* Posts by Oh Homer

1178 publicly visible posts • joined 18 Oct 2013

Pre-Xmas phone numbers: Apple slips, Windows Phone grabs 1 in 10 new sales

Oh Homer
WTF?

Ten Percent?

That seems barely credible. Whoever this ten percent are, I've yet to meet any of them.

I suspect we're dealing with the Microsoft definition of "sales" here.

Apple asks judge to axe ebook price-fixing watchdog

Oh Homer
Paris Hilton

Re: Poor Apple

My heart really bleeds for this unscrupulous, litigious, 485.89 billion dollar, overpriced-toy maker.

How dare that nasty man force them to conduct business ethically?

Clearly he must be stopped, so that Apple can resume racketeering "business" as usual.

App to manage Android app permissions

Oh Homer
Headmaster

Re: PS

"no one outside this country gives a shit that we split ourselves into four and why should they?"

Because I am not "English".

Calling everyone in the UK "English" is like calling Canadians "American".

Oh Homer
Coffee/keyboard

Bloody Hell!

It's a Miliefsky spam attack!

Is this an indication of what paying victims customers can expect in their inbox?

Oh Homer
Big Brother

Re: "Are you in the same club?"

Well, in addition to being a firmly established member of the Corporate Bullshit Club, and the Revolving Door Club, apparently Gary S. Miliefsky is also a "founding member of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security" Club, which tells us pretty much everything we need to know about the trustworthiness of his "privacy" software.

Oh Homer
Facepalm

Re: "After investing millions into its development"

LOL! Really? I find that very hard to believe. What did you spend those "millions" on, exactly, a Ferrari and a house in the Hamptons?

Funny how the voluntary contributors on XDA can create a far superior app like XPrivacy then release it under the GPL, without needing to "invest millions" or bait and switch the users.

If the development of such a trivial little tool really did cost you millions, that's a very sad state of affairs, and clearly your archaic methods need a major overhaul.

What did you do, outsource it to Fujitsu?

OpenSUSE forums hacked in ANOTHER vBulletin attack

Oh Homer
WTF?

Is it just me, or

Doesn't it seem odd that a Free Software vendor should persist in using a proprietary application with so many security problems?

Red Hat teams up with community-based RHEL lookalike CentOS

Oh Homer
Linux

Re: Free clones

It's simply a "because I can" proposition. Clones only exist in the first place because somebody, somewhere wanted to fork them, and people now want to use them. Expecting them to merge is like expecting people not to have unique preferences and the freedom to indulge them.

I once considered forking Fedora myself, for example, mainly due to the fact that they dropped support for my hardware (rebased from i386 to i686). I ended up using Gentoo instead, which solved that problem and a whole lot more I hadn't even considered up to that point.

Block The Pirate Bay? Arrr, me hearties, new P2P client could sink that plan

Oh Homer
Pirate

Piracy or not

From a purely technical perspective this seems interesting, and of course very useful, for reasons way beyond "piracy" - the liberated alternative to DNS in particular.

I propose they call the first release "Up Yours Cameron".

Amazon, Hollywood, Samsung: PLEASE get excited about 4K telly

Oh Homer
Coat

Re: 4K Streaming?

Same here. I can barely manage 480p streaming on YouTube, never mind 4K.

Plus it only seems like five minutes ago I bought an HD telly, so I probably won't be in the market for a replacement for another couple of decades, if my last one is any indication. In fact I still have a Sharp B&W portable somewhere, circa late 70s, with a "Solid State" symbol next to the rotary tuner. Yes, it still works.

Maybe if we weren't stuck in the middle of The Great Depression 2.0 (are we allowed to call it that yet, or do we have to keep calling it "austerity"?) I might consider pissing away all the money I don't have on Hollywood fads like 3D, 4K or whatever other bullshit they come up with to convince us to pay again for all the films we already own, and it'll take a hell of a lot more than stupidly high resolutions to convince me to buy any of the new garbage that passes for entertainment in Hollywood these days. Maybe if they tried making something with an actual plot I might be more interested, or (God forbid) a film targeted at intelligent non-American adults instead of gormless American teenagers, preferably one that isn't yet another fucking comic-book adaptation.

