* Posts by DJSpuddyLizard

115 publicly visible posts • joined 2 Jan 2014


BOFH: Where do you think you are going with that toner cartridge?


Re: Too Often...

I hear GB also used to have strict controls on currency, like this:


Thank you, FAQ chatbot, but if I want your help I'll ask for it


Re: I'm not so old that I can't scroll downwards without assistance

Wait, you're not enraptured with joy by "discoverable" interfaces?


Re: HR Tool could be used as an anti- pattern - or how not to design a tool.

Well, I did a rewrite of an app at work, and the web interface was quite nice, if I may say so.

After deployment and running for months, I had an occasion to visit a remote office where they used it.

They all had 4:3 flat screen monitors years after anyone had stopped making them.

Turns out the users thought I wanted them to have to keep scrolling left and right all the time to see the whole page....

The managers had OKed everything, but never thought to mention the non-widescreen monitors in that office (with 50% of the users!)

Microsoft makes tweaks to Windows 11 Start Menu for Insiders but stops short of mimicking Windows 10


Re: previous versions


Windows 8 and onwards (whatever that hideous GUI is called) was designed to function on phones and tablets, because remember, Microsoft was going to completely take over those segments?

What they forgot was that 90% of their users had desktops.

These were not changes to benefit the majority of users...

Windows what? PC makers have bigger things on their minds


Looked at 11, but my processors are just one generation too old.

Can't imaging my corporate overlords wanting to buy 20,000 new PCs either.

Trial of Theranos boss Elizabeth Holmes begins: She plans to say her boyfriend and COO Balwani abused her


Hopefully she'll rot in jail for a while

Beloved pixel pusher Paint prepares to join Notepad for updates from Microsoft Store


Next up in the Microsoft Store ---- Edlin!

Dutch Gateway store was kept udder wraps for centuries until refit dug up computing history


Ah.... Gateway.

I remember 1998? 1999? (well, somewhere around then) - working Gateway tech support from a skyscraper in downtown Houston, trying to convince callers that we were in rural farmland in the great wesern plains....

I'm trying to remember if we got points for getting users to reboot, or if that was just a drinking game we did on the night shift.

Web pages a little too style over substance? Behold the Windows 98 CSS file



Usability went out the door with Windows 8

Yep, that why on the machine I built last month, I installed Windows 7.

Asus Motherboard with Ryzen 2700, zooms along nicely.

French pensioner ejected from fighter jet after accidentally grabbing bang seat* handle


Re: Double ejection

If this had happened in the US, he'd have sued the Air Force not just for any medical bills but for all sorts of damages and possible aftercare further down the line

And the USAF would have counter-sued for damage to their plane.

The mod firing squad: Stack Exchange embroiled in 'he said, she said, they said' row


Re: Is this just an English thing ?

"plurality mismatch detected."

Thou art hereby banned from using "your" for singular second person. Thou must use "thine" instead.

Seriously, if singular "their" and "they" was ok in the 14th century, then it's fine now.

BOFH: It's not just an awesome app, it'll look great on my Insta. . a. a. AAAARRRRRGGH


Re: You'd have thought...

My plan in central Texas:

Winter - (January & February) Set temp to 22F

Spring - (March & April) Set temp to 21C

Summer (April-October) Keep temp at 21C

Autumn (November & December) Keep temp at 21C

Owner of Smuggler's Inn B&B ordered to put up a sign warning guests not to cross into Canada


Re: Both sides?

My favorite was on Christmas tree lights - "For use only inside or outside".

Asus: Yo dawg, we hear a million of you got pwned by a software update. So we got you an update for the update


"Now Asus has emitted a non-spyware-riddled version of Live Update for people to install on its notebooks, which includes extra security features "

What, like a checksum?

Who needs malware? IBM says most hackers just PowerShell through boxes now, leaving little in the way of footprints


Re: Default for .ps1 files is edit

Does anyone really think hackers leave them with a .ps1 extension?

