* Posts by DJSpuddyLizard

109 posts • joined 2 Jan 2014

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Dutch Gateway store was kept udder wraps for centuries until refit dug up computing history

DJSpuddyLizard

Ah.... Gateway.

I remember 1998? 1999? (well, somewhere around then) - working Gateway tech support from a skyscraper in downtown Houston, trying to convince callers that we were in rural farmland in the great wesern plains....

I'm trying to remember if we got points for getting users to reboot, or if that was just a drinking game we did on the night shift.

Web pages a little too style over substance? Behold the Windows 98 CSS file

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: TIFKAM

Usability went out the door with Windows 8

Yep, that why on the machine I built last month, I installed Windows 7.

Asus Motherboard with Ryzen 2700, zooms along nicely.

French pensioner ejected from fighter jet after accidentally grabbing bang seat* handle

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Double ejection

If this had happened in the US, he'd have sued the Air Force not just for any medical bills but for all sorts of damages and possible aftercare further down the line

And the USAF would have counter-sued for damage to their plane.

The mod firing squad: Stack Exchange embroiled in 'he said, she said, they said' row

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Is this just an English thing ?

"plurality mismatch detected."

Thou art hereby banned from using "your" for singular second person. Thou must use "thine" instead.

Seriously, if singular "their" and "they" was ok in the 14th century, then it's fine now.

BOFH: It's not just an awesome app, it'll look great on my Insta. . a. a. AAAARRRRRGGH

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: You'd have thought...

My plan in central Texas:

Winter - (January & February) Set temp to 22F

Spring - (March & April) Set temp to 21C

Summer (April-October) Keep temp at 21C

Autumn (November & December) Keep temp at 21C

Owner of Smuggler's Inn B&B ordered to put up a sign warning guests not to cross into Canada

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Both sides?

My favorite was on Christmas tree lights - "For use only inside or outside".

Asus: Yo dawg, we hear a million of you got pwned by a software update. So we got you an update for the update

DJSpuddyLizard

"Now Asus has emitted a non-spyware-riddled version of Live Update for people to install on its notebooks, which includes extra security features "

What, like a checksum?

Who needs malware? IBM says most hackers just PowerShell through boxes now, leaving little in the way of footprints

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Default for .ps1 files is edit

Does anyone really think hackers leave them with a .ps1 extension?

I've seen recently a lot of ".avi" files that are really shortcuts containing powershell code to execute program x from an internet location.

US kids apparently talking like Peppa Pig... How about US lawmakers watching Doctor Who?

DJSpuddyLizard

I used to use Peppa Pig to inform my then-four-year-old about the realities of living in England (she's British-American but we live in the USA.) such as visiting the beach in the snow, rainy weather, finding loud characters who sound like Brian Blessed everywhere, etc.

Only plebs use Office 2019 over Office 365, says Microsoft's weird new ad campaign

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Office 365

Office 365.2425 by my calculations...

Microsoft decides Internet Explorer 10 has had its fun: Termination set for January 2020

DJSpuddyLizard

Don't worry, soon Edge will be Chrome underneath.

'Numpty new boy' lets the boss take fall for mailbox obliteration

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: 100% honesty 90% of the time

"blame fluctuations in the Earth's magnetic field."

I once worked hell desk and had a corporate client who often called complaining about network connectivity, Our team soon deduced it was caused by thunderstorms at the client office, but it's hard to tell people that on the phone, even when true.

Germany has a problem with the entire point of Amazon's daft Dash buttons – and bans them

DJSpuddyLizard

The Dash buttons obvious already contain WiFi circuitry and some processing power.

Add an LED display. When you press then button, it shows the price, press again to buy within 30 seconds.

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: @doublelayer -- A simple idea

Those little annoying bastards who seem to be writing all of the "Secret Questions" that websites use nowadays to prove you are you

And some of them are case-sensitive, just to make it harder. Was it McKenzie or Mckenzie or did I type mckenzie ?

Could you speak up a bit? I didn't catch your password

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Airport facial recognition

Men with beards break the UK border facial recognition s/w; how can that be a problem?

It was a problem for the Victorians, and is still a problem.

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight

DJSpuddyLizard

Frazzles are not suitable for humans

Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: battered?