Excited about 4K? I've been more excited waiting for a bus.

Ten classic electronic calculators from the 1970s and 1980s

Oh Homer
Unhappy

Still missing

Not exactly state of the art, but I sadly miss my long-lost, self-assembly, Sinclair Radionic calculator, circa 1978.

At least I still have my beloved HP48GX.

Haswell micro: Intel’s Next Unit of Computing desktop PC

Oh Homer
Holmes

Re: "The average member of the public"

Anecdotal evidence and personal biases to one side, the metric that genuinely reflects what the public wants is sales figures, and judging by those it's clear that the average member of the public wants small, quiet, mobile, consumer-oriented devices, not anything exclusively tethered to the desktop, especially when their mobile alternatives can also be tethered to the desktop, rendering the consumer-oriented features of actual desktops redundant (e.g. media playback).

Although there's still a significant enough proportion of the general public engaged in content creation and the gaming FPS arms-race to keep the desktop on life support for a few more years, until mobile devices become powerful enough to be genuine desktop replacements.

Personally I don't see any reason not to aim for a single device that can do it all and fit in one's pocket.

ICO to focus only on 'serious, repeat' data-protection offenders

Oh Homer
Paris Hilton

Overwhelmed by complaints

As someone who's been genuinely helped by the ICO on several occasions, including once where it turned out to be my own fault (I provided information I thought I hadn't), they have my sympathy, but I don't think deferring their responsibilities to the private sector is the answer, not least of which because of the private sector's conflict of interests.

If the ICO lacks the resources to deal with the current volume of complaints, well first of all I'd say that's a damning indictment of how bad the problem is, but surely the solution is to provide the ICO with more resources, whilst toughening the punishments for data protection violations, which are clearly inadequate.

Or is that too obvious?

I agree that this bears the stench of lobbying.

Ubuntu desktop is so 2013... All hail 2014 Ubuntu mobile

Oh Homer
Headmaster

Re: "Linux UI"

The assumption that an X server is unsuitable for an Android device, presumable based on the small screen size, ignores the obvious fact that said devices can be connected to rather large HD displays ... as mine is right now.

Oh Homer
Boffin

Re: "Linux UI"

Linux doesn't have a UI, unless you count printk.

The rest is actually completely unrelated to Linux, and comprises a boot manager, an init system and userland tools, which together with Linux you could call an "operating system". Although all of these components, including Linux, are interchangeable with alternatives. For example, Linux can be replaced with Mach, Hurd, Darwin and others, while the userland tools can be either coreutils, busybox, toolbox or a variety of alternatives, and choices of init systems range from OpenRC and systemd to upstart and initng.

Everything after that is purely optional, again interchangeable with alternatives, and also has nothing to do with Linux, but typically comprises a display server, a login manager, a window manager, a file manager and up to about a million applications and games, in various formats, including ELF, Dalvik and others.

The bit that you call the "UI" is probably the window manager (or sometimes a monolithic "DE" that combines several of the aforementioned components), which again has many alternatives, including Gnome Shell, KDE Plasma, Mate, Cinnamon, Sense, TouchWiz, Trebuchet, (stock Android) Launcher, Unity, Openbox ... the list goes on, and on.

Referring to all that as "Linux", then claiming it only exists (or only matters) on a limited and rapidly dwindling range of hardware dubbed the "desktop", is utterly devoid of any meaning. All that really matters is that it's Free Software, and thus can run on any architecture and any particular combination of Free Software operating system components, whether it be GNU and Darwin on PPC, Android and Linux on ARM, Cygwin and ntoskrnl on x86 or any other combination.

Provided the necessary dependencies are included, Free Software can run anywhere. It may interest you to know that there's an X server for Android, for example, which opens up a whole new range of possibilities.

Or as someone else put it, far more succinctly ... what Linux UI?

Snowden: 'I am still working for the NSA ... to improve it'

Oh Homer
Big Brother

Re: Because we can

Because their corporate overlords tell them too.

