The jokes write themselves!
Posts by Gannettt
159 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Dec 2013
Amazon Shocker: Firm recalls Fire and Fire Kids power adapters
Zynga CEO resigns – again – after terrible results
Competition? No way! AT&T says it will sue to keep Google Fiber out of Louisville, Kentucky
Nvidia GPUs give smut viewed incognito a second coming
But I thought incognito mode/private browsing was so you could order your wife presents online without her knowing about it?
Longing to bin Photoshop? Rock-solid GIMP a major leap forward
I used to be a huge fan of the GIMP, but gave up at 2.6 when I moved to a Mac: the OSX port was horrible, the drawing cursor would trail the mouse pointer by a second or two. The last version I really enjoyed using was 2.4.7 in 2007, after that, it just got a bit bloaty for me, although singe window mode sounds like a great step forward.
I may just give it another go.
SanDisk offers super-slim terabyte SSD to tablet-pushers and other bulge-watchers
Re: YAWN
TOTALLY! I know things change, and just because I don't find it interesting doesn't mean it's bad, but this move to more enterprise-centric stories of late is pretty stealthy, and I would imagine I'm not the only reader with a more general interest in IT who spends less and less time on the site these days.
Come on El Reg - come clean and admit that there has been a change in editorial direction.
Microsoft in 2016: Is there any point asking SatNad what's coming?
Noble intentions, abysmal execution - sounds like Office 365 to me. We rolled it out at work recently, and what a dog's breakfast it is. People were really excited about the idea of being able to do work from anywhere, but utterly baffled by the clunky authentication process ("remember my credentials", there's a laugh!) and trying to figure out which SharePoint/OneCloud/OneCloud for Business they had stored that Word document in. In my opinion, they have lost.
Microsoft steps up Windows 10 nagging
British woman loses £1.6 million to romance scam love rats
Reg of Old
Ah, I knew I'd find something of interest this lunchtime! I wonder whether El Reg has a new editor, as the stories have recently skewed more towards enterprise IT, storage etc, and these lighter stories are getting fewer. I know things change, and I'm not necessarily complaining (just because i don't find it interesting, doesn't mean it's bad) I just miss the old Reg a tiny bit, that's all. Just sayin'.
Trouble brewing as iThing coffee machine seems to be hackable
Activision to buy Candy Crush developer King
"With over 299 billion unique monthly users, we anticipate quarterly revenues to be up 144% year on year, with an overall turnover of $2.7 trillion in Q4, which equates to an average monetization strategy reflecting maximum growth in the short, medium and long terms. Oh, and the game is pretty good as well, I am told" - A. Greedy-Bastard, CEO, MegaGameCorp LLC
Think Fortran, assembly language programming is boring and useless? Tell that to the NASA Voyager team
Seagate’s suffering from mighty profit droop syndrome
Microsoft scares the bejesus out of Skype users with x12 price hike
NASA's Cassini probe skims icy moon Enceladus
Aussies' distinctive Strine down to drunk forefathers
Work from home when the next big Windows 10 installation arrives
Bracken assembles old GDS crew for Co-op
Sorry, the name Bracken is so distracting - makes me think of my days as unemployed scum watching Doctors every lunchtime, and the wish-washy hippie doctor had a daughter called Bracken. just think of that episode where the daughter has gone missing, and the mum is wandering around shouting "Bracken!" :)
Connected kettles boil over, spill Wi-Fi passwords over London
New Nexus 5X, 6P smarties: Google draws a line in the sand
Where will storage go over the next 15 years? We rub our crystal ball
Typewriters suck. Yet we're infinitely richer for those irritating machines
Typewriters! I went to a school for the blind and partially-sighted, and we learned to touch type on ancient manual typewriters from the age of 9. The idea was that blind people could write something that sighted people could read.
Our first typing teacher was a dear old lady, who looked like she'd stepped out of a 1950s office, complete with Dame Edna-style 'winged' glasses. She would walk around, making sure we weren't looking at our keys and keeping our wrists up. Imagine a dozen 10-year olds bashing away at typewriters in a small classroom, the noise was horrendous.
We had a mixture of manual portables (I remember we had some Silver Reed 420s) and those tall Olympia typewriters with teh cream and green keys (like the one in the picture). The older machines always made a lovely clear, dark impression, the portables were pretty poor. One lad actually suffered the indignity of swiping the carriage return lever and the carriage sailing off onto the floor next to his desk!
The teacher cared for those machine like they were her children. The smell of typewriter cleaning fluid was intoxicating.
We learned to use Tipp-Ex, the liquid (also intoxicating) and the little slips of paper. Someone mentioned carbon copies. I well remember having to do two carbons, one on white and one on yellow flimsy. If you made a mistake, you not only had to correct the top copy, but the other copies as well.
