Posts by Andy Jones

Windows Phone 7 Series website collapses under weight of traffic

Simple

It runs on IIS and more than 15 people have tried accessing it. Obviously it cannot handle the traffic.

/Mines the one with the Apache headdress in the pocket.

Microsoft's innovation mission explained

Microsoft make me laugh

""Innovation is overused as a word," Lewin told event attendees in Santa Clara, California."

Well of course it is. Microsoft use the word in every other sentence!

They are a joke. Did any one read their "innovation rebuttal"? To Microsoft, innovation is not about something new or taking something in a new direction - which would be innovative. No, Microsoft thinks innovation is when they get their product distributed on a lot of machines. Their example is ClearType - a technology that is over 20 years old, but since Microsoft got it on over 1 billion PCs ClearType is innovative, according to them! (source: "http://blogs.technet.com/microsoft_blog/archive/2010/02/04/measuring-our-work-by-its-broad-impact.aspx)

What a bunch of losers.

Windows 7 upgrades Vista laptops to lower battery life

Hang on a fine mo ...

Didn't that bird in the taxi claim there was better battery life under Windows 7? The lying bitch. Anyone got her address? I am fecking suing her! Windows 7 was her idea after all.

Bloated Office 2010 kicks dirt in face of old computers

Maybe so

OOo.org may be bloated but it doesn't take up 1.5Gb of disc space. If OOo.org is bloated, then Microsoft Office is just plan obese.

Just checking my machine and here is what I find:

Microsoft Office XP Pro - 477Mb

Open Office.org 3.1 - 354Mb

So, a newer version of OpenOffice.org takes up less disc space than an 8-year old version of Microsoft office. Please stop with the OOo.org is bloated crap.

Microsoft Office 2007 retailers dodge patent injunction

Ridiculous

34 versions of Office? That is just plain ridiculous. Why so many? Are they just trying to confuse people into buying the wrong version then pay more to get the correct version?

Acer Aspire One D250 with Android

When will they listen

When will these manufacturers listen? I don't want one of these machines, or any fecking desktop, laptop etc, with Windows on it. I don't want the hassle of getting my money back for Windows.

Why can't I buy one without that crap OS on it!

Windows 7 - the Reg reader verdict

Absolutely Brilliant

Got it first thing this morning. Removed from the packaging, took disc out and installed on the table. 9 hours later, after a stressful day, I have had 7 cups of coffee and not once has the disc stuck to my cup. Unbelievable.

Now, what's all this crap about putting in on a computer?

Asus' own Eee-beater spied on web

Vista??

The Vista is probably Vista Home Basic. I saw a thread on the Acer Aspire One (AAO) where someone actually installed it and they said that it run fine. They hadn't installed anything else on it though.

I have just had my AAO delivered today. I have a blue Linux one (120Gb HD & 1GB RAM) and I am impressed. I have shown a few people at work it and a couple are already planning to get one. What surpised me is that they are planning to get the Linux one because they like the Linpus Linux interface, and cannot be arsed about the Windows one, + the fact the Linux one is cheaper helped although the price was not critical.

I, however, will be looking at removing Linpus Linux and putting Fedora 9 on it. I know that Linus is based on Fedora 8 but the interface is a little too simple for me so I will get it the same as my other 3 machines - Fedora'd out. :o)

SanDisk makes sub-SSDs for sub-laptops

What to call them

If they have Windows on them I would call them 'Pointless'.

MPs demand US spooks' guarantees on census data

Feck the government

If they outsource this census to an American company then I will refuse to fill in the forms. It is as simple as that. I shall just cross out the form and write on it 'I refuse to provide my details while this census is in the hands of an untrustworthy foreign nation' or something like that. Take me to court Herr Brown and I will take it all the way to the European courts!

Microsoft to punt pensioner-proof PC

Smellovision

Will it smell of cabbage? I know Vista already stinks but will it be of the old-persons aroma?

My coat is the one hanging on the Zimmer frame.

Microsoft deploys protocol defense for IE

Harden the OS

If you want to harden the OS why not stick in 15 tonnes of concrete and then for good measure bury it 500 feet in the ground.

Coat please. It's the one run by Linux. Yes, that one with the Fedora.

Microsoft discloses 14,000 pages of coding secrets

RE: Anti-Competitiveness?

@ Nathan

Believe it or not there are other ways of obtaining a browser without using the internet. For years AOL or Netscape used to deliver browsers via CD. That is one way. Also you could use FTP as there are usually basic installations on all operating systems.

