Posts by Lloyd

Sinclair BASIC comes to Raspberry Pi

Procedures????

Are you mad, it's quite obviously not Sinclair flavoured Z80 if it supports procedures. Line Number calls are where it's at in Sinclairland.

Revealed! Prime Minister's iPad 'dashboard' for controlling Britain

Presumably though

The whole lot's controlled by Angela Merkel?

Apple is Superman's digital Kryptonite

You say sell

But are they "sold" or "leased"?

A history of personal computing in 20 objects part 2

Come on now

What about the Research Machines 380Z? It was the precursor to the BBC Micro in most UK schools.

Mmm, what's that smell: Coffee or sweat? How to avoid a crap IT job

"not leaving you dangling in reception for what feels like an eternity"

Damn right, I once had an interview arranged for 8am (neither of us could do a 9-6 slot) and after 30 minutes of waiting outside a locked building and numerous unanswered calls to the agent I left. Apparently the guy had slept through his alarm and turned up at 8:55 (the agent left me a message telling me to turn back as he was now "in the office"), needless to say I never went back.

LucasArts' Dark Forces

It was a great game

but I could never work out how the hell you got to go mano a mano against Boba Fett (who was allegedly in the game somewhere).

4G: Bad coverage, crap battery life - but at least it's really expensive

Not likely on Vodafone

It's almost impossible to get a decent data signal in most of London with Vodafone, why on earth you'd pay extra to not get a 4G signal is beyond me. I can't speak for other networks and locations but on Vodafone in London you may as well be using 2 baked bean tins and a piece of string to send/receive data and voice.

Apple iPod Nano 7G review

Re: According to the Apple store in Kingston

Thanks for the battery lecture and completely missing/avoiding the actual point of my post.

According to the Apple store in Kingston

The iPod battery is designed to last less than 2 years. At least that's what they told my mother when she went to complain that her battery only lasts 30 minutes, and apparently 2 years is very old for an Apple product she should buy a new one as they don't replace batteries. A statement immediately contradicted by the genius bar when she phoned for an appointment who said they could send her a replacement battery in the post for a mere £60.

Plucky orangutan rescued from encroaching biofuel plantations

Re: Its not just biofuel

I too try to avoid it, it's easy to avoid in food (except when you eat out), the devil is that it's used in so much other stuff, a Royal Pain in the posterior.

Sarah Brightman plans International Space Station gig

To (mis)quote A J Rimmer

"We don't want her. Go away. You took her, you can keep the smegger!"

Perth porkfest crowned ULTIMATE BACON SARNIE

That bacon looks....

a bit ropey to be honest, no rind, fatty and undercooked.

Yet another exec dashes out Groupon's door

Groupon UK

If you're referencing Groupon UK (I know you're not in the article) but if ever you do, don't call them Groupon, call them MyCityDeals, they love it.

WTF is... NFC

All very well and good but....

I've had one on my debit card for about 5 years (at a guess) and I can never find a payment terminal that either accepts it or when it does accept it, works, even the ones at the Olympics (and you'd think Visa might have tried to push the technology a bit more at such a prime event) weren't working 50% of the time. In fact there's only one I know of that has 100% up time so far, and that's my local Costa, shame their staff are so slow.

iPhone 5 Lightning cables sticking in USB ports

Still

I'm sure it looks lovely and people will worship at your feet for owning such a beautiful cable, how are things in Shoreditch?

Neil Gaiman’s saucy pop wife agrees to pay her musicians in money

Sounds like

She's as far up her own posterior as her husband. Don't get me wrong, I like his writing but the word sycophant describes him beautifully.

The iPHONE 5 UNDERMINES western DEMOCRACY: 5 reasons why

I started reading it

And then looked up to see who'd written it as I was grinning at the sheer trolling nature of the article and surprise, surprise, it was Lewis. I'm now starting to admire him, he's somehow managing to make a living writing articles that troll on divisive subject matter. Keep going mate, it's fun to watch.

BT wins £33m Surrey council superfast broadband deal

Sutton or Croydon?

Dredd movie review

Fair enough

I'm still hopeful for it. I think their main limitation is the budget of $40 million, not a lot you can do with that so they tried to do it in a district 9 grimy type thing from what I understand. Also, from the other reviews the views of MC1 are very much restricted to one setting which would leave the way to advance other sectors and blocks. It needs sequels just because Garland wants to do Chopper/Satanus/the Angels for a second and for a third the Dark Judges.

And btw, the ONLY thing good about the Danny Cannon version was the appearance of Hammerstein and that was purely as he looked awesome.

Pirate Bay founder arrested in Cambodia

Well?

“Our ambassador has visited him and he is doing under the circumstances,” a spokesperson for the Foreign Ministry's press service said.

He's doing what? Well? Badly? Cartwheels? Time? Please contact them and ask.

Ten movies inspired by video games

Streetfighter

In fairness I've not watched it so won't comment on how bad it was but seeing as Raul Julia spent most of the film fighting cancer I wouldn't expect a sterling performance from him, not that you did critique him at all, I'm just saying.

Investor pulls out of Facebook, pumps cash into pork-printing joint

Printable bacon

So you could use it like a 3D printer to make such products as pork swords and spam javelins?

Will they be moving onto cows as I'm rather partial to beef curtains myself.

LG making thin screens possibly FOR THE NEW iPHONE

Wot No Samsung?

Surely not? Why on earth would that be?

Darksiders II

Hmmmmm

Darksiders started off okay and just got so damned repetitive I never finished it. Doubt I'll buy this until it goes sub £10 (same as the original).

Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver Universal Remote Control review

You swines

I now have a hankering for a fish finger sarnie.

