* Posts by Graham Marsden

6899 publicly visible posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Chicken fillets: The affordable alternative to Bulgarian Airbags

Graham Marsden
Thumb Down

"The unfortunate lass lost control of her car in the treacherous conditions"

"Unfortunate"? Or was is that she lost control because she was driving *too fast* for the "treacherous conditions"?

The recent tragedy on the M5 shows the dangers of driving too close together and too fast for the conditions, yet still idiots do that and then consider themselves "unfortunate" when they get involved in accidents.

Mozilla updates to Firefox 8, disables add-ons

Graham Marsden
Thumb Up

Boulderdash!

A classic old game which El Reg should do a retrospective of :-)

US doctors demand right to advise on gun ownership

Graham Marsden
Boffin

Also...

... household chemicals have warnings printed on them, so do cars "Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear", plus you have to take a driving test but not a firearms test, hot tubs have warnings and thermostats...

Boffins build electric car from a single molecule

Graham Marsden
Coat

Oh you'll never get to heaven...

... in a molecular car.

'Cos a molecular car,

Won't go that far!

Lemmings

Graham Marsden
Thumb Up

Music!!!

Ah yes, "The Good, The Bad and the Lemmings", "How Much is that Lemming in the Window" and, of course the classic "Oh Little Town of Bethle-lem"! :-)

Production electric motorcycle breaks 100 mile range

Graham Marsden

@Driving is a shared responsibility

And car drivers etc need to actually *LOOK* properly before making a manoeuvre rather than thinking "ok, I can't see another car, it must be safe".

"Sorry, Mate, I Didn't See You" just means that the driver didn't look properly in the first place.

Graham Marsden
Facepalm

Loud pipes...

... don't save lives so much as good observation and proper riding plans do, they just piss off other people *after* you've gone past because they'll be hearing you for the next mile.

The only problem I see with electric drive is that makes it harder to judge your speed "by ear" simply by knowing what note your engine makes in which gear.

Oh and as for "88 mph that will get you little cred from the local two-wheeled community" that's bollocks, as long as you can flick it through the twisties, that's what matters!

Pay-by-wave: At least it's better than being mugged

Graham Marsden
WTF?

it's written into law...

... that the burden of proof is on the bank, not the customer.

Right, and that's guaranteed to stop banks from trying to fob customers off with "It's your fault, we're not paying out" claims...!

Russian Mars mission launches after multi-year delays

Graham Marsden
Coat

Da da dum...

... Da da dah dum!

(I actually had the Captain Scarlet uniform when I was *very* young!)

German website offers custom cow killing

Graham Marsden
Alien

Paging...

... the League of Cattle Mutilators...

(Hmm, no Illuminati icon, the Alien one will have to do ;-) )

Vatican mulls God particle, calls for appointment of antichrist

Graham Marsden
Trollface

Don't the Vatican...

... have a Patent on the God Particle...?

Gov reduces e-petitions to public spleen-venting exercise

Graham Marsden
Thumb Down

"It is a mechanism for...

"...making it look as if we give a damn what the public wants and let's them think that by signing a petition something will actually change."

There, fixed it for you.

Seriously, though, if you want to at least have a chance of anyone paying any attention to you, write to or e-mail your MP via http://www.theyworkforyou.com

Hackers mistake French rugby site for German stock exchange

Graham Marsden
FAIL

Epic...

... FAIL!

Beijing to get free Wi-Fi with obvious strings attached

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

"trace those whose online activity might endanger social security"

ITTM "trace those whose online activity might endanger the positions of a bunch of arrogant and corrupt despotic dictators who know that they will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes...!"

Shale gas operations triggered Blackpool tremors

Graham Marsden
Coat

Frak me...

... has nobody made the obligatory Battlestar Galactica reference yet...?

Record flight is step toward HYPERSONIC SPACE AIRSHIP

Graham Marsden
Alien

Dark Skies...

... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115151/

UK cops must justify using new mobile interception tech

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

@Thats ok then

Yep, let's hear it for Weasel Clauses! "You have these rights, apart from the times when we decide that you shouldn't be allowed them"

"When's that?"

"Oh, whenever we feel like it..."

This is what worries me about the idea of this country having a written Constitution, it's a great idea, but unless rights are stated as absolutes, this sort of weaseling means that rights are only granted at the behest of the state and can be taken away at their whim :-(

UK biz: Fax us and explain what this cloud thing is

Graham Marsden
Thumb Down

I have a fax machine...

... in fact the exact same one shown in your image, *with* the same stickers on it!

