Posts by Yugguy

Five technologies you shouldn't bother looking out for in 2016

Re: @Yugguy

Agreed - by "smart" I mean connected. I too am a fan of closed systems. You can't hack them.

Did I read the article????

Yes, and I am pretty much agreeing with it. Other people I expect will read it and perhaps disagree with one or more points.

They may then post their thoughts on the technologies, as I did.

I believe this is called commenting.

1. IoT will go mainstream

I don't know ANYONE who really gives a toss about smarting their house up. I know I don't.

2. Wearable tech will find a purpose

Wearable tech alread has purposes, and has for many years, for instance I've had a Garmin GPS running watch for a good 10 years. GPS/mapping, downloadable to a PC.

3. Mobile phone companies will roll out 5G

Finish 4G first perhaps???

4. Virtual reality hits critical mass

Maybe in the cinema/commercial entertainment environment. NOT in the average home though.

5. IT jobs get sexy.

No, never, ever, ever. Noone will EVER get laid with the line "Hey baby, I'm a data miner."

How to help a user who can't find the Start button or the keyboard?

At least y'all get paid

All of this pales into insignificance compared to the joy of being an unpaid 24x7 365 technical resource for EVERY SINGLE technology related issue for aged relatives. Because of course if you "work in computers" you know every single thing about them.

My most recent task was also to figure out why the Windows Start button wasn't working.

Turned out that when installing facebook (sorry for swearing) my m-i-l had also installed an alternative launcher called Pokki. Because it doesn't matter jow many times I tell them not to install free stuff, not to click on Yes, they always do.

The last time Earth was this hot hippos lived in Britain (that’s 130,000 years ago)

Re: Bring on the warming!!!

As a wise man once said..

"Kent??? That's a spelling mistake isn't it?"

Bring on the warming!!!

Vineyards and olive groves in the Midlands, no more Southerners.

I'm not seeing a downside.

Does anyone know what their broadband costs? The ASA hopes to change that

Mr Parker

I heard him on R5 this morning.

When asked what the ASA would actually DO if the providers didn't simplify their pricing, he was rather vague.

Boffins: There's a ninth planet out there – now we just need to find it

Nemesis

I have seen the dark universe yawning,

Where the black planets roll without aim;

Where they roll in their horror unheeded, without knowledge or lustre or name.

Florida cuffee surprised by pills in vagina

It's in BootNotes.

The dull technical articles are to your left.

Snowden bag-carrier Miranda's detention was lawful – UK appeal court

Re: Rights

Yes I am well aware that they don't exist in the UK but frankly the joke

"Miranda didn't get his caution"

isn't quite as stunningly hilarious as my original.

Rights

Miranda didn't get his Miranda rights.

The planets really will be in alignment for the next month

Yeah but no but

They're not actually aligned.

It's just angles of sight...

Spoilsport scientists unstick Spider-Man

At least

Black Widow's arse really is that good in real life.

So that's nice.

Viglen staff mark CEO Tkachuk's passing with a royal tribute

MEH

Most places I have worked in have bosses so far removed from reality and the lower workforce that a change of such boss is universally greeted with "meh".

It's Wikipedia mythbuster time: 8 of the best on your 15th birthday

Re: Er, I like Wikipedia

a) IMDB is chock full of ads.

b) I don't want the bloke's life history, just his name. I am satisfying idle curiosity only.

Wike gets me it in a few seconds.

Er, I like Wikipedia

I am WELL aware that is not an authoritative source.

But when I'm watching some shitty Asylum film and I'm wondering what other shitty Asylum film that shitty actor has been in, Wiki is my goto site.

Or yesterday, the commentator on the OSullivan/Hawkins match got very excited about someone in the audience that I'd never heard of. A few seconds on Wiki filled me in.

999 What's your emergency: Mega millions Met call handling IT muckup?

Hello Darling!

Would you like to take down my particulars?

Late night server rebuild led to 'nightmares about mutilated corpses'

Vines

I am actually Vines certified.

I used it back in 1996.

It was actually quite good.

BBC risks wrath of android rights activists with Robot Wars reboot

Re: Pah. RC models vs more RC Models

I gave you an upvote. Cos as entertaining as RW was, it was still basically one remote control vehicle against another.

I'd like to see armed robots that decide themselves how to attack, what routes to take, when and what weapons to deploy. No user interaction allowed apart from initial switch on.

And some kind of final Predator style self-destruct.

No escape: Microsoft injects 'Get Windows 10' nagware into biz PCs

Re: Time to get the popcorn yet?

"happily on Vista"

Oxymoron shirley?

Server retired after 18 years and ten months – beat that, readers!

There's a lot of this about.

1) it still does the job.

2) it's very difficult/nigh-on impossible to replace.

Keeps us old blokes in jobs.

Stephen Hawking reckons he's cracked the black hole paradox

I must read more physics

As at the moment I don't understand why it is significant that information not be destroyed/lost.

Boffins switch on pinchfist incandescent bulb

Resources to manufacture

Given that this is more complex than a standard incandescent, it would only be useful if the total lifetime cost of it, including manufacture and , was less than that of the standard bulb.

Samsung turns to smart home, wearables chips as mobile declines

Re: Oh Samsung

Wileyfox do screen repair cover 10 pounds a year.

Charge less

I know I sound like a broken record.

But I have a Wileyfox Swift, just as well made and specced as a Samsung that costs twice the price and it isn't riddled with Samsung bloatware apps that I don't want but can't remove.

