* Posts by Fruit and Nutcase

5697 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2013

It’s not true no one wants .uk domains – just look at all these Bulgarians who signed up to nab expired addresses

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Re: Bulgarian.uk

I wonder if the Bulgarians will nab baaps.uk

https://baaps.org.uk/

Will Asimov fix my doorbell? There should be a law about this

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Joke

Re: 3 laws for AI

Won't be long now before the bean counters at the MOD follow suit with respect to the Watchkeeper Drone

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Leaves on the line

LeavesNumber 2s on the line in the UK, until 2023

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/03/uk-railway-firms-faiil-to-clean-up-waste-dumping-act

Still, best not try dispose a rubber duck...

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Re: 3 laws for AI

The Lampton Worm

As I read the above, out popped from my memory... "The Lair of the White Worm". The film by Ken Russel, loosely based on the book of the same name by Bram Stoker, which itself was based on the legend of the Lambton Worm.

The film features Amanda Donohoe, Catherine Oxenberg, and an early film appearance by Hugh Grant

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Alert

Please don't flush...

The following sign can be seen on some UK train toilet seats...

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=south+west+trains+toilet+sign

Please don't flush

Nappies, sanitary towels,

paper towels, gum,

old phones, unpaid bills,

junk mail, your ex's sweater,

hopes, dreams or goldfish

down this

toilet

Brits may still be struck by Lightning, but EU lawmakers vote for bloc-wide common charging rules

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Joke

Re: What about Britain?

1st February 2020

Directive No. 1 from the Office of Dominic Cummingsthe Prime Minister

The following will be banned henceforth

French Fries (unless relabelled as Brexit Fries)

French Letters

French Toast

Swedish Massages

Spanish Practices

Irish Coffee

Going Dutch

Double Dutch and Irish Sandwiches

Spanish Flu

Danish Bacon

Greek Weddings

Greek Yoghurt

Maltese Falcons

Maltesers

Swiss Bank Accounts

Swiss Cheese

Elon Musk shows world that he is truly awful at something

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Pret

He's now making a round of tea for his insolence.

I'd have sent him off to Pret for some sandwiches, wearing a blond wig and impersonating Pamela Anderson

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Elon Musk meets...

However, we're firmly of the school of thought that Musk should probably stick to rockets

"Okay, so you're a rocket scientist

That don't impress me much"

Shania Twain

Gin and gone-ic: Rometty out as IBM CEO, cloud supremo Arvind Krishna takes over, Red Hat boss is president

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BBB

Big Blue's Ballmer

Were there any flying chairs during her tenure?

BT: UK.gov ruling on Huawei will cost us half a billion pounds over next 5 years

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Pint

Dr Evil Quote!

"UK.gov ruling on Huawei will cost us half a billion pounds over next 5 years"

UK.gov ruling on HuaweiHS2 will cost us half axxx billion pounds over next 5?? years"

Not call, dude: UK govt says guaranteed surcharge-free EU roaming will end after Brexit transition period. Brits left at the mercy of networks

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Trollface

Wellcome to Britain

Before Brexit: Ripoff Britain 1.0

After Brexit: Ripoff Britain 2.0

Kerching!

A licence to print money

Accounting expert told judge Autonomy was wrong not to disclose hardware sales

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Re: Buyer's Remorse

To be fair, previously I had over 15 years of solid service out of a HP Laserjet, and very reasonable consumable cost.

Back to laser now...

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Joke

Buyer's Remorse

I got buyer's remorse when I bought a HP Printer a few years back - loss leading hardware and eye-watering software...

UK: From 5G in Tiree to the Isles of Ebony, carry me on the waves… Sail Huawei, sail Huawei, sail Huawei

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Huawei

Who Are We?

Who Are You?

Friend Or Foe?

Clunk, whirr, buzz, whine. Shared office space can be a riot and sounds like one too

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Happy

VW Golf - Squeaky Earring

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKmf0YjZXqo

(Golf: Rabbit on the other side of the pond)

Beer necessities: US chap registers bevvy as emotional support animal so he can booze on public transport

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Good folk of Forfar: Alan Hattel would like you all to know he's not dead despite what it says on his tombstone

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Memorial Bench

Perhaps Mr Hattel should consider a dedicating a Memorial Bench in his memory!