Spying to defeat fascism is one thing, but spying to advance commercial interests is quite another, exactly the opposite in fact, and this farcical War on Terriers® is little more than gang warfare between those commercial interests and OPEC.

Granted, I'm sure Christian fundamentalism plays a role too, along with an overinflated sense of "exceptionalism".

Worried OpenSSL uses NSA-tainted crypto? This BUG has got your back

Oh Homer
Holmes

Re: More research required

To get FIPS support you need to either use a prebuilt "FIPS capable" version of OpenSSL, which few distros provide, or build it yourself, so the problem is largely moot.

The only prebuilt version I could find with FIPS support is openssl-0.9.8e-22.el5_8.3, which is specifically certified by NIST. An examination of the sources reveals no fips_drbg_ec.c patch at all, much less the patch in question ("t = s;"), and indeed that file is completely missing.

The same goes for Fedora, CentOS, Debian and Gentoo. I gave up checking after that.

It seems you have to go to some effort to let the NSA spy on you in this manner, and by all indications no one has yet done so.

Oi, bank manager. Only you've got my email address - where're these TROJANS coming from?

Oh Homer
Flame

Re: Oh really?

Yes, in my case it was a tagged email alias I'd used to sign up to Interflora, to which I suddenly started receiving "offers" from, amongst others, "The Book Club of Britain".

When challenged, Interflora's typically inept tier one'ers just dismissed it as a problem at my end ... until I got the ICO involved, then suddenly I had their undivided attention, and the problem was ultimately escalated to some regional manager.

It turned out they were using a professional spammer marketeer called CheetahMail (subsequently assimilated by Experian), which had "accidentally shared" my Interflora address, along with those of about another ten million people, with various parties they ought not to have. Being an American company, CheetahMail didn't seem to understand what all the fuss was about, given that America had (and clearly still has) absolutely no concept of data protection whatsoever (the safe harbor provisions didn't come into effect until years later, and even so are highly dubious at best, for various reasons).

In fact I made that point to the aforementioned regional manager, and suggested that maybe they shouldn't be handing British citizen's private data over to furriners not subject to our data protection laws. He appologised and made some vague assurance that Interflora would be "reviewing its relationship" with the spammer marketeer in question. It didn't matter. I ditched the alias and with it my "relationship" with Interflora.

Fool me once...

Neither Snowden nor the NSA puts CIOs off the cloud, it's just FUD

Oh Homer
Thumb Down

A stacked panel of NSA flunkies

Conclude that CIOs are not concerned about the NSA slurping all their customers' private data. Honest.

Uh-huh.

Security guru Bruce Schneier to leave employer BT

Oh Homer
Holmes

Writing for Cryptome too

Bruce also seems to have been responsible for Cryptome's recent Full Disclosure leak, ostensibly authored by "The Adversaries", which is almost entirely about BT, its HomeHub routers and its cosy relationship with GCHQ/NSA.

Having read it, I can now see why his position at BT was untenable. Even if he didn't write that document, he must surely have contributed the highly detailed information upon which it's based. My guess would be that BT and its cohorts are spitting blood.

The proposed solution comprises various security hardening techniques, including never, ever using BT-supplied hardware, using open firmware like OpenWRT, and something that I hadn't heard of before called Tcpcrypt.

Pirate Bay ties up in Peru

Oh Homer
Headmaster

Re: These pirates are thieves, not 'leftists'

Copyright law says otherwise. Indeed there is no copyright legislation anywhere in the world that defines copyright infringement as "theft".

In the words of Justice Guy Newey:

'The fruits of an infringement of copyright cannot, as it seems to me, be equated with the stolen coins. While the owner of the coins will have lost title to the coins at law, the copyright owner will have retained title throughout both in equity and at law,” the Judge wrote.

“A copyright infringer is more akin to a trespasser rather than to the thief of the coins. That leads to the next point: that a landowner has no proprietary claim to the fruits of a trespass,” he added.'

Which is just a fancy way of saying copying is not theft.

"Stealing" requires that you be deprived of the article being stolen, but how exactly does a copy deprive you of the original article, which is clearly still in your possession?

