* Posts by muddysteve

136 posts • joined 1 Aug 2013

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Our Friends Electric: A pair of alternative options for getting around town

muddysteve

Re: The door

If I remember correctly, it was James May that drove the Isetta bubble car. They mocked up a garage in the studio, and he drove in, couldn't open the door and couldn't reverse. Did Clarkson and Hammond help him? What do you think?

Robots still suck. It's all they can do to stand up – never mind rise up

muddysteve

Let me get this straight.

Are we saying that "The Terminator" wasn't a documentary?

To have one floppy failure is unlucky. To have 20 implies evil magic or a very silly user

muddysteve

Labels

A common problem with the 5.25 discs was users attaching labels to them with a stapler.

Quality control, Soviet style: Here's another fine message you've gotten me into

muddysteve

Skodas and Ladas

In the early 80s, I went to see the RAC rally a couple of times, in the days when there was heavy snow and ice in November. The Ladas and Skodas were great cars, although admittedly rust wasn't an issue over the 5 days of the rally.

Wi-Fi devices set to become object sensors by 2024 under planned 802.11bf standard

muddysteve

The progress of technology.

your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.

Dr Ian Malcolm - Jurassic Park 1993

A word to the Wyse: Smoking cigars in the office is very bad for you... and your monitor

muddysteve

Re: Keyboards

Should have taken the clean keyboard with you - they would soon have learned.

Forget GameStop: Keyboard warriors and electronic trading have never mixed well

muddysteve

Re: Microsecodn

Done the email thing many times.

How do you save an ailing sales pitch? Just burn down the client's office with their own whiteboard

muddysteve

To be honest, it was 30 years ago, so I can't remember the details. I only remember that it worked for a while.

muddysteve

Taiwan

Many years ago I did some work in Taiwan, where they had 110v and 220v in the same building. We had a 220v server, which was carefully plugged into a 220v socket. Problem was that no-one had noticed that the extension lead in the middle was only rated for 110v. It worked for a while....

Trump's gone quiet, Parler nuked, Twitter protest never happened: There's an eerie calm – but at what cost?

muddysteve

They are private companies

As has been said before.

To quote The Pub Landlord - "My gaff, my rules".

Google wants to listen in to whatever you get up to in hotel rooms

muddysteve

I hope the hotels will advertise this additional feature.

Then I can go elsewhere.

So... just 'Good' then? KFC pulls Finger Lickin' slogan while pandemic rumbles on

muddysteve

I love it.

There, I said it.

COBOL: Five little letters that if put on a CV would ensure stable income for many a greybeard coder

muddysteve

Re: Performance slow?

You could speed things up quite a lot by choosing your data types correctly. Once, in a quiet period I spent a lot of time working out what data type to use to optimise both storage and performance.

muddysteve

Re: My first programs were in COBOL

Nothing quite like the howl of despair from a programmer who dropped his/her deck of cards.

muddysteve

My first programs were in COBOL

Written out on datasheets.

Given to the Data Prep department to be turned into punched cards.

Submitted to the operators for an overnight compile.

Next day, check errors, correct and resubmit for another compile the next night.

Once it compiled successfully, start to debug, one run a day.

Once, when the Data Prep department was busy, I produced a program on punched cards using a hand punch.

Mind you, from the article - "2 million coders producing 1.5 million lines of code a day". Must be still using the same process.

Fantastic Mr Fox? Not when he sh*ts on your lawn, kids' trampoline and your soul

muddysteve

Wimpy Foxes

I don't think I have seen a fox in our garden since we got a dog. There are plenty around - I see them in the street and hear them. They just don't seem to come in our garden. I can be reasonably sure - if one did a dump in the garden, our dog would roll in it.

GM Cruise holds off on self-driving taxis for this year, says it needs more testing time to be safe

muddysteve

Another 10 years away.

I reckon we will get self-driving cars at the same time we get fusion nuclear reactors. It's always about ten years away.

Freaky photo flingers face fat fines for flagrant phallus flashing fun

muddysteve

Re: Potentially a good idea.

