Posts by Grade%

Quit worrying about killer robots, they are coming whether you like it or not – and they absolutely will not stop

R. I. P. H. Ellison

I have no mouth and I must scream. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Have_No_Mouth,_and_I_Must_Scream

Microsoft still longs to be a 'lifestyle' brand, but the cupboard looks bare

Win 10 :(

Made a lot of us sad. MS broke the covenant of an OS purveyor to respect and protect our trust.

They want back in? Stop the snooping. Stop the unwanted intrusions.

Please.

Windows 10 Springwatch: See the majestic Microsoft in its natural habitat, fixing stuff the last patch broke

Here, here! *claps*

LESTER gets ready to trundle: The Register's beer-bot has a name

Re: In loving memory

"LESTER needs to be given the ability to deliver snacks with the drinks."

A packet of crisps should be popped out in a random direction upon upon delivery of libation -- might make for a fun betting game in itself.

Once it runs out crisps a card could pop up with a nice "ding" with the statement "Run Out. Please ingest this card to stave off collapse. No further crisps until restocked. Sorry."

Facebook previews GDPR privacy tools and, yep, it's the same old BS

Join the revolution!

If there was ever a publication that could dispense with FB then this has to be it.

It is time.

#deletefacebook

Grindr: Yeah, we shared your HIV status info with other companies – but we didn't charge them!

Without irony.

Fucking assholes.

A good moment to share: http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/InSite?page=md-expert-spinelli

Nutshell? To Whit: "Drs. Matthew Spinelli and Monica Gandhi examine the evidence that persons living with HIV who have undetectable viral loads on effective antiretroviral treatment have effectively no risk of passing the virus to an uninfected partner."

I have no desire to inflame a discussion. The above is only offered as information should anyone not be aware of it. It's seminal and important.

Okay, seminal was intentional.

Mine's the one with the condoms in the pocket.

Any social media accounts to declare? US wants travelers to tell

New punk song...

Trump the USA! Trump the USA-A!

Google can't innovate anymore, exiting programmer laments

Re: Well...

"The gal responsible for that left."

And the lad hired to replace her is in the loo playing with his mobe

Microsoft patches Windows to cool off Intel's Meltdown – wait, antivirus? Slow your roll

Someone cue the goddamn carousel music.

Please. Thanks. I'll bring enough voodoo rattles so everyone can get in on the dance.

So, tell us again how tech giants are more important than US govt...

Re: Applying pressure on Twitter

"There wouldn't be anything the government could do about it"[...]

I wouldn't be too sure about that. El Trumpo could well declare Twitter a strategic national resource and have it nationalized. After all who uses it to effect? Trump of course. Who is the most important person in the world? Trump of course.

There's even the national security angle to consider. All that lovely meta data. I suspect if the threat to leave were made...we would see, something interesting. ;)

citation: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/13/business/worldbusiness/13iht-nationalize.4.16915416.html

Mine's the one with the FM 21-76 in the pocket.

Blame Canada? $5.7m IBM IT deal balloons to $185m thanks to 'an open bag of money'

As a Canadian...

Sigh. Sorry.

Surfacegate: Microsoft execs 'misled Nadella', claims report

Re: When MS Was Good

Indeed. :)

Revealed: The naughty tricks used by web ads to bypass blockers

Re: Why the headline change?

"Naughty" to suggest an act of a miscreant schoolchild perhaps? I just shrug and and go, "Oh those Brits, doing British things."

Cute, really. :)

Koh-no! Silicon Lucy blocks Qualcomm from wriggling out of FTC's chip monopoly trial

Re: SEP = Standard Essential Patent

Oh. So it's not a Standard Existential Problem?

*sigh*

You know this net neutrality thing? Well, people really love it

Do not discount the power of the written word.

I was going to try and be funny. This isn't funny. As a Canadian, it pains me to have our neighbours ostensibly being hijacked to a strange surreal land where they use words like "free" and "democracy" but they don't seem to mean what we in the English speaking world generally take them to mean.

If you are a citizen of the United States, I urge you with all the stretched tendons of my being to write to your representative. I urge you to urge others to write. I urge you to urge the ones you urge to urge and write and write. Send a tsunami of mail to your government and TELL them that this will not stand.

The real truth of the world? A pen in the hand of a determined citizen is true power. Use it. Save your online world.

We know you can do it.

Drupal sci-fi sex scandal deepens: Now devs spank Dries over Gor bloke's banishment

Oh Canadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa We are number ONE!!!

Pierre Elliot Trudeau's famous words of pith are equally applicable the rest of you scurvy lot: http://www.cbc.ca/archives/entry/omnibus-bill-theres-no-place-for-the-state-in-the-bedrooms-of-the-nation

If it ain't hurtin' (less'n that be the bag ye be lookin' for and ye find the hurtee and hurter ye be like'n) 'n' they ain't flagrante in the public square...keep your nose out.

As Archer would say, "How hard is that?"

And if that got/gets you hard, then we'll find the shit that shuts you up. Totally joking. Not. Yes. No. No. *nod*

Google to Chrome-plate our shops with creepy mood-sensing AI signs

I had hoped to die before this.

