* Posts by Fruit and Nutcase

3800 posts • joined 10 Jul 2013

LOL ;-) UK govt 2 pay £39m 4 txt msgs 4 less thn 2 yrs

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Re: Daniel Layton

Any donations to political parties?

International Space Station actually spun one-and-a-half times by errant Russian module's thrusters

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"Working My Way Back to...

You[a normal attitude]"

by the Detroit[Houston] Spinners

Redpilled Microsoft does away with flashing icons on taskbar as Windows 11 hits Beta

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Paris Hilton

blue pill

Announces the order for Viagra has been dispatched and is on it's way

Jack Dorsey's side hustle – payments outfit Square – acquires buy now pay later darling Afterpay for $29bn

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Re: Remember Lay by?

I thought we'd seen the back of the likes of Wonga, Crazy George's/Brighthouse and the plethora of other parasitic businesses who target the people who are the people least suited to avail themselves to the financial equivalent of quicksand.

You MUST present your official ID (but only the one that's really easy to fake)

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Allo, Allo!

Monsieur Dabbs: It is I, Leclerc[Dabbs], man of a thousand faces!

Madame Dabbs: All of them the same.

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Re: Many times...

"Wish I could play the guitar like him, wouldn't be sitting here setting up pc's if I were".

That must be a real heartbreaker

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QED

"I'm rubbish at pretending to be someone else, code or no code."

https://regmedia.co.uk/2013/06/28/bonds.jpg

Russia says software malfunction caused Nauka module to unexpectedly fire thrusters, tilt space station

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Joke

Re: One thing is for sure

"...and the fact that Earth may have disappeared from one of the windows"

Did the Earth move for you comrade?

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Re: Huh?

The Russians did have the technological edge with the MiG-31 and thought control, but was outfoxed by Clint Eastwood in Firefox.

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Mushroom

You were only supposed to

blow the bloody doors off[dock with the space station]

Giant Tesla battery providing explosion in renewable energy – not as intended

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Re: It's not online yet

Smoke?

No difference to the Roadsters and, has Elon been smoking a joint or two, or more?

Bill for HMS Vanity Gin Palace swells by £50m in two months

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Alert

Re: Scrap value

Let's hope the Royal Navy don't get down to 1 carrier anytime soon at the hands of the Chinese...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-58015367

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Scrap value

The cruise industry has been scrapping quite a few ships due to lack of demand - why doesn't the government pickup one for scrap value and spend £50 million doing it up - that will still be less than the write off cost of Boris' garden bridge folly

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-47228698

...£53million

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Re: Boaty McBoatface

I am sure the RRS 'Sir David Attenborough' does not have wallpaper costing £700 a roll nor furniture designed by Boris and Carrie's favourite designer.

UK's National Cyber Security Centre needs its posh Westminster digs, says Cabinet Office, because of WannaCry

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Dido Harding

Danger!

Now that she's not got the NHS gig, she'll be looking for something she has first hand experience of. A shoeing for the next head of the NCSC.

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Re: Gideon Osborne

He's Numero Uno at the British Museum now.

I do wonder how and why

Ex-health secretary said 'vast majority' were 'onside' with GP data grab. Consumer champion Which? reckons 20 million don't even know what it is

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Joke

Vox populi

down the Honest Politician pub in Newmarket, after the local MP has bought a round of drink for everyone (on expenses). Afterwards when he asked them if they were 'onside' with the GP data grab, the majority were not sure. After a few more rounds, and the vast majority of people in the pub had left, of the remaining, the vast majority were 'onside' with the proposed motion - namely, the publican announcing 'last orders please'

SSD belonging to Euro-cloud Scaleway was stolen from back of a truck, then turned up on YouTube

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Carrier Pidegon

Or for bigger payloads, how about Vultures?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/8248056.stm

UK celebrates 25 years of wasteful, 'underperforming' government IT projects

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Joke

Re: small proportion of permanent secretarieshave first-hand experience of digital business change

Not sure about Latin, but this (EU) civil servant was definitely somewhat accomplished in writing haiku

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8358504.stm

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Trollface

Re: small proportion of permanent secretarieshave first-hand experience of digital business change

I should cocoa! The current incumbent in No. 10 is struggling by on around £160k + perks plus very good pension entitlements to run the country, but can't afford a nanny and home decorating costs, and even had to accept food parcels.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/13502334/how-much-does-prime-minister-earn/

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Re: A government spokesman

"Government Reform[Regroup]."

Regroup: old flames, old school chums, college frat club members etc

Good news: Jeff Bezos went to space. Bad news: He's back

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Thumb Up

Re: Astronaut? Really?

Colbert on Bezos: ‘Billionaires and their rockets end up looking just like each other’

“Now all day, the news networks covered this breathlessly,” he continued. “It was all billed like some sort of big, official, important thing. It’s not. It’s fun, I love space travel, good for them. But it’s not important

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2021/jul/21/stephen-colbert-jeff-bezos-rocket-late-show-recap

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Joke

Re: NSFW

The extra publicity due to the design of the space craft means cross-selling opportunity for these on Amazon. Satisfaction guaranteed, in 10min 20 seconds or less.

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10 minutes and 20 seconds

How much did the ex-CEO of Amazon earn whilst he was away/And will his financial advisors argue that some of that figure is not taxable as he was "away from the bounds of Earth" for some of that time?