Finally, turn the heat back up, return the lardons to the pan and stir gently a few times, making sure any remaining water has evaporated. For a really festive touch, mix in a few sliced marrons glacés before serving.

You missed the step where you remove the sprouts before serving.

On the seventh anniversary of Steve Jobs' death, we give you 7 times he served humanity and acted as an example to others

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Classic Reg, keeping it classy

Vitriol I've always imagined in tastes like really, really oversteeped tea.

I thought it was a cross between cod liver oil, motor oil, and goat cheese.

A story of M, a failed retailer: We'll give you a clue – it rhymes with Charlie Chaplin

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Ironic, isn't it?

Westcliffe-on-sea -

they did. That was the reason I liked to go visit me Gran in the mid to late 80s - it was the only Maplin store I knew of - and I loved the catalogue.

How an over-zealous yank took down the trading floor of a US bank

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Unplugging the keyboard = kernel panic ?

Because when confronted with a message on a screen, people's understanding becomes astonishingly literal.

I thought that as IT people, we're all astonishingly literal anyway? Specifications don't really work otherwise.

Card-stealing code that pwned British Airways, Ticketmaster pops up on more sites via hacked JS

DJSpuddyLizard

Lazy

Yeah, and this is why if you're concerned about security, or even functionality, you don't link to dynamic third-party libraries. Third party libraries that you don't have locally are subject to change.

Did people not pay attention two years ago, when removing 'left-pad' crashed Node?

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/03/23/npm_left_pad_chaos/

No need to code your webpage yourself, says Microsoft – draw it and our AI will do the rest

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Hilarious

"there'll be a lot of web developers suddenly out of work"

That seems rather doubtful. There's a lot more to web development than just arranging the visuals.

Yes, but those "web developers" whose sole qualification is three weeks at a Web Boot Camp will be soon having to be selling off their kidneys.

DJSpuddyLizard

But don't get too comfy. You'll be on the Help Desk soon

But the Help Desk have all been replaced with an AI chatbot that really only knows to tell people to restart their devices.

No, eight characters, some capital letters and numbers is not a good password policy

DJSpuddyLizard

Password027!

Funnily enough, no, infosec bods aren't mad keen on W. Virginia's vote-by-phone-app plan

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: There is so much to be wary of here . . .

Once I got to the point where the name of the app was given (Voatz), my mind just shut off.

Why do I have pictures of stoats in my mind?

And on the radio, they're trying to convince me to mispronounce 'Disqus" as if it had an extra S on the end.

Mind you, they also promoted an elder assist program that helped with "lighthouse keeping" instead of "light housekeeping"

The internet's very own Muslim ban continues: DNS overlord insists it can freeze dot-words

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Dear ICANN,

Don't create a new TLD unless it is 100% crystal clear from the get-go, beyond any question of debate, who it should belong to.....

Similarly I have no objection to creating ".disney' or '.pepsi' if you really must, though I think it's a shocking waste of everyone's time.

You're actually contradicting yourself.

Have you ever visited Nissan.com ? There's an interesting tale....

Here's why AI can't make a catchier tune than the worst pop song in the charts right now

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: I'm actually surprised that it works on raw samples at all

I actually think that moving to raw samples is a rather bad thing to do

Exactly. They're already making it harder. I don't go around humming a pop song because I remember the Ronkhorn synth had extra reverb in it, I remember the song because of the melody.

Perhaps if they'd started with the glaringly obvious idea of just using more source material they could do better.

Finally, San Francisco cleans up the crap from its streets – yes, all those fscking scooters

DJSpuddyLizard

I'd heard of them, but I didn't realize how obnoxious these are till I saw them in person yesterday in Nashville. A required safety feature should be for them to beep loudly every five seconds, at least I'll have time to switch my brolly to "dismount the idiot" mode when walking down the sidewalk.

Microsoft patches problematic OS to deal with SSD woes

DJSpuddyLizard

Forever...

I just updated my Windows 7 laptop to WIn 10, and now it seems to take about 20 minutes to Restart.

That's for the shutting-down part, not the starting-up part.

Nvidia quickly kills its AMD-screwing GeForce 'partner program' amid monopoly probe threat

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Debranding and forcing AMD out of gaming is anti-competitive and monopolistic.