The only thing you might claim to have "lost" is a sale, and even that claim is highly speculative, since you have no way of knowing for a fact that the person who copied your "IP" had either the means or the will to actually pay for it. In the event that he didn't then, even if he hadn't copied it, no sale would have transpired anyway, and since you haven't lost the material that was copied then nothing has actually been lost, either in terms of your existing property or even in terms of a sale. Indeed, even if he did have the means and the will to pay for it, the fact that he chose to copy it instead is still not theft under the law, it's basically a form of trespass.

This is no more "theft" than window shopping. Do shopkeepers belligerently chase after people who look but don't buy, and threaten them with prosecution for "stealing a lost sale"? How about if those window shoppers subsequently buy that same article from someone else, or make it themselves, essentially "copying it"? Would the shopkeeper have a claim then? Which shopkeeper has ever done such a thing, or even contemplated it?

It's ridiculous.

This is the fundamental flaw in the highly opportunistic "IP" business model, which amounts to a sort of unsolicited public recital accompanied by demands for payment, and subsequently all kinds of threats and hysteria if that payment is not forthcoming, a bit like if Al Capone had been a street performer.

Apple's GOLDEN BLING MOBE still the top selling US handset

Oh Homer
Headmaster

Re: @Oh Homer...Total lack of any actual numbers noted

Except in this analogy the metaphorical Ferrari is regularly outsold by the Lamborghini, not just Kias and Hyundais.

And actually I find the comparison between Ferrari and the iPhone laughable. It's more like an Edsel resprayed to look like a Ferrari.

But even that isn't the most significant point, which is that this dubious, unsubstantiated "analysis" has clearly been cherry-picked (if not fabricated outright) to favour Apple, even though the reality, as it pertains to the vast majority of people, is very, very different. None of those people really care who manufactures their phone, they only care that it runs Android, much as most PC users don't care who makes their PC, they only care that it runs Windows (or in my case GNU/Linux).

The analysis itself is sophistry, which is why it requires some disentanglement and counter-propaganda that you might easily mistake for sophistry.

Oh Homer
Headmaster

Total lack of any actual numbers noted

Also, this is only the skewed Mercan market, assuming these non-existent figures are to be believed at all. Worldwide, Android has crushed the iPhone with 81% of the market.

How Britain could have invented the iPhone: And how the Quangocracy cocked it up

Oh Homer
Headmaster

Re: "the I-phone was invented"?

I think you mean smartphone, which was actually invented by IBM in 1992. Multi-touch technology was invented by the University of Toronto's Input Research Group in 1982. This was all many years before Fentem came along.

Ultimately the iPhone was just a product development, not an "invention", and not even unique. Indeed it was beaten to the market by the LG Prada several months earlier.

It should also be noted that at least one half of the most significant technology that made the iPhone possible was government funded (multi-touch for a start), and in reality all of it, depending on how far back into the history of telecommunications you want to look.

Apple iPhone 5s still world's top-selling smartphone – report

Oh Homer
FAIL

Re: "Most users just want a cheap phone"

Really? Then please explain why the most popular Android phone is also one of the most expensive?

Oh Homer
Headmaster

Corporate League Tables

Unless I owned or had shares in any of those companies, which I don't and never will, I don't see why I would be interested in which one is "winning", in fact having any single vendor dominate the industry is bad for competition and therefore bad for me, because it reduces my choices and thus the potential to satisfy my preferences. So I'd much rather have many different companies with many different products all with a more-or-less equal standing in the market, to increase the chances that my preferences will be satisfied.

This "radical" notion is called diversity, although its opponents like to stigmatise it as "fragmentation", because apparently they don't like freedom of choice, or more specifically other people's freedom of choice, especially when any of those choices support preferences different to their own.

And the fact is there is far more diversity in the Android ecosystem than there is in Apple's, or more accurately there is diversity in the Android ecosystem, whereas Apple has almost none, in terms of products, and certainly none at all in terms of vendors. So boasting that a product from a single-vendor monoculture outsells another from a diverse ecosystem is a tad disingenuous, and moreover that fact is of absolutely no benefit to the actual customers, who only really benefit from diversity, not any one company's profits, particularly as they're unlikely to ever see any of those profits (unless they have shares, and maybe not even then).

