Posts by fruitoftheloon

Hey, I wrote this neat little program for you guys called the IMAC User Notification Tool

Re: Dick Move

Dick,

yep I heard that one in the late eighties when I started working for a leasing company!

Cheers,

Jay

Stop using that MacBook Pro RIGHT NOW, says Uncle Sam: Loyalists suffer burns, smoke inhalation and worse – those crappy keyboards

@Da Weezil: Re: Customer service?

DW,

thanks for the heads-up on that, apparently it should permit me to enable bluetooth phone stuff on our Q7.

Cheers,

Jay.

Give my regards to Reigate: Print biz Canon to up sticks in the sticks

@Velv

Velv,

so what is it then?

[Hint] facts not opinions...

Over to you.

Cheers,

Jay

Never let something so flimsy as a locked door to the computer room stand in the way of an auditor on the warpath

@Jake: Re: Wouldn't Happen Here

JAke,

likewise, I was a PM managing the replacement for dekstop PCs for HMRC [IRS for our cousins across the pond], I get to one of my sites [Birmingham airport], my crew are all sitting around instead of removing old PCs, turns out that the site facilities manager was on hols, and the key to the store where all the new PCs were stashed was in her [locked desk].

I point out that we are not waiting days/whatever for someone to sort master keys for pedestal locks, so 30 seconds later, judicious use of leatherman tool and one now very broken lock is open.

Senior HMRC jobsworth says 'you can't do that', I point out that I just have and tell them to get on with their work.

Our regional PM was very happy about that...

Cheers,

Jay

Facebook: Yeah, we hoovered up 1.5 million email address books without permission. But it was an accident!

@Colin:Re: Here i fixed that for you

Colin,

I mean, the cheek of it, X% of the folk in the UK having a different opinion to you...

Jay

Reliable system was so reliable, no one noticed its licence had expired... until it was too late

@Loyal commenter:Re: Remember Y2K?

LC,

so if I adopt your logic, [nearly] everyone that voted remain is clever, has very strong morals and goes to church/synagogue/mosque regularly..?

Jay

Users fail to squeak through basic computer skills test. Well, it was the '90s

@You're still not spartacus:Re: Mice are not particularly intuitive

IaS,

I have a marginally bonkers autistic brain, many years ago I damaged my right wrist using a mouse, so I then moved across to a Wacom tablet.

I'm also ambidextrous, so I would use a pen in my left hand [to tick things off of a list], and the wacom tablet-pen in my right hand - simultaneously, shortly afterwards I realised I could write backwards with my left hand but nor forwards...

Hence an incredibly useless ability, but it did spook the hell out of a lot of colleagues, also I can read upside down and back to front quicker than most people read normally.

Cheers,

Jay

Did you know that iOS ad clicks cost more than Android? These scammers did

@Brain dead AC

AC,

you are a pillock, I suspect you have had the misfortune to meet someone who voted leave, and they happened to be a narrow-minded moron who 'wanted the foreigners out' or somesuch drivel; then you fired up both neurons at the same time to get the amazing conclusion that all leave voters were the same as that sad case...

WE ARE NOT!

That does not mean that everyone who voted to leave is equally thick / bigoted as our hypothetical 'leave' voter.

If you seriously believe that enough folk saw what was written on the side of a bus then decided to vote leave instead of remain, I really hope you don't have a job that has too much responsibility, because your judgement is very suspect indeed...

BTW is there any particular reason why you are hiding behind the cowards' curtain today?

Regards,

Jay.

Big data at sea: How the Royal Navy charts the world's oceans

@AC

AC,

my [now retired] wife was part of the team that did the same thing to come up with modern [IMRT] cancer radiotherapy treatment.

Part of the research project involved using umpteen scans of a patient, then someone got someone to use a CNC mill to make a metal 'mask' that was used to give a more accurate does of radiation to treat the patient without so much of the side effects of dosing areas that ideally you wouldn't.

Fun stuff eh?

