Posts by Fruit and Nutcase

There can be only one: Google Cloud casts Gemini as your enterprise AI hero

Gemini?

Nah, I'll wait for Apollo

Microsoft unveils 'Surace' Laptop Ultra

Ports

It was a low bar first time round - 1 USB-A and 1 USB-C in the one I had from work - was glad to be rid of it when the time came for it to be replaced.

A bit like the production-statistics joke: “Tractor production doubled this year!” The punchline is that they made one tractor last year and two this year

365? is that part of the joke?

Margaret Hamilton, software pioneer who helped put humans on the Moon, dies at 90

Synchronicity?

Had Radio 4 on, with BBC Inside Science...

Caught my attention when they started discussing Margaret Hamilton. Then, looking at El-Reg, my eye was immediately drawn to the link to this article.

RIP Margaret. We won't forget you

Rust upstart reveals 'reimplementation' of Microsoft Office – with Claude on coding duty

Claude

Whatever the smarts that Claude brings to a task like this, don't ask it to plan a hiking route in the mountains

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/oct/08/teen-hike-claude-ai-directions-rescue-canada-mountain

Copilot

Will Microsoft litigate against itself of Copilot was used to assist in creating a look-alike Word?

IBM offloads 'hundreds' of its cloudy VMware customers

Translation

and who are therefore "ripe for migration.” [can be squeezed until the pips squeak]

Trump Mobile customers' data dumped - and some never even received their gold device

Re: That's a new low...

"Singing Gift Bag?''

Recordings of the Singing Nun

Re: That's a new low...

How many commandments has he NOT broken

Brunnett’s LinkedIn profile says he oversees “all Information Technology and Information Security for all aspects of the Trump Organization.”

Guess that entry will need an update soon

Musk follows Trump's lead, swaps AI for SI in SpaceX rebrand

His Master's Voice

Master Speaks

Doge comes running

Mind bleach

You have been warned: This is not Miley Cyrus on a Wrecking Ball...

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/oct/03/elon-is-my-prophet-how-musks-doge-team-took-a-wrecking-ball-to-washington

Google hearts Apple's Swift so much it's pumping out server-side support

Expertly

Taylored Swift for servers by Google

Just realised @Pete 2 was Swift on the Tayloring

Starship finally makes orbit but engine trouble cuts the victory lap short

Re: EM Phone Home

We've not seen him in the driver's seat of a Tesla with Autopilot engaged, travelling on a highway and coming up to a group of stationary emergency response vehicles

EM Phone Home

Another step closer to the day Musk goes home

Shut up and take our money: Amazon plows $1B+ into quashing datacenter dissent

Win-Win

Build the DC at the Golf course. For extra environmental credits, add a wind turbine at each hole. Get the man in the Oval Office to sign an Executive Order mandating it

Google launches first datacenter satellite and research that finds orbiting bit barns can work

Recycling?

No chance of recovering whatever from the kit once its EOL or faulty, its discarded in space or disposed of by burning it up in reentry.

I'm going to get a thicker tin foil hat

Microsoft makes Windows settings backup the default in 26H2

That rogue programmer

"since this only backs up settings and a list of Windows apps"

Once he did the Google Streetview unauthorized capture of data transmitted over unsecured networks (2008–2010), he's been popping up all over the place "doing his thing", a bit like Banksy.

I'd be worried AI has been trained on his codebase, given the use of AI coding at Microsoft. And AI has a habit of doing unauthorized actions even when there are guardrails

Hot Dog! America's new chatbot is packed with wieners

Trump tat

Is this chatbot likely to recommend goods and services, especially those of the financial kind to citizens?

Normally, we can expect the relevant government regulatory agencies to step in, but as they've been captured, expect either no response or a mild slap in the wrist

YouTube lunatic designed and 3D printed a working mechanical calculator

Re: Thank goodness it can't divide.

If only. I doubt the concept would have ever exercised the grey matter of the majority of young cashiers/shop assistants who cannot grasp the concept of change optimisation which just requires a bit of addition and subtraction.

If, say the amount due is £3.67, and I hand over £4.17 as the change due is then 50p, which can be given as a single coin, rather than if I'd tendered £4.00, the change due being 33p.

Invariably that confuses them

16-year-old researcher found a Microsoft bug, got admin access to databases with 17.3 trillion rows

It's 2 am. Do you know what your teen is doing?

Do you know what your teen[man in the Oval Office] is doing?

https://www.theregister.com/ai-and-ml/2026/09/30/trump-decrees-era-of-super-intelligence-upon-us/5300213

FBI to ShinyHunters: 'We know how to find you'

"We know who you are and we know where you are (in that big house on Pennsylvania Avenue). Don't worry, we lost all the gathered evidence

Over at RAF Fairford...

"One of the five men arrested near RAF Fairford called 999 himself"

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cqn8m342rgk9o

The FBI must be hoping for a similar outcome.

For you Fritz, the [cyber] war is over

Re: Mistake methinks

ShinyHunters -> ShinyBottoms

FBI Appeal

Kash waiting for information

HMRC bets up to £2.4B on Salesforce for taxpayer CRM overhaul

Re: Worth up to £600 million including VAT.

Surely it's a moot point. HMRC pays VAT on the invoice from the vendor, then a bit later, the vendor pays it back to HMRC on the VAT return.

Guess it keeps a few been counters employed

Healthcare campaigners turn up the heat on Palantir at Labour conference

Heineken

"Earlier this month, Palantir hired former Labour Party deputy Tom Watson to help guide its work with the UK government."

