* Posts by DwarfPants

108 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Jun 2013


Doctor gave patients the wrong test results due to 'printer problems'


They should feel the pain

"It was only then that my boss began to teach me that it is often easier to find and apply a solution than it is to educate a user,"

That does not stop me trying. They need to have some comprehension of the magnitude, complexity and effort that is required for their request/issue.

I particularly enjoy

- Schrodinger requests: When we do X = Y should happen. Unless it shouldn't, followed by a list of criteria which results in do X != Y at precisely the same time as X = Y

- Rare occurrence exceptions. Does not happen often, so we will handle it manually. Followed by a massive panic and drama as the very thing that does not happen often occurs repeatedly and is some how our fault.

Our software is perfect. If something has gone wrong, it must be YOUR fault


Re: '...own web-hosted user community forums...'

Hornets appear to get a free pass. Maybe its the similarity of paint job, or just size and pointy stinger, or they are cool and dangerous (from an entomological point of view).

The group does come with a snowflake warning of dead things with pins through them.

You would have thought a hover fly was a better match than and ant, apparently not

Only a fool would confuse a Beefly with a bee.


Re: '...own web-hosted user community forums...'

Don't post a hoverfly to a Bees, Wasps and Ants group. It advice for your own good.

Quantum systems maker D-Wave takes the SPAC route


Very good, I see what you did there. The best cat Icon I can manage

Pentester pops open Tesla Model 3 using low-cost Bluetooth module


Re: Always-on Security Hole

I understand the need for escalators from the gym, but not to it.

September 16, 1992, was not a good day to be overly enthusiastic about your job


Re: "Everyone had to leave" knee-jerk reaction

Beware the custom job title, due to minimal conversion effort to redundant role at company convenience.

Stick to something nice and generic, preferably were there are a lot of the same role already in existence; project engineer, sales person etc. no need to make it easy for them.

Microsoft tests ‘Suggested Actions’ in Windows 11. Insiders: Can we turn it off?


Not the most likely action

The most likely action when copying a phone number is not to ring it.

It is to put it in some other piece of correspondence or some form or data collation tool. If I want to ring it I will use my phone with its handy address book, no copy and paste required.

Please stop, and whilst you are at it make paste as plain text the default.

Airtag clones can sidestep Apple anti-stalker tech


Re: I find his Send-My far more interesting

There are no use cases I can think of, like bugging, remote surveillance, network snooping that could be enabled by Send-My.

The whole find-my network thing seems badly thought through/implemented. Can people not use the historic approach; lose keys or other important item, go through pain of sorting it out*, make a point of not misplacing important stuff for the remainder of life.

* rediscovery of lost item may occur after this point.

Car radios crashed by station broadcasting images with no file extension


Odd that it looks more like a revenue stream than a cannon, but I take your point.

Bouncing cheques or a bouncy landing? All in a day's work for the expert pilot


Re: VGA port = serial port

Are you sure a different width would make a difference? other than increasing the force used

I own that $4.5bn of digi-dosh so rewrite your blockchain and give it to me, Craig Wright tells Bitcoin SV devs


Re: I only have questions

I think £16m and $4.5b are both valid valuations, just taken a couple of hours apart

Desktop bust and custom iPhone 13 Pro made from melted-down Tesla car for the Elon Musk dork in your life


Made of genuine Marketinghypium

steel-colored but still Aluminum, probably cans and swarf before it was a Tesla

A Windows 11 tsunami? No, more of a ripple as Microsoft's latest OS hits 5% PC market


Re: It's not a ripple

My company is still migrating to W10, there is little danger of W11 making an appearance anytime soon.

LAN traffic can be wirelessly sniffed from cables with $30 setup, says researcher


I Knew it

"What this shows is that even an unplugged Ethernet cable can radiate energy which is detectable." when a network cable is unplugged all the packets fall out of the end on to the floor, I have warned people.

Watchdog 'disappointed' it took NHS England over a year to release details of access to Palantir COVID-19 data store


Non-IT Showbiz update

The Kurgan, voices Mr Krabs his spare time.

There can be only one.

(get the CD, LP in the foyer on the way out)

Giant Tesla battery providing explosion in renewable energy – not as intended


Re: Smoke 'em if you've got 'em.

A pain in the ass to extract, did not have the same ring to it as Rare.

NHS England staff voice concerns about access controls on US spy-tech firm Palantir's COVID-19 data store



I wonder if you can unmask an anonymous commentard by cross referencing the post vote increase against the user account vote totals.

PrivacyMic looks to keep your home smart without Google, Alexa, Siri and pals listening in


Re: Another to distrust

Would the use of personal massagers be picked up in the data? Asking for a friend.

