* Posts by Nevermind

54 publicly visible posts • joined 27 Jun 2013


Contract killer: Certified PDFs can be secretly tampered with during the signing process, boffins find


Maybe this explains why a major UK corporate has taken to creating forms, memos well, wtf, everything in Excel ,xlsx format

Excel Hell: It's not just blame for pandemic pandemonium being spread between the sheets


Re: Blame the user not the tool

Yes, or you work in a big corporate with enough clout to refashion all your textual forms as Excel spreadsheets because that's the only tool you know how to use for easy layouts (why am I thinking of chimpanzees and sticks here?)...Word obviously not your cup of tea, PDF forms completely non grata...."ah excel" you go and you even password protect it. When the user offers to make it better (read usable), just say "Well, no one else has complained so no"....

Looking at you RR, you cockwombles.

Pen Test Partners: Boeing 747s receive critical software updates over 3.5" floppy disks


Re: Honestly..

I think some do...I sold some unused surplus a few (4? 5?) years back to a guy who worked for a company that supplied nav data to some aircraft. Haven't flown since as I can't remember which plane type it was.

Reg readers have not one, but TWO teams in Folding@home top 1,000 as virus-bothering network hits 2.4 exa-FLOPS


Locked down offices

Yep, although I have my now "furloughed" office computers folding on medium. I bet there's a lot out there that could be running.

Watch out, everyone, here come the Coronavirus Cops, enjoying their little slice of power way too much


Shoot people?

The very thought...


Ever had a script you just can't scratch? Excel on the web now has just the thing


Re: As always, the big problem with Excel...

Ah, even more "creatives" use Excel as a text template for all their memos, reports etc....in a well known big corporate..if it has numbers, then it's called a matrix, not spreadsheet.

Buzz kill: Crook, 73, conned investors into shoveling millions into geek-friendly caffeine-loaded chocs that didn't exist. Now he's in jail


Re: I don't get it...

It is already a thing, I like the plain one...https://www.scho-ka-kola.de

Customers in 'standoff' with SAP over 2025 end of support for Business Suite: Who'll blink first?


I'm not saying everything SAP does is wonderful but

I have a couple of customers using SAP, I think the "bad things" that SAP gets the gong for are probably dependant on the implementation at the user end. for example 99% of my customers manage to place a purchase order that's one, maybe 2 pages...SAP "enabled" customer has 3 pages of prefomatted bilge then 3 pages of what they actually want....there is no "golden user" to edit the bilge they (and I) have to live with it.

Labour: Free British broadband for country if we win general election


Has Comrade Corbyn announced where the politbureau and gulags will be built?

I nominate the Isle of Wight....just because it's there

Openreach's cunning plan to 'turbocharge' the post-Brexit economy: Getting everyone on full-fibre broadband by 2025


Re: Economic boost of £1700 per worker?

Yet, our local BT/Openretch sales gang tell me that I have to move to VOIP "now". For "only" £11 a month more than present...over the same sh1tty Cu/Alu interconnects. When asked "what about about FTTP on this estate?" I got....."No chance"

Bit of a time-saver: LibreOffice emits 6.3 with new features, loading and UI boosts


Logo off by default

I've just downloaded the edition, selected "custom" just to disable Logo, but It's already disabled...this is win10 so I need to check with the Mint pc...

Or did it just inherit my setup from 6.2.5?



I'm thinking of MS Office 2010 on, rearrange toolbar, oh and that theme change in '13.

Storied veteran Spitfire slapped with chrome paint job takes off on round-the-world jaunt


Re: Arghh!

Ah yes, let's not forget Tom Neill's silver spitfire.


'Cockwomble' is off the menu: Uncle Bulgaria issues edict against using name in vain



"possessing properties of striking idiocy"

Are we talking said Hopkins or Cockwomble here?

Grav-wave eggheads come closer to nailing down Hubble's Constant – the universe's speedy rate of expansion


Re: All of this assumes...

Or the whole thing is a simulation, none of this is real...

(It's Wednesday, I feel parsecs from the weekend)

Cloudy with a chance of colocation: Taiwan's Delta Electronics rolls out beastly 600kVA UPS


Ultron the copyright violation

Well there's Marvel comics and then there's...


Adobe Flash zero-day exploit... leveraging ActiveX… embedded in Office Doc... BINGO!


Re: Flash, ActiveX, Office doc embedding/scripting - should already be DISABLED

Nah, Word has a section called "developer" and in it are a whole selection of activeX non-goodies. I regularly receive embedded MS docs from an evilcorp that thinks it is the ballon de chien at security... cockwombles.

Facebook names former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg head of global affairs


"And the values the Lib Dem's supposedly hold, yet he's working for FB.... says everything you need to know about modern politics (or just politics?), regardless of colour."

Yeah I reckon the MPS are starting to look like 650 shades of beige.

Still he does have form for public apologies.

Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick



Beer option - consume enough and let the world do the 45 deg trick for you. None of that flinging yourself around/special trick malarkey.

Windows 10 April 2018 Update lands today... ish


Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

Hooo no, there are alu joints out there *looking at you BT*

BT pushes ahead with plans to switch off telephone network


Re: Oh well

I've just had their prices, yes it's 15 quid a month more expensive and we have to have the BT hub so they can firkle around with the kit on our side of the net.

Chemical burns, explosive fires, they all come free with Amazon power packs


Re: Acid?

Hydrofluoric Acid I think in this case, the electrolyte is the issue not the metal per se.


CE marked too

Where the CE badge just means "Chinese Export"

Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing


Reminds me..

... of the bolognese sauce filled one I had served me inn South Shields. This one? Chilli sauce and JDaniels on ice.

