* Posts by robert cooke

44 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Jul 2007

Intel: Haswell is biggest 'generational leap' we have EVER DONE

robert cooke

Re: 2-in-1 WTF?

having the CPU and GPU in the same physical package.

P2P badboys The Pirate Bay kicked out of Greenland: Took under 48 hours

robert cooke

trying to get a .ie at the moment. the hosting company happily takes your money, then off to the register. oh dear, that's when the hoops come out. but a .it address? not a problem. Italian efficiency, it's better than the Irish.

robert cooke

Didn't Iceland say they'd happily host Pirate Bay? if they like cold northern countries they'll be laughing there!

Microsoft: Hotmail fix coming soon to a browser near you

robert cooke

both of you fail

I've been using hotmail for over ten years, it's my main account. i can get it on my android phone no problem. The nice new interface has worked perfectly for me.

so for AC, stuff has moved on in the last 10 years, this is called progress, being in IT you may have come across it before.

Seanmon, it is available over IMAP, and has been for years.

failing to understand your problems, and no i'm not an MS staffer, or any way connected to them.

Foxconn India closes factory as 250 workers fall ill

robert cooke
Jobs Horns

Maybe they were just overworked?

nice to see it amuses so many people though. After some of the reports of Foxconn's explotation i think a few days in hospital would be some small relief for the poor blighters.

Beeb dubs Facebook users 'saddos'

robert cooke

what are those buttons for anyway?

I see them on lots of web pages but still don't get it. if i read a website and press the facebook button what happens?

Australian firewall wobbles under pressure from all sides

robert cooke

do it after the election

well doh. it's what they do here. I mean it's not like the oposition will be against this, just the population that knows about it. I'm pretty sure the aussie version of demcoracy is as poor as ours. i.e. the bastards do what they want after organising cushy deals for themselves, just ask mandelson.

Facebook forces users to expose or remove connections

robert cooke
Thumb Up

my favourite mail from facebook

Hi Robert,<br/><br/>We have received a request to permanently delete your account. Your account has been deactivated from the site and will be permanently deleted within 14 days. <br/><br/>If you did not request to permanently delete your account, follow this link to cancel this

Police National Database will have audit trail

robert cooke

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

"Chief police officers will be responsible for auditing the activity of their own officers and no user should audit their own activities"

"They will be monitored by HM Inspectors of Constabulary."

so the police and their mates in the HMIC will be making sure everyting is ok. I feel more relaxed already.

Game developer's lost electric buggy FOUND ON MOON

robert cooke
Thumb Up

they must be tossers then.

That's hilarious, get's my vote and luckily i've just cleaned my cofffe cup for tomorrow, or it'd have been all over my keyboard.

'Twitter gives voice to the voiceless' - eg the US President

robert cooke

Thanks Reg!

Another great and wonderful article taking the piss, mind you with idiots like the BBC pumping out such dross it's not too difficult! but thanks anyway, and have a great weekend.

--Coat, it's late. time to go.

Nikon D3s

robert cooke

still happy with my D90

nearly a year later and I still can't fault it. Love the analogy of sports car boot space and video. Nobody that uses the camera properly or professionally will never care about video, it truly is a motorbike ashtray type of feature.

Google, Facebook cop for preposterous patent potshot

robert cooke
Thumb Down


when parasite lawyers stop making millions of pounds out of it. SO not any time soon then.

Brain scanners to be used to 'design' political candidates

robert cooke

Bill Hicks had the right idea

“Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get home take a gun shoot yourself. No bullshit, I'm not joking just do it. I'm just sowing seeds, one day they may take root."

Naomi Campbell bitchslaps NY limo driver

robert cooke

And she's a really good friend of Sarah Brown

says it all really, something about the company you keep? or else they are both hopelss, pointless headline seekers.

