* Posts by Tom Haczewski

36 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Jul 2007

'Exomoonologist': NASA can detect forest moon of Endor

Tom Haczewski

That's no moon...

...it's a moon-seeking space telescope.

Baby-roasting BBQ pulled from Sears site

Tom Haczewski


Indeed - another classic example of the Streisand Effect. Will they never learn!?

Next Grand Theft Auto to reward good behaviour?

Tom Haczewski
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Believe it or not...

...there is actually an option in GTA4 to give buskers (usually on the underground metro stations playing the sax) your spare change!

Of course, it'll probably be frowned upon in the new game if you then beat them to death with a baseball bat. Unless that's classed as cleaning up the streets?

Can you talk and drive?

Tom Haczewski


You're absolutely right, there's no difference. It's all to do with distraction - but essentially if the Gov can get away with charging £60 every time someone's caught on a phone while driving (easy to prove due to mobile phone records) then don't you think they will!?

Also, I just took the test and passed - but didn't notice the 'surprise'. Does that make me a bad driver? I don't think so. I still SAW all the pedestrians crossing the road, which is the important thing - surely it doesn't matter what the hell they were wearing!!

*Steps off soapbox*

Pirate Bay loses trial: defendants face prison time, hefty fines

Tom Haczewski

Does this mean...

...that Google will be taken to court next? After all, they link to many different types of copyrighted work, not to mention all that nasty 'alternative' pornography and whatnot... where does it stop?

Sniper-aiding app arrives for iPhone

Tom Haczewski
Black Helicopters


...that's it's out on the same day as the inauguration?

If there ever was a case for bad (or good) timing, this is it!

Nokia reveals Tube's UK launch date

Tom Haczewski


...is 'plectrum touch'? I'm assuming the only thing this is useful for is the inevitable guitar-strings application?

The key to safe driving?

Tom Haczewski
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Not quite right

"We'd like to know if it's smart enough to detect you've stopped so you can make a call safely, even if you've left the engine running."

Well technically speaking the law says that to make a call safely you should pull over, and turn the engine off - so if it doesn't work with the engine still running, it's a good feature?

Like the idea in general though, nice idea, even if not entirely enforcable.

PS3's Home to debut tomorrow

Tom Haczewski
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@ Important

Sony already tried that, using SonicStage (bane of my life) and their music store. It failed and they pulled it. Whether it would work on a console or not... who knows. I wouldn't use it personally.

HD movies however, Xbox is trying although they seem to be rental-only and rather overpriced, which is a great shame!

Channel 4 in Heathrow Playmobil reconstruction shocker

Tom Haczewski
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Cheeky bastards

El Reg, how could you. How could you go forward in time (with that machine, YOU KNOW THE ONE) and steal Channel 4's idea.

You cheeky, cheeky bastards.

Manhunt 2 to hit UK on Halloween

Tom Haczewski

@ 'Eh?' - There are no PS3/360...

...releases because it only uses 'first gen' graphics, I.E. no HD here.

It was made solely as a Wii game, which is why it was supposed to be banned in the first place - it's going to be interesting, acting out the motions of sawing a man's head off with a Wiimote.

Although I'm pretty sure it won't turn me into an axe-wielding psychopath, HA HA!

Mine's the white one with the leather straps around the arms...

UK.gov plans central database for all your communications

Tom Haczewski
Black Helicopters


"Unregistered mobile phones and VoIP services like Skype mean that the proposed law will catch only the densest of criminals."

Of course. Because this is yet another surveillance system put in place to spy on the general public under the guise of thwarting 'terrorism' or 'crime'.

Call me a cynic, but CHRIST - is it not obvious?

Taking the piste: Wii to bring skiing to the living room

Tom Haczewski


Yes, the PS3 did. I believe you're referring to "Go! Sports Ski" which got a rating of 2.1 on IGN, has only 2 playable courses, and the controls suck. 'nuff said.

Nasty JavaScript code can zap new iPhone, iPod Touch

Tom Haczewski

I love


NASA embosses space images for the blind

Tom Haczewski


Isn't that just Braille? Lots of dots (i.e. stars) on a bit of paper.... Maybe they could hide messages in the stars!

Or maybe we'll see (pun) our first 'Touch-based-simulacrum'

"Pass me that picture of Venus again... wait a minute! This doesn't feel like Venus! It's the Virgin Mary!"

Apple to charge $20 for iPod Touch update

Tom Haczewski
Jobs Horns

Rip off.

I for one will not be updating my iPod Touch. Being charged to update the device with, quite frankly, the apps and features that should have been available from launch is a kick in the teeth.

I'll be jailbreaking it instead. Congrats Apple! You almost converted me to the Dark Side with your lovely touch screen musical player, and now you've pushed me away.

NY corpse attempts to cash welfare cheque

Tom Haczewski

Sure is lucky he wasn't in the UK

Over here, he wouldn't have a welfare cheque anyway because they would have sent it with a courier. TNT of course...

Kid's 'new' MP3 player was preloaded with smut

Tom Haczewski


"Mum, how do I load High School Musical on my MP3 player?

Oh wait, it's already on here, except it's called High School Sluts. Where's the 'play' button?"

Car crash driver blames pterodactyl

Tom Haczewski

@ Sam

I believe you're referring to a short film, with that chap who played Sam in Lord of the Rings in it. It was one of those 'Masters of Science Fiction' films.

They must be based on real life!

Nintendo Wii said to 'attract cockroaches'

Tom Haczewski


Methinks it's a brand-smearing ploy by Sony. Reminds me of a certain line in Anchorman...