Jay

Surprise! VAT, customs likely to get a bit trickier in a Brexit no-deal world

@BigSLitleP:Re: Can anyone

BigSLitleP,

I agree with most of what you said, but not all those who voted Exit are idiots, which does suggest that everyone who voted to remain isn't...

Painting with a wide brush eh?

Thanks for your input.

Jay

@AC:Re: This Train Wreck is getting interesting

AC,

err, why will inflation be going up to 10% within 15 months?

Just wondered...

Jay

Bloke hurls sueball over Google's 'is it off yet?' location data slurping

Question

Does anyone know if it as well buried in the UK/EU as well??

Jay

Three more data-leaking security holes found in Intel chips as designers swap security for speed

claptrap314: Re: Going a bit overboard, El Reg

Ct,

I disagree with some of your post.

Jay.

Typed on an excellent Blackberry KeyOne - which I bought from a high street phone shop in Exeter.

Cheers,

Jay.

Top Euro court: No, you can't steal images from other websites (too bad a school had to be sued to confirm this little fact)

@ac

Dear AC,

I assume that you don't make your living by any creative arts?

If so, how would you feel if I acquired the organisation you worked for, then insisted that you do 50% extra hours per week, but with no additional compensation?

I assume that as the ' I think it's OK so i'm happy to steal the benefits an artist would get from their work' approach is fine by you, it cuts both ways..?

Something to ponder eh?

Jay.

The American dilemma: Competition, or fast broadband? Pick one

Welcome to The Land of the Fee

It's shocking, and in the not the least surprising...

Ooi we're in a 16c cottage in the middle of Devon in a little village - very rural by UK standards, we get BT Fibre 2 - 60 down/100 up most of the time, which costs £35/month (line rental & calls extra). Actually quite reasonable in comparison.

It's funny when dim tourists/visitors are surprised that we even get broadband...

I didn't realise how much you get screwed on the left side of the pond

Jay

If you're serious about securing IoT gadgets, may as well start here

@Thoguht

Thoguht,

indeed, howsabout folk that use iPhones???

Cheers,

Jay

Sysadmin sank IBM mainframe by going one VM too deep

@missing semicolon: Re: VM/CMS

ms,

I use Apple adjustable ergonomic keyboards with an ADB to USB adapter.

They are the canines gonads..!

Cheers,

Jay.

CEST la vie, IR35 workers: HMRC sets out stall for ignoring Mutuality of Obligation

@Herring: Re: Just a question

Herring,

I could be wrong, but I don't see who you would sue as you are not entitled to it, due to it not being in your contract in the first place.

Morally if you're paying the same £% as a permie you should get the same trimmings, but since when has HMRC ever had any concerns about being reasonable and moral???

Cheers,

Jay

Leatherbound analogue password manager: For the hipster who doesn't mind losing everything

Re: Captain Scarlet: Name > website / Phone No. > password

CS,

ta!

Regards,

Jay

@AC: Re: I've got a better solution...

AC,

yup, same here, except for my primary email and e-banking etc..

Jay

Captain Scarlet: Re: Name > website / Phone No. > password

CS,

could you recommend a pwd manager for Mac OS please?

Cheers,

Jay

Who fancies a six-core, 128GB RAM, 8TB NVMe … laptop?

@JDX:Re: People stopped dual-booting 20 years ago.

JDX,

quite, it's amazing how many people don't realise that the rest of the world uses tech in a different way to them...

Cheers,

Jay

Drug cops stopped techie's upgrade to question him for hours. About everything

onefang: Re: @Kevin Johnston: It's a sound salvation.

Onefang,

Good point!

Atm there are no michaels in his class...

@Kevin Johnston: Re: It's a sound salvation.

Kevin,

I tip my hat and raise you an 'oops, didn't think of that...'

If wifey and I found something to be particularly effective, whizzy or generally spiffing, we have been known to refer to it as 'orgasmichael', which was great; right up until the point where we realised our very bright 8yo lad was also using it; I have since heard one of classmates using it too!