-> thinking the other person MIGHT want to see it, and if the other person says "do not send me this ever again" and you do NOT, there's no JAIL involved, just irritation and need to apologize.

"So if I whack you painfully around the head with a baseball bat, and you tell me that you didn't want me to do that, it's OK if I apologise, and I won't be charged with assault?"

It also sounds like a flasher's charter "Didn't you want to see that? Sorry - I won't do it again".

A real head-scratcher: Tech support called in because emails 'aren't showing timestamps'

muddysteve

Re: Monthly sales report

If no-one ever read the report, why was the paper replenished?

muddysteve

Re: "WTF do you think you're doing?"

"Depends how you worked. I started at a place where we wrote on coding sheets (it was assembler) so it would have been sensible to get a fast typist to bang it in after you'd written it."

I started COBOL programming on coding sheets, which then went to the data prep girls to be typed up and a card deck produced.

You tell that to youngsters today and they won't believe you.

User secures floppies to a filing cabinet with a magnet, but at least they backed up daily... right?

muddysteve

Two true stories

These were told to me in the Eighties by a PC supplier, and I have no cause to doubt them.

The first was one told earlier, where a user had sent a floppy through the post with evidence on, and a compliments slip stapled to it.

The other was where a new PC was supplied, and the dealer gave the user two floppy discs to start them off as backups. Let's call them A and B. Things worked well at first - as the data on the machine grew, floppy A no longer had enough space on , and floppy B was inserted when asked for. The problems started when the amount of data grew further. Floppy A was inserted - when full, floppy B was inserted, and then, when full, floppy A was inserted again....

How many Reg columnists does it take to turn off a lightbulb?

muddysteve

Them wardrobe lights

Once slept at a friends flat which had one of those motion-sensor lights in the wardrobe. I like to sleep with the window open, and every time there was a gust of wind, the wardrobe doors moved, which turned the light on. As it was a friends place, I didn't want to dismantle the light.

Eggheads want YOU to name Jupiter's five newly found moons ‒ and yeah, not so fast with Moony McMoonface

muddysteve

Zeusy McZeusface

Sorted.

Return of the audio format wars and other money-making scams

muddysteve

Two words

Eight track.

Pandas so useless they just look at delicious kid who fell into enclosure

muddysteve

Re: Perhaps

"A small addition of Kodiak DNA would make them more 'interesting'."

If it was Kodak dna, they could take their own selfies.

Users fail to squeak through basic computer skills test. Well, it was the '90s

muddysteve

Re: felt pad

Am I the only weirdo who used to enjoy cleaning out the old mechanical mice (only mine, mind, I don't want someone else's "felt pad" under my finger nails).

Um, I'm not that Gary, American man tells Ryanair after being sent other Gary's flight itinerary

muddysteve

Right on. Power to the Steves.

What the #!/%* is that rogue Raspberry Pi doing plugged into my company's server room, sysadmin despairs

muddysteve

I'm not a sysadm, but surely if you find an unknown piece of kit in your server room and the management don't know about it, then the first thing to do is unplug it, and see who shouts, rather than get on the internet and wait for replies.

Scanning an Exchange server for a virus that spreads via email? What could go wrong?

muddysteve

It was a Friday

First alarm bell!

Take my advice: The only safe ID is a fake ID

muddysteve

Re: As far as te BBC uis concerned...

"I am a 36 year old single Afro Caribbean woman living in Milton Keynes.

Needless to say I am nothing of the kind."

You mean you are really 42?

Devon County Council techies: WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOU!

muddysteve

3rd party

They may well be using a 3rd party letter printing service which is supposed to check the letter, print it, put it in an envelope and post it. Doesn't excuse the badly written letter in the first place, mind.

Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

muddysteve

So long, and thanks for all the columns

Good luck with your new job, Simon.

Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

muddysteve

Toilet Signs

A recent one seen:-

"Please no not flush anything other than toilet paper down the toilet."

You wouldn't want to take that too literally.

Mobileye's autonomous cars are heading to California. But they're not going to kill anyone. At least not on purpose

muddysteve

"At its heart he's denying the value of predicting the actions of others. I know I predict while driving - constantly and unconsciously, using judgements of their position speed and acceleration, but also the make and condition of the car, the age and sex of the driver, where we are."