Microsoft gives XP an extra two years to live (kinda)

Hardware requirements

First of all, hardware requirements to determine whether a machine is an ULCPC is simple. If it has a 'Vista Capable' sticker on it then it is an ULCPC!

@ Steve Swenson

Not quite true. Distros do end support for earlier versions of their products. You can't expect Fedora to keep supporting Fedora Core 1 now can you?

Manhunt 2 gets green light for UK release

Is it censored?

Apparently the US version is censored in places, with the graphics blacked out or distorted to hide the gore violence. So is the British version going to be like this?

Doesn't matter to me anyway because I have been playing an uncensored hacked version on my PSP for several weeks now.

US woman spends two years on boyfriend's toilet

Beta tester

Was she a beta tester for Vista? It sure makes me want to lock myself in the bog!

/ Mines the brown smelly one with flies buzzing around it.

Load of Microsoft software falls off back of lorry

What was left?

Apparently the thieves left behind all copies of Vista. They have heard such bad press about it they just didn't want the hassle!

Microsoft have also included the missing products in their sales figures. This was done because officially they left Microsofts warehouse so they count as a sale.

Meanwhile Microsoft refuses to refund the money or give replacement goods to the purchaser due to restrictions as noted in the MS EULA: "If this product is stolen on route to you then you are solely responsible and Microsoft are in no way entitled to refund your money or replace your goods. All your cash belong to Microsoft."

Paris, because her pleasure curtains are opened daily.

Major HTML update unveiled

Microsoft involvement

If Microsoft are involved then expect to see the announcement of MS OpenHTML soon, which will only work with Internet Explorer!

Microsoft develops 'intelligent' shopping trolley

Microsoft are incapable

Microsoft can't even get the calculations in Excel to work properly so what makes them think I will trust this?

This is what it would show:

3 x 1pt Milk @ 34p = £100,000.00

Microsoft offers $300m for web-washing ad campaign

How about ...

How about ...

"Just use us. You know we will destroy the competition anyway so you might as well."

or better still:

"Microsoft Paris Hilton Gets Her Tits Out Live".

Dixons grinches Christmas

It's my fault

Maybe if they weren't intent on ripping people off then I would recommend people use them. As it is I tell people to steer well clear of PC World!

Admins accuse Microsoft of Draconian Hotmail cap

Ref: Thunderbird and Hotmail play nice

To David Wilkinson,

Maybe you should re-read Chris's post again. He is not talking about accessing a Hotmail account via Thunderbird but sending mail to Hotmail users via Thunderbird and these emails disappearing without trace.

PC superstore puts Microsoft on sale for under £150

A data with Ballmer

This is probably just payment to arrange a date with Ballmer. You have to pay for the meal , the monkey suit and the chairs for him to throw as this is not included in the price. He will provide the sweat and for an extra £200 he will do his monkey boy lap dance for you.

If your surname is Google then be prepared for some abuse! He may fu%#*ing kill you.

Once he has had his meal he will more than likely accuse you of infringing on their patents or something.

What does Microsoft's European defeat mean?

IP (Intellectual Property)

Microsoft have no right and should be prevented at charging royalties for it's IP in the server API's unless it can be fully proven that they themselves have built that API themselves from their own ideas. If the protocol is based on someone elses idea or an open standard then it must be placed under a non-discriminatory OPEN license for all to implement, including those who use the GPL.

So much of the communication protocols between servers are open standards and have been around for years. All or most of Microsofts protocols are just bastardized versions of these. For an example look at either the SMB/CIFS protocol or their attempt to bastardize the Kerberos authentication protocol. Each bastardization of the protocol is an attempt to thwarte competition and lock users into their monopoly. Again, SMB/CIFS in Vista has been deliberately broken to not work with Samba thereby frustrating Samba users.

The order to open up of their protocols has been documented since the 2004 verdict and yet still people do not get it. They either scream that Microsoft are being picked on because they are an American company or are Microsoft and are being forced to give away their valuable IP or code! Well, show me that their IP is not based off an open standard and I will agree that they deserve royalties! If you cannot do this then it is best you keep quiet.

For those who do not understand the bundling parts, some of it is because it is bundled and some is because you cannot get rid of it. If I choose to use Firefox then that is my right but if I choose to uninstall Internet Explorer then it should uninstall, not just delete the shortcuts to it! AFAIK if I choose to use Firefox on the Mac I can completely remove Safari, and on Linux I can remove Konqueror.