I've seen recently a lot of ".avi" files that are really shortcuts containing powershell code to execute program x from an internet location.

US kids apparently talking like Peppa Pig... How about US lawmakers watching Doctor Who?


I used to use Peppa Pig to inform my then-four-year-old about the realities of living in England (she's British-American but we live in the USA.) such as visiting the beach in the snow, rainy weather, finding loud characters who sound like Brian Blessed everywhere, etc.

Only plebs use Office 2019 over Office 365, says Microsoft's weird new ad campaign


Re: Office 365

Office 365.2425 by my calculations...

Microsoft decides Internet Explorer 10 has had its fun: Termination set for January 2020


Don't worry, soon Edge will be Chrome underneath.

'Numpty new boy' lets the boss take fall for mailbox obliteration


Re: 100% honesty 90% of the time

"blame fluctuations in the Earth's magnetic field."

I once worked hell desk and had a corporate client who often called complaining about network connectivity, Our team soon deduced it was caused by thunderstorms at the client office, but it's hard to tell people that on the phone, even when true.

Germany has a problem with the entire point of Amazon's daft Dash buttons – and bans them


The Dash buttons obvious already contain WiFi circuitry and some processing power.

Add an LED display. When you press then button, it shows the price, press again to buy within 30 seconds.


Re: @doublelayer -- A simple idea

Those little annoying bastards who seem to be writing all of the "Secret Questions" that websites use nowadays to prove you are you

And some of them are case-sensitive, just to make it harder. Was it McKenzie or Mckenzie or did I type mckenzie ?

Could you speak up a bit? I didn't catch your password


Re: Airport facial recognition

Men with beards break the UK border facial recognition s/w; how can that be a problem?

It was a problem for the Victorians, and is still a problem.

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight


Frazzles are not suitable for humans

Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner


Re: battered?

Finally, turn the heat back up, return the lardons to the pan and stir gently a few times, making sure any remaining water has evaporated. For a really festive touch, mix in a few sliced marrons glacés before serving.

You missed the step where you remove the sprouts before serving.

On the seventh anniversary of Steve Jobs' death, we give you 7 times he served humanity and acted as an example to others


Re: Classic Reg, keeping it classy

Vitriol I've always imagined in tastes like really, really oversteeped tea.

I thought it was a cross between cod liver oil, motor oil, and goat cheese.

A story of M, a failed retailer: We'll give you a clue – it rhymes with Charlie Chaplin


Re: Ironic, isn't it?

Westcliffe-on-sea -

they did. That was the reason I liked to go visit me Gran in the mid to late 80s - it was the only Maplin store I knew of - and I loved the catalogue.

How an over-zealous yank took down the trading floor of a US bank


Re: Unplugging the keyboard = kernel panic ?

Because when confronted with a message on a screen, people's understanding becomes astonishingly literal.

I thought that as IT people, we're all astonishingly literal anyway? Specifications don't really work otherwise.

Card-stealing code that pwned British Airways, Ticketmaster pops up on more sites via hacked JS



Yeah, and this is why if you're concerned about security, or even functionality, you don't link to dynamic third-party libraries. Third party libraries that you don't have locally are subject to change.

Did people not pay attention two years ago, when removing 'left-pad' crashed Node?


No need to code your webpage yourself, says Microsoft – draw it and our AI will do the rest


Re: Hilarious

"there'll be a lot of web developers suddenly out of work"

That seems rather doubtful. There's a lot more to web development than just arranging the visuals.

Yes, but those "web developers" whose sole qualification is three weeks at a Web Boot Camp will be soon having to be selling off their kidneys.


But don't get too comfy. You'll be on the Help Desk soon

But the Help Desk have all been replaced with an AI chatbot that really only knows to tell people to restart their devices.

No, eight characters, some capital letters and numbers is not a good password policy



Funnily enough, no, infosec bods aren't mad keen on W. Virginia's vote-by-phone-app plan


Re: There is so much to be wary of here . . .