"Alan Hattel is still alive"

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-50646467

I quite liked..

"In memory of Miles Kington, who hated this spot, because there was never anywhere to sit down and enjoy it from"

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Spike Mulligan...

"Spike Milligan's epitaph includes the phrase Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite, Irish for "I told you I was ill."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spike_Milligan

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/culturenews/9273783/Spike-Milligans-epitaph-I-told-you-I-was-ill-voted-UKs-favourite.html

"His words of wisdom was voted ahead of Oscar Wilde’s "Either those curtains go or I do" and Frank Sinatra’s "The best is yet to come" by a considerable margin.

One in 10 voters chose Wilde's while seven per cent voted for Sinatra's.

Next was Mel Blanc's "that's all folks", followed by Frank Carson with "what a way to lose weight’ while Winston Churchill was next.

The former Prime Minister finished sixth with: "I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

Teenagers today. Can't take them anywhere, eh? 18-year-old kid accused of $50m SIM-swap cryptocurrency heist

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Pint

Re: Definitely not the Messiah then, and of Zero DARPA Type DeepMinded Interest.

You lost ,me there after "He's very naughty boy ..... according to the Gospel of the Life of Brian :-) "

but +1 and a beer for the "three Cs"

Who honestly has a crown prince in their threat model? UN report officially fingers Saudi royal as Bezos hacker

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Re: How a video can be delivered through ...

CVE-2019-11931

A stack-based buffer overflow could be triggered in WhatsApp by sending a specially crafted MP4 file to a WhatsApp user. The issue was present in parsing the elementary stream metadata of an MP4 file and could result in a DoS or RCE.

As @Red Ted comments,once the exploit/Remote Code Executes it can do all manner of things - including removing traces of it. The question is why was that encrypted part left if there was some clear up performed. Could simply be an oversight - known to happen. As for why that part was encrypted - less chance of detection than if it were unencrypted code that could be fingerprinted/detected.

Alternatively, could also leave some useful malicious code in encrypted form on the victim's device that can be accessed when required by other exploits/attacks, avoiding the need to download that code (again) and thereby reducing the chance of detection.

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Re: How a video can be delivered through ...

They did find an encrypted payload within the file - which they could not decrypt in order to ascertain if it was malicious. What is the probability that it was not benign? The encrypted nature of the final delivery mechanism was irrelevant.

"...but it seems an encrypted blob of code in the 4MB video file was able to run spyware on the phone, presumably via a software flaw. The team was unable to decrypt the payload.

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Crown Jewels

So, it was action by a Crown Prince that led to Bezos publishing pictures of his Crown Jewels.

Big Falcon explosion as SpaceX successfully demos Crew Dragon abort systems

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"Helen Keen's It Is Rocket Science"

"…Series that takes a comic but scientifically-accurate look at the science and history of space exploration. With Helen Keen, Peter Serafinowicz and Susy Kane…"

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00z5hrv

...2 weeks left to listen at the time of posting this

Image-rec startup for cops, Feds can probably identify you from 3 billion pics it's scraped from Facebook, YouTube etc

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but the only photo I used was of a horse

"Mister Ed"?

What do Brit biz consultants and X-rated cam stars have in common? Wide open... AWS S3 buckets on public internet

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Pubic Access

In the case of the video site, the admin probably mistook Public Access for the Pubic Access setting

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Facepalm

TITSUP

Total Inability To Sever Unsecured Permissions

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Re: I see your smut cash and raise you...

65million UK patient records to be horse traded in a UK/US Trade Deal.

I know, Boris said the NHS is off the table. That still leaves an opportunity for the data to be passed under the table.

WebAssembly: Key to a high-performance web, or ideal for malware? Reg speaks to co-designer Andreas Rossberg

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WASM?

Before the dawn of the Web, there was...

MASM - Microsoft Macro Assembler

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Keep a lookout for the "WASM causes TITSUP" headline...

To catch a thief, go to Google with a geofence warrant – and it will give you all the details

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Re: Nothing anywhere proves Googles data is concise or accurate.

