* Posts by Crafty volt 7

26 publicly visible posts • joined 17 Jan 2014

Huawei to Hell: Embattled Chinese comms giant said to be revving up for a move into the electric vehicle market

Crafty volt 7

Decades? It's here already. My Tesla drives me to work every day while I catchup on my 40 winks on the back seat.

Scale Computing hauls in cash bundle from Lenovo and pals

Crafty volt 7

Re: Hope

26 actually..... but I'm splitting hairs

HPE buying SimpliVity is like a 'unicorn barbecue' – HCI boss man

Crafty volt 7

The Horn is mine!!

Traditional array all-flash retrofits knock XtremIO off top sales rung

Crafty volt 7

Re: Nutanix rocks what?

Plenty of my customers doing pretty well with it. Huge OPEX savings.

I love my CFO community....


We suck? No, James Dyson. It is you who suck – Bosch and Siemens

Crafty volt 7

Re: Labelling

hear hear!! ditto

Crafty volt 7

Deutsche Cheats

Hel Ja!! The Krauts always cheat with that aspect of certification and testing, I have my Audi A3 TDI standing idle in my garage to prove it....

If James says we have a sucktion problem we have a sucktion problem.

What I want to know is who sucks the most??

Microsoft redfaced after Bing translation cockup enrages Saudis

Crafty volt 7


Their camels offend me something horrid..

EU verdict: Apple received €13bn in illegal tax benefits from Ireland

Crafty volt 7


I'll take them on the run baby!!

VW floats catalytic converter as fix for fibbing diesels

Crafty volt 7

Fecal decay

They need to also replace the airflow unit, sensors, computer control ECU, exhaust components and do top end engine repairs gratis as well as give customers 75% of their cash back as I am sure none of them sought a SAAB 96 equivalent gutless pollutant as daily transport.

Its actually cheaper if they just give the current owners their money back and sell these cars to Brazil....

Crafty volt 7

Tits on a bull

Neither the EPA or VAG have the credibility or the required competence to adjudicate or decide if this fix is sane or reasonable .

The one cheats and the other behaves like a retarded bush pig high from sniffing too much bostick glue.

Why don't we leave the engineering verdict to the University folks at Bern in Switzerland?

Based on the unbelievable industry "self governing" expectation from the EPA, we have been left in no doubt whatsoever that they are graced with the collective IQ of a couple of dead ferrets.

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The gargantuan Gatsby

Crafty volt 7

Re: food hygene people!

You need to note the ingredients..... That peri peri sauce is hot. Not only that, it contains an anzyme that sends a pretty strong "vacate the colon" message to the brain. You therefore are smart if sitting on a ceramic throne whilst consuming said Gatsby delicacy. If you stay in the Taj in Cape Town they can cater to this spectacle with a suitable tray and gas mask clad butler bearing copious amounts of suitable Namibian Breweries libations to put out the fire that will be raging from your lips to your nether orifice....it goes without saying that foregoing "hygene" comes with the territory and scout paradigms prevail (be prepared)....haggle over the finest soft quality asswipe when you check in and just mention your culinary ambitions while pressing a few benjy's into said hotel chappies paw....they will light up with a deep and knowing understanding....

'No safe level' booze guidelines? Nonsense, thunder stats profs

Crafty volt 7

Statistical facts

politically correct do gooder fascists don't like reality to impinge on their fantasy of how they think reality should be. It's long been a solid statistical fact that moderate consumption of wines and such results in much longer life expectancy rates. Unfortunately this upsets the Apple cart in the do-gooder insanity stream somewhat.......a disease most inhabitants of the muddy island seem to suffer from...

Facebook Messenger: All your numbers are belong to us

Crafty volt 7

Facebook Messenger

Possibly THE worst messenger app I ever tried to use, useless on android, iOS and Macbook.

Z can want a lot of things, but that dream he ain't ever realizing....

Cisco, HP, NetApp, SimpliVity and Springpath

Crafty volt 7

Cisco to buy SpringPath?

I think it more likely Cisco will buy another startup in the storage space, they already had good looks at Nutanix and Simplivity and more recently SpringPath.