Intel 330 120GB SSD review

SSD Mounting kit

Can anyone recommend a decent ssd mounting kit that works with a 5.25" bay (one of this nice easy slot jobs with the plastic rails). I ask because pretty much every single one I've looked at so far has got a kicking review wise.

CO₂ warms Earth FASTER than previously thought

Welllllllll......

I like Simon Sharwood but then I like Lewis Page, which one is better?

There's only one way to find out......

FIGHT!!!!!!

HTC disses Dr Dre by diluting Beats deal

Could Beats please design a pair of headphones

That have minimal or no sound leakage, I'm sick of listening to other peoples distorted music on the train.

Hubble spots ancient spiral galaxy that SHOULD NOT EXIST

Isn't that an inverted Manx Logo?

Does that mean that the galaxy doesn't have any webbing between it's digits?

PayPal is bleeding market share and it's all eBay's fault

Can I just add another "they deserve it, they're ****ing useless" comment.

Worse than Jewellery by Gerald Ratner. I've tried to close my account in protest:

"Sorry you cannot close you're account"

Why?

"It's locked"

By what?

"4 transactions by 2 retailers"

Which retailers and transactions?

"TheHut.com - 18372340 & 2389018290

Zavvi - 984303454 & 4534543534"

So I search for those transaction ID's in my account, nothing, ask Zavvi and TheHut, they have no idea, contact Paypal, no response, contact them again, no response, set up a complaint about the lack of response, no response. I only want to close my account ffs.

NASA launches iPhone spaceship app in 3D SPAAAAACE!

This is the same Nasa that always moans about lack of funding????

And yet they still have time and resources to do this? You could make the argument that it'll get kids interested in science but how many kids have a product running ios5? At least the web based stuff can use that argument.

Nutter bans Apple purchases over environmental fudging

Re: "Nutter"?

I concur, it did really come across as a Lewis title didn't it? Lacking somewhat in the "wibble" department but plenty of barking at the moon about it.

Ex-NASA group plans private, crowd-funded asteroid hunter

It's all very well

Talking about blowing up meteors but did no one read Star Stormers when they were kids?

Won't somebody please think of the children?

Brit global warming skeptics now outnumber believers

To quote T2

We're not gonna make it, are we? People, I mean.

It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.

Ten... active camcorders

The Pannie's

I didn't know that Panasonic had taken over the Xacti stuff, I've got an old 1.5 metre water resistant Xacti and it's perfect for snorkeling, I've managed to get rays (very jammy with a manta), sharks, turtles and very other coral and fishy type stuff and it's only packed up once in 5 years ( a day in a bowl of rice sorted that out). Hopefully Panasonic have improved the video in low light as it's bloody useless above ground unless it's sunny. Saying that, my main compact's a TZ12 and it's great in low light.

Vatican subtly shifts its position on The Blues Brothers

Re: Hmm...

Do you have this in a Miss Piggy?

Ten... celeb headphones

Why all the negativity towards Beats?

I listen to them on my daily commute, admittedly they're not mine, generally belong to someone stood 5ft away and spew forth R&B dross but I listen to them nonetheless, I don't really have a choice without putting ear plugs in.

Scots council: 9-yr-old lunch blogger was causing 'distress and harm'

Re: No photos in the canteen

No photos certainly, but did they mention video?

Home Office spunks another £12.8m on face recog tech

£12.8 million?

Don't complain, that's small fry compared to the rest of the money the civil service piss up the wall.

Western consumption helping to kill off species

Re: our universities have gone mental

Bye.

ICO could smack Google Street View with fine after all

Of course they will

In exactly the same way they did with Phorm when the EU came down on them.

10m years ago there was less CO2 - but the Earth was warmer

What's going on?

It seems like Lewis is only posting an article a week, he used to post his comic strip daily, how am I supposed to cope with him writing these spoof pseudo-science articles only once a week? I need a good laugh more often than that.

Plasma drive starts with pee

Rod Boswell??????

An anagram surely? Roswell Bod!!!!! Ahhhh, it's alien tech, quick, get my tinfoil hat!!!!!!!

Pocket

Okay but

Does it work for streaming porn, um, I mean media content, an, um, friend, yes, friend asked?

Sheer weight of Brits' interest knackers new tax tool

Yeah

I tried the site yesterday, down,, so I downloaded the app, quite what it does that 10+ year old pre-existing websites don't already do (apart from a thin veneer of BS about what your money is spent on) is beyond me. Try adding tax on petrol, heating, alcohol, cigarettes, VAT, etc and then give us a figure (i.e. add 20% to the figure that HMRC gave you).

Google's 7in tablet stalled for last-minute tweaks

$199 (£126)????

You're using the proper exchange rate there aren't you? What you meant to say was $199 (£199).

Unions urge under-fire HP workers to 'resist' job cuts

Ever tried using Unite?

You know, like as a "Union", my missus is a member, she started being pushed into a constructive dismissal case, the union failed to turn up to any preliminary meetings and when it all kicked off properly it took them 6 weeks to phone her back, by which point she'd hired a lawyer and settled out of court with her employers (in the end they split her job into 2 roles, which then ended up being 3, but apparently they maintained she wasn't overworked).

Audi proposes PC-packing stunt bikes

Car Companies?

Nah, the bike component companies have been doing it to each for ages, try getting a Shimano hub, dérailleur and chain to work with gears shifts from any other company.

UK mobile broadband carriers compared

Vodafone?

Really? In central London you can get whopping 1Mbs if you're really lucky. They keep texting me telling me I'm not using all of my monthly data allowance, which I think is just them rubbing my face in the fact that I can never get any bloody reception.

Scotland considers dishing out more iPads to schoolkids

Do we have addresses for these schools?

I have a "friend" who's interested in sending their "child" there, probably via a closed window in the dark of night but possibly via the opportunist route and simply walk in and out with what they want.