Mine is the overcoat, socks and shoes combo.

Today I shall explain how dual monitors work using the medium of interpretive dance


Re: Examples...

But surely a PDF file is just a word document in disguise.

Protip: If Joe Public reports that your kit is broken, maybe check that it is actually broken


Default response

In the politest possible way assume the caller is

- Misguided

- Does not know what they are doing

- Cannot be bothered or too overloaded to do their job / check

- Lying

Until you have proof to the contrary

Seeing a robot dog tagging along with NYPD officers after an arrest stuns New Yorkers

Paris Hilton

Re: "less accurate when people don’t fit the norm"

Lockdown has made hair long for everyone (usual exceptions apply: bald people (not quite there yet), people with hair trimmers, people with a competent hair dressing person in the household)

Roll on the mullet removal operation tomorrow, no more hair bands for me.

Daughter asked, now my hair is longer what am I going to have done? No.2 on the sides and back, shorter on top. I see no reason to change style after 40 years, that way madness lies.

Home office setup with built-in boiling water tap for tea and coffee without getting up is a monument to deskcess


Do you need gloves as well?

For keeping your hands warm whilst handling the documents you keep in the fridge

Their 'next job could be in cyber': UK Cyber Security Council launches itself by pointing world+dog to domain it doesn't own


Re: Why?

Twice in one day, El Reg should implement an auto Monty Python inserter. Perhaps a third tab "Enter you comment", "Add an icon", "Monty Python quotes"

Yes, there's nothing quite like braving the M4 into London on the eve of a bank holiday just to eject a non-bootable floppy


Just got myself a second hand industrial lock stich, 4000 stiches per min. Good job I am making new trousers.

And anything a user says should be considered a lie until proven otherwise. Best treated as a general hint. Which is about all they appear to be recently "There has been a error", oh dear that is sad, you have my condolences.

ZIPX files that aren't: Keep a weather eye out for disguised malware in email attachments


There was almost a standard here

.docx = Zipped xmls representing a word doc

.xlsx = Zipped xmls representing an Excel doc

.lnconfigx = Zipped xmls representing a LaserNet configuration

.zipx = Zipped xmls representing a zipped document?

UK minister tries to intervene after Government Digital Service migration mangles Ministry of Justice webpages


Re: Crossed swords with GDS

1 - Attend a tech conference

can be interchanged with

1 - Read an inflight magazine article

Clop ransomware gang leaks online what looks like stolen Bombardier blueprints of GlobalEye radar snoop jet


OneDrive - In the sand, I am not being very helpful am I


Forget GameStop: Keyboard warriors and electronic trading have never mixed well


That would be an OhNoOh Second.

Definition: The gap between some irreversible action and the realisation it is a bad thing

How do we combat mass global misinformation? How about making the internet a little harder to use


Re: The death of Google search

My reason for googling myself is to make sure I don't appear.

Mine is the one with the turned up collar and the Fedora.

Must 'completely free' mean 'hard to install'? Newbie gripe sparks some soul-searching among Debian community


My personal favorite examples

Windows, Installs fine writes loads of stuff to the hard drive, except compatible hard drive controller driver. Rebooo....oh

Not really driver, Linux multiple screen setup. Two screens exactly as I want them. Reboot no trace of ideal configuration or even the ability to set it again.

these are both historic and offer great learning experiences, if you don't want to get on with whatever it was you were installing the stuff for in the first place

Surprise, surprise: AI cameras sold to schools in New York struggle with people of color and are full of false positives


Re: Eh?

must be detecting some sort of frown.

Privacy campaigner flags concerns about Microsoft's creepy Productivity Score


Unwanted and pointless

It will certainly end up as a stick to beat someone somewhere.

Aside from that it turns out:

I communicate with my team most often

I communicate with my customers less than my team

I answer and send emails

I participate in meetings and calls

I looked for bears crap in the woods and the percentage of Popes that were Catholic metrics, but they appear to be missing

I opted out of the emails they seem to require several seconds to open.

Provides no clue if it I should be communicating more*, but if I communicate more I am less productive. Am i trying to hit some magic probably secret ratio**

* Introvert and happy with my own company and have no intention of communicating more

** Will end up being part of the annual Pointless Development Review

It's always DNS, especially when a sysadmin makes a hash of their semicolons


Re: Anyone who ever dabbles in vi

Searches for crib sheet on another computer/desk because I cannot touch keyboard for fear of doing something and not realizing it has been done or knowing how to undo it.

q! dammit, escape, q! q!

Zoom strong-armed by US watchdog to beef up security after boasting of end-to-end encryption that didn't exist



I have some tidyness concerns about people seeing my office.