ASUS was selling BOTH Radeon and Geforce under the Republic of Gamers or ROG brand. nVidia forced ASUS to DEBRAND RADEON from ROG

They should have tried selling the Radeon offerings under the "Republic of Gamerz" brand. There, eliminated the confusion for you!

Oh dear... Netizens think 'private' browsing really means totally private

DJSpuddyLizard

It's well known that adverts appearing because of your browsing history only recommend items that you'd only buy again after considerable time had passed (cars, refridgerators, sofas). God forbid that anyone would actually see an advert that was useful.

Is that why, six years later, Amazon is still suggesting baby products to me?

You're a govt official. You accidentally slap personal info on the web. Quick, blame a kid!

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Unisys screwed up

I would refine that to having partaken in a "grab a box of books for free" offer and not even knowing what he has taken.

No, it's like a pile of books available for free - "please take one [or more]!", and the kid shows up with a robot that picks up the books one by one and shoves them in a box.

The fact that one of the books is "Top Secret Methods for mounting rockets on LaserSharks" is not his fault.

Signing up for the RAF? Don't bother – you've been Capita'd

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Slightly unrelated, but...

Notwithstanding that most places seem to be able to work this out automatically from the card number, there was nothing at all to indicate you were supposed to do this.

Yes, the first two digits... If you say "37..." I say "American Express". "60" = Discover Card, "4" = Visa, etc.

Oh, and don't you love "discoverable" interfaces? I always delight in discovering an optimum experience

User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Validation Vs verification

A simple sanity check for dates would save so much grief!

Yes it would. For a job years ago I wrote a VB.Net tool to archive data and images to optical disk for sale to the public. I soon learned that when it blew up, it was probably because some government user managed to write something like "Feb 29 2005" . My solution was to assume they meant the last day of February.

Slap visibility beacons on bikes so they can chat to auto autos, says trade body

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: "until I get my dark adaptation back"

Do what pilots do - close one eye in such situations

How often to aircraft pilot have to deal with oncoming cars?

Seriously though, yes, this works. It's why pirates wore eyepatches

Sysadmin wiped two servers, left the country to escape the shame

DJSpuddyLizard

..Who remembers those "demonstrations" at the Networks show in Birmingham in the 90s, where Novell dropped anvils on one of a pair of running servers to show, er, gravity or something. ...

I remember seeing the Compaq Destructive Testing Lab when I was a contractor back in Houston in the 90s. It seemed they would attempt to crush servers, then act surprised when the poor machine actually crushed. I really don't know how that was supposed to help the average buyer ... "Yes, but our servers can stand up to FOURTEEN thousand pounds of force!" sorry, mate, if there's 14,000 pounds force extra in your server room, there's a problem that most likely needs immediate attention.

10 PRINT "ZX81 at 37" 20 GOTO 10

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Sinclair jump started programming in Europe

So, a friend got me the 'Complete ZX Spectrum ROM Disassembly' by Dr.Ian Logan and Dr.Frank O.Hara. The bible of programming Assembly Z80 on the Spectrum!

I had one, too.

The really cool thing to think about now, is that you could just about understand the whole system.

You understood to some degree the hardware, what each chip did, the assembler instruction set, the programs, and maybe even how the BASIC worked. Of course I had to look up Chebyshev polynomials, but you can see how it uses them, even if you don't fully grasp the math.

Now, I really don't understand what cross-site XML phalumph scripting has to do with my ISO viewstate enterprise modelfactory anymore, and these days I have to research stored procedures I wrote last month, because they're so complex.

Sysadmin left finger on power button for an hour to avert SAP outage

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Cats can be a problem

@Cats can be a problem.

Toddlers too.

On our PCs at home I had to bypass the power and reset buttons and install switches with a key.

Good old cold-war missile bunker key switches on both PCs, just in case.

Woe Canada: Rather than rise from the ashes, IBM-built C$1bn Phoenix payroll system is going down in flames

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Bah!

It would seem that the new payroll system would never have worked manually either. Spotting that before anyone puts mouse to desk is the trick (and the greater part of Ollie's talk that day).

And it does make me wonder why not write a payroll system mainly from scratch?