Welcome to the future John Anderton: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBaiKsYUdvg

Ad men hope blocking has stalled as sites guilt users into switching off

I bought your tshirt.

Very nice it was too. "The Register" Lovely. It does mean I have no compunctions regarding the use of the topic in question. Thank you for not blocking me. :)

HBO slaps takedown demand on 13-year-old girl's painting because it used 'Winter is coming'

There is no such thing as bad publicity.

Think about it.

"Hey, how can we get into the public eye?"

"Some developmentally challenged child used our catch phrase in Australia."

"Perfect. Release the lawyers."

Netflix and fill – our coffers: Canada mulls taxing vid streaming giant 5% of subs cash

Hey look everybody! My VPN started working with US Netflix again!

Canadian subscribers? We only have 1999 of those. Yeah, they all live in Newfoundland. The suckers.

User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Re: Can you hold down the power button

I think for some users they live in holy terror of pressing the wrong thing and destroying not only the day's labour but wiping all the computers on the lan. So, when it comes time to be aided, they curl up in fear and need the soothing voice of knowledge to gently guide them and let them know that no; pressing that button with letters 'e', 's', 'c' won't launch Odin's javelins to impale them where they sit.

Or not.

Google's new VR Daydream View will cripple your phone

Re: not a big problem

Just add a couple of heat pipes to this: http://pictures1.kyozou.com/pictures/_19/18555/18554876.jpg

Perfect.

Reg meets 'Lokihardt', quite possibly the world's best hacker

Re: Can I ask a stupid question?

IANAL, but "intent" would come into play -- I believe there is dispensation for being a security "researcher. Elimination of that allowance by the DMCA has proven to be problematic for American academics. https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/jul/21/digital-millennium-copyright-act-eff-supreme-court

Not a complete answer to your question, a place to start.

The Reg seeks online community manager

The Reg practices shark jumping.

W. T. F. (and here I thought only the USA had fallen into another universe)

AT&T wants Time Warner

Did Someone order a DeathStar?

That'll be 100bn please. Plus tip.

Ugh.

Drone exercise will transform future naval warfare, says Navy

Re: Inconvenience them into surrendering

Great. War reduced to "glitter" bombing. Hmm, I liike it.

NIST: People have given up on cybersecurity – it's too much hassle

Re: Bad prognosis

"Standing on Zanzibar"

Have an upvote my literate friend.

After the telemetry cow flop

Landing over and over and over on all our sundry machines...and the Wonkanets

from the chocolate factory following and slurping, not to mention the alphabet agencies...well, an honest hack seems, um honest.

Sigh, time to check how many grams have been removed from the new and improved box of cereal.

What's up, Zuck? FTC to probe Facebook for WhatsApp phone number mega-slurp

Re: Bright Side

Re: "....... yet."

Damn mind readers are everywhere.

I'd like to get off this slippery ding dang slope.

Google scraps its Project Ara modular smartphone wheeze

Ara?

Oh, that had to go once someone suggested an SD card module.

A bit of consternation in the Google boardroom with the directors looking at each other until in unison: "Kill it!"

Windows 10 Anniversary Update is borking boxen everywhere

Re: Schrödinger's Laptop

"Nooooo! You need to get a cat to do it!"

You can tape sticks to its paws so it will look like it's doing it itself!

Video and post it on YouTube!

I smell a viral winner!

Microsoft adds new 'Enterprise Products' section to privacy policy

I am lazy.

But yesterday I installed my first linux in a virtual environment...to learn the ropes. And soon, very soon, I will be comfortable.

Windows 10 Pro Anniversary Update tweaked to stop you disabling app promos

Re: I'm looking for a new laptop

"There are quite a few nice machines out there, it's the OS that's the problem ........."

Yeah. Win10 is a deal breaker. :(

How's this for irony? US Navy hit with $600m software piracy claim

Re: Yada yada, manifest destiny, eminent domain.

"Christ on a bike. Godwin's Law on the very first comment!"

Have an upvote sir! That of course was the meta joke, um, lol.

Yada yada, manifest destiny, eminent domain.

You know, we have big, er, lawyers, hah, that will re-write the law. Now, there's a good German, run along now. Oh, and WWII, Hitler.

Ransomware slams corporate Office 365 users with macro storm

Re: audio system to read out its ransom note.

Um, https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:MS_Sam.ogg

Probably. Utilizing win text to speech.

Fiber optic cables prove eyes of glass squids are like invisibility cloaks

Ya but, eww, a cloak made from icky octopus skin?

Samsung: Don't install Windows 10. REALLY

Re: "I think that you have forgotten that the way Sammy...."

"Sammy does not want you installing anything that they are not happy with."

I will second that, buddy. I shot off the most vitriolic phone call I've ever made when I rung up Samsung and demanded answers as to why they had failed to include support for a Logitech Bluetooth keyboard that my wife depends on for her Note Pro 12.2 when they did their schtick with Lollipop (of course the Samsung branded keyboards worked just fine).

Blood threatened to splurt from my eyes when they feigned ignorance.

It took a month but they fixed it, the fuckers.