Why would I ever buy high end again?

VW floats catalytic converter as fix for fibbing diesels

"As for VW, hang them out to dry for all I care"

You're definitely in the running for the most moronic comment of 2016.

How many people does VW employ directly? How many people are employed in side industries? How many people are employed in VW dealerships? How many people are employed in independent VAG specialist garages? Etc.

ALL these people and their families would be screwed if the VAG group folded, or even it withdrew from the US market.

Pillock.

Apple buys mood sniffer AI firm Emotient. Stop rolling your eyes at me, user

can you read my mind?

Then you do NOT know how I am feeling, and you never will.

Lovelace at 200: Celebrating the High Priestess to Babbage's machines

Re: Sexist shite

Looking at your previous posts you have a real problem with strong, intelligent, successful women.

Heh, you'd hate my wife and daughter. That said, I doubt they'd be very impressed with you either.

Smartphone hard, dudes, like it’s the end of the world!

Steel Panther

I don't think they actually have any SFW videos. Good lads.

They're a hair metail version of the Macc Lads.

We need a ROCK! icon.

HPE's London boozer dubbed the 'Hewlett You Inn?'

We buy stuff off HP

Where's me invite?

We're all really excited about new smartphones, laptops, tablets – said no one ever

Don't need the brand new shiny

The simple fact is that if my current technology does everything I need it to do then I am not about to waste my money.

If that changes then I'll investigate and purchase.

I won't purchase just because it's new.

Even my 10 year old daughter understands this. She has a 7 inch Galaxy tab, a year or so old. For her recent birthday and Christmas we asked her if she wanted a new one. No, she said, this does everything I want it to do. I was very proud. (;->

HSBC online customers still in the cold after hours-long lockout

2 days offline???

Sorry but that is SHIT.

I work for a financial institution and there is simply no way we would allow a customer facing outage of that length that was caused by an internal issue.

I know as I'm the one oncall if our external web site, internal sales system or internet banking goes down. The stuff that actually makes us the money. If I can't fix any of these within the hour I escalate and everyone jumps in. The longest outage we've had on our external website is 2 hours.

Brit cuffed for Kyrgyz 'horse penis' sausage quip

Re: This has become a tail of WHOA...

You can shout yourself HOARSE over this, but it's true that a FOAL and his money are soon parted. Perhaps if the town was twinned with CANTERbury over this there would be less fuss.

We could have a poll about it, run by GALLUP.

Researcher criticises 'weak' crypto in Internet of Things alarm system

Save your bloody money

And spend it on improved PHYSICAL security. Better window and door locks, that the burglar can SEE, are far more effective.

BBC News website takes New Year's Eve break

Divide by zero

It probably tried to equate the number of people who accuse the BBC of having a leftwing bias with those who accuse it of being rightwing and disappeated up its own arse.

Cat fight: Watch out YouTube, here comes Facebook

Mobile data training!

You should have trained your offspring to only view videos etc while on wireless.

Flare-well, 2015 – solar storm to light up skies on New Year's Eve

My excuse will finally become true

This has been my response for years.

"Why isnt this working?"

"Unprecendented solar activity."

Sweet.

Bah humbug. It's Andrew's Phones of the Year

Wileyfox Swift

Not for the amazing spec for price, not for the decent construction, not for the ease of use etc. etc.

One thing - cyanogenOS Privacy Guard.

Autotrader app, you don't need to read my contacts, or wake up my phone, you don't need to be able to send a text. So I'm going to switch off those permissions.

Oh yes.

Windows for Warships? Not on our new aircraft carriers, says MoD

Screen capture was the best

Capture the screen, set that as the background then stop the explorer process.

"Why aren't my icons working???"

T'was the night before Christmas, and an industrial control system needed an upgrade

“A less than really sharp manager agreed,”

Are there any other kinds?

Vote now to name HPE's London boozer

Re: I still think ...

Building five what?

Re: Honourable mention shurely?

Wow.

Thank you!

Honourable mention shurely?

I think I should get an honourable mention for the Box and Padding entry as it was my initial comment that inspired it.

How to feed and raise a Wikipedia robo-editor

Hmmm

Could a robot tell the difference between disk jockey and cock jockey I wonder?

Let's shut down the internet: Republicans vacate their mind bowels

Technically could they?

Disregarding the should they, I guess a country could isolate itself by controlling or cutting its core incoming routers?

Isnt this what NK and China more or less do?

Are you thinking of Asimov's story Franchise, where one voter is chosen by computer to be the representative voter for the whole nation?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franchise_(short_story)

Be afraid, Apple and Samsung: Huawei's IoT home looks cheaper and better

Re: May be gadgets struggling to find a use.

That's interesting as the smart part of our Samsung TV is shite.

Review: Star Wars: The Force Awakens offers a new hope for the franchise

pre-show ads

I hate them, as unlike when I am at home I can't fast-forward through the wretched things.

After Death Star II blew: Dissecting the tech of Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens

Millennium Falcon outdated???

Cars from the 1910s can still drive on today's roads in their original state, albeit not to the standard of a modern car.

However, they could be fitted with fully modern engines, running gear, brakes etc., yet still maintain their original outward appearance. This is done to things like e-types, cobras etc., and could be done to older cars if someone wanted to.

The Falcon could quite easily have been similarly refitted during the hundred years.

Kids' TV show Rainbow in homosexual agenda shocker

Rod Jane and Freddy?

I thought that was a stage direction.