UK.gov IT minister makes open source gaffe over browsers

robert cooke

Government Minisiter is an ignorant fool shocker

This is hardly news, everything and everyone in this worthless shower that has the temerity to call it'self a government is hopelessly inept. I'm sure Dave and his crew will be better though </sarcasm>

Aussie man convicted for Simpsons smut

robert cooke
Black Helicopters

I'm not paranoid, but...

Some of these political types are quite clearly paranoid and delusional. I too laughed at the silly pictures, there are in no way erotic and it makes you wonder about the mindset that does think they are porn. It says a lot more about the lawyers than the poor sad aussie that's just been cuffed.

I want to go to a new planet, this one is f*£%£d!

Will a service pack for Windows 7 rock up anytime soon?

robert cooke

i actually like it.

fair enough, i've got a 4 core 3GHZ machine with 6 GB of RAM, but damn, it's good! everything i want to use, some of it going back many years, works well. it boots quickly, and is stable as a rock. i've even updated my netbook, and have no problems with that either.

Cheers M$, after my many years in the industry you're actually releasing some decent software now.

Still waiting for my flying car though....

25kg of cocaine hits Spanish supermarket shelves

robert cooke

OK, who else misread this part?

They tipped them out onto a table and began sifting them

--- misread as; ---

They tipped them out onto a table and began sniffing them

Lithuania hits off switch on nuclear plant

robert cooke

another great idea from brussels

will these idiots not be happy until they've taken everything that works, and then breaks it?

HP probes 'racist' webcams

robert cooke
IT Angle


mmm, so what do you use your webcam for? ;)

Data Robotics CEO change no big deal

robert cooke

@ amanfrommars


Seriously dude, why?

'CRU cherrypicked Russian climate data', says Russian

robert cooke

not long now...

before some takes this sick pony out back and shoots it. Maybe then we can get some sensible debate and proper open access to all the data. no more of these cosy little clubs guarding data that rightly belongs to all of us.

Durham police demonstrate DNA will stuff you

robert cooke

@ Hugo

why not? it's already happened in Tesco's. They refused to sell spoons to a young lady, as they were similar to knives or some stupid answer like that.

From Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

[the Sheriff has said he'll cut out Robin Hood's heart with a spoon]

Guy of Gisborne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?

Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's DULL, you twit. It'll hurt more.

Increase in comms snooping? You ain't seen nothing yet

robert cooke
Big Brother

so much paranoia, should they be sectioned?

the best counter argument for the numpties that spout the nothing to hide nothing to fear mantra is ask them if they have curtains in their house. I usually find that they all have curtains, funny how they've got nothing to hide, but still like a little privacey.

I agree with all of this, as soon as the politicos submit themselves for a full audit.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes... and all that.

Vote now to name El Reg space plane

robert cooke

you guys (and sarah) at el reg are all mad

and we love you for it. this is the sort of silliness that we all secretly love. british eccentricty at it's best. the rest of the world may have nicer mountains, bigger rivers, nice food etc. but we have the best silly people anywhere in the world.

God bless you all!

'Bionic ear' can detect Wi-Fi, FM,GPS signals simultaneously

robert cooke

@ Richard 74

Richard, rage is exponentially stronger, especially if it's gone through the daily mail. a 50 times bigger antenna (that receives, not transmits, these are unimportant details) equates to 5000 times more rage.

Imagine! Government to legislate against badness

robert cooke

section them

are there grounds for having these idiots sectioned? surely two doctors could be found to sign the required certificates.

Isle of Man KKK burns cross on Facebook

robert cooke

I went to that school

Can't remember the head though, he must be new. In Ballakerneen back in '93 out of 1200 students in the year there were only two black people, (they were brother and sister) There were a few chinese kids too.

Leave them to it. it's only 70,000 sheep shagging alcloholics clinging to a rock.

'WALL-E' robot grunt obeys military hand signals

robert cooke

Good to see...

that the Reg is keeping us abreast of the RotM revolution. Can I have a new keyboard please, as this one is now full of coffee, i haven't laughed so much ion ages.

