* Posts by Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

114 posts • joined 9 Jan 2014

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Ex Netflix IT ops boss pocketed $500k+ in bribes before awarding millions in tech contracts

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

The makings of a great South African politician

He'd be right at home among the country's current ruling regime who have made an art form out of corruption.

Quixotic Californian crusade to officially recognize the hellabyte and hellagram is going hella nowhere

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

While they're at it

We could include the amazeballsmetre, the cowabungagram and the yolobyte to this selection of prefixes based on words nobody with half a brain uses anymore.....

Theranos destroyed crucial subpoenaed SQL blood test database, can't unlock backups, prosecutors say

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

The Hilary Clinton Defense

"Did you wipe the server?"

"What, you mean with a cloth? "

Laughter ensues and everyone is forgiven.

Deloitte's Autonomy auditor 'lost objectivity' when looking at Brit software firm's disputed books, says regulator

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Toilette and Douche again

Deloitte's escapades in South Africa are well documented, having been implicated in such recent financial scandals surrounding companies Steinhoff and Tongaat Hullett as well as the state power company ESKOM. Amazing how these turds are allowed to continue operating despite their flirtations, and sometimes outright love affairs, with graft and corruption.

University ordered to stop running women-only job ads

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Imagine that

Being told that exclusion based on gender is discriminatory. Next thing they'll be told is that basing it on race is also discriminatory. You'd think a uni would know better.

CSI: Xiaomi. Snappy Redmi Note 9 Pro shows every fingerprint, but at least you get bang for your buck

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: !!Stupid Question Alert!!

It doesn't matter which president is in charge. Crony capitalism is rampant on both sides of the floor.

Maybe there is hope for 2020: AI that 'predicts criminality' from faces with '80% accuracy, no bias' gets in the sea

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

So Lombroso was wrong?

Who knew?

PC printer problems and enraged execs: When the answer to 'Hand over that floppy disk' is 'No'

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Ah IT 'managers'

Nothing has changed in 20 years of IT management. I still fume over our It dept's idea of providing a fit-for-purpose pc to our graphic designer. 8GB of RAM running Windows 7 32-bit. Despite my repeated requests, they ignored the fact that it never worked well and was slower than frozen molasses and refused to upgrade the OS to 64-bit. 10 years later in the same organisation and they are still useless.

AI snatches jobs from DJs and warehouse workers, plus OpenAI and PyTorch sittin' in a tree, AI, AI, AI for you and me

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

WKRP in Cincinnati predicted this

I seem to remember an episode where a glimpse into the future of radio showed just Herb Tarlek sitting alone at a desk while machines ran the rest of the radio station.......

So you locked your backups away for years, huh? Allow me to introduce my colleagues, Brute, Force and Ignorance

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Alas

as more computer parts go solid state, including hard drives, the less effective percussive maintenance becomes, a sad indictment of our throwaway society.

5G signals won't make men infertile, sighs UK ad watchdog as it bans bonkers scary poster

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Just in case....

I'll be wearing my tinfoil codpiece from now on.

Googlers fired after tracking colleagues working on US border cop projects. Now, if they had monetized that stalking...

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

That only applies to the plebs

Not Google's own people.

We lose money on repairs, sobs penniless Apple, even though we charge y'all a fortune

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Reliability optional

“Apple has spent time and money to make Apple devices incredibly user friendly" but apparently not very reliable.

IBM, Microsoft and Linux Foundation link arms to fight patent trolls with 'multimillion' scheme

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Didn't Microsoft fund SCO in its Linux patent fight?

Asking for a friend.

When the IT department speaks, users listen. Or face the consequences

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

My current organisation is like that

My boss stores all of his work on his laptop. The inevitable happened. Now he has to convince our IT dept to somehow rescue his files from a dead drive. It maybe possible but probably won't be cheap. I have been telling him for 8 years to store his stuff on the server but no, he knows better......

For years we stored valuable HD corporate video footage on a 2TB external hard drive because our IT dept couldn't be arsed to give us some server room to store the files. Eventually I had the CEO threaten them and all of a sudden 5TB or dedicated regularly backed up storage appeared for our dept overnight.

Two things I hate the most is when nobody listens and when I end up being right because nobody listened.

