* Posts by goldfish

27 posts • joined 11 Oct 2013

These are the droids you're looking for: Softbank launches Japan cafe staffed by bots


I Want to see the manager

So.... If the sushi comes deep fried, or the rice is rock hard, who do I complain to...?

Can I ask for the manager, and if I do, will a killer droid with machine guns for arms come to "take care" of my complaints...

Butcher breaks out of own freezer using black pudding


Wot !!! No haggis ??

I can't believe a butcher would not have a good sturdy haggis in the freezer.

One blow with that, and he'd have knocked the door off it's hinges

World's first dedicated computer centre declared 'irreplaceable' by Historic England


Good News Week

So very glad to hear that a piece of computing history has not been sacrificed to the alter of the money grabbers.

It is not often that commen sense prevails, so it is refreshing that something this important has survived.

Let's hope this could be the start of a trend, but that's probably too much to wish for.

The ultimate full English breakfast – have your SAY


Is it my imagination, or have I missed the following in the list

- Haggis

- Potato Scone

- White Pudding

- Fried Pancake

Renault goes open source with next-gen electric buggy you might generously call 'a car'


Another string to the bow

Is Waymo related to Flymo, and can it also cut the lawn for you ?

Tesla whacks guardrail in Montana, driver blames autopilot


Real Reason

"A big boy did it, then ran way......."

BILLION YEAR SECRETS of baking hellworld Mercury UNLOCKED by NASA probe crash


Could we be Mercurians ?

"Those tiny signals revealed that Mercury’s magnetic field is very ancient, at least 3.7 billion to 3.9 billion years old. The planet itself formed around the same time as Earth, just over 4.5 billion years ago."

Just suppose life started on Mercury when the Sun was not a pure melter, and as time went on it heated up, and the Mercurians thought, "Cop this for a game of soldiers, let go somewhere cooler!"

And there just happened to be this handy little planet nearby, with just the right environment and occupied by large meat based occupants (handy food supply).

And the rest, as they say, is history

El Reg mulls entering Robot Wars arena


Re: Deadline

I think it would be more likely to be Rocky vs Terminator 2 --- guess who wins

Planet-bonking rock hunt armed with humanity's cruellest weapon: bureaucracy


Scale of destruction

I think they should adopt a sliding scale of objects which they don't find


mostly harmless

nearly harmless

almost harmless

not harmless

more than not harmless

definitely not harmless

should be noticed

definitely should be noticed

how on earth did you miss this !!!

just as well it missed us

perhaps it is true, that ignorance is bliss

Coding with dad on the Dragon 32


And my Machine was a BBC micro as well

I loved my BBC micro, at the time the BASIC programming was leading edge, you could download programs on to your tape recorder from a BBC radio program (and they sometimes worked !!!).

My favourite was the racing cars one.

I also thought the sideways ROM chips were mega cool and I had a word processor and spreadsheet which I used regularly.

To run the programs, as I recall, you preceded the rom with an asterisk, so *W kicked the word processor program into life and *C brought the spreadsheet onto the screen faster than some prgrams run today.

I also had the space adventure Elite which was so far ahead of it's time... (sigh.. happy days)

Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg


Star Trek finally arrives !!!

So I press this start button and it will transport me where ?

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg


Dave from IT wins the bet.

Well it looks like Dave from IT has won the bet.

No-one would have thought he'd convince the new girl that was how you started the laptop with Windows 10 installed

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg


What's this 'ere ?

If only they'd gone to Specsavers....

(aimed at the U.K.)

Another chance to win a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive


I've got you now, Little Miss Muffet !!!!


What do you mean, you wanted a parrot ????

Get whimsical and win a Western Digital Black 6TB hard drive


Famous Phil Collins TV ad

Are you SURE this isn't a bar of chocolate ???



Re: A baseball can do 30 megatons of damage?

I seem to recall reading, a large number of years ago, that there was a Project Daedelus proposed where we would head off at near-light speed to reach the stars.

If we detected something ahead of us, the craft would send out a fine mist, which, travelling at just below the speed of light, would smithereenerize (is that a word?) anything in it's path.

The craft would then sail serenely through the mist + pulverised remnants and carry on its way.

Say 'cheese'! Cassini probe ZOOMS IN on Saturn's craggy Dione moon


If they built cars, buses or planes to the quality and endurance of these space probes, we'd only ever need 2 or 3.

Wait a minute, didn't they say that about computers ?

Oi. APPLE fanboi! You with the $10k and pocket on fire! Fancy a WATCH?


Re: Hmm...$10,000...

I've got my trusty Casio F-91W, which is waterproof to 10 metres, so I'll drown before it will

NASA closing on fix for Opportunity rover's 'amnesia'


If only industry made more products which can last as well as the Rover, we'd have 300 year old cars, smartphones that were invented by Alexander Graham Bell, submarines by Jules Verne and the everlasting Gobstopper by Willy Wonka.... sigh...

And they'd all still keep working.

Mock choc shock: 3D candy printer is good news for sweet-toothed swingbellies


Hershey stands for a unique chocolate flavour..........

I remember I was over in the States for the first time, and bought a Hershey bar, thinking it would be like a Cadbury's Dairy Milk

was I ever disappointed......

Now if they come up with a Cadbury's 3D printer, I'll be in the queue

El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.


AAAAARGH!!! What has happened to El Reg ???

I almost logged out, as I thought I'd come to the wrong site.

Then I almost logged out as I thought someone had hacked into your site and gone berzerk.

I realise that El Reg is a bleeding edge journalistic site, but that doesn't mean you have to go art nouveau with your site

NASA prods sleeping New Horizons spacecraft: Wakey, wakey, Pluto's calling


Re: PLUTO.......Planet, planetoid, Celestial Body or what?

So it's definitely not a dog then ?

UK.gov quietly slips extra cash to self-driving car trials


driverless cars?... is that different from brainless drivers ?

I hope these four "lucky" guinea pig areas were chosen, because of the high calibre of drivers who will have gathered sufficient intelligence from dodging pedestrians / cyclists / taxi drivers to be able to add "driverless" cars to their list.

Devs: We'll bury Candy Crush King under HEAPS of candy apps


Why don't they give it a name with proper spelling, like "confectionery crumbs", or would that not be legal either ???

Hadron Collider urinal cake tale wins El Reg's LHC book giveaway


Congratulations Edwin, a worthy winner, and long may your fragrance linger........from Shadowman

Watery asteroid discovered 150 light-years off hints at habitable worlds


*** Exclusive - New Death Star weapon discovered ***

Well, it looks like the Death star no longer needs to blow a planet to bits, it just nudges it towards the nearest white dwarf, then runs in the opposite direction...


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