And you know what? It works! Why the hell would I, running a one-man business, need to faff around with (let alone pay for) "clouds", smartphones, fondle slabs or any other such "OMG it's shiny, we have to have it!" nonsense?

As for "there is a real business need for these solutions", whose business is this, exactly? Mine, or the people trying to flog the stuff?

Top GCHQ spook warns of 'disturbing' levels of cyber-raids

Graham Marsden
Holmes

So...

... more pork and empire building, then...

This weekend: First ever iPADS IN SPAAAACE

Graham Marsden
Trollface

I hate to think...

... what their bill for roaming charges will be like...!

Zimbabwean claims prostitute turned into donkey

Graham Marsden
Happy

There should have been a clue when....

... she said her name was Jenny!

Credit card companies plan to sell your purchase data to advertisers

Graham Marsden
Thumb Down

@jake

"I can get anything I will ever need in life within a two hour's round-trip from where I sit as I type"

Do you have nothing better to do than spend a couple of hours driving to buy something when, instead, you could get it with a few clicks of a mouse?

And how much petrol (or diesel) do you burn whilst doing that? And how much does that item cost? Are you really willing to spend extra time and money buying something from someone with a steady gaze and a firm handshake (something which any con-man worth his salt naturally practices carefully) when you can get it cheaper and more easily and delivered to your door just so you can avoid using cards?

Google report reveals YouTube takedown requests... by country

Graham Marsden
Unhappy

@Jonski

And I was just about to upvote you for what seemed to be an amusing post...!

TomTom Go Live TopGear Edition

Graham Marsden
Boffin

@Grease Monkey

So TomTom gives you the ability to report map errors, but instead of doing so (by activating the button that lets you record the position of a map error), you choose, instead, to bitch about the fact that it's *their* responsibility to fix the mistakes.

Of course given that you won't *tell* them where the mistakes are...

BTW You might try installing TomTom Home on your PC, in which case you can connect your Sat Nav up to it, click on the button that runs a simulation of the device on screen and then access the locations of the map errors and type in details from your keyboard at your convenience.

Technology, it's wonderful if you actually try using it properly...

Scot.gov plots its own superintranet

Graham Marsden
Flame

"A Scottish Government team...

"... has met with cabinet officials to discuss the reviews of major contracts and to share what they have learned."

And found out that a) politicians cannot write a sensible contract or bring in a project on time or on budget, but b) that doesn't matter because a few years down the line there'll be a lucrative directorship available...

Google dumps + from Boolean search tool

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

@Christoph

Surely that's ++ungood :-)

Last mystery of first recorded supernova laid to rest

Graham Marsden
Facepalm

"White Dwarfs...

... "go thermonuclear"

Erm, so what were they doing beforehand...?

Linehan turns IT Crowd off but NOT on again

Graham Marsden
Trollface

Fortunately...

... The Big Bang Theory is still going strong.

Probably something to do with it actually being funny...

Facebook flashplodders lose appeal against 4-yr jail stint

Graham Marsden
FAIL

@Titus Technophobe

Ah, now you're trying to use me as a scapegoat for your failure to understand what an ad hominem argument is.

Feel free to have the last word, I've wasted enough time on this.

Graham Marsden
Thumb Down

@Titus Technophobe

Your whole post boils down to one single point: "if it addresses these attitudes [...] ‘pour encourager les autres’"

If you're not aware, the origin of that comment was in Voltaire's Candide and was in reference to the execution of Admiral John Byng for failing to relieve the beseiged British Garrison at Minorca

Byng was effectively made a scape-goat for the British Government and Admiralty's failure to do *their* job properly by a) not acting in time to deal with the expected French attack on Minorca and b) sending Byng out with ships that were undermanned and in a poor state of repair.

So you're looking to do pretty much the same, find a scapegoat to blame for *your* failures and if that requires locking them up for four years, well, that's not your problem, is it?

The fact that "make an example of them" sentences have been shown throughout history to be abject failures in dealing with the root causes of problems seems to be of no concern to you either.

Graham Marsden
Facepalm

@Titus Technophobe

Ah, right, so you're talking about a parenting failure.

Still, nice to see that, rather than learning from such mistakes (or, even better, teaching children a bit of common sense so they don't happen in the first place ) you're in favour of locking them up for four years instead.

Graham Marsden
FAIL

@Titus Technophobe

How do you "inadvertently" have "a Face book inspire party" held in your house?

I suggest you might look at de-friending a few idiots rather than demanding they get four year jail sentences!