Boffins don bad 1980s fashion to avoid being detected by object-recognizing AI cameras

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

I have a crazy idea

How about a shirt that has a huge QR code that tricks the surveillance system into visiting a web site that then dumps a metric butt ton of trojans and stuff on it?

WeWork's Meetup slaps RSVP fees on events ‒ then tells everyone not to panic amid backlash

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Can't imagine why WeWork is tanking

and execs are jumping ship.....

In a touching show of solidarity with the NBA and Blizzard, Apple completely caves to China on HK protest app

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

I'm sure the Chinese bots are lurking here

One can acquire a surprisingly large number of down votes ihere f you happen to criticise any of these companies or China.

Hey, I wrote this neat little program for you guys called the IMAC User Notification Tool

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Always boggled my mind

Why couldn't they just call themselves Kerr Wayne and save themselves all the embarrassment? Perhaps Mr Wayne's insistence on having his name first summed up the kind of person he really was......

Here's that hippie, pro-privacy, pro-freedom Apple y'all so love: Hong Kong protest safety app banned from iOS store

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Hopefully history will be the judge of Apple and Co

Its judgement should be harsh.

Two years ago, 123-Reg and NamesCo decided to register millions of .uk domains for customers without asking them. They just got the renewal reminders...

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

'Tis a scam as old as the hills

That one's been around since before the Internet was a thing only back then it was for some bogus listing in a fax directory - send random companies something that looks like an invoice for something they didn't order and more often than not they were paid....

Our sales were to genuine customers, Autonomy ex-CEO Mike Lynch insists in court

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: I don't know if he's a crook or not, but...

Considering the number of recent corruption scandals involving Toilette and Douche, PrickswithCalculators and KPMG in South Africa I'd say you'd be better off trusting a Nigerian Prince.

Front-end dev cops to billing NSA $220,000 for hours he didn't work

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Epic Chutzpah

It's government so people think its a pushover and that no-one checks. That perception persists even though technology has advanced to the point where such activity is easy and quick to detect.

This weekend you better read those ebooks you bought from Microsoft – because they'll be dead come early July

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Solution

Buy book. Use Calibre to strip out DRM and backup book. Use airplane mode on reader. Enjoy years of reading pleasure safe in the knowledge that not only can the distributor not take what you paid for, you can convert to any format you want.

Oblivious 'influencers' work on 3.6-roentgen tans in Chernobyl after realising TV show based on real nuclear TITSUP

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

"Kylie Jenner threw a Handmaid’s Tale themed birthday party.

Because nothing says “fun” like dressing up as women who are habitually raped and denied basic human rights."

Because nothing says delusional like SJWs who cannot differentiate between fantasy and reality.

Former HP CEO Léo Apotheker tells court he didn't read Autonomy's latest accounts before fated $11bn buyout

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Makes you wonder

What did he think his duties as a CEO were?

Apple hands keys for retail to HR boss amid flagging iPhone sales

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Put HR person in charge of sales

What could go wrong?

Euro eggheads call it: Facebook political ads do change voters' minds – and they worked rather well for Trump in 2016

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Trump was elected...

because the alternative was a thousand times worse.....

A basement of broken kit, zero budget – now get the team running

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

I concur

I was once accused by an underling of suffering from sperm retention headaches which caused my continuously foul moods. Looking back I think she was right.

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: HMSO

Sounds like a 6 month gig my son had just after leaving school. His job was to set up iPads for use in various schools around the country. Since this was accomplished in bulk by a suitably equipped computer, he managed to get halfway through his 6 month allocation of iPads in about 1 month. His boss told him to slow down or else he would end up finishing long before the end of the contract period and would only get paid for the time he worked. Needless to say he took the advice and stretched the job out to its required maximum.

Alaskan borough dusts off the typewriters after ransomware crims pwn entire network

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: 1st rule of an IT system...

It must have been fun watching Millennials try to figure out how to use a typewriter....

Your phone may be able to clean up snaps – but our AI is much better at touching up, say boffins

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Am I the only one...

At least they didn't choose to call it "nanotechnology". That one has been done to death.

The strange tale of an energy biz that suddenly became a blockchain upstart – and $1.4m now forfeited in sold shares

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Where have we seen this before?

