* Posts by Lloyd

839 posts • joined 22 Jan 2007

Page:

Boffins simulate plasma-eating dusty 'life-forms'

Lloyd

Now hold on

This is just ripped off from the crystalline entity episodes in star trek:tng innit? Bleedin trekkie physicists are just 'avin a larf ain't they? Of course they're nothing wrong with trekkies *backs up slowly and reaches for coat*.

Doctor Who signs up thinking man's crumpet

Lloyd

Please

Just ditch that talentless beached whale Tate and do us all a favour. Bring back Freeman, she can actually act and is very easy on the eye which is a bonus. Tate's about as funny a dose of the clap and couldn't act if her waistline depended on it.

Sacked PlusNet boss blasts BT sale 'stitch up'

Lloyd

Yes, I'm the same Lloyd

That was moaning about the phone mast, very well worked out seeing as it's my screen name, what a mental giant you must be.

We can all produce stats saying how great plusnet are, for example they get great reviews on uswitch, it still doesn't alter my experiences with them and that in my opinion they're shit. By all means stay with them if you want, sing their praises, worship them, do as you will, however I have had problems with them and I think they're cr@p. Isn't it amazing that people like you can't assimilate the concept that other people might have had a different experience to yourself, it must infuriating for you every year when people in your office come back off holiday and you all compare notes.

Lloyd

I don't care

I've just told Plusnet where to stick it as I'm sick of them, 30 minutes on hold before even getting to the call centre isn't customer service by anyone's definition. They proudly boast "all UK call centres", tell you what I'll have an Indian one if it means I can get something done in 2 minutes as opposed to an hour using your pice of cr@p system.

I'm now using Tiscali unlimited getting 3 times the speed, @ £2 less a month and my line rental included.

Yangtze river dolphin is an ex-cetacean

Lloyd

So

If an alien race were to start dumping all of their waste on our little blue/green planet and it obliterated the human race, it would be natural selection would it?

Lloyd

Well

The WWF who funded the expedition reckon it may not be extinct as they didn't cover the entire river, however they also reckon if there are any left it's only 1 or 2 which means it's as good as.

Orange dismantles Bristol Tower of Doom

Lloyd

Yep you can

"You could lose a slice of the price of your house when someone builds a factory next to it, or your house ends up downwind of a turkey farm, or new road is built or an airport extended just far enough away that you don't get compensation."

I'm not debating that. The difference is that current government legislation means that you can only object if the mast is in your primary view (they're not an eyesore if they're round the side or out the back apparently). The case with a factory, turkey farm, etc, is that you have the right to object as they require planning permission, mobile masts under 15m don't need planning permission.

Lloyd

Mast

Yep, objected to it, got up a petition, was invited to a council meeting to put our pov across, they ignored it, I've never seen 30 pensioners form a lynchmob before but the guy from T-mobile couldn't get out of there into his beemer quick enough. I can't sue them, I'd have to sue the council for letting them put the mast up, ther'e only been 1 case of that sort ever brought against a local authority and quelle suprise it was thrown out by the judge. So, as a last resort I may contemplate the "unofficial" route of removing it via the dark of night.

Lloyd

So

No one has a response to my earlier comment then?

Try losing £30k off the price of your house when T-mobile plonk a 15m mast at the bottom of your garden and there's no way to reclaim costs? Anyone? No?

Lloyd

Okay

So how about T-Mobile sticking a 15 metre mobile mast at the bottom of my 80ft garden then? Try selling your house with one of those stuck there!

You can't oppose them unless they're in your primary view and you get no compensation for it reducing your house price by £30k either, all in all it's improved my life enormously.

Customer exodus hits Virgin Media

Lloyd

Well

If it's anything like as poor quality as the old NTL service used to be (we're talking 2 years ago) then I'm not suprised, I moved to Sky because I was sick of the set top box (and we tried 3 different ones) freezing images and locking up.

T-Mobile wants our phones

Lloyd

That being the case

Can they remove the bloody unsightly 15m phone mast they put at the bottom of my garden, and the next time they want to put one up any chance they could inform the residents rather than just ticking the "residents informed" box on the planning application?

£1.2bn e-Borders data mountain spun as gov bonanza

Lloyd

Um, Mike

We do treat the Americans the same way, have you not seen that there's an hour and a half long queue for the yanks to come through at Heathrow? Admittedly we could make them queue carrying heavy weights, sit them in very uncomfortable chairs or something but the old adage "no sense no feeling" will kick in at that point.

Orange launches new assault on English language

Lloyd

Well

I say we put our foot down, Orange are owned by France Telecom and we all know how touchy the frogs get about "Le Franglais". Stop this Frorange gibberish now (in fact stop using the over priced, under staffed, no signalled garlic munchers completely, if the ask why then cite their surrender in WWII as a good enough reason).

