Posts by DwarfPants

Microsoft sends Windows Control Panel to tech graveyard

Settings: No you cannot set a static IP without DNS the internet won't work.

The sky will fall and we will have to call the king's support desk

but, but I only want to do some connectivity/chattyness testing or access a device so I can change its address to work with the environment it is in.

Control panel: Fill your boots, I don't care that it might not work, I assume you know what you are doing and/or can manage to google it (note probably not on this computer unless it has more than one nic).

Study backer: Catastrophic takes on Agile overemphasize new features

I have, it did not work

I once worked for a software company that also used it software to deliver engineering projects. The owner was a big agile fan and insisted we use it in engineering. It is however a little difficult to analyse a model when it does not exist, and whilst you can start making very large and expensive castings from a model without analysing it, the rework because it failed is both embarrassing and expensive.

You either end up with a sprint of just one thing as it has to happen first or a bunch of people sitting around waiting for the things that have to happen first to complete or at least be close enough to be useful.

Users call on Microsoft to update Outlook's friendly name feature

Headers anyone

Whilst they are at it make it possible to see the headers without doing a jig and sacrificing our first born. To be fair Microsoft are better than others in this area Google mail on phones I am thinking of you.

Tesla Cybertruck turns into world's most expensive brick after car wash

Hollywood Opportunities

In the current climate of money for old rope from Hollywood the CyberTruck is world of possibilities

Cyber Truck don't get it wet or feed it after midnight

Will the aerodynamics let it do 88 miles per hour?

You can probably do a death racer 2024 or Scream holding part of an accelerator pedal in threatening manner

Legal campaigners challenge UK.gov decision to redact NHS-Palantir contract

Well Duh!

"At the time, an NHS spokesperson said the Foxglove pre-action letter "fundamentally misunderstands how the Federated Data Platform will operate and is totally incorrect.""

Well that's probably because the contract is unreadable.

Scripted shortcut caused double-click disaster of sysadmin's own making

It is mandatory to have a Oh No Oh Second experience

We all need to have had that sudden panic at least once in our lives, preferably on our own/test systems.

It teaches the fallibility of human condition in the clearest terms.

It is where we get our fear of things we don't fully understand and has us reaching for the manual, making n+1 backups and only when forced do we ignore this sagely wisdom "Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus"

IT networks under attack via critical Confluence zero-day. Patch now

Re: * ..Introducing SMARTR in LOVE Bug Hunting for Universal AI Exploit and COSMIC Export/Import

Still looks like the result of putting a dictionary in a blender.

Long-lost 1977 Star Wars X-Wing prop discovered – lock s-foils in bid position

Re: I mostly want

The sign of a misspent youth and being of a certain age. Me, I have never seen this particular cinematic master piece, honest. You could put it on display and see how many people recognize it.

Not even Dynamics 365 ERP is safe from Microsoft's Copilot splurge

Scope creep

Users mess it up with their own intelligence, they can now apply two intelligences at the same time. Yay!

Florida man insists he didn't violate the law by keeping Top Secret docs

Re: First-past-the-post is the first thing that needs to go.

Indeed. If everyone just voted for who they actually wanted, rather than thinking it would be a wasted / protest vote and voting for Waldorf or Statler, we might actually end up with some significantly different results even in our first past the post system.

For most values of politicians, I am also fairly convinced that anything like hung parliaments that restricts politicians actually doing whatever their current flight of fantasy is, might be a good thing.

Robot can rip the data out of RAM chips with chilling technology

Re: You have physical access

No visible legs on the chip for their spring clip thingy to attach to in the milliseconds they have available. I guess if you have the access and the time you could de-solder them from the board and stick some extension legs in between it and the board, then do the freezy thing.

Crypto catastrophe strikes some Atomic Wallet users, over $35M thought stolen

They may even have been; broke, millionaire, broke, millionaire, broke, broke, destitute

While(1)

{

CryptoBalance = rand()

}

Predict stocks, foresee public opinion, all kinda possible with ChatGPT-like models

Re: Channelling One's Inner Donald Rumsfeld :-)...

it's unlikely to make it any more readable

Guy rejects top photo prize after revealing snap was actually made using AI

Re: Thumbnails...

This image is cropped in the article, the original has a third hand on the right hand side, suggesting the hands on the right are from a third person. However, its still a bit weird down that side.

Probability of hands in photo of person 80% -> add more. Probability of hands looking correct 10% judging by the images in this collection (though that could just be art).