Towards the end of my school days, in the mid-80s, the old teacher retired, and a younger lady took over. Almost overnight, out went the historic machines, replaced by daisy wheel electronics. We were blown away by the correction key, kerning, automatic bold, centering, etc (centering was an art on manuals: tab to the centre of the carriage and backspace once for every two letters in the heading)
I recently came across a manual and tried to use it. Threading the paper in just came back like riding a bike, but the force needed to bash the keys was something else, how the hell did we type 60 wpm back in the day!
Susan Sheridan, voice of Hitchhiker's Trillian, dies aged 68
Very sad. Susan Sheridan is something of a radio drama veteran, with so much more than just HHGG on her CV. She tended to be called on to play little boys in many radio plays and programmes for BBC Schools back in the day, and when I heard her in a play called "This Problem Of Yours" where she actually plays a woman, she sounded rather sexy!
Hey, Apple! 1999 just called and it wants its voicemail avatar back
Google bows to inevitable, stops forcing Google+ logins on YouTubers
Re: As with all social networks,
Have to disagree slightly - I seem to remember reading that teens are abandoning Facebook in droves, and a large proportion of active users of FB are women over 35 (I wish I could remember the source). I have amle friends who post stuff about retro games or tech stories, not a sausage; female friends post yet another minion meme or kid pic, likes and comments galore!
Re: As with all social networks,
Actually, I have to agree. I'm in now way an active user of G+, but when I do check it out, it is very low-key and uncluttered. I subscribe to the Raspberry Pi account, and all the posts are interesting. No JPEGs with schmaltzy quotes, bloody minion memes or pictures of kids from friends of friends cluttering the timeline.
Saying all that, though, I think it's definitely doomed.
Microsoft emits Office 2016 for Apple Macs (you'll need Office 365)
I have an Office 365 account through work and downloaded Office 2016 for Mac. Apart from the 'colorful' user interface, there's really nothing much different to 2011, at least for the basic stuff I use it for. But then hasn't that been the case for all Office releases since about 1996: add a few bells and whistles to a perfectly solid office suite every few years and charge accordingly?
Facebook pumps up ENTIRELY SELFLESS, altruistic Internet.org
Kobo Glo HD vs Amazon Kindle Paperwhite: Which one's best?
Uber to drivers: You make a ton of dosh for us – but that doesn't make you employees
Why the BBC is stuffing free Micro:bit computers into schoolkids' satchels
Re: Year 7 = 11 years old
"sorry Jhaaydyn varible is not the same as variable", "yes Kyhilie you do need a semi colon on the end of every line", "freddie why are assigning every thing to the one variable?" , "Wendy you missed this whole subroutine here",
I can see an updated version of the classic Joyce Grenfel routine here!
Climate change alarmism is a religious belief – it's official
Super Cali goes ballistic – Uber says it's bogus (even though its contract is something quite atrocious)
Apple brews new News news to peruse - screws news dudes
Lonely Pirate cheers on Big Copyright-bashing EU commissars
Why have I got this image in my head of a boardroom somewhere in Corporate america, with a load of fat-cats in suits laughing as they toss a copy of the letter of objection into the wastepaper basket? Thier well-paid lawyers will appeal and keep this one rumbling on until everyone has forgotten about what it was all about, then carry on as normal.
It's a shame that content has to go through these greedy shysters before it gets to your telly.
I'm sure, when they first heard about the Pirate Party's sould representative, many people thought they would be fighting for the pirates, when really, I think they seem to be a restraining influence, advocating sensible and fair copyright laws which would lead to less pirating.
Windows 10 upgrade ADWARE forces its way on to Windows 7 and 8.1
KFC's new secret ingredient is a bluetooth keyboard on your tray
Tossed all your snaps into the new Google Photos? You read the terms, right? ... RIGHT?
Charter Comms to wed Time Warner Cable in monster merger
If this means that our local Charter-owned broadband comapny stops spamming us with mailshots literally every day, then I'm all for it!
Seriously, though, who the hell benefits from all this activity? it certainly isn't the customers. I don't know how anyone could have written that quote with a straight face, i bet they had a great laugh making that one up!
Lightbulbs of the future will come with wireless extenders and speakers
HAHAHA! Go on, HOST YOUR NEWS on FACEBOOK, FOOLS!
Re: Why...
Tweets and Facebook comments give the Beb an idea of who's listening and watching their output. It also ticks the box labelled 'interacting with the audience' - nobody could accuse them of just ignoring them if they keep soliciting communication. And social media is trendy (or was a few years ago) and this makes the Beeb look modern, go-ahead, fab, groovy etc. Cynical? Not me!