The people throwing money at anything with blockchain in the name are probably the descendants of the ones who, 20 years ago, threw money at anything with dotcom in the name.

Google kills AdWords!

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Be thankful for the lack of symbolic explanation

Humans can be exposed only to so many paragraphs containing words such as SYNERGY and MATRIX and ENGAGEMENT and TOP OF MIND and PARADIGM and GOING FORWARD before their cerebral cortex shuts down and they die.

Creep travels half the world to harass online teen gamer… and gets shot by her mom – cops

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

@Elmer Phud

Really? You make this into a race issue? How about you go eff yourself?

Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Ah FUBAR

A boss i had long ago accused me of suffering from CRAFT disease. Can't Remember A F@#$ing Thing"

Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

My first experience with a circular saw

saw me end up slicing right through the power cable. Thankfully tripped the house power but there was a loud bang.

‘I broke The Pentagon’s secure messaging system – and won an award for it!’

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

And that, children, is how your grandpa started the war in Afghanistan.

39 episodes of 'CSI' used to build AI's natural language model

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

"I'll create a GUI interface...

...using visual basic to track the killers IP address". I half expected them to include this priceless quote from CSI NY.

Microsoft's foray into phones was a bumbling, half-hearted fiasco, and Nadella always knew it

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Had a Samsung phone running Windows Mobile 6

Freakin' awful piece of crap that was unresponsive and equipped with a brain fart version of IE. Not sure if I should blame Microsoft or Samsung for that piece 'o shite but it put me off Windows phones permanently.

Monkey selfie case settles for a quarter of future royalties

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

People Extorting Toonies for Apes

I leave now, eh?

Private sub captain changes story, now says reporter died, was 'buried at sea' – torso found

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

The Gilligan's Island Theme

+1 for that

Google diversity memo: Web giant repudiates staffer's screed for 'incorrect assumptions about gender'

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

We all know "diversity" is bollocks

“A diverse mix of voices leads to better discussions, decisions, and outcomes for everyone.” Actually they lead to the censorship of those with alternative but equally valid viewpoints. You just have to observe 3rd Wave feminists and BLM in action to know that this is true.

Uber wants your top tips to mend its rotten image

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Tips

Never play cards with a man called Doc

Never eat at a place called Mom's

Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own

Teen girl who texted boyfriend to kill himself guilty of manslaughter

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Stupid but? @Version 1.0

- "In the USA, color (sic) has everything to do with it - we just pretend that it doesn't." -

No, in the USA, colour has nothing to do with it and you just pretend that it does.

Sharp claims Hisense reverse-ferreted its US telly licence deal

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

So has every other "name" brand

I can't think of a formerly high quality "name" brand that hasn't sold its soul to the cheap knock offs. Pioneer? Sansui? Akai? Oh how you have fallen....

US copyright law shake-up: Days of flinging stuff on the web and waiting for a DMCA may be over

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Lawyers arguing for money over sound and light waves

I suffered through that lump of crap not knowing that it was directed by M Night Iamasham. That detail alone would have stopped me from wasting precious hours watching what must have been an April Fools joke that got out of hand.

User loses half of a CD-ROM in his boss's PC

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Copywriter as IT Support

It was faster but the data didn't always reach the intended target.

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Copywriter as IT Support

Way way back in my younger days as an ad agency copywriter (sometime in the very early '90s), I made the mistake of mentioning my hobby of working on PCs (or rather PC; being my personal one at home that I regularly upgraded and modded as needed for the purposes of gaming and such). Management saw this as a way of getting IT support without the hassle of actually hiring an IT person so somehow the job of regularly telling people to hit reboot; asking them if they actually turned their PC on when they complain that their machine is not doing anything; asking them if they turned the printer on when they complain that the printer is not doing anything; and refilling the ink tanks of the inkjet printer until the cartridges fell to pieces because management was too cheap to buy replacements, fell on me.

The printer was shared using a print sharing dongle which rarely worked properly. More often than not it was easier to copy the file to stiffy and take it to the accounting department where the kind bookkeeping lady, who had a dedicated printer, would print the files out.

My favourite was the company's network, called FrisbeeNet because it consisted of copying files to a stiffy disk and hurling it across the room to the recipient.

Good times.

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