Heineken[Tom Watson] reaches the parts other beers can't reach

I guess he's still got a pass for all the restaurants and watering holes at Westminster where hungry and thirsty government ministers congregate

Fresh CSS constructs move web design beyond ticky-tacky little boxes

Re: Oh goody

We'll be back to the equivalent of multiple coloured, flashing fonts of home brew web pages.

I'm just glad to be of an age where the grim reaper is catching up and I can look forward to eternity without all this

Microsoft tells nonprofits their deleted M365 data isn't coming back

Sorry Boss, Mr Nadella

The spreadsheet we store the bonus allocation for the senior executives, including you has got corrupted, and we cannot restore.

Kind regards

M365 Support

Have a nice day!

Thoughts return to forbidden RAM upgrades as Raspberry Pi OS gets fresh lick of paint

Re: 'Authorised devices' and fixed RAM...

"...smacks of Apple's walled garden."

Has Eben Upton started wearing black polo neck tops?

~40 years ago...I read about, but never upgraded the memory of my early Atari 520ST from 512k to 1M - IIRC, it meant getting hold of another set of (16) DRAM chips and piggy-back soldering them onto the existing chips (all but the chip select lines?). Then solder extra decoupling capacitors and wire up the chip select pins which were bent upwards so as not to make contact with the equivalent pin on the lower chip, onto somewhere else on the motherboard. Later boards were a bit easier as they had an unpopulated bank

Microsoft cells out, crams multiple values into Excel boxes

Re: Zzzz

Next we'll have cells that contain Excel spreadsheets...

Will it improve the Doom "experience" on Excel?

ShinyHunters tells The Reg: We hacked the FBI to 'protect our business'

When's the IPO?

When's the feature film?

May be they can get Carly Simon to sing the theme tune

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobody_Does_It_Better

icon: at the end of the film when FBI break into to snatch the gang

UK wants more homes heated by waste heat from datacenters

a mad set of muppets

for muppets read civil servants,

The BBC have made a couple of excellent documentaries on these civil servants...

General Assistance Department

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/b009smq5

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Men_from_the_Ministry

Department of Administrative Affairs

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/b009v0dc

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yes_Minister

In the summer

Plus as we saw this summer, UK houses are starting to need cooling as much as they need heating

It wouldn't surprise me in the least of they plan to send the barges up to the arctic to collect calved icebergs and bring them over to cool the houses and datacentres

UK’s uncrewed experimental sub shows it can fire torpedoes

Re: why call a submarine Excalibur?

"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government."

It "works" for the US government where a woman carries a printer around and distributes pictures to the C-in-C

Re: Errm

"These drone submarines are going to very slow"

Disguise the hull to look like a basking shark, which slowly wander about the oceans.

And don't forget to fit lasers

Robot dog ran a marathon on one charge and lived to publish the paper

Overall time

Would improve - if they can stop the dogs from stopping at lampposts and cocking their legs

Artificial intelligence must have a new name, says politician who likes renaming bodies of water

Re: One thing that I would rename is "urine"

Well, his policies are usually crap...

Trump Towers

Trump: Manuel

Manuel: SI

Trump: he's from Barcelona[Anthropic**]

Melania: It'd be quicker to train a monkey

Melania: Donald!

Don't mention the Tan[the war with Iran]

*Manuel - Trump's super intelligent personal assistant. Not to be confused with his personal executive assistant and fellow catering truck passenger

**other "SI" companies are available

Campaigners tell Burnham not to trade away the UK's tech tax to please Trump

How to flatter Trump

Nice tan Mr President. You must be knowing Claudia Winkleman.

Nice tan Mr President. Did you get it out of a bottle?

Re: or...........

If I'm not mistaken, HMS Victory is still a commissioned ship. It could lead the gunboat into battle

Re: Waste of time

Additionally, we could introduce a very specific punitive tax/levy on foreign owned golf resorts in Britain where the owners are related to the current serving POTUS.

Treasury chief says AI bosses, not their bots, will carry the can for criminal acts

In the clink

Musk being collared only when Autopilot goes berserk and mows down a prominent lawmaker. Otherwise, it'll be brushed aside

Skip the upgrade? iPhone 18 Pro aperture about as unrepairable as it gets, iFixit finds

Re: Repairability score

We are yet to reach the self repairability of some of the other species, such as ghekkos...

https://sciencesensei.com/29-animals-that-can-regrow-lost-body-parts-throughout-their-lives/

No doubt we'll find a way

Repairability score

As time goes by, the repairability score of iPhones head south and the repairability of the Human body by medical science increases.

It's a good thing that Humans weren't designed by Apple in California.

I wonder what score the iFixit team would rate the Human body for repairability

London neocloud Nscale takes its $1B loss to Wall Street

Re: Cashing out?

The Telegraph reports

"Sir Nick Clegg in line for up to £30m from AI deal

Ex-deputy PM holds over 900,000 shares in tech firm planning stock market debut

Sir Nick Clegg stands to make as much as $40m (£30m) from the Wall Street flotation of an AI company he joined six months ago."

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2026/09/21/sir-nick-clegg-in-line-for-up-to-30m-from-ai-deal/

Kerching!

Amazon shows Meta's Muse AI shopping agent the door

The Prime Directive

Amazon won't like customers using 3rd party bots capable of defeating attempts at checkout to trick you into signing up to Prime

NASA gives SpaceX a billion reasons to keep flying Crew Dragon

All the more reason to put the idea to the boss that he should be the first serving POTUS in space, and Musk should accompany him.

Nothing will go wrong, right?