I'm glad you feel you have proper support.
Years ago, in the nineties, a friend of mine lost his brother. Heart-attack the family said at the time.
Then, five years ago, my dear friend suddenly passed away. And during the service I learned two things: 1) Suicide. 2) ...just like his younger brother.
About two years before that, he told me he had checked in to a psychiatric clinic. He met a woman there who seemed fairly okay. I tried keeping in touch, but he had a habit of not returning my calls, so I figured I would give them some space. And he became a father again. Besides, we lived 400km apart at that point, so it wasn't as if I could just pop over to check on him.
I honestly thought he was doing okay. I did hear a rumor that he maybe had split up with his gf, but I didn't take that rumor seriously, and figured he would give me a call when he felt up to it. I was about to build a house near the coast and had already told him to pop by when it was done.
I dunno. I miss the guy a lot. So if any of you are thinking of doing something similarly stupid, think of those around you first. Try reaching out. And please do not assume people automatically realize something is up. My friend was one of the most brilliant people I have ever known, and I assumed he had everything sorted.