Pandora and her f'ing box and all that...

Cheers,

Jay

Trainee techie ran away and hid after screwing up a job, literally

@Alan Brown: Re: Basic mechanical ability

Alan,

tell me about it !

As I have mentioned hereabouts before, I pick our lad up from school, which a lot of women find REALLY weird, plus when asked about what wifey does for a living, I initially say 'she works in the hospital', the woman [it is ONLY ever a woman] replies: "so she's a nurse then?"

My reply: nah she's got a masters in nuclear medicine and astrophysics, and is part of the team responsible for the invention of modern radiotherapy treatment, which they are a little surprised to hear, I could be wrong but I don't imagine their daughters inherit much imagination and big dreams from their mums!

Cheers,

Jay

Re: @pɹɐʍoɔ snoɯʎuouɐKey word is "Trainee"

Yup!

@pɹɐʍoɔ snoɯʎuouɐRe: Key word is "Trainee"

pɹɐʍoɔ snoɯʎuouɐ,

quite, my now retired dad spent 7 years learning to be a decorator, apparently the first year was just rubbing stuff down, the last year was working with gold leaf, marbling and graining...

I remem him stating that then (when stuff were done prop'ly) it took longer to become a decorator than it did a lawyer - I doubt that is the same nowadays...

Cheers,

Jay

Meet TLBleed: A crypto-key-leaking CPU attack that Intel reckons we shouldn't worry about

@AC:Re: Okay...Intel CPUs provide security exploits

AC,

possible, how would you evidence it..?

Regards,

Jay

Microsoft's new Surface laptop defeats teardown – with glue

@Kevin: Re: Add it to the pile of coal.

Kevin,

indeed, same for our Jeep Grand Cherokee, one f'ing heavy item...

Jay

Tech rookie put decimal point in wrong place, cost insurer zillions

Re@; : Lira?

Ac,

You're right, we don't have fiat.

Quite a few others seem to be doing OK...

Regards,

Jay.

Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside

@little mouse: Re: "Don't talk to the ATM..."

LM,

I usually do thank the ATM after it has dispersed some cash, as it wasn't all that long ago when I didn't have any overdraft left to be used..

(Now I have a little bit of overdraft left)

Cheers,

Jay.

Clock blocker: Woman sues bosses over fingerprint clock-in tech

@AC

Ac,

if you're not bothered about leaving personal idents everywhere, why are you hiding behind the cowards' curtain then????

Jay

EmDrive? More like BS drive: Physics-defying space engine flunks out

@jtom

Jtom,

I take it you're not married to scientist?

Your post is a little weak (uncharacteristically subtle by my usual standards)..

Jay.

TSB's middleware nightmare: Execs grilled on Total Sh*tshow at Bank

@ac

what have you got to hide?

Re: Slaughter and May

the specialist,

I was in the room when a v senior manager had an interesting discussion with a colleague who was 'wordly wise' about acronyms thereof and urls..

most enlightening for a young techie!

@Keith oborn Re: yep, lying

keith,

likewise for first direct (very rarely)...

@Ledswinger: Re: along with bringing in solicitors Slaughter and May

Ledswinger,

indeed, I was responsible for figuring out how to automate getting their many documents to Office 97 (and back if it went wrong) when the big green button was pressed to migrate to NT & Office 97.

Slaughter & May were VERY switched on.

Obvs this was 'nowt on the scale of a banking migration, but it worked properly...

Jay

Brexit has shafted the UK's space sector, lord warns science minister

Re: @Rob. D.Whats the issue?

rtfazeberdee

do you actually have a clear, structured point to make here, or are you just pointing fingers and laughing like a child in the corner????

Jay

@TVU:Re: @Rob. D.Whats the issue?

TVU,

may be, how accurate do you think recent IMF forecasts have been about the UK economy?

Just wondered...

Thanks for your engagement.

Jay

@Rich 11: Re: @Rob. D.Whats the issue?

