Posts by !!11oneeleven

Emmerdale shoves jam rags in innocent kiddies' faces

Sooo....

I don't get it.

Excuse me, I'm just a dumb german, but I don't see anything offensive in the term jam rag. Sounds like some kind of cleaning equipment for marmalade or something.

Anyhow, on second thought I really, really, really don't care.

England beat Germany - what are the odds?

For the love of god...

please don't mention the score! At least not to a british person...

No Jacket, thank you...

Steve Jobs issues open letter on Flash

Nitpicking here....

What's a H.2d4 supposed to be when it's at home?

Thanks, I had no coat...

Turk unwraps doner kebab robot

Döner ftw!

That is all.

MS store staff in spontaneous electric boogie

wtf

I..... You...... What?!

German man arrested after UK gamer's murder

Uhm, .... wtf?!

That is all

BOFH: Back in the saddle

In the real world,...

...talking to cable cowboys like that will most probably get you a random tool >2Kg in the face.

BBC vs ISPs: Bandwidth row escalates as Tiscali wades in

Canada anyone?

Maybe the ISP's should go on strike and demand more of that "Internet money".

Botanist sues to stop CERN hurling Earth into parallel universe

I don't know if I mentioned it already...

...But, I love you guys.

Seriously.

(No leg-humping though)

Dutch MP releases anti-Islam movie

Only one thing to say...

I saw this guy a few times on TV and I can only say, he has really nice hair

UML officially an unfunny matter

10 Read 20 Understand 30 Post Answer

I'm pretty sure it says that the life of Solomon Grundy is a sad reflection of mortality, not morality.

There you go...

Apple applies to light up laptop touchpads, iPod clickwheels

Really bad idea

Then again, I'm one of those types who are soooo tired of all kinds of devices blinking and lighting up for no reason at all.

(You know, like that blue blinking ear-gear for mobiles...)

Paris Hilton exits missionary position to save Universe

Headline's fine as it is

No, really. The most important bits are there: The words Paris and Hilton. Everybody will remember the rest of the sentence as XXXXX anyway...

Microsoft shouts 'Long Live XP'

echo j | format c: /u

DOS for teh win!!111oneoneeleven

Virtualization and the Art of Patience with HP, IBM, Sun and Dell

Wow...

"HP, Sun, Dell and IBM fail AND aid their customers."

What a bunch of losers, aiding their customers...

/pedantic mode on

I'm not a native english speaker, but I'm pretty sure this should read:

"... fail TO aid their customers." (?)

/pedantic mode off

Boffins unveil sharpest ever stellar snaps

Adaptive

AFAIK adaptive optics involve an artificial guidestar (laserbeam), the fuziness of which is in direct relation to the 'adaptive' part of adaptive optics, which in turn involves a sectioned mirror where single sections can be moved to "adapt".

(I'm wondering who'd be so sad to "enhance" his webcam in that way...)

On a completely unrelated note, I lost count of how many times I read about some boffins pleading to not use the word boffin here on ElReg. Dear boffins, please stop that, it is not funny anymore and it won't happen...

Btw, light years are soooo yesteryear. Use sheep years instead...

London man coughs to 172mph Porsche jaunt

I don't get it...

I spent at least several days of my life at +150 mph until now, but I'm a german, so that's OK then.

But did you ever think about how driving at high speed might perhaps prolong your life? I mean, with general relativity and all that stuff around...

Now, where's that coat of mine...

Novell owns Unix copyrights after all

Mmmmmmmh....

...chocolate

US rules vote swapping legal

Errr...

I'm terribly sorry, but I read that as

"...The modern version of tactical vomiting,..."

My..., how descriptive, I thought.

Then I read it again but somehow it wasn't so funny this time...

German hurls computer from apartment block

Uhm...

Dear Lord, this guy is most certainly a saint!

This should become standard answer for "complicated" helpdesk-callers.

"Sir, I need you to open your window, please..."

How to recover your 'unrecoverable' laptop

bad scenario

I don't get it, has the presumed laptop in this story no copy/paste function? Or is that irrelevant to the plot?

Why would I want to use a "Backup-Solution" to backup a few slides and some spreadsheets when the copy/paste function works actually very well with USB-Sticks?

Analyst rubs crystal ball and sees iPhone 2.0 based on Nano

iNews

It may seem a bit strange, but I'm wondering if Paris Hilton has an iPhone. I surely would like to read about that...

Coat anyone?