Samsung reportedly leaked its own secrets through ChatGPT

Or the same useful as it won't ingest its own turds and disappear up its own probability

School principal resigns after writing $100,000 check to Elon Musk impersonator

Re: "I am very smart"

For true credibility you have to have more than 40 years experience in online social media.

Games Workshop once again battles scariest monster of all: ERP gone wrong

And then to blame it on the ERP system

Amen Brother

see title

Women sue Apple claiming AirTags helped their stalkers

I think the points being made as far a anti-theft is concerned

- Most people don't leave their phone attached to the thing they don't want stolen, as they are trying to minimise their losses, using an air tag instead. As the phone/device is not near the air tag it goes in to anti stalker mode alerting the thief to the presence of the air tag, dramatically reducing its efficiency as a covert property tracking device.

- Things are generally stolen when you are not standing next to them, muggings and robbery being the obvious exceptions. In these scenarios loss of property might be the least of your concerns.

Doctor gave patients the wrong test results due to 'printer problems'

They should feel the pain

"It was only then that my boss began to teach me that it is often easier to find and apply a solution than it is to educate a user,"

That does not stop me trying. They need to have some comprehension of the magnitude, complexity and effort that is required for their request/issue.

I particularly enjoy

- Schrodinger requests: When we do X = Y should happen. Unless it shouldn't, followed by a list of criteria which results in do X != Y at precisely the same time as X = Y

- Rare occurrence exceptions. Does not happen often, so we will handle it manually. Followed by a massive panic and drama as the very thing that does not happen often occurs repeatedly and is some how our fault.

Our software is perfect. If something has gone wrong, it must be YOUR fault

Re: '...own web-hosted user community forums...'

Hornets appear to get a free pass. Maybe its the similarity of paint job, or just size and pointy stinger, or they are cool and dangerous (from an entomological point of view).

The group does come with a snowflake warning of dead things with pins through them.

You would have thought a hover fly was a better match than and ant, apparently not

Only a fool would confuse a Beefly with a bee.

Re: '...own web-hosted user community forums...'

Don't post a hoverfly to a Bees, Wasps and Ants group. It advice for your own good.

Quantum systems maker D-Wave takes the SPAC route

Very good, I see what you did there. The best cat Icon I can manage

Pentester pops open Tesla Model 3 using low-cost Bluetooth module

Re: Always-on Security Hole

I understand the need for escalators from the gym, but not to it.

September 16, 1992, was not a good day to be overly enthusiastic about your job

Re: "Everyone had to leave" knee-jerk reaction

Beware the custom job title, due to minimal conversion effort to redundant role at company convenience.

Stick to something nice and generic, preferably were there are a lot of the same role already in existence; project engineer, sales person etc. no need to make it easy for them.

Microsoft tests ‘Suggested Actions’ in Windows 11. Insiders: Can we turn it off?

Not the most likely action

The most likely action when copying a phone number is not to ring it.

It is to put it in some other piece of correspondence or some form or data collation tool. If I want to ring it I will use my phone with its handy address book, no copy and paste required.

Please stop, and whilst you are at it make paste as plain text the default.

Airtag clones can sidestep Apple anti-stalker tech

Re: I find his Send-My far more interesting

There are no use cases I can think of, like bugging, remote surveillance, network snooping that could be enabled by Send-My.

The whole find-my network thing seems badly thought through/implemented. Can people not use the historic approach; lose keys or other important item, go through pain of sorting it out*, make a point of not misplacing important stuff for the remainder of life.

* rediscovery of lost item may occur after this point.

Car radios crashed by station broadcasting images with no file extension

Odd that it looks more like a revenue stream than a cannon, but I take your point.

Bouncing cheques or a bouncy landing? All in a day's work for the expert pilot

Re: VGA port = serial port

Are you sure a different width would make a difference? other than increasing the force used

I own that $4.5bn of digi-dosh so rewrite your blockchain and give it to me, Craig Wright tells Bitcoin SV devs

Re: I only have questions

I think £16m and $4.5b are both valid valuations, just taken a couple of hours apart

Desktop bust and custom iPhone 13 Pro made from melted-down Tesla car for the Elon Musk dork in your life

Made of genuine Marketinghypium

steel-colored but still Aluminum, probably cans and swarf before it was a Tesla

A Windows 11 tsunami? No, more of a ripple as Microsoft's latest OS hits 5% PC market

Re: It's not a ripple

My company is still migrating to W10, there is little danger of W11 making an appearance anytime soon.