The fact that the Android ecosystem is by far the most popular (81% of the market, according to IDC) is absolute proof that consumers demand that diversity, and is a far more significant metric than which specific device sells most, for exactly the same reasons that the vast size of the Windows ecosystem comparred to the tiny Mac monoculture is a more significant metric than the sales figures for any single model of PC versus sales of the Mac.

Data Retention Directive CLASHES with EU citizens' privacy rights, says top lawman

Oh Homer
Big Brother

I'm shocked, shocked to find that rights are being violated here!

Yeah, yeah, Louis. The Nazis have been violating our rights for years, but at the time, when everybody else in this joint expressed outrage at the nerve of it all, you said our rights didn't amount to a hill of beans. Not an easy day to forget. I remember every detail. The Nazis wore gray, you wore blue.

But now all of a sudden you're overcome with pity?

Say, this wouldn't have anything to do with Laszlo running off with that secret Nazi dossier, would it?

FreeBSD abandoning hardware randomness

Oh Homer
Devil

Re: "[explaining is] unwise from a legal standpoint"

Curious. I wonder which law that might be?

Has Simtec become the victim of a patent troll?

Thankfully I bought my Entropy Key years ago.

Oh Homer

Re: "You could make a random number generator"

Or the Entropy Key, which at just 36 quid is a helluva lot cheaper than those others.

EC competition chief points troll-hunting guns at Nokia

Oh Homer
Holmes

Re: "Who the hell are these bureaucrats"

They're the one's protecting competition, and thus consumers, from corporate tyrants like Microsoft.

Linux Voice journos hit crowdfunding target

Oh Homer
Mushroom

Re: "This post has been deleted by a moderator"

Strange, I thought Ballmer's flock of shills had been recalled ages ago, after Vole realised they were fighting a losing battle, but it seems there's still a few strays wandering about (apparently somewhere in the southern states, from the right-wing, homophobic tone).

Oh Homer
Pint

Re: I wish them all the best

Ditto.

Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to gloat at the naysayers who hoped the fundraising would fail, and remind the anti-choice nuts that diversity (or what they stigmatise as "fragmentation") is actually a very good thing (except for the anti-choice fanatics and aspiring dictators, who want to impose their limited preferences on everyone else, obviously).

Dell feels cold probe of US Dept of Justice amid Syria PC sales claims

Oh Homer
Big Brother

How did Syria get Dell PCs?

Probably the same way their "rebels" got arms: channeled by the CIA through Saudi.

US Supreme Court to preside over software patents case

Oh Homer

Re: WTF is "Alice Corp"?

It's an Australian business methods non-practicing entity, founded by a patent troll called Ian Shepherd, who presumably named the company after Alice Springs.

Apart from the revenue he generates through extortion, he's also funded by his "partner", the National Australia Bank, which I assume is allowed to practice his "inventions" royalty-free.

Apple's 'Smart Dock' patent filing makes Siri your new roommate

Oh Homer
Paris Hilton

I'm sorry

I do not understand "wine two eye knead a mother purr ethereal wine Icahn juice ass EULA quest on die rectally?'"

Please try again.

Want to code for Google Glass in C#? Xamarin's got you covered

Oh Homer
Linux

Linux, Sans Miguel

I'm surprised that Miguel "MVP" de Icaza is doing anything to help his master's rivals, now that he's gone over to the dark side.

Ford says Microsoft CEO target Mulally not going anywhere

Oh Homer
Windows

Re: cars are not computers

Actually it makes perfect sense that Microsoft would replace someone who merely has the demeanour of a car salesman with one who's actually qualified.

I just hope they don't start actually making cars, because that could get nasty.

SHOCK! US House swats trolls, passes patent 'extortion' bill

Oh Homer
Mushroom

Can't hide behind shell companies

Well that's Nathan Myhrvold screwed, then.