A certain millennial turned 30 recently: Welcome to middle age, Microsoft Excel v2


There is a big plc out there who use Excel for absolutely everything bar number crunching by the way I receive reports, reviews, document templates...because they find it easy to put text in a box I guess...let me tell you, it is f*ck*ng painful to have to read these 3 screen wide by 10 screen deep text efforts when really, it could have been done in (Agh)Word, or Writer or even Notepad, but NOT Excel.

I bet they have CLAIT qualifications in it too...

ZX Spectrum Vega firm's lawyers targeted by empty-handed backers


The only people getting any benefit...

are the legal bods. Perhaps RCL might like to rename themselves Bleak House or something.

Two-thirds of TV Licensing prosecutions at one London court targeted women



....door-to-door salesmen, styled as “inspectors”

I wouldn't style them as "salesmen" either...weren't they "enforcement officers" before this make cuddly and fluffy rebrand?

Tech moguls dominate Oxfam's rich people Hateful 8



Worth a look:-


What should the Red Arrows' new aircraft be?


How about...

Reapers? Crowds can then watch the pilots at the controls...or have the planes fly autonomously with software provide by Tesla.

If you use ‘smart’ Bluetooth locks, you're asking to be burgled


What is this device/activity?

"the good ones can't survive a screwdiver"

Sounds smutty to me.

You can buy Windows 10 Enterprise E3 access for the price of a coffee


Re: you pay 7 bucks for a coffee?

And let's not forget the horde of desk squatters in big uk biz that use excel-as-word-form, excel-as-gannt-chart, excel-as-document/report. Get them to use the appropriate software package is nigh impossible now, let alone tell them to use libre writer.

Scientists want you to know how to have sex with a hyper-long dong


Nearly news

This is the sort of stuff that should be on BBC newsite,..interesting info about body-length cocks......oh wait

Bill Gates cooks up poultry recipe for Africans' paltry existence


Hang on

Where's the DevOps angle in this?

EU mulls €3bn fine for Google


Re: Seriously...

"Google really need to get around to buying an island and calling it a nation state."

Now that would solve the Gibralter issue as well, have a pint.

We're calling it: World hits peak Namey McNameface


What about.....

Devy McDevOps, the new bling buzz bollox tool for making a pile as a "guru" of said pile?

I'll get me coat...Pinty McPintface is 3 hours away.

French duck-crushing device sells for €40k



Can I just use my fifty quid fruit press? Works fine on the homemade cider.

First, catch your duck.....off to the pond then.

Prince of pop trash PerezHilton pwned, visitors hit with cryptxxx


No poop Poirot

And the advertising industry would rather cry about nasty people using ad-blockers, than deal with the security of the structure that allows malvertising.

Snake oil ads land China's top search engine in trouble


Re: Dodgy adverts!

Aha! You haven't tried DevOps yet...you need it, El Reg says you need it...or will do before the weeks out.

The Devils of DevOps stick it to YOU


DevOps fail

Sorry AB, but the ElReg exam on DevOps clearly stated "1000 words on DevOps" . Yesterday we had a nice 1000+ one and our punters rubbed themselves down with it....but yours is only 880 words, please amend DevOps style and get it up to 1000. Oh yes, our readers really can't get enough of it...we use it as click bait.

Academic network Janet clobbered with DDoS attacks – again


end of term?

I'm with Nik, term started 11/04 and runs to July here.

Web backup biz Monster Cloud monstered after monster price hike


Re: Another dot com manager is going to bite the bullet

Hmm yeah, and for £36 I can reach out and buy a 1 TB HDD every month for my er cloudy backups

El avión de papel del proyecto PARIS aterriza en un libro de texto


Re: Interesting.

Oh, no será una manta húmeda tal.... niño grande .

Blah Blah blah ... I don't care! To hell with your tech marketing bull



...and after a lengthy and, at times, emotional resignation post, Mr Pott says he will be spending more time in the garden...maybe adopting a rescue kitten at some point.

But you do have a point regarding the churn/deluge of crap PR sir.

Ad-blockers are a Mafia-style 'protection racket' – UK's Minister of Fun



Hold this thought Mr Whittingdale....I the consumer would like to retain a choice between surfing the net and surfing the ads, and all flavours in between. I therefore like to be able to enforce my particular choice on my browser and I don't need to read about how hard done by the ad industry is. Ad and Marketing departments....jog on.

Child tracker outfit uKnowKids admits breach, kicks off row with security researcher


Re: Nearly there

Kids database security SNAFU and " followed up with specifics and full disclosure of the impact would have been much more grown up."

I see what you did there, have an upvote.

Send tortuous stand-up ‘nine-thirty’ meetings back to the dark ages



I once worked for a cockwomble who decided , as no-one really wanted to attend his meetings so they'd drag themselves kicking and screaming to them only after he went to the "meeting room", that from now on anyone late would be "fined" 20p per minute of lateness.

Next meeting who's late by 10 minutes? Yep Sir Cockwomble himself who tried to breeze into the meeting....and then felled by yours truly saying loudly "Wait, that'll be two quid Colin". Oh I'd be six foot under for the stare I got....bloody marvellous!

Brit hardware hacker turns Raspberry Pi Zeros into selfie slayers


Re: Bit of a self righteous prick then!

"prick" in the title, and "twat" in the snark...is it transgender day or something?

Reg reader achieves bronze badge, goes directly to jail


Re: Holy shit!


Seagate sales droop: It was a nearline miss, says CEO


Ethernet filling

Hmm yummy ethernet filled drives....whassat then?

BORN to HURL: Man's shoulders are head and shoulders above apes, gorillas, chimps etc


Stoolball...that is all