Rich,

to what?

Regards,

Jay

@Lars:Re: all its very same golden-year grey heads that largely voted for Brexit

Lars,

please provide a link to a statistically valid study with the aforementioned in, then I will gladly stand corrected.

Regards,

Jay

@Rob. D.Re: Whats the issue?

Rob,

speak for yourself: assumptions, presumptions and biases that is...

On the plus side [for the remoaners] this may actually be something negative about Brexit [and actually real] that they can pin their flags to

Jay.

No way, RSA! Security conference's mobile app embarrassingly insecure

Does RSA stand for

Really shite apps?

Yes, I do know what it stood for [past tense]...

Jay

Man who gave interviews about his crimes asks court to delete Google results

@Ivan 4

Ivan 4,

heaven help any poor bar steward who is due to be judged by their peers and you are part of the jury...

Jay

Trump buries H-1B visa applicants in paperwork

@Smudge:Re: The Donald is a winner!

Smudge,

how dare you insult the commander-in-orange...

Jay

Batteries are so heavy, said user. If I take it out, will this thing work?

@wyatt

Wyatt,

funny you should say that, my missus still wonders every now and then why her tablet thingy doesn't work, at which point I remind her [again] to perhaps charge it up occasionally.

Ooi she has a masters in nuclear medicine & astrophysics and can design linear accelerators, but keep a phone & tablet charge? WAY too challenging.

Still makes me chortle anyway...

Jay

If this laptop is so portable, where's the keyboard, huh? HUH?

@AC:Re: There's portable... and then there's portable

AC,

I once had some critical stuff to finish over the weekend, so the company got taxis to help me take a microvax & VT340 home for the weekend...

Now that was HEAVY.

Jay

Apple's HomePod beams you up into new audio dimensions

Re: @SuccessCase:Love the Picture (with the Hacksaw)

SC,

my friend, I have no interest in other folks reviews; I am however very interested in my ears.

I heard it in the apple store, and for what it is, it is quite acceptable, what it clearly IS not is hi-fi, I have never been one for willy-waving where hi-fi is concerned, but I shall make an exception:

- we have a very good Sony SACD player, which we play SACD and normal discs on

- we have more than good enough speaker cable, which whilst not in rip-off territory, is more than good enough

- a £600 onkyo amp, which apparently gets good reviews

- and lots of big & good tannoy speakers (the front ones were even made in England)

This, all together SOUNDS GOOD to my ears, the homepod DOESN'T

Let me re-iterate, I didn't say that I am right and everyone else is wrong -'cos it's subjective.

If folk had only ever heard their music played on a phone (or via their dreadful Beats headphones) then heard it on a homepod they would rightly consider it a substantial improvement-and it is.

But hi-fi? err no...

Btw I regularly work with pro musicians and my main client has a very nice recording studio here in Devon, so I think I have better experience of quality audio than Joe or Jane average...

Thanks for your engagement anyway.

Jay

@SuccessCase:Re: Love the Picture (with the Hacksaw)

SC,

you are laving a laugh aren't you? I was picking up my [repaired] MBP yesterday in the Exeter apple store yesterday, the remarkably keen 'yoof' staff were demonstrating the Homepod.

You can measure performance in any way you like, but if it doesn't actually SOUND good, what's the point?

It sounds f'ing diabolical, we have £200 of Tibo Plus 3 speakers on our kitchen dresser, and comparing the two is like putting a transistor radio against a proper hifi.

For reference we have £3.5k of tannoy speakers in the lounge and I have some pretty good Tannoy monitors in my study, so I know what quality should sound like...

I can see why some folk would love it, that's just fine, but hi-fi? No way...

Ymdv

Jay

Shopper f-bombed PC shop staff, so they mocked her with too-polite tech tutorial

@AC:Re: ATT drone

AC,

love it, but do you realise what the REALLY scary thing is?

Some of these f'wits HAVE CHILDREN...

Cheers,

Jay