Judge upholds UK ban on HTC phones, but HTC One gets a pass – for now

Oh Homer
Facepalm

Re: "qualified to judge"

Well you'll have to excuse me if I remain unimpressed by the qualifications of those stupid enough to conclude that such trivialities as "bouncing" and "rounded rectangles" should seriously be considered as modern day "inventions".

Oh Homer
Childcatcher

Another bullshit patent

Apparently this "invention" amounts to nothing more than "a modulator using a Gilbert cell" and "at least one low-pass filter".

First, I find it highly unlikely that this was really "invented" by Nokia. Second, I doubt very much that it was "invented" as late as October 1999 (see filing date). Third, something so trivial should not be patentable. Fourth, shouldn't this qualify as one of those "standard essential" things that apparently precludes litigation? And fifth, is something this trivial really supposed to justify banning an already struggling company from the market, thus probably condemning it to bankruptcy?

The more I see patents in action, the more I'm convinced the entire farce is operated by gangsters.

PC market staging a RECOVERY. (Only joking, it's through the floor)

Oh Homer
Gimp

Re: Clasps cap to chest.

Yes, but Microsoft can only make money on "volume licenses" if OEMs actually buy them, and the only reason OEMs would do that is if people buy PCs, which is less and less the case.

Both HP and Dell are in serious trouble, and most of what's left of the PC market seems to have been consolidated into just one Chinese vendor: Lenovo.The market has shrunk drastically, so either OEMs buy a much lower volume of licenses, squeezing Microsoft out of the market, or Microsoft forces those OEMs to buy licenses for PCs they'll never sell, squeezing them out of the market. And as you noted, without OEMs, Microsoft basically has no customers.

Either way, both Microsoft's and Intel's market will eventually disappear. It's already fading rapidly.

If PC sales keep plummeting, I don't see any other possibility, unless the government decides its pet monopolists are Too American to Fail, and bails them out with taxpayers' money, but even that is futile in the long run. The people have spoken: they just don't want PCs any more, and they certainly don't want that joke called Tiles® (or whatever Microsoft is calling it this week), so any measures designed to force them to buy something they don't want is not only pointless but actually sinister.

Expecting this to all just blow over is extremely naive. It's not going to get better, it's going to get worse, unless the PC industry can produce some earth-shattering innovation that magically draws back all its lost customers, which I really can't see happening any time soon. Those former customers already have the one and only "innovation" they really care about: it's sitting in their pocket, it uses neither Intel's processors nor Microsoft's operating systems, and it probably never will.

Game over.

Oh Homer
Pint

Re: Clasps cap to chest.

I wonder what it will take for the "PC's not dead" denialists to finally concede the point?

Not that I have an objection to the desktop computing paradigm per se, I'm just overjoyed that its demise will take Intel and Microsoft with it. Once they're dead and buried, by all means bring back the desktop, just without Intel's juice-guzzling furnaces and Microsoft's dysfunctional monopolyware.

BadBIOS followup story

Oh Homer
Holmes

BadBIOS followup story

Any chance of a followup to this dubious story?

Ruiu made some fairly outrageous claims, which were supposedly going to be proved "when patches for software bugs exploited by BadBIOS are made available".

Since any such patches, or even the proposal of those patches, to open source software would rapidly become pretty sensational public knowledge, and there have been no such developments that I'm aware of, then I assume he's referring to gaping holes in proprietary software, most likely Microsoft's, which given their track record might conceivably take years or even decades to patch, especially if they believe the exploit isn't publicly known.

Personally I'd like to know if Ruiu's claims are bullshit sometime before I die of old age, and moreover I intensely dislike these hit-and-run scaremongers making sensational claims then hiding until everyone has forgotten about it.

I think it's time to shine a bright light in some dark corners.

Pretty please?

French court: Google, Microsoft en ami must say 'au revoir' to pirates

Oh Homer
Pirate

Re: "more pirates are going to prison"

A few down, seven billion to go.

Does the MAFIAA® seriously believe it can stop everyone? And yes, I mean everyone, including hypocrites like you, has at some point violated copyright law. Why? Because it's an immoral and indeed ambivalent law, that criminalises copying and sharing on the one hand, but permits and enforces the monopolisation of derivative works (which would be all of them) on the other.