Their failure with Whiptail does leave one wondering why they can't see the leaf from the tree, so to speak...In this particular market segment.

Cisco should just acquire IBM and put all the fish flapping on the sandy shore antics to bed....

Be marvelously entertaining this SpringPath acquisition....what with them jibbing and jabbing with Simplivity about potential partnerships et al.....I do see heads rolling on this one. I wonder if I should corner the world market for guillotines now? GaaS anyone? (Guillotine as a Service).....

How Seagate lost $171m before flogging off EVault

Crafty volt 7

Name changes

Dunno why execs continually change names of products and brands as its almost certain to be a failure. eVault was a brand, changing it to i365 took it right off the radar of most people.

Stupid idea, stupid antics and stupid financial outcomes can all be happily associated with brand name changes.

Rule no 1 of brand name management, never change the brand name...

For proof see what happened to NCR when it changed its name from NCR to AT&T Global Information Systems or what happened to Cabletron when it changed its name to Enterasys.

NCR is the only AT&T Subsidiary to get its name back and its sales and recognition were restored almost as instantly as they changed the name back.

Spin Offs like Teradata and Commvault work, but they are themselves recognized as a brand.

As a shareholder, I feel that name changes can best be dealt with by old french technology called a guillotine for anyone making such dire suggestions that impact a business to it's own detriment.

One has to regard such specimens partaking in such lunacy as having the collective IQ of a deceased ferret...

Silicon Valley now 'illegal' in Europe: Why Schrems vs Facebook is such a biggie

Crafty volt 7

EU's Spring has finally sprung

Hope CIO's in the EU have cash for the large crater this can make in the average annual IT budget if anyone even takes this half seriously...

Wonder how a new chain of Nut Houses would cater to the obvious demand for mental health services in the EU?

EMC customer? You can only buy from third-party sales bods now

Crafty volt 7

Cheesy Moon

We all know the moon is made of cheese you morons!

Nimble nearly nudging $200m: Claims all-Flash grunt with partial iron

Crafty volt 7
Thumb Down

Er... You are kidding right? What's Cisco going to do with Invicta? No HA = Tier 4 use at best, SSD Flash for Tier 4? Surely thou je$t!!!

Watch: Kids slam Apple as 'BORING, the whole thing is BORING'

Crafty volt 7

The 70's

Didn't get the 70's!? Splutter! Shock!! horror!!

'Twas about the hair, nappy pins through facial targets, metal objects with needles attached to various appendages and the exploration of a new depth of stupid in a futile attempt to out IQ dead ferrets....

EMC feels burn of declining demand for enterprise storage

Crafty volt 7


It's merely a lull before the new IT paradigm bites the ass of naysayers

Barclays warns freelance techies of DOUBLE DIGIT rate cut

Crafty volt 7

Re: Meanwhile...

They always did believe if you pay peanuts you get monkeys. The Simian pool must be getting thin over there for this step!

Imprisoned Norwegian mass murderer says PlayStation 2 is 'KILLING HIM'

Crafty volt 7

I have a ZX81

Plays pong great!!

Just needs a 1977 TV to realize nirvana ..

It's Satya! Microsoft VP Nadella named CEO as Bill Gates steps down

Crafty volt 7

Mega Hard

Change company name to Mega Hard

Trash that stupid Windows 8.x GUI

Start selling Windows on Store for $39 up to $99 for ultimate

Start selling office apps for $29 each

Start selling Windows server STD from $69 through $99

Watch the world turn Mega Hard

Cisco execs blindside themselves with flash-splash Invicta UCS array

Crafty volt 7

Re: Clarification

Very persistent

Apple plans to waggle iNormous 4½-incher in fanbois' faces

Crafty volt 7


It's a Phablet OK! Mostly cause it's fab. Chinese gentlemans dimensions a lot lesser than UK btw...

9,000 heads to roll at Dell? Tosh. It'll all go down in Feb and it's THOUSANDS more - insiders

Crafty volt 7

Good Riddance

Dell lost its way in 1999 with all of its grandiosely stupid ploys to get into Enterprise computing and a host of really insane acquisitions along the way.

Won't miss them or their people at all and remain convinced it's the best thing for the Computer industry since the abacus went with Shiny red beads...