* Posts by hans

38 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Jul 2007

Cokeheads slip AI onto Yahoo! front page



He usually comments just after me, so we shall see.....

Sony pulls PlayStation 3 software update


cant assign controller

I cant assign any controllers now . HELP!

Boris' crime map plan comes unstuck

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carbon maps, crime maps

We will soon see where the least populated areas are, the richest of those areas and whether the plods are paying it any attention befotre going on an 'unexpected' crime spree.

Honest guv the ctrime map showed 0 so we dunt put no plods there ...

Farking brill me old son!

IBM 'advises' staff to opt for a Microsoft Office-free world


20000 techies

Its not the UK/Europe or US then, India perhaps? And then probably for internal comms only.

We have a free web enabled processor anyway Writeley by google, look how that set the world on fire.

As for the formats not doing what M$ does, legal?

South Africa launches formal objection at OOXML

Gates Horns

More beetroot and a showa

This from the county whos idea of a cure for aids is eating betroot, and whos president thinks you can wash aids off in a shower.

Surprised they are asked for their poinion, but then perhaps the OOXML requires 'speshal muti' ....

Anan on case noted wishdokta comes a visiting with his shambok :)

Japanese customs dish out free dope


Japanese Airports most popular (survey by P.Escobar)

Mrs How Hai will contact customs after she returns ......to earth.

BT profits nothing to phone home about

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Please to be picking ud de telephone

I can emu you a mail on the settings ford car perhpas um...and mayber as for to ask you to be please resolving this problem.

Its like NTL all over again.

I dont have a home phone, I use Vodafone who answer the phone and for the number of times I call is cheaper than BT Indias 10.50 line rental and silly enforced call packages.

Bunch of second rate has beens

Murdoch sees MySpace miss targets

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Web 3.0

Just goes to show that many of those with the money have no idea whatsoever how technology and people work.


Mr Brown Cow

3 brown Cow Road


Industry : Agriculture

Employees : 10'000+

Interests : Flying

Grand Theft Auto IV misses week one million sales mark

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Not enough units

Take 2 did not press enough units, or they would have made it.

Blame the distro :)

PS3 to get movie downloads this summer?

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Woo Hoo

Quote 'tomorrow the COD4 map pack is available ahead of schedule, then on Friday we have "Play against Infinity Ward" day, then all weekend we have double XP'

I feel...sick....cough....must get ....joypad....

Area 51 drug test victim crashes flying car

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Fly me out maaaan

He will most certainly use the first 'yard' day to call one of his mates to fly by and pick him up.

American tech spy gets 24 years in cooler


Why bother with a CD

Use a network connection and encryption softare, and as most data is in India/China anyway whats the hassle?

FSA acts as rumours send bank shares crashing



HSBC only has ONE banking guarantee so if you have savings in benefical finance and savings in an HSBC atrm and the lot comes down, you get to choose which arm you want to claim against.

So go ask questions now :)

MPs get £2k home cinema on taxpayers

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IF you were an employee

These would.

1. have to be declared

2. Be a taxable benefit

3. Be taxed under gains on resale

But if your an MP its gravy train all the way, why dont we outsource MP's to OIndia, get nothing done, but cheaper?

This is what I pay my spirraling taxes for a lod of fat useless lying money laundering nepotistic twats.

I want to opt out of being a Uk citizen and keep my taxes, i would do much better paying private rather than paying these nutters, would also give me a pension in my old age, time something is done says I...

Fire extinguishes debate over historic IBM shop

Paris Hilton

Moth and light

Even here in the UK if dev is planed on an historic site, this seems to aatract a high class of professional arsonist, who ensures the building is beyond repair long before the fire crews get there.

Soon you will be able to order direct from china anyway, why have stores?

Pipex Business calls in the strategy boutique


Pipcali or Tiscapex

Really its just a load of people wanting money and sending the consumer off to the lowest quality late to answer can do nothing support.

They had to change the name as Pipex or Tiscali just says 'Call Centre' to me now, no techies and no point in buying their vapour products.

Anyway now we can associate vialtus with pipex and tiscali

Translate my website... bitch




Das Computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schappen der shpringenverk, blowenfusen unt poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist night fuer gewerken bei die Dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken Sichtseeren keepen das cotton-pickenen Hands in die Pockets muss; relaxen und watschen die Blinkenlichten.

Tiscali bandwidth throttling flub fix flops


It aint the Hoff

With the Hoff pipex could do anything, and now what are they doing, unable to deliver crawling around the floor looking for scraps...

Heathrow PC security probe launched


Teh Windoz?

So pay 50p , download malware, log off, and then the keylogger works on all new customers, whats so new about that?

Sony posts PS3 DivX firmware update



Is this important or even newsworthy, as I was pointed to UT3 yesterday and now wait with my keyboard and gaming mouse at the ready.

And whats a 'specialist' collection, something Horny I assume like Ainsley Harriots guide to making buttons out of antlers?

Old Sony console outsold PS3 in US last month

Black Helicopters

@Iain, Dave

I got a PS3 for £298, I previously posted here that when they hit £298 I would buy one, it was my price point. I did , and i was lacking in any real christmas need.

I have tested some games and indeed Resistance Fall of Man, is impressive, its one of the few.