Graham Marsden
FAIL

@These scrotes incite a riot

To paraphrase an old quote: "What if they gave a riot but nobody came?"

Not long after the recent riots, just down the road from me a party got out of hand with over 100 people turning up after word got out via Twatter etc.

The Police managed to herd them out of the side roads and contain them, but some drunken idiots "for a laugh" apparently started chanting "we're going to riot".

There was no riot, very little damage was caused, but should those idiots also get four year sentences?

'Mental act' computerisations no longer automatically unpatentable

Graham Marsden
Trollface

@AC

"my job involves teaching students to become programmers."

Hey, I've had a great idea for solving your coursework problem, so I'm going to patent it, then if anyone else comes up with the same solution I can sue them and pay off my student loans with *their* money!!

Report: Hacking forum is a cybercrime academy

Graham Marsden
Holmes

In other news...

... oh you know the rest.

Domain registry touts dot-surnames for $500k

Graham Marsden
WTF?

Nothing says "wanker"...

... better than a personalised domain name!

Libel reform vows to slay anonymous trolls

Graham Marsden
Trollface

@Graham Dawson

'would you rather give people the power to have every post critical of, say, Orlowski removed from this site because it was "defamation"?'

Ah, but they never even get published in the first place if Andrew sees them first...!

(Bet this one won't either...)

Nipples and teen lesbians sexy even when ironic, ASA rules

Graham Marsden
Childcatcher

@Marvin the Martian

Regrettably, now, under one of the Thought Crime laws that Blair's minions brought in, "two girls [...] dressed in school uniform and [...] about to kiss" could be classed as kiddie porn since they're in school uniform, so it's possible to assume that they're under age.

What this does to St Trinian's films I don't know, but it's probably not good.

Leo DiCaprio slated to play Turing in biopic

Graham Marsden
Facepalm

Ironically...

... one of the things that helped Bletchley Park crack Enigma was when the Germans used three letter codes to initialise the rotor positions and often used HIT which was followed by, of course, LER for the encrypted message setting!

Survey: '4 million' Brits stung by ID theft

Graham Marsden
Unhappy

@"Investigate mail that goes missing"

Even if you *KNOW* something has gone missing because you sent it, the Post Office will just say "Fill in this form, send it to us and eventually, after you've allowed three weeks for it to turn up, fob you off with a letter saying 'if it is important you should pay extra for Recorded or Special Delivery and there's nothing else we can do'".

Been there, done that...

Sesame Street YouTube page hijacked by smut pushers

Graham Marsden
Thumb Up

@TRT

Curses, that was going to be my comment! :-)

ICANN rescues time zone database

Graham Marsden
Joke

I've just heard from the Catholic Church...

... who are claiming royalties from everyone for using the Gregorian Calendar...!

iPad baby baffled by paper magazine

Graham Marsden
Happy

@Tony Smith

To quote from The Ballad of Halo Jones, I think you mean "Increased Leisure Citizens" :-)

Judge OKs warrantless tracking of suspect's cellphone

Graham Marsden

@Old Handle

If they have legitimate grounds for tracing a phone call, then, just as with land lines, they can get a warrant to do so. But "Because we want to" coupled with a decision by an ignorant Judge aren't legitimate grounds.

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

Reasonable expectation of privacy!

Just because the authorities *can* find the location of a phone in case of emergency, doesn't mean that they should automatically be allowed to do that with *any* phone at *any* time of their choosing without going through the required legal process.

Graham Marsden
WTF?

'interpretation of cellphone calls as “wire communications”'

Hasn't he heard of this clever modern invention called "wireless"?

Winning new UK pylon design may never be used

Graham Marsden
Mushroom

Only...

... once!

Sixth of Britain's cellphones have traces of poo on them

Graham Marsden
Coat

To quote the Hitch Hiker's Guide...

FORD:

”Golgafrincham Ark Fleet. Ship B. Hold Seven: Telephone Sanitizer, Second Class.” And a serial number!

ARTHUR:

”Telephone Sanitizer”? A dead telephone sanitizer?

FORD:

Best kind.

Astronomy crowd spots PLANET KILLER!

Graham Marsden
Coat

How disappointing...

... I was expecting them to say that they'd sighted a huge ship that was hiding in a pocket of hyperspace or maybe a suspicious looking extra moon...

Fretting Googler retracts anti-Google+ rant

Graham Marsden
FAIL

"he accidentally set the post to be available publicly"

And thus neatly demonstrated how stupid it is to post anything like this on a "social network".