fuel, dear Henry, dear Henry, get fuel

How to get fuel dear Lisa, dear Lisa

How to get fuel dear Lisa, dear Lisa, how?

With a Soyuz dear Henry, dear Henry

With a Soyuz dear Henry, dear Henry, a Soyuz

There’s a hole in my Soyuz ……..

Just had to finish the loop off.

Apologies for change in title too - the 'dead rats' is automatically inserted in my replies and I forgot to change it. Might be something to do with NoScript.

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: "as much value as a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory"

Well, warm it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

Well, warm it, dear Henry, dear Henry, and hope!

Taylor's gonna spy, spy, spy, spy, spy... fans can't shake cam off, shake cam off

Spasticus Autisticus

Much prefer get schwifty - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ctK1aoWuqY - not particularly NSFW

Supreme Court raises eyebrows at Google's cozy $8.5m legal deal

Spasticus Autisticus
Paris Hilton

Psst - Kieren, your bias is showing. Tuck it back in out of sight like good journalists do.

Paris, as she likes to let it all hang out too :-)

Congrats from 123-Reg! You can now pay us an extra £6 or £12 a year for basically nothing

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: I want to move away

Express Hosting

Facebook: Up to 90 million addicts' accounts slurped by hackers, no thanks to crappy code

Spasticus Autisticus

To my shame, I have a FB account. I haven't used it for ages and haven't agreed to the new terms post GDPR, so its sort of dormant.

What I'd like to do is delete my FB account but first have FB give me ALL the info they have on me. I've never given them my mobile number but suspect they have it. FB is almost certain to have more info about me then shows on my account which I can delete (deletefacebook).

Is there somewhere that details how to go about getting FB to tell me everything they hold on me? I know it would be pretty much impossible to know they have complied but I would at least like to try.

Oldest swinger in town, Slackware, notches up a quarter of a century

Spasticus Autisticus

I looked out my February 1996 PCW Interactive CD that has Slackware Professional Linux on it (v2.0 I think), the CD still runs but I doubt I'll try to make two install floppies to try and install it. This was my introduction to Linux and the start of my move away from Windows, which is at least 99% complete.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a giant alien space cigar? Whatever it is, boffins are baffled

Spasticus Autisticus

Werepires - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE80Mdv7eTs

Not particularly NSFW - depends where you work :-)

Norwegian tourist board says it can't a-fjord the bad publicity from 'Land of Chlamydia' posters

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: "Norwegians are not good at using condoms."


giggity :-)

PETA calls for fish friendly Swedish street signage

Spasticus Autisticus
Paris Hilton

Mmmm, tasty bit of 'Atlantic' salmon for ocean day lunch, bet it was reared in a cage in the Atlantic somewhere just off the British coast.

PETA are brilliant! We need nutters to laugh at. Paris because its a bit fishy.

Britain's new F-35s arrive in UK as US.gov auditor sounds reliability warning klaxon

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Reliability?

Four were due, 5 take off, no problems with the 4 due to make the crossing so the spare turned back.

Microsoft sinks another data centre with Natick 2

Spasticus Autisticus

Are ya ready kids?

Aye, Aye captain!

I can't heeeaaar yooouuu!



Who lives in a datapod under the sea?

Gunge Bob Server Pants!


A pathetic attempt I know but I'm not a creative type, may be someone cleverer can do the whole song?

Apologies to Stephen Hillenburg & Derek Drymon

Chief EU negotiator tells UK to let souped-up data adequacy dream die

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Irish abortion referendum.

EEC, I think - before my time. Economic partnership, great idea, all the rest of the United States of Europe shit was where it went wrong.

Icon for the EU - which is were its heading, unfortunately, unless the EU 'leaders' get their shit together.

There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

Spasticus Autisticus

Brilliant! I'm out fishing with a young person (17) today, he has no idea about anything. Too much fun sometimes.

Windows 10 Spring Creators Update team explains the hold-up: You little BSOD!

