Posts by Tromos

Brexploitation? Adobe gets creative with price hikes

Vote for Bugxit

Expunge every last trace of Adobe Software and rejoice in vastly improved system security.

Openreach appoints former TUC head to independent board

TUC?

They must be crackers.

Northumbria Uni fined £400K after boffin's bad math gives students a near-killer caffeine high

300 cups of coffee

Wow! A weeks worth all in one go!

Verizon waves its IoT credentials, boasts of adopting US-centric one

NHS wearables.

I'm not sure the smart truss will really achieve success.

One BEEELLION dollars: Apple sues Qualcomm, one of its chip designers

If Apple were to get the billion...

...would they be passing the money on to their customers? I suspect it would just add to their already bloated margins.

Wi-Fi for audiophiles: Alliance preps TimeSync certification program

Opens up a new market for gold plated oxygen-free Wi-Fi routers.

Microsoft goes retro with Vista, Zune-style Windows Neon makeover

Re: At least they're trying!

Extremely trying.

Not OK Google: Tree-loving family turns down Page and pals' $7m

Worth a lot more than $7m...

...as soon as the advertising hoardings for Bing go up all round the border.

Huawei Mate 9: The Note you've been waiting for?

GPS?

Most reviews (especially Reg ones) totally skip the GPS, which to me is more important than the camera. How good is it at acquiring (and holding onto) a fix? How many and which of the satellite constellations are supported? Does it even have a GPS? Given the number of apps that use location, it can't be only me that wants to know.

Surprise, surprise. BT the only Universal Service Obligation provider in town

Re: Nationalise openreach

That's all we need.

"National cable apologises for the cancellation of your broadband service. This is due to leaves on the cabinet."

Adobe fined a whole million dollars for 2013 mega-breach

Damage limitation

At least there won't be any damage to Adobe's reputation for security. They don't have one.

Smartmobe made 'intermittent bright flashes and a hissing noise' in Biz class seat

Re: My phone gets switched off before boarding

"Good thing they don't have internal batteries. Ah......."

And, yet, the Kindle has not acquired a reputation for living up to it's name.

Whinge on: T-Mobile US docked $48m for limiting 'unlimited' data plans

Wrong!

"When broadband providers are accurate, honest and upfront in their ads and disclosures, consumers aren't surprised..."

Not so. I for one will be bloody amazed if the day ever comes when broadband providers are accurate, honest and upfront in their ads and disclosures.

Coming soon to smart home devices? Best Before labels – with patch cut-off dates

Re: C-Bus

I disagree. Internet fridges are a great idea. Just one question. How do I upload and download my food?

Re: It's insidious

Presumably because the IoT controlled alley lighting has been pwned.

Juno probe has tech trouble, cancels orbital re-adjustment

Still using valves?

I would have thought it would all be at least transistors by now.

Queen Lizzie awarded good behaviour medal

The Queen HAS got a criminal record

Des O'Connors greatest hits

Like it or not, here are ALL your October Microsoft patches

Like it or not

That would be 'not' then.

When Pornhub meets the Internet of Fridges

Pornhub fridge

Where else would you take the hot chicks to chill out?

Super Cali: Be realistic, 'autopilot' is bogus – even though the sound of it is something quite precocious

In the UK...

...these would be advertised as "up to autonomous".

I want to launch thousands of drones, says Facebook's flying Wi-Fi router chief

Flying botnet

It will be hacked within days

Londoners react with horror to Tube Chat initiative

Whoever came up with this idea...

...needs a right good talking to.

Pokemon NO! Hospital demands ban on virtual creatures after addicts invade private wards

Enterprising pub

Seen on my travels - sign outside a pub proclaiming "Rare Pokémon in beer garden"

USB-C is now wired for sound, just like Sir Cliff Richard

I'm holding out for USB-D

Includes power generation, processing and memory, and display technology. All you need is the cable - no need to plug it into anything!

Ordinary punters will get squat from smart meters, reckons report

I'm hoping...

...there's a tiny hole in the side where inserting a straightened paperclip resets the billing to zero.

(Using insulated gloves just in case)

BBC to demand logins for iPlayer in early 2017

Smart TV no more

Over the past couple of years I've observed my Samsung smart TV losing feature after feature as Samsung shut down services and fail to provide updated apps. Looks like iPlayer is going that way too as I can't see Samsung suddenly releasing an updated version that handles a login for older models of TV. The TV is otherwise fine and is a good (IMHO) 46 inch LED panel that I have no plans to replace for the next few years. The computer is out of the question as Adobe software is blocked at every possible level. Do I get compensated by the BBC for loss of services?

It's Pablo Pic-arsehole: Turner Prize wannabe hits rock bottom

Re: Next year

"£40,000 will come in handy...."