Use an existing database platform, and write an application that mimics your manual payroll system.

The complexity of the system is usually much lower when rolling your own rather than customizing or munging an "Enterprise!" solution to try to fit your need.

Paul Allen's six-engined monster plane prepares for space deliveries

DJSpuddyLizard

I do see a huge potential problem here.

If a rocket on a launch pad fails to start, it goes nowhere.

If a rocket tossed out of a plane fails to start, it makes a new artificial reef.

Trump buries H-1B visa applicants in paperwork

DJSpuddyLizard

It's up to a company to decide the value it places on a position, markets-rates are only a guidance for them

Ah... but they are market-rates, as in "free market". As soon as you open the possibility of importing labor that will work below the market rate, then you're buggering around with the market.

Even in the absence of imported labour below the going market rate, you may well find someone to take that job for £40k, but they might not be as qualified or as competent as you'd like - the qualified, competent ones are interviewing for that £75k job.

Batteries are so heavy, said user. If I take it out, will this thing work?

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Two stories:

DC or AC? Coz from what I understand DC shocks can a lot harder on the system and require a lot less current to kill you.

According to Topsy and St. Thomas Edison, AC is the real killer.

This job Win-blows! Microsoft made me pull '75-hour weeks' in a shopping mall kiosk

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: To be honest...

The theory is borne out by people like software engineers. They're professional and often highly-paid, but they can only be promoted by turning good engineers into crap managers. They usually get overtime and out-of-hours pay. Me, I'm a contractor, so I have no prospects of any kind.

Can you get me a job there? No software engineers in the USA making more than $23,600/yr are exempt, and nobody's going to pay them any overtime. How you you think silicon valley startups operate?

On the other hand, when I was a contractor, I would be paid overtime, but usually used it as an excuse to work no more than 40 hours per week.

Crunch time: Maplin in talks to sell the business

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Remnant of the 1980s

Having a local shop got me out of a hole last Sunday - my desktop PSU went bang on Saturday night, and Maplin was the only local outfit to have a suitable PSU in stock

Same thing with the last thing I *ever* bought from a Radio Shack store in the USA - a PSU - 15 minutes before closing time, and I wouldn't have been able to get to a "big box" store in time. Of course, the sales staff didn't know they even sold them, so I had to show them what it looked like.

Ah, Maplins, I remember the days when it was just a cardboard box I shopped at when I went to visit me granny in Westcliff.

Basket case lawsuit: Fancy fruit florists flail Google over rotten ads, demand $200m damages

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Long time coming?

I'm pretty sure I got my wife some kind of edible arraignment when our first daughter was born twenty years ago.

What was she edibly arrested for?

Eggheads: Cities, don't woo rich Amazon with sweetheart HQ deals

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: I think we're still a bit upset that AT&T moved to Dallas.

St Louis is still a little upset that Southwestern Bell moved to San Antonio. Because the CEO wasn't allowed to join the country club he wanted to.

You're quite correct, I'd rather forgotten about that... and I have no excuse as I actually wrote a paper about the history and future of SBC in 2001, back in business school.

DJSpuddyLizard

If you PAY the company to move to your city, they won't have any problem getting someone else to pay them to move later.

That why San Antonio didn't submit a bid. I think we're still a bit upset that AT&T moved to Dallas.

1980s sci-fi movies: The thrill of being not quite terrified on mum's floral sofa

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: monkey business

I think quite a bit of the CGI for the Apes movies is based on live action motion capture, so likely to be more convincing than some other CGI which is, let's face it, like watching a cartoon

Well, Andy Serkis is a convincing actor.

Quentin Tarantino in talks to make Star Trek movie

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: Well Discovery has the occasional swearing

it may have been better had it not tried to fit into the Startrek universe but as it is it's just a terrible mismatch with poor acting and plot.

Wait a minute.... are you suggesting Trek usually has good acting and plot?

What strange alternative universe are you from?

Tom Baker returns to finish shelved Doctor Who episodes penned by Douglas Adams

DJSpuddyLizard

Re: And for those lost episodes.

Can't we just zoom out* and collect all the TV transmissions from the very beginning?

Not really. At 38 light years out, the signal degradation would be too much.

Good old Inverse Square thingy, I think.

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