Miserable Brits declare War on Comfort

Lloyd

Well

It's another Daily Mail reader writing his little Register Blog: "why the hell should I put a jumper on? It's middle of winter and if I want to sit on my sofa burning off fossil fuels at a rate of knots because I'm too lazy to put a jumper on then I bloody well will! Sod everyone else!!!". You've got to feel pity for them really, too ignorant to scratch their own arses.

Half of European calls to be mobile by 2008

Lloyd

Yep

I make approximately no calls per month but still have to pay line rental so I can have SDSL/ADSL/XDSL, whichever version they're on at the moment. I don't need a landline apart from for the damned broadband.

Scientists uncover lefty gene

Lloyd

Burn them!!!!

Burn the witches!!

MIT in Matrix 'Crowd Farm' plan

Lloyd

Power Stool???

a stool with a flywheel in it - the mind boggles am I on the Viz site by mistake? I'm sure this is listed in the profanisaurus.

Stripogram councillor rocks Devon Lib Dems

Lloyd

Well

She certainly has a face for politics and not stripping.

Mobile-mast danger is all in your head

Lloyd

Well

Whether they're dangerous or not, T-Mobile still knocked £15k off my house price by building one at the bottom of my garden and I can't do a damn thing about it.

Astronauts chuck fridge off space station

Lloyd

Good Lord

Reading the title I thought they'd thrown poor old William Perry defensive lineman for the Chicago Bears out into space.

Crazed NZ fanboy mows down churchgoer

Lloyd

Apple or PC laptop???

Is there a correlation between yelling Jobs' name and the mental illness? Had his Safari browser crashed one too many times trying to run Java applets and caused him to snap? Is there a direct correlation between mental illness and owners of Apple products? Inquiring minds must know.

Brainless civil servant amazes doctors

Lloyd

Touche

I would call you by your given name but I would have to assume some French in you as you have hidden behind the anonymous post mechanism.

Lloyd

French! Civil servant! No brain!

Now there are 3 words that in any combination of two of them make perfect sense.

Conservapedia too pinko? Try Metapedia

Lloyd

Oy, Lester NOOO!

We'll have none of that lefty nonsense on here, everyone knows the only one true online encyclopedia is wookieepedia.org.

Harry Potter and the Chancers of eBay

Lloyd

It's a kids book not for adults

If it was for adults it would be called "Harry Potter and the centaur with the long lean thighs and the.... oh my god would you look at the size of that thing.....".

Burned by a MacBook

Lloyd

Ummm

Firstly, that's quite poor English for a journo.

Secondly, imagine how bad it would have been if you hadn't waved the "but I'm a journalist" flag in their face, they'd have ignored you, so you're not that badly done by.

Thirdly, a word of advice for anyone in this sort of situation, if they don't resolve to your satisfaction within what you deem a considerable timescale then go here: www.companieshouse.gov.uk, it costs a couple of quid to get the home addresses of the board of directors and they really hate being send stroppy letters about how poor their company is at their home address. You'd be suprised how quickly excrement can flow downwards and how quickly things get resolved.

Iowa plans audacious Harry Potter butter sculpture

Lloyd

Well

I'd be more impressed if they made it from man butter but I guess you can't have everything.

British customers miffed at email response times

Lloyd

Yep

My home ADSL's been down since yesterday, I've tried phoning plusnet but gave up after 15 minutes of being on hold, I've reported it through their on-line support rubbish and haven't heard a thing back from them, just as well I'm not on a 12 month contract as they can stick it as far as I'm concerned.

'Suspicious looking' man hauled off translatlantic flight

Lloyd

In response to my alleged playing of the race card

Presumably this guy had some sort of airline ID in order to have got on the plane in the way that he did, which presumably was checked by the stewardesses. Could they not feasibly have radioed in a check on the guy quoting his ID and a description or would that have been in the realms of fantasy? Again, it's down to him looking slightly Middle Eastern, I have quite a few friends that look Middle Eastern and you know what? Not one of them is a suicide bomber (I know it's a shocking fact), and my mum's Irish and she's never supported the IRA, isn't it a terrible state of affairs when people don't fit to their stereotpes?

Lloyd

Hmmm

Be interesting to know if the crew would have reacted in the same way has the gent in question been caucasian.

MySpace succumbs to The Buttock

Lloyd

Eh?

French comedy? Surely that's the trade unions running their country isn't it?

Sun's activity not to blame for climate change

Lloyd

Dammit

Now I'll have to come with another cock and bull theory so that I don't have to get off my fat lazy arse and recycle.

Motorola Z8 'kick slider' media phone

Lloyd

Regardless

At the end of the day it's still a Motorola and the only people to buy it will be the great unwashed in their Burberry who can't afford a decent phone and think the Razr was the height of sophistication.

Man cuffed over Jamie Oliver email threat

Lloyd

Well

" Are you the Cornwall National Liberation Army?"