You'll need a couple of trucks. More than half the prize money will be in 1p coins.

British bloke bailed after 'hacker plunders Pippa Middleton's iCloud'

Not an auction, but the highest bid gets the goods.

If fond guilty, he shouldn't be jailed, just imprisoned for a few months.

R2D2 delivery robots to scurry through the streets of San Francisco

Passing resemblance to R2D2

Basically a dustbin on wheels then.

Man accused of $180k ass-based gold smuggling scam awaits verdict

Usually the other way around.

The hole with the mint in it.

Nork server blunder leaks Kim Jong Un's entire DNS – all, er, 28 .kp domains

Everyone knows you only need two, pron and cats

Ah yes, entertainment and the food channel.

Apple seeks patent for paper bag - you read that right, a paper bag

Another Apple tax avoidance scheme

They'll stop at nothing to avoid paying the government's plastic bag tax.

Legend of Zelda cracked with 6502 assembly language glitch

Re: Things have moved on.

"These days, we use advanced, high level languages like C to do exactly the same thing..."

And we need to spend less than half as much for the memory to run it. Mind you, that is 8 gigabytes now as opposed to 8 kilobytes then.

MoD confirms award of giant frikkin' laser cannon contract

When...

...is the contract for the giant shark being put up for tender?

EU ends anonymity and rules open Wi-Fi hotspots need passwords

Mr. Junkyard has just announced plans for all public spaces in Europe to be equipped with free wi-fi. That's going to work really well in conjunction with this ruling.

Great British Great Bake Off gets new judge

None of the listed candidates is really shouty enough for a C4 presenter, but my vote goes to Ballmer as a bit of chair throwing could liven the proceedings up.

It actually will be Obama who decides whether to end US government oversight of the internet

Taking over the Internet

Iran or Facebook? That's a tricky one.

Delete Google Maps? Go ahead, says Google, we'll still track you

Does the app...

...tell you where the toilets are? No other reason for going into a Macdonalds that I can think of.

Apple: Crisis? What innovation crisis? BTW, you like our toothbrush?

"simply a swanky status symbol"

I'm fairly certain there is one 's' too many in the above description.

World eats its 10 millionth Raspberry Pi

About 20 pounds too much.

They should be ashamed of the unashamedly premium price. The success of the Pi is largely due to the brilliantly low price for a pretty powerful board. Adding bits at prices that can easily be matched or beaten just results in lessening the reputation for value that the Pi has deservedly built.

Inside our three-month effort to attend Apple's iPhone 7 launch party

Have you stopped beating your wife?

Try asking Apple a few loaded questions (some variation of the title above). You will either start getting some replies or will be in an excellent position to produce articles such as:

"Apple refuse to provide a date by which the exploding earphones problem will be rectified."

Hollywood offers Daniel Craig $150m to (slash wrists) play James Bond

Some Formula 1 people may soon be available

Jenson Button has the looks and fitness for the 007 role. Bernie Ecclestone wouldn't even need to rehearse for the megarich supervillain part.

Microsoft thought of the children and decided to ban some browsers

Starbucks

The Windows 10 of coffeehouses.

What the hex is up with Jupiter's North Pole?

@moiety

Is this the same article that starts by saying "Jupiter has a colossal hexagon at its North Pole."?

Windows 10 now rules the weekend, taking over from Windows 7

Meaningless

This is a lot less to do with people 'adopting' Windows 10, more due to the majority of new laptops coming with 10 pre-installed. The large lead Android has, again, is down to the ratio of phone and tablet sales to those of PCs and laptops.

Most home users are only concerned with getting an appliance that runs Facebook/Twitter/Skype or whichever piece of twattery is currently de jour. The OS behind it all doesn't come into the reckoning.

US spectrum auction falls short by, oh, you know, $66bn thanks to tightwad mobile giants

"...a way to gain valuable new spectrum..."

And for their next trick, they'll be adjusting the gravitational constant.

Ankers away! USB-C cables recalled over freakin' fried phone fears

Stupid spec

Should never have allowed anything other than 5 volts delivered down a USB cable. Any kit requiring something else should be responsible for providing step-up/down.

Labour's Jeremy Corbyn wants high speed broadband for all. Wow, original idea there

With policies like that...

...I foresee the ballot boxes being 'ram-packed' with votes for him.

Europe to order Apple to cough up 'one beeellion Euros in back taxes'

Re: Hehe

If the EU want to retain tariff-free access to the UK they will need to make some concessions. Losing the rebate is massively overcompensated by not having to make the payments we get the rebate on in the first place. Your figure of 80%+ seems to be pretty much all guess and very little education.

'Second Earth' exoplanet found right under our noses – just four light years away

Right under our noses - 4 light years away

Is that you, Corbynnochio?