Once I got to the point where the name of the app was given (Voatz), my mind just shut off.

Why do I have pictures of stoats in my mind?

And on the radio, they're trying to convince me to mispronounce 'Disqus" as if it had an extra S on the end.

Mind you, they also promoted an elder assist program that helped with "lighthouse keeping" instead of "light housekeeping"

The internet's very own Muslim ban continues: DNS overlord insists it can freeze dot-words


Re: Dear ICANN,

Don't create a new TLD unless it is 100% crystal clear from the get-go, beyond any question of debate, who it should belong to.....

Similarly I have no objection to creating ".disney' or '.pepsi' if you really must, though I think it's a shocking waste of everyone's time.

You're actually contradicting yourself.

Have you ever visited Nissan.com ? There's an interesting tale....

Here's why AI can't make a catchier tune than the worst pop song in the charts right now


Re: I'm actually surprised that it works on raw samples at all

I actually think that moving to raw samples is a rather bad thing to do

Exactly. They're already making it harder. I don't go around humming a pop song because I remember the Ronkhorn synth had extra reverb in it, I remember the song because of the melody.

Perhaps if they'd started with the glaringly obvious idea of just using more source material they could do better.

Finally, San Francisco cleans up the crap from its streets – yes, all those fscking scooters


I'd heard of them, but I didn't realize how obnoxious these are till I saw them in person yesterday in Nashville. A required safety feature should be for them to beep loudly every five seconds, at least I'll have time to switch my brolly to "dismount the idiot" mode when walking down the sidewalk.

Microsoft patches problematic OS to deal with SSD woes



I just updated my Windows 7 laptop to WIn 10, and now it seems to take about 20 minutes to Restart.

That's for the shutting-down part, not the starting-up part.

Nvidia quickly kills its AMD-screwing GeForce 'partner program' amid monopoly probe threat


Re: Debranding and forcing AMD out of gaming is anti-competitive and monopolistic.

ASUS was selling BOTH Radeon and Geforce under the Republic of Gamers or ROG brand. nVidia forced ASUS to DEBRAND RADEON from ROG

They should have tried selling the Radeon offerings under the "Republic of Gamerz" brand. There, eliminated the confusion for you!

Oh dear... Netizens think 'private' browsing really means totally private


It's well known that adverts appearing because of your browsing history only recommend items that you'd only buy again after considerable time had passed (cars, refridgerators, sofas). God forbid that anyone would actually see an advert that was useful.

Is that why, six years later, Amazon is still suggesting baby products to me?

You're a govt official. You accidentally slap personal info on the web. Quick, blame a kid!


Re: Unisys screwed up

I would refine that to having partaken in a "grab a box of books for free" offer and not even knowing what he has taken.

No, it's like a pile of books available for free - "please take one [or more]!", and the kid shows up with a robot that picks up the books one by one and shoves them in a box.

The fact that one of the books is "Top Secret Methods for mounting rockets on LaserSharks" is not his fault.

Signing up for the RAF? Don't bother – you've been Capita'd


Re: Slightly unrelated, but...

Notwithstanding that most places seem to be able to work this out automatically from the card number, there was nothing at all to indicate you were supposed to do this.

Yes, the first two digits... If you say "37..." I say "American Express". "60" = Discover Card, "4" = Visa, etc.

Oh, and don't you love "discoverable" interfaces? I always delight in discovering an optimum experience

User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word


Re: Validation Vs verification

A simple sanity check for dates would save so much grief!

Yes it would. For a job years ago I wrote a VB.Net tool to archive data and images to optical disk for sale to the public. I soon learned that when it blew up, it was probably because some government user managed to write something like "Feb 29 2005" . My solution was to assume they meant the last day of February.

Slap visibility beacons on bikes so they can chat to auto autos, says trade body


Re: "until I get my dark adaptation back"

Do what pilots do - close one eye in such situations

How often to aircraft pilot have to deal with oncoming cars?