"F*** off, we're the National Liberation Army of Cornwall!"

Let's get this straight, they want outsiders "orf moi larnd" and presumably are worried about the contamination of their very limited gene pool. Could we not just feasibly move them all to the Isle of Man?

MS Patch Tuesday to include trio of 'critical' fixes

Lloyd

Well

I'd install it but the last critical patches Microsoft released crashed my XP box on 8 or so occasions when I tried to install them which is pretty shit seeing as I'd only rebuilt the box 3 months beforehand. So anyway, can't see myself installing these any time soon.

Torchwood sends inspection team to CERN

Lloyd

Hmmmm

Torchwood is tosh, it spends way to much time behaving like Hollyoaks, who's shagging who, where and why and lees time on the important stuff liek Sci-Fi. I want a paradox where Jack meets the face of Bo and they get it on.

Skin cancer claims sun bed 'addict'

Lloyd

It's a shame

Doctors in this country tend to view skin cancer as something very serious whereas in Oz where people get it all the time it's considered routine. From speaking to my antipodean mates (1 in particular who had a recurring skin cancer) it would appear that UK doctors are pretty ignorant of treatment compared to the Ozzies, we should get some sort of oncology exchange program going.

Police hunt renegade cow sex youth

Lloyd

But surely

you just need to look for a very confused Welshman complaining about the size of the sheep in the vicinity?

Danes tout flamethrower-packing robot 'farmworker'

Lloyd

Oooh

Sounds like Bill Hicks talking about Iraq War 1:

"Farming equipment which they converted into military equipment, okay, you got me I’m curious, exactly what kind of farming equipment is this?“

"Oh okay, well it’s stuff for the farmers of Iraq.”

"Yeah? What? “

"Ooh okay, er well ooh one of the things we gave them was for the little farmer, a new thing we came up with called er the er, flame-throwing rake. Noooo, it was for the farmer, see. He would rake the leaves and then just turn around Boooo. But you know what the Iraqis did with that?”

"There’s no trees in Iraq, what are you sending them rakes for, you asshole?"

“We could have done our research better perhaps yes.”

Scouse builders nab six millionth .co.uk domain

Lloyd

Stolen from PB but.....

Liverpool airport was closed for four hours today after police found a suspicious car parked outside.

It was taxed, insured and still had its radio.

Boom, boom.

O2 gets UK iPhone deal

Lloyd

Well

I'm not fussed, I like my N95, it's probably a lot lighter than the iplop too and I can connect it to a WAN which is much more handy.

Woman arrested for WoW love affair

Lloyd

Whoah

Who knew the graphics in WOW were that good? That Orc pictured at the top looks almost lifelike.

EC wants to suppress internet bomb-making guides

Lloyd

Um

Good luck with that, I don't actually see how they can enforce it or how it would stop someone from getting the info from someone outside the EU via email but hey, these are MEP's - not bright by any strecth of the imagination.

Catherine Tate to accompany Doctor Who

Lloyd

NNNooooooooooooooo (again)

I'll try not to swear but Catherine Tate should be banned from ever appearing on TV, she can't act, her show's dross of the highest order and quite frankly she's as funny as stepping dogshit. That's it, no more Who for me until that talentless cackling wench is off the box.

Doctor Who recruits new sidekick

Lloyd

Well

Couldn't they just send Russell T Davies packing? That last episode on Saturday was diabolical (apart from the face of Bo). Davies seems to write 2/3 parters that press all the right buttons and then to absolute drivel with the ending neither being good or making sense (time cannot unmake itself and if it did no one would remember).

Also stop ripping off other films:

Catching a flying sphere thingy = Back to the future, Emmett Brown plugging the lightning thing in.

Disposing of the Masters body = Blatantly stolen from Darth Vaders funeral in ROTJ.

As for that awful ring ending, ripping off Flash Gordon means that you're really stumped for ideas and need to give up writing for good.

O2 set to ditch handset upgrade lock-in

Lloyd

Pah

I've just told Orange where to stick their contract on an upgrade. They don't offer anything decent on 12 month contracts any more, I'd have to sign up to a new 12 month contract with them and suprise suprise, the phone I want is only avaiable for upgrade (limited amounts with priority given to existing customers apparently). So after 12 years as a customer I've finally left and am moving over to Vodafone and good riddance to be honest.

Portable bots get cattleprod zapguns, hover capability

Lloyd

Well I never

They appear to have modelled the droid in the picture at the top on Johnny 5 from Short Circuit.

How furry is it?

Lloyd

Wasn't

there a CSI episode about this bunch of freaks?

Paris Hilton says jail term has changed her

Lloyd

Agreed

It's not a tech story, it's not even a story about someone with an IQ higher than 50, just ignore this car crash of a human being and focus on the important things in life.

Page:

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR WEEKLY TECH NEWSLETTER

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021