I have no idea why blu ray is £10 more as its all upscaling technology on the blu ray player anyway?

As for price points, and games etc...

Now is a good time to point out that music/video etc has lost value, and we dont value it any more, wanna see my MP3 collection?

So why not have a set of replaceable disc drives for PS3, download all games at a fraction of the price and be done with it.

Im off on a tangent here.....


Black Helicopters

PS3 I have one for crimbo

I bought a PS3 for £298 and have tested a few game demos, they are almost like PC games only no mouse/keyboard is frustrating on FPS Titles.

The platforms are good, but again the whole aim shoot thing with the PS3 controller is badly flawed.

I like MotorStorm as its a good game, heavenly sword, well its another jump around and slash, conan (see heavenly sword), Need for Speed Series (All the same). PES (Slow and unresponsive).

ratchet and Clank is an unbelieveably detailed game, and is jaw droppingly well scripted, worth playing.

Therefore what the PS3 needs are some decent games and a bit cheaper too, and at close to £40 to £50 a game nobody is going to 'test the water'.

£30 should be the price point the same as a PC game.


419ers flash big bucks cashcard



All of Europe and they pay in dollars?

Im asking my Scottish labour party candidate if this is legal, as it is in an e-mail....

Microsoft's sex-obsessed RoboSanta spouts filth at children

Black Helicopters

You is a Ho!

hans says:

ho ho ho

santa says:

Merry Christmas!

hans says:


santa says:

Now that's not very nice!

Video games blamed for England Euro flop



If it were not for video games Samuel L jackson and all the passengers of the Ocean Pacific would be dead. So there!

Aston Martin to build new model abroad


Not sport old chap

In top gear and other prgrammes the Aston always got the old 'I like this' due to its heritage and its breeding, the engine signed, the leather polished by craftsmen in goold old blighty and the overall feeling of quality.

So their just going to offshore 93 years worth of skill and it wil all work?

I can see two types of Aston in the secondhand market

A) Built in Britain (£60k)

B) Built in turkey (£6k)

The aston lived by its brand, and so shall it die, what a shame its now just going to be a mondeo without a blue badge.

Sony 'not working on a PlayStation phone', staffer states


Web 2.0 Enabled

Is it web 2.0 enabled as thats gotta be worth paying for, whatever it is, oh and is it available in orange?

Info chief renews call for data breach crime penalties

Paris Hilton

Enforceable outside the UK

Can they charge the poor folk in the Indian contact centres where the work is/has moved to?


What about eastern europe where their 'Consultants' outsourced the 'IT type stuff'...

Again nope!

So its a load of hot air!

How HMRC gave away the UK's national identity


Refund of any losses

BBC4 just interviewd HMRC and HMRC will re-imburse any taxpayer who suffers a loss.

Who do HMRC get their money from again?

Darling admits Revenue loss of 25 million personal records


Outsource the lot of em

That way the discs would never get round to getting posted.....

Oh hold on thats exactly what cap Gem are going to do...


And if HMRC reimbuses any losses, well its your money anyway.

Welcome to Britain, wipe your feet on the way out....

NZ bans Brit immigrant's overweight missus


Its not fat is a condition

Apparently some say this obesity is a 'condition' unrelated to eating, does anyone have Sir Bobs phine number, i think I have the solution he was looking for....

BT Vision misses customer targets (by a shedload)

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Your call is important to us

Really? REALLY! well then why make me wait for HOURS?



My time is expensive, if you answer the phone in 1 minute and can hold a conversation with a life form higher than a daffodil then I will think about it.

BT did not, I went with SKY, nice lady answered phone straight away, and gave me a £0 installation.

BT should move to another country, where their poor service and supposed low cost will be appreciated, and its NOT the UK

China hijacks Google, Microsoft, and Yahoo! traffic?


Dear Sceptic

Lets keep this on track...

Somewhere in china something dodgy happened that is ok by the rest of china, the only loosers are Google and Microsoft.

A bit like setting up MP3 hosting in the ukraine, dont see anyone complaining about that.

At the end of the day someone somewhere in China realised that China is not bound by the laws of these 'Capatilist Superpowers' and changed the rules, good on em.

On a serious note what do you think anyone (Not just google and microsoft) will learn from this if anything?

And do they care, I know it does not affect me and like global warming a toss I give not



Heard they have a lot of fasthosts accounts :)

YouTube gatecrashers trash 16th birthday bash

Gates Halo


Facebook has loads of these, cue one Party mood 'charles manson'....

Sun Headline : Ban the interweb!

Sony's 40GB PS3 for Europe confirmed

Gates Halo

60GB = Betamax

So they aint making the 60GB version with its backwards compatibility and its extra USB ports etc...

This means there will be no devices for it then...

So why would you buy a 60GB version, or have I missed a trick?

IBM drops attempt to patent outsourcing

Gates Halo


I get it, you develop software to decode human voices, put them in text to remote workers who help you remoteley.

Why dont we just have text recognition software and 'predictive answers' why waste money on people, on or off shore?

A carbon form-less automated self helping help desk?

Patent 2727262672

And yes it a technical patent....

Sony says no to Euro PS3 price cut


Fly to USA

You can get a transformer /adapter and an 80GB PS3 and a return flight to JFK for cheaper than your local GAME. The world is a LOT smaller that SONY thinks it is.