IBM manager had to make one person redundant from choice of two, still bungled it and got firm done for unfair dismissal


Re: One day, out of the blue...

Have your HR been on the sympathy and empathy course? Without having taken the authenticity and truthfulness modules they are a waste of time.

What a Hancock-up: Excel spreadsheet blunder blamed after England under-reports 16,000 COVID-19 cases


If MS did increase the number of columns, it would not make a lot of difference to the worst use of Excel I get to experience every week.

Whoever decided putting an error report in Excel where two or three fields are shown on each tab and it takes two or more tabs per record was a good idea needs some percussive reeducation. I truly appreciate the 2000 sheet monstrosity they have created. I hate you even more as you forced me to dust off my VBA skills to turn it into a single readable tab, I thought I had moved on.

What price your home delivery? Amazon accused of hiding real injury rate in its overworked warehouses


Re: *Sobs Openly*

Absolutely truthful if "Nothing" is considered to be a thing,

"Nothing" is more important than health and safety.

and profits are way more important than "Nothing"

Microsoft leaks 6.5TB in Bing search data via unsecured Elastic server. *Insert 'Wow... that much?' joke here*

Big Brother

Valuable data

It is obviously very valuable to MS seeing as it periodically just said Meow and nobody noticed.

Or it is usually full of cat picture searches and it saying Meow was not out of the ordinary

Google bans stalkerware apps from Android store. Which is cool but... why were they allowed in the first place?


Re: Great they are doing this...

I also missed the sarcasm.

I trust my children to be doing all the things I did as a youth that you would not want your parents to know about.

As a parent rather than use an app to track them, I fall back to the tried and tested methodology of imparting wisdom that you can see being ignored at the time of delivery and concern/worry/alarm (situation dependent). If all else fails I try to ignore, retire to the shed, and purge real life from my head.

Ink tanks park themselves all over the lawns of Western Europe as orders flood in


Reading the branding guide lines you would have thought biblical floods and droughts are not a problem merely an inconvenience, relative to the colours being wrong and don't even think about cropping the white space so it fits on the statutory documents.

Icon, real world consequences, obviously

Repair store faces hefty legal bill after losing David and Goliath fight with Apple over replacement iPhone screens


This guy gave evidence in one of these cases

Louis Rossmann gave evidence in one of these cases and posted a follow up video where he clarified the problem as not being refurbished screens but 3rd party replacements where the manufacturer had helpfully added an apple logo "for their domestic market".


Campaign groups warn GCHQ can re-identify UK's phones from COVID-19 contact-tracing app data


Re: Numpties!

its just a zip file containing a bunch of xmls

Square peg of modem won't fit into round hole of PC? I saw to it, bloke tells horrified mate


Hardware designers have a sense of humor

If you have ever had the pleasure of a LIF processor socket you have experienced it. The L stands for low and can only be considered such if assembling train wheels on to axles is you baseline.

NASA to launch 247 petabytes of data into AWS – but forgot about eye-watering cloudy egress costs before lift-off


Re: Just wondering

I have been in a cloud it was cold and wet.

Attention! Very important science: Tapping a can of fizzy beer does... absolutely nothing


Re: This theory always puzzles me

I am inclined to down vote but have't due to it only being an illustration of gas solubility in water, but Carbonated Tea! all my ancestors are simultaneously turning in their graves.

LightAnchors array: LEDs in routers, power strips, and more, can sneakily ship data to this smartphone app


Re: Why on earth

My wife is not allowed to use super glue for this very reason. Though I don't think adding an LED would help her.

RuneScape bloke was wrongly sacked after reading veep's salary details on office printer


Re: This is why...

My experience of this is "we are so busy/efficient we do not have the time wait (even walking across the the room will reduce our utilization to unacceptable levels) for the print so must be able release the document from the web portal" creating the problem scenario all over again. Strangely there still appears to be time for a gossip and an extended tea break.


Re: Odd But

Its a power thing. It allows all sorts of backroom deals and favorites. If I ruled the world this would be transparent.

Welcome to the World Of Tomorrow, where fridges suffer certificate errors. Just like everything else


RFID tags are not the answer

The teenagers will have eaten all the content leaving the packing and RFID tags to provide invalid data to the inventory function.

Audible hasn't even launched its AI-powered book subtitles and publishers have already fired off a sueball


Re: Reinventing the wheel

Whats the point? (apart from circumventing some legal restriction). The reason you are using an audio book is because you cannot or don't want to read the text. It just sounds like putting a book through google translate a couple of times, which could result in some interesting/confusing plot deviations.