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Re: "Mission"??

Mission Pointless/Pointless Mission

Google Cloud's Intrusion Detection Service attempts to make security 'invisible' but cost will be the big giveaway

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Invisible intrusion

That is where Google snoops on you in as many ways as it can dream up

England's controversial extraction of personal medical histories from GP systems is delayed for a second time

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Alert

Bend Over

This won't hurt a bit

Says the government minister in charge of delivering patient data to their paymasters

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Re: GDPDR v GDPR

GDPR - General Data Protection Regulation

GPDPR - General Practice Data Pimping and Remuneration

I no longer have a burning hatred for Jewish people, says Googler now suddenly no longer at Google

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He's leaving under a Cloud

He'll have time on his hands now to write something else

Happy 'Freedom Day': Stats suggest many in England don't want it or think it's a terrible idea

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Re: England != UK

"The governments of Cymru, Scotland and (amazingly) even NI seem to have a natural aversion to killing their citizens."

Whereas as the buffoon in Downing St. would appear to have a different view,,,

"Boris Johnson was reluctant to tighten Covid restrictions as cases rose last autumn because he thought people dying from it were "essentially all over 80", Dominic Cummings has claimed."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-57854811

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Re: "If not now, when?"

"...a new variant could be produced due to the UK loosening Covid restrictions"

Credit where credit is due - that should be named "The Boris variant"

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Re: I'm off

"... bozo will ensure that covid casulties among the younger and poorer generation go up"

That's his "levelling up" agenda

Cyberlaw experts: Take back control. No, we're not talking about Brexit. It's Automated Lane Keeping Systems

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They don't like it up 'em

As Cp Jones would have said

Buyer of $28m Blue Origin space ticket has a scheduling conflict – so this teen will go instead

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Did you dream about that freefall experience all your life/since the age of 4?

Annoyed US regulator warns it might knock SpaceX's shiny new Texas tower down

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Paris Hilton

Re: Someone has to say it

Is that a tower you are building or are you just pleased to see me? Asks FAA inspector from Musk

Trouts on a plane: Utah drops fish into lakes from aircraft and circa 95% survive

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Joke

Leisure time

With the amount of time some anglers seem to spend on their sport, it's a wonder that they manage to breed

It had to happen: Microsoft's cloudy Windows 365 desktops are due to land next month

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DaaS Kapital

Kerching!

UK govt draws a blank over vaccine certification app – no really, the report is half-empty

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Trollface

Re: Here in the EU...

The virus doesn't care where you were born or what passport you have. By travelling you may be spreading the virus the same as anyone else, so why should you have special treatment?

In the case of the Delta variant, Boris was desperate to go flag waving in India, so the UK kept travel open to India until it was too late.

The price of vanity

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Re: Blank pages

They forgot to insert pictures of Boris visiting the sick and dying (not from covid), like Diana, Princess of Wales or Mother Theresa. And the rest of the space was to be filled with Union Flags

Huh, it's as if something happened that made people not like CentOS so much

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Re: Not exactly a surprise.

I too am holding off on 8, and sticking with 7 for my new development machine. Still got 3 years to see how things develop.

Bailing out of Centos to a RHEL Developer subscription.

https://developers.redhat.com/articles/getting-red-hat-developer-subscription-what-rhel-users-need-know#

As Europe hopes to double its share of global chip production, Intel comes along with $20bn, plans for fabs

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Re: "But not Brexit Britain"

not to worry, the government will buy it/provide subsidies for vast amounts of it's current value not long after

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Re: "But not Brexit Britain"

British farmers will be tasked with growing Organic potatoes for use as a raw material in British Chip Fabs. Intel Inside[Powered By British Spuds]

South Korean uni installs lavatory that pays out when you spend a penny

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Re: Just thinkin'...

that's a crap idea

It's all in the mind: Thought-command slot car racing in the city of the future

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Pint

Beer?

I'd have thought the first prerogative of a vulture journalist at large would be to to concentrate the mind on ordering ->>

Windows 11 still doesn't understand our complex lives – and it hurts

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There was no reason my local Windows, where I was running the Teams app under my personal ID, should know about it.

I think Windows/Microsoft knows more about you than say your Mother knew how your bottom looked when she used to change your nappy

I had a similar problem due to a company Microsoft id/authentication thinking that I still worked for a company I left months ago.

Oracle files $7m copyright claim against NEC's US limb over 'unreported royalties' from database distribution

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Joke

Re: Only benefit ?

aka "audits".

The other organisation of which I have heard the term "audits" and cost in terms of money and ties to the organisation is the Church of Scientology.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_Scientology

"The Church of Scientology[Oracle] is a group of interconnected corporate entities and other organizations devoted to the practice, administration and dissemination of Scientology[Oracle Databases], which is variously defined as a cult, a business or a new religious movement."

Oracle Legal - please note the icon --->

ditto Scientology Legal

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This must have been a litigation by the interns/new graduate intake at Oracle Legal department - just a bit of practical training for the big stuff later on

Richard Branson uses two planes to make 170km round trip

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Black Helicopters

Re: Uses two planes...

And a bicycle.

The Guardian reports

Before take off, he arrived at the spaceport on a bicycle and greeted his crewmates with hugs. “It’s a beautiful day to go to space,” he tweeted.

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