Of course you are. The central premise of driving is that you only drive into a space that will be empty when you get there, which involves the prediction of what everything around you is going to do. If you just drive by reacting to others, then you are an accident waiting to happen. In fact, I am not even sure that is possible.

Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you

muddysteve

I have always said...

The main problem with computers is that they do what you tell them to do, not what you want them to do.

BOFH: Guys? Guys? We need blockchain... can you install blockchain?

muddysteve

Re: Magic Bean Technology

"They are here in Australia. I'll meet you there. What are you having?"

A pint of something cold, please. I may not make it in time, so you had better drink it for me.

Translating Facebook's latest 'Hard Questions' PR spin – The Reg edit

muddysteve

I don't particularly mind targeted ads, if they are targeted by FB (I did sign up to that bit). If an advertiser gives FB an advert for 40-50 year olds who like eating out, and FB puts it on appropriate time lines, then that is ok with me. What I really don't like is other companies being given data about me to effectively do what they like with (I didn't realise that I had signed up to that bit). That is the main reason I am trying to wean myself off FB.

Time to ditch the front door key? Nest's new wireless smart lock is surprisingly convenient

muddysteve

Re: Lock makers that you can trust?

Do you really want to open a door outward into your visitor's face?

There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

muddysteve

Saracen and Roland

Wow - that is an obscure reference. Mme D must be well-educated.

Signal app guru Moxie: Facebook is like Exxon. Everyone needs it, everyone despises it

muddysteve

People don't care

The basic problem with the surveillance society is that people don't care that they are being watched. "If you are doing nothing wrong, then you have nothing to worry about" is the quote I usually hear when discussing it. "Who is going to be interested in what we say?" was the reply when I discussed Alexa with someone. When all that most people see is a few targeted adverts, they will live with that if it means they can share photos, news and memes. I am seriously considering coming off Facebook, but I will then lose touch with many people that I do not communicate with in other ways.

What a time to be alive: LG and Italian furniture-maker build smart sofa

muddysteve

Not as bad as it sounds

It won't do things automatically.

“a visitor can sit on a piece of Nattuzi furniture and tell it to turn on the TV. It will then activate the LG Signature OLED TV while the sofa and light are adjusted for the best viewing experience.”

So you have to tell it what to do. I'd still rather use a remote, though.

You must be yolking: English pub to launch eggstravagent Yorkshire pudding

muddysteve

Watford Gap, not Watford. They are different places. Watford is inside the M25, which would make me a Northerner, living in Hertfordshire. I can't be a Northerner - I wear a coat.

I couldn't give a Greek clock about your IoT fertility tracker

muddysteve

Re: In my day

"In my day with camped on mountains without tents or sleeping bags and dug latrine holes in the rock with our fingernails. etc."

Camping without tents or sleeping bags - isn't that just called "stopping".

muddysteve

Gloating

If you are taking a riverside holiday in a narrow boat, then the people on the boats in the actual river would be gloating (as well as floating - and boating).

Your mouse can't reach that Excel cell? Buy a 'desk extender' said help desk bluffer

muddysteve

Re: Porkies

Office maybe, but Excel was released for the Mac in 1985 and for the PC in 1987.

Good luck saying 'Sorry I'm late, I had to update my car's firmware'

muddysteve

Re: new does not mean better

That would be nice. Unfortunately, vehicles without all the computer gubbins will not meet current legislation, especially around emissions.

muddysteve

I can see the problem with cars being the insurance companies. "You drove your car without accepting an important update? Sorry, we cannot cover you in those circumstances."

Star Paws: Attack of the clones

muddysteve

Re: Why clone any pet?

An upvote for the message, and I would like to give another for having English Springer Spaniels.

IT peeps, be warned: You'll soon be a museum exhibit

muddysteve

Re: Back in the day

In the 80s, the company I worked for set up a multi-user data prep system It ran on an IBM AT PC (with a 286 processor), had a 20 (yes, twenty) MB hard disk, and supported 6 users. If you told the kids today that they wouldn't know what you were talking about, let alone believe it.

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