Basically, if you feel you must protest about the EC decision then just ask yourself a question. Why is it that Microsoft just cannot implement current standards but instead feel the need to reimplement those standards in such a way that they block out competitors?

Seagate targets sensitive customers with encrypted HDDs

PC Platform?

I take it them mean Windows when they say PC platform? I've never known a 'secure' product that works with Linux out of the box.

Robber held up bookies with vibrator

Five years?

@ Tim Wesson

He got five years because he also hadn't paid his council tax. That is why he was robbing the bank. If his council tax was fully paid up he would have gotten community service. :o)

It makes me wonder as to whether, when presenting the evidence, they held the dildo up in court. And, since one judge did not know what a website was (or was it the internet?), whether this presiding judge knew what a dildo was? I can just see it now, the judge asking why it is called a "Rampant Rabbit" when they explain what a dildo is, and when he is fiddling with it he accidentally turns it on. Rumour has it the judge was later seen in the vicinity of the Anne Summers shop in Soho!

Microsoft vs. Google – the open source shame

Isn't this Microsoft?

Ashlee Vance said: "... Or the one that controls your search queries, e-mails, instant messages, photos, documents and soon phone calls without ever discussing an open standard that will let you manipulate all that data ..."

The problem with the above statement is that you are trying to make out that that is Google when in fact it describes Microsoft to a tee. Maybe you should read what you write?

At the end of the day Ashlee you are very pro Microsoft so your stance of accepting what Microsoft say/do doesn't surprise me. Chris DiBona is right in what he says and Bill Hilf dodged the issue. If Microsoft want to get into Open Source then they should use an existing license. By using their own they are just trying to muddy the waters, like they do with their 'Open' document formats etc.

Microsoft sent FCC defective wireless prototype

BSOD

The interference is probably just your favourite tv channel blue screening when someone boots up the MS device!

'Portable' CD player puts MP3 into a spin

FLAC / OGG?

1. Will it support FLAC or OGG files?

2. Will it be yet another MP3 player that is locked into the Windows environment.

3. If yes to 2 will it be encumbered with DRM?

4. What is the battery life?

If no to 1 and yes to 2 then it is no good to me as an portable music player. I will stick to my Trekstor Vibez (terrible name, brilliant product) as it can play multiple formats and works well with Linux. I am also not bothered with poor quality rips so I use the FLAC format.

More importantly, if I am listening to a CD and I encounter trouble of the streets, is it possible to use the contraption to flick the CD at my enemy frisbee style to disable them?

'Ads-funded' Microsoft Works pilot barges onto your PC this year

Improving products?

"Microsoft is continually looking for ways to improve its products ... " said a spokeswoman.

Well, how in Hades does changing the product to make it ad-intrusive actually improve the product? Apart from the privacy issues implementing advertisements in software is clearly not an improvement. Also, how exactly does adding intrusive ads bring more value to the product as the same person stated? So what if it means the price is dropped £40 if you are willing to put up with the advertisements! Even without the ads a price drop to a free product still does not bring value.

German hurls computer from apartment block

He took friends advice

All he did was take his Linux friends advice of 'time to throw out Windows'.

Either that or he had porn on the screen when his mum walked in. What else could he do?

Actually, maybe he was trying to send an email.

Microsoft points robots toward point upgrade

Easily taken down

Nobody need worry about the possibility of Microsoft building and using a Robot army for the following reasons:

1. Look at the XBox and XBox360 to see what their hardware is like. Any robot would need a transformer the size of Battersea Power Station for it to work.

2. You could easily run away from even their fastest machine because in true Microsoft tradition the robot will be pure bloat.

3. Most of the functions of the robot will be advertised but not work properly. Want that Death Ray 3.4.02 to ACTUALLY kill someone, then you must purchase Robot OS 2.4 when it is released.

4. It will take ages for the robots to reach your city because of the bloat mentioned above and also the frequent (weekly) reboots to stop the system from crashing.

5. When the robots do actually reach you they will be more interested in trying to sell you Viagara than kill you, due to somebody converting them into mobile spamming machines.

Oh well, if it does happen at least Hollywood was partly true - that the world will be taken over by zombies. The thing they got wrong is that they are shiny metal robots not dead humans. Although if they contain Windows they will still be considered braindead.