"I've heard their periods attract bears. The bears can smell the menstruation!"


NASA reveals manned Mars mission plans

Tom Haczewski
Paris Hilton

And the obvious...

Can we send Paris?

We can tell her it's a humanitarian mission, we know how much she loves those - when in fact she'll have heard about the 28-month-or-so tan, and will agree whole-heartedly.

And the thought of the mission becoming jeopardized due to radiation poisoning / lack of repair skills / malfunction / someone pigging all the oxygen would mean nobody back on Earth would have a problem putting her on the craft.

Axe hangs over UK town's analogue TV signal

Tom Haczewski

@Anonymous Coward

Wow, somebody got out the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Don't worry, El Reg. We loyalist Vultures knew what you meant.

eBay glitch wipes out 11 year-old account without a trace

Tom Haczewski
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@ the 'Fuck eBay'ers...

You're absolutely right of course - the experience and service is completely shoddy. I've had several run ins with eBay before, who palm you off to PayPal - and then PayPal send you back to eBay, it's ridiculous.

The problem is they can get away with it because they know that no other service on the web comes close to what they do. eBay knows they have no competition on the web, and for the foreseeable future, this will be true.

It's a shame - but they're starting to not give a crap, because of this fact. Poor show.

Paris Hilton exits missionary position to save Universe

Tom Haczewski
Paris Hilton

How about...

Paris leaves a mark on the world. A skidmark.

Domino's pizza prices may rise

Tom Haczewski
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Bloody Dominos

I prefer Pizza Hut. The last two times I ordered from Dominos they got the order completely wrong - and when you're paying so much for the damn things you'd think they'd at least get it right. Plus our drivers are very rude, and 'never carry any change' - my arse.

Pizza Hut is much better. Affordable and the flavour's better.

TV-Links man: 'I'm no master criminal'

Tom Haczewski
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I still don't get this.

Surely he's done nothing illegal. Technically speaking.

If you were walking down the street and asked a pedestrian "where's that chap that sells pirate DVDs?" and the pedestrian answers "over there, in that alley" then surely he's done nothing wrong. You couldn't nick the bloke - he's just pointed to somewhere else. He's not provided any dodgy content himself.

The same applies here. He provided LINKS, and that alone - no actual hosted content.

I reckon he'll get away with it.

Dreaded Blue Screen of Death mars some Leopard installs

Tom Haczewski


Good point. Perhaps it has some pretty reflections, or a metallic sheen, to make the whole BSOD experience a bit more pleasant so as not to panic the unsuspecting fairy using the thing.

Bloody Macs.

Microsoft pays $240m for tiny sliver of Facebook

Tom Haczewski
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@ Michael Greenhill

Whilst I would normally agree with you on this, Facebook is slightly different from most social networking sites.

Sites such as 'Bebo' and 'Myspace' are indeed, more about Emo kids crying over kittens and teenage males to spread pictures of their torsos. However, Facebook started as a tool for those going to university to stay in touch -and has now spread to allow anyone to use it, so in fact it's a great way to a) stay in touch with people that have moved away, and to see what kind of thing they're up to very quickly; b) let everyone know of any news you have, or events you have, very quickly; and c) find people you may have lost touch with a long time ago.

As a matter of fact, it's not for meeting NEW people - it's more for staying in touch with old friends.

I don't use MySpace, Bebo, or any of the others - but will gladly admit that I use Facebook. Try it out - you might like it... ;-)

Paris Hilton heads for the cryogenic freezer

Tom Haczewski
Paris Hilton


"I love having everything documented. It shows people what everyday life is like for me, how hard I work."

Aye, we've seen your documentaries, love - they certainly do show how hard you work.

I'm with Ian S, stick her in the freezer now.

S60 users go Wiiiiiii

Tom Haczewski


...have they still not come up with a phone with inbuilt taser?

I'd pay good money for that.

Windows Genuine Advantage cries wolf (again)

Tom Haczewski

I had that once...

...last year when I was running XP. Needless to say it was quite a surprise - like you say, Tom, it doesn't even suggest that you MAY have been 'victimized' but it basically points the accusing finger and shuts things down! When you pay that sort of money for an OS you don't really expect that sort of *ahem* 'customer service'.

It's the equivalent of buying a car, then the dealer spotting you in the road and saying 'HANG ON A SEC, I don't think you bought that car - lets just take away your servicing, air con, sat nav - all the lovely features until we get this straightened out'.

Not entirely fair!

Use of web archive was not hacking, says US court

Tom Haczewski

Completely agree

If these muppets don't know that if you publish your stuff to the web and don't password protect it, people might read it they should probably get a new, non-IT job.


El Reg issues Satan word alert

Tom Haczewski


I don't know that word. But it doesn't seem to be trademarked...


PC World, Orange, and Pipex sneeze out broadband offers

Tom Haczewski


Yet anothing company having trouble defining the word 'free'.

'Free' means free of charge. I.e. no charge. I.e. PAY NOTHING. So how come it costs an extra £69.99 on top of your broadband package?


El Reg seeks ultimate 'nom de sex'

Tom Haczewski

To Peter Ford...

Fair enough to Madonna, but isn't Kylie 'Kylie Minogue' and Beyoncee is 'Beyoncee Knowles'? They do actually have second names that they choose not to use (probably because they're rubbish)

US nutter counts to one million on net

Tom Haczewski


Well at least it's Vodka and not something more sinister. I mean, nobody would put anything ^dodgy^ in their freezer, would they..?