LAN traffic can be wirelessly sniffed from cables with $30 setup, says researcher

I Knew it

"What this shows is that even an unplugged Ethernet cable can radiate energy which is detectable." when a network cable is unplugged all the packets fall out of the end on to the floor, I have warned people.

Watchdog 'disappointed' it took NHS England over a year to release details of access to Palantir COVID-19 data store

Non-IT Showbiz update

The Kurgan, voices Mr Krabs his spare time.

There can be only one.

(get the CD, LP in the foyer on the way out)

Giant Tesla battery providing explosion in renewable energy – not as intended

Re: Smoke 'em if you've got 'em.

A pain in the ass to extract, did not have the same ring to it as Rare.

NHS England staff voice concerns about access controls on US spy-tech firm Palantir's COVID-19 data store

Deannomisation

I wonder if you can unmask an anonymous commentard by cross referencing the post vote increase against the user account vote totals.

PrivacyMic looks to keep your home smart without Google, Alexa, Siri and pals listening in

Re: Another to distrust

Would the use of personal massagers be picked up in the data? Asking for a friend.

Mine is the overcoat, socks and shoes combo.

Today I shall explain how dual monitors work using the medium of interpretive dance

Re: Examples...

But surely a PDF file is just a word document in disguise.

Protip: If Joe Public reports that your kit is broken, maybe check that it is actually broken

Default response

In the politest possible way assume the caller is

- Misguided

- Does not know what they are doing

- Cannot be bothered or too overloaded to do their job / check

- Lying

Until you have proof to the contrary

Seeing a robot dog tagging along with NYPD officers after an arrest stuns New Yorkers

Re: "less accurate when people don’t fit the norm"

Lockdown has made hair long for everyone (usual exceptions apply: bald people (not quite there yet), people with hair trimmers, people with a competent hair dressing person in the household)

Roll on the mullet removal operation tomorrow, no more hair bands for me.

Daughter asked, now my hair is longer what am I going to have done? No.2 on the sides and back, shorter on top. I see no reason to change style after 40 years, that way madness lies.

Home office setup with built-in boiling water tap for tea and coffee without getting up is a monument to deskcess

Do you need gloves as well?

For keeping your hands warm whilst handling the documents you keep in the fridge

Their 'next job could be in cyber': UK Cyber Security Council launches itself by pointing world+dog to domain it doesn't own

Re: Why?

Twice in one day, El Reg should implement an auto Monty Python inserter. Perhaps a third tab "Enter you comment", "Add an icon", "Monty Python quotes"

Yes, there's nothing quite like braving the M4 into London on the eve of a bank holiday just to eject a non-bootable floppy

Just got myself a second hand industrial lock stich, 4000 stiches per min. Good job I am making new trousers.

And anything a user says should be considered a lie until proven otherwise. Best treated as a general hint. Which is about all they appear to be recently "There has been a error", oh dear that is sad, you have my condolences.

ZIPX files that aren't: Keep a weather eye out for disguised malware in email attachments

There was almost a standard here

.docx = Zipped xmls representing a word doc

.xlsx = Zipped xmls representing an Excel doc

.lnconfigx = Zipped xmls representing a LaserNet configuration

.zipx = Zipped xmls representing a zipped document?

UK minister tries to intervene after Government Digital Service migration mangles Ministry of Justice webpages

Re: Crossed swords with GDS

1 - Attend a tech conference

can be interchanged with

1 - Read an inflight magazine article

Clop ransomware gang leaks online what looks like stolen Bombardier blueprints of GlobalEye radar snoop jet

OneDrive - In the sand, I am not being very helpful am I

https://youtu.be/yBKcr1lM3rQ

Forget GameStop: Keyboard warriors and electronic trading have never mixed well

That would be an OhNoOh Second.

Definition: The gap between some irreversible action and the realisation it is a bad thing

How do we combat mass global misinformation? How about making the internet a little harder to use

Re: The death of Google search

My reason for googling myself is to make sure I don't appear.

Mine is the one with the turned up collar and the Fedora.

Must 'completely free' mean 'hard to install'? Newbie gripe sparks some soul-searching among Debian community

My personal favorite examples

Windows, Installs fine writes loads of stuff to the hard drive, except compatible hard drive controller driver. Rebooo....oh

Not really driver, Linux multiple screen setup. Two screens exactly as I want them. Reboot no trace of ideal configuration or even the ability to set it again.

these are both historic and offer great learning experiences, if you don't want to get on with whatever it was you were installing the stuff for in the first place

Surprise, surprise: AI cameras sold to schools in New York struggle with people of color and are full of false positives

Re: Eh?

must be detecting some sort of frown.