Spasticus Autisticus

17:13 BST

Installed and updates in - just shy of an hour, beat that Windows!

A few tweaks and other packages to go in, perhaps half-an-hour and it'll be ready to go back to its owner.

Spasticus Autisticus

"Busy with factory reinstall of a Win10 Lenovo laptop - it got bogged down for some reason. Slow to start, slow to get the desktop ready for user interaction."

Busy upgrading Windows 10 Lenovo laptop to Linux Mint @ 16:16 BST - will post back when installed and fully updated (get ready for a red face when it goes horribly wrong :-) )

Car-crash television: 'Excuse me ma'am, do you speak English?' 'Yes I do,' replies AMD's CEO

Spasticus Autisticus

Who and who? 2016 WTF! Were no races exiting (sic) in 2017?

F1 - 1 race in 10 interesting?* Regular occurrence

IndyCar - 1 race in 10 boring? Sometimes

* And it doesn't matter how many times Ben or David say 'interesting' during their commentary - it mostly isn't :-)

Spasticus Autisticus

"F1 yawn. MotoGP, rally cars, sidecars or the hillbilly OZ V8s offer far more entertainment" - add IndyCar to that list. There's more excitement in the 24heurs du Mans than an F1 race - and has been for years.

After failing to find F1 highlights in Sky's EPG (a ten minute program in reality) on anything other than Sky F1 I've decided to not bother with F1 any more. Having watched the last two IndyCar races live, both with plenty of excitement, that's what I'll now watch for fast racing.

Why do French presidents of the FIA always fuck up motorsport, Jean-Marie Bastard killed Group C for a decade or so.

What the @#$%&!? Microsoft bans nudity, swearing in Skype, emails, Office 365 docs

Spasticus Autisticus
Paris Hilton

This could be my fault - sorry.

I have a friend that runs a scrapyard and one day he called to say the computer he uses to inform the DVLA of cars he'd scrapped had been upgraded to Windows 10 and he couldn't access the DVLA site any more. I tried all methods I could think of to get IE, Edge, Firefox, etc. to connect to the DVLA but nothing worked so I rolled back to Win7. I was offered a window to tell MS why this PC had been rolled back, I wrote what I thought of MS and Win10 which made my scrapyard owning friend blush. I did change it to be less offensive but as we're not sure that everything we type isn't recorded by MS - even if we delete it - MS may have been subject to some obnoxious abuse from me.

Sorry again.

The first line of this song sum up MS - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtuVBPwzstM - NSFW or MS. Paris because .....

You'll like this: Facebook probed by US watchdog amid privacy storm

Spasticus Autisticus

Mobile tracking

Facebook has never been on my Android phone, I've never visited Facebook on my phone, I've never given Facebook my mobile number, but .... I visited a shop one day and later that day when checking a group facebook page a message popped up from the shop saying something along the lines of 'thank you for visiting us, if you have any questions just contact us.' I nearly fell off my chair - how the hell did Facebook link this together? My WiFi would have been on - I now try to remember to switch it off when out.

The death of Facebook cannot come quickly enough, although it is too late for our data. It would be hard to believe anyone that said 'yes, we have deleted all the data we hold on you'.

Where do we stand as regards the Data Protection Act, or whatever it's called these days, with the likes of FB, MS, Google, etc., etc.?

Farts away! Plane makes unscheduled stop after man won't stop guffing

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: it is not something you do deliberately!

Hi Steve, nearly fell off my chair at the mention of my name - different Tony M though, I have no kids.

I have Crohn's Disease and at times can fart for Britain, though by the sound of it I'd have been trounced by your Tony. Farts on 'planes is the best fun :-) Icon for when I have explosive diarrhoea - hot, hot, hot!

Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

Spasticus Autisticus


I couldn't eat it.

I'd take it to the Italian Embassy and suggest that Italy declare WAR on Morrisons for besmirching the virtue of the venerable pizza.

FBI slams secret Nunes memo alleging Feds spied on Team Trump for political reasons

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: This is getting fun to watch ...

I can hear those banjos again.



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