Seriously though, yes, this works. It's why pirates wore eyepatches

Sysadmin wiped two servers, left the country to escape the shame


..Who remembers those "demonstrations" at the Networks show in Birmingham in the 90s, where Novell dropped anvils on one of a pair of running servers to show, er, gravity or something. ...

I remember seeing the Compaq Destructive Testing Lab when I was a contractor back in Houston in the 90s. It seemed they would attempt to crush servers, then act surprised when the poor machine actually crushed. I really don't know how that was supposed to help the average buyer ... "Yes, but our servers can stand up to FOURTEEN thousand pounds of force!" sorry, mate, if there's 14,000 pounds force extra in your server room, there's a problem that most likely needs immediate attention.

10 PRINT "ZX81 at 37" 20 GOTO 10


Re: Sinclair jump started programming in Europe

So, a friend got me the 'Complete ZX Spectrum ROM Disassembly' by Dr.Ian Logan and Dr.Frank O.Hara. The bible of programming Assembly Z80 on the Spectrum!

I had one, too.

The really cool thing to think about now, is that you could just about understand the whole system.

You understood to some degree the hardware, what each chip did, the assembler instruction set, the programs, and maybe even how the BASIC worked. Of course I had to look up Chebyshev polynomials, but you can see how it uses them, even if you don't fully grasp the math.

Now, I really don't understand what cross-site XML phalumph scripting has to do with my ISO viewstate enterprise modelfactory anymore, and these days I have to research stored procedures I wrote last month, because they're so complex.

Sysadmin left finger on power button for an hour to avert SAP outage


Re: Cats can be a problem

@Cats can be a problem.

Toddlers too.

On our PCs at home I had to bypass the power and reset buttons and install switches with a key.

Good old cold-war missile bunker key switches on both PCs, just in case.

Woe Canada: Rather than rise from the ashes, IBM-built C$1bn Phoenix payroll system is going down in flames


Re: Bah!

It would seem that the new payroll system would never have worked manually either. Spotting that before anyone puts mouse to desk is the trick (and the greater part of Ollie's talk that day).

And it does make me wonder why not write a payroll system mainly from scratch?

Use an existing database platform, and write an application that mimics your manual payroll system.

The complexity of the system is usually much lower when rolling your own rather than customizing or munging an "Enterprise!" solution to try to fit your need.

Paul Allen's six-engined monster plane prepares for space deliveries


I do see a huge potential problem here.

If a rocket on a launch pad fails to start, it goes nowhere.

If a rocket tossed out of a plane fails to start, it makes a new artificial reef.

Trump buries H-1B visa applicants in paperwork


It's up to a company to decide the value it places on a position, markets-rates are only a guidance for them

Ah... but they are market-rates, as in "free market". As soon as you open the possibility of importing labor that will work below the market rate, then you're buggering around with the market.

Even in the absence of imported labour below the going market rate, you may well find someone to take that job for £40k, but they might not be as qualified or as competent as you'd like - the qualified, competent ones are interviewing for that £75k job.

Batteries are so heavy, said user. If I take it out, will this thing work?


Re: Two stories:

DC or AC? Coz from what I understand DC shocks can a lot harder on the system and require a lot less current to kill you.

According to Topsy and St. Thomas Edison, AC is the real killer.

This job Win-blows! Microsoft made me pull '75-hour weeks' in a shopping mall kiosk


Re: To be honest...

The theory is borne out by people like software engineers. They're professional and often highly-paid, but they can only be promoted by turning good engineers into crap managers. They usually get overtime and out-of-hours pay. Me, I'm a contractor, so I have no prospects of any kind.

Can you get me a job there? No software engineers in the USA making more than $23,600/yr are exempt, and nobody's going to pay them any overtime. How you you think silicon valley startups operate?

On the other hand, when I was a contractor, I would be paid overtime, but usually used it as an excuse to work no more than 40 hours per week.