Thanks Reg!

ID and Passport Service brings in ad men

robert cooke
Thumb Down


So I'm not the only person who watched monkey dust! that was an awesome show, I've got all the AVI's and give it to anyone that listens to my rants.

Is this not sickening, how this joke of a government works. with the levels of paranoia running through parliment I think we need an inquiry to see if there is something wrong with their water. people that scared should be in a protective environment (like, maybe broadmoor) not free to roam the streets and make the rest of our lives hell.

I will never submit to ID scheme and would rather go to prison.

El Reg procures OGC mousemat

robert cooke

Entirely appropriate

well i think it's the best logo, in fact it's so good it should be used by every government department. they are quite clearly a complet shower of tossers from the office of the PM down to whichever numpty in greenwich council wants to replace my 5 year old communal door with a £30,000 example that is not required.

UK.GOV, They are all wankers.

BOFH: The PFY's comeuppance

robert cooke

Does it get any better?

"The Swedish volleyball team are visiting a jelly factory just as a fire breaks out, and the sprinklers come on and one of the jelly crystal tanks bursts, just as one of the team members makes an unkind remark about one of the other members hair styles," I reply. "But apart from that..."


Son of 419 victim contacts El Reg

robert cooke
Thumb Down

@ Mike Crawshaw

"It's been sent to an online IT rag"

IT RAG? please, a little more respect for El Reg.

BOFH: The London Underground vending machine conspiracy

robert cooke


and i know, i've read them all.

"No," the PFY says, to my internal sigh of relief given his propensity for conspiracy theories.

"No, it's the Underground that's doing it."


FANTASTIC, Thanks, Simon. You've surpassed yourself this time. I found the BofH in my first IT job 12 years ago. He's inspired me ever since. I've used the solar flares from the excuse card to explain non explainable GPF's.

BofH and The Register, coud there be a coupling?

Ten years old: the world's first MP3 player

robert cooke
Jobs Horns

hahah, ipod.

my friend, bless her wanted an ipod, i told her to get anything but an ipod, but she wanted one "because it's pink" this was 6 years ago, if that's the mentality people have when buying technology is it no wonder apple are still in business?

robert cooke

my poor old rio...

fell out of my pocket on the way home, shame i was riding a motorbike. it was very dead, i recovered it beofre it got splattered by any cars, but it was very dead. now i've got an 8GB sony erricson. 32MB, pah. i threw away the 32MB card from my camera and put a 2GB card in. it's amazing how data requirements have grown so much.

Museum drops Watson talk in race row

robert cooke

@ daid neil

"Using that logic you would argue against religion as fundamentalists might mis-interpret the teachings for violent means."

That sounds like a great idea! show me the emperical evidence of god. or the evidence against the noodly apendeged one.

robert cooke


is this guy for real? can't he be tried under race hate laws or something. I hate to stop freedom of speech but we all know that certain sectors of society will cling to this drivel like combat 18 nutters do to mein kamp.

uSwitch cans IT workers

robert cooke

it was in the article.

"The IT department currently employs about 70"

cunningly hidden in the body of the article.

US wants trucks mounted with frikkin' laser beams

robert cooke

They've already got one working.


it's pretty impressive, but needs to be polished before it can be given to the grunts.

Crazy cyber-jihadi emails planned death for Mayport, FL

robert cooke

Well I'm going to sleep well tonight.

with all these muppets and their bizarre terror fantasies I think we can say the war on terror has been won.

US seeks mini-Imperial Walker mule-bots

robert cooke


I've just watched the MOV file from their site, this machine is too cool. if this is what we can look forward to with the RotM (C) el reg. Then I'm all for it. but instead of carrying a few sad backpacks it should have twin rotary barrel vulcan cannons.

Canadian iPod user struck by lightning

robert cooke

wait for it....

queue the people ready to bad mouth the reg for yet another ipod story.