The "logic" that distinguishes a "pirate" from a legally-sanctioned plagiarist seems to be based purely on the size of one's bank account, and thus one's ability to pay expensive liars lawyers, not on the basis of whether or not anything has actually been "copied" per se, because it's always copied, one way or another. It's simply not possible to "create" anything without at least some degree of "copying".

Copyright is clearly wrong, it doesn't make any sense, and that's why nobody outside the criminal "IP" cartel gives a flying fuck about it.

Oh Homer

Re: The internets have no borders?

You mean those "international telecommunication networks" that we "freetards" Internet subscribers pay for?

But what that has to do with the borderless nature of Teh Internets, "freetards" or anything else, I'm not sure. I have to pay to make a phone call or send a letter too, that doesn't mean I'm not free to do so.

I think you must be one of those materialist-obsessed nuts who's incapable of distinguishing between freedom and money.

For example, censorship in China, Iran, North Korea and other totalitarian regimes, like the UK, has nothing to do with money. Similarly, the reason the oppressed people of those regimes circumvent that censorship, using a variety of methods (much to the chagrin of those regimes' respective dictators), has nothing to do with money either.

But please carry on screaming gibberish about "freetards", if it makes you sleep easier.

Oh Homer
Pirate

Mon Dieu! Sacrebleu! C'est d'la marde!

However, thankfully Teh Internets has no borders, so unless the MAFIAA® gets its wish for a One World Government (euphemistically referred to as "multilateralism"), thus assuming dictatorial control over every country, they're pissing in the wind.

EC trade secrets plans: Infringing kit may be DESTROYED by order

Oh Homer
Headmaster

Re: "Patent protection expires"

Good. That's just as it should be. In fact it needs to expire much sooner or, better yet, be completely abolished.

The practical difficulties associated with monopolising something that is, to at least some extent, derivative work, and thus blatantly plagiarised and stolen from other people, is likely to engender about as much sympathy as a bank robber bemoaning the fact that it's difficult to rob banks without a shotgun.

Oh Homer
Pirate

Re: "My invention"

Well, if it really is an "invention" then surely it's patentable, so it doesn't need to be a secret.

On the other hand, even those things that are patented are always derivative to at least some degree, and therefore cannot justifiably be monopolised (unless you can demonstrate that you've suitably compensated every single contributor to "your" work), so I'm at a loss to recommend any course of action that's both viable and ethical, beyond merely working for a living like everyone else.

Sick to death of Xmas? Try these explosive gift ideas

Oh Homer
Paris Hilton

"Huge Capacity Stadium"

Cracks me up.

Thank you, Lester Haines, for entering that particular double entendre into the vernacular, and full credit to Zaha Hadid for her inspiration.

Brit-boy Bates is Silicon Valley's pick for Microsoft's CEO

Oh Homer
Trollface

Sillycone Valley's prick for Microsoft's CEO

Here's my Top 10 most suitable pricks for the job, in reverse order:

10. Dead Steve Jobs (hey, even a corpse can't do any worse than Fester)

9. Carly Fiorina (ditto)

8. Larry "Everyone Else Must Fail" Ellison (because ... everyone else will FAIL. Obviously)

7. Keith B. Alexander, director of the NSA (they practically already own Microsoft anyway)

6. Tom Cruise (because he likes cult scams, and is "the only one who can really help", after all)

5. Sarah Palin (for having a similar sense of "diplomacy" and "ethics" as Fester)

4. Nyan Cat (pointless, monotonous and disturbingly compelling, just like Windows)

3. Richard Stallman (because he'd emancipate all that oppressed, proprietary software ... then do nothing with it for 20 years, until people abandoned it, moving on to something better. Finally!)

2. Russell Brand (Master of the Art of popularising and selling unpalatable concepts, word-salad bandit who'd give even the most hardcore marketese-gibberish linguist a headache, and all-round funny guy)

1. Gene Hunt (fictional character and notorious "armed bast'd" who bears a striking resemblance to a Mancunian version of Fester, both in attitude and demeanor, albeit with more hair)