Once a colleague did a google location history - it showed him in the UK followed by the US and back to the UK all within an improbably short time. The reason? He was using the company provided guest/employee Wi-Fi, which would route traffic out via the internal network - and that would at times exit out of either the UK or US as we had locations in both

Help! I'm trapped on Schrodinger's runaway train! Or am I..?

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Paris Hilton

Re: The accessible room

A lifetime ago, I was on long assignment and used to stay in a small hotel at a village near the work place. If they were nearing full-occupancy, the receptionist would give the "Bridal Suite" with 4-poster bed

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From France with Love

As you can see, my much prolonged, zig-zag route up the country and into Blighty worked

Was Mme D accompanying you in the guise of Tatiana, or were you intending to catch up with Rosa in London?

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Re: Hurrah for apps

"You know your money's safe with them" as long as they've secured their AWS...

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Re: "Harry and Meghan taking the lifts"

Have they pitched to replace Sandi Toksvig in the "Great British Bake Off"?

UC Berkeley told to cough up $5m in compensation to comp-sci, engineering students recruited to teach classes

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RSVP

Dear University of California, Berkeley

You are cordially invited to relocate to Post Brexit BritainEngland where you'll be able to employ self-employed TAs on zero hour contracts at minimum wage, or lower if you can get away with it.

Yours etc

Boris

p.s. Any chance of a Honorary Degree?

US hands UK 'dossier' on Huawei: Really! Still using their kit? That's just... one... step... beyond

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Black Helicopters

Assange's Cat

That picture of a cat makes me wonder...

Does the US have a dossier on Assange's Cat? Will they apply to extradite it? The things it would have seen and heard...

World's richest bloke battles Oz catastro-fire with incredible AU$1m donation (aka load of cheap greenwashing)

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Amazon Prime Wildfire Service

For only $$$ order a delivery of 1 litre of water treated with fire retardant to be dropped by Amazon drone to a wildfire location of your choice.

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Alternatively...

He could head over to Oz along with other zillionaries and do a collective piss on the first wildfire they encounter. Direct action to where it is needed.

There's something fishy going down in the computer lab

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Re: Lucky git

I went to college to study something non-IT related. When I got there, discovered VAX Basic, Fortran and DCL. With countless hours spent in front of TeleVideo terminals, no surprise I ended up with a career in IT.

Flying taxis? That'll be AFTER you've launched light sabres and anti-gravity skateboards

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Re: London...

A foggy day in London Town...

Good luck with collision avoidance

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Licence to Kill

"TOP SECRET: your licence to kill is approved"

As the best place to hide a secret is in the open, with all the wanna-be secret agent hints that Dabbsy has been dropping over the years, it could be that he does indeed have a "Licence to Kill". Probably studied under Johnny English

Pair charged with murder, manslaughter after IBM Aspera boffin killed in New Year's Eve laptop theft struggle

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Re: WHY DON'T I HAVE BAIL!?!?

"WHY DON'T I HAVE BAIL!?!? "

Words that could very well have been uttered by Julian Assange not very long ago

Senior health tech pros warn NHS England: Be transparent with mass database trawl or face public backlash

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The NHS data on 65 million Brits was said at the meeting to be worth £9.6bn a year through "operational savings, improved patient outcomes and economic benefits," based on research by EY.

Excuse me whilst I cross check those figures by reading some tea leaves and multiplying by my inside leg measurement

Greetings from the future where it's all pole-dancing robots and Pokemon passports

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Re: pole-dancing robots

Will they be able provide "IT Advice" to politicians?

A sprinkling of Star Wars and a dash of Jedi equals a slightly underbaked Rise Of Skywalker

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Disney mashup

They could go for broke by trawling their back-catalogue of perennial favourites for story lines and characters for Star Wars and visa-versa

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Re: 1977

Why else would you need a C3PO character?

Product placement/sponsorship opportunity in a future Star Wars film - R2D2 gets voiced by "Alexa". Order your Light Sabre using Amazon Prime for next day delivery in any Galaxy

Say GDP-aaaR: UK's Information Commissioner pours £275k fine into London pharmacy's teaspoon

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Re: I wish it could be Christmas every day

Let's see some big scalps.

UK's Virgin Media celebrates the end of 2019 with a good, old fashioned TITSUP*

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FAIL

TITSUP

Total Inability To Survey Underground Pipes