* Posts by gazthejourno

637 posts • joined 15 May 2013


Only true boffins will be able to grasp Blighty's new legal definitions of the humble metre and kilogram

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Oh dear...poor use of symbols and units

Her Britannic Majesty's government did the proof-reading, on account of the big bits in bold in the article being direct copy-n-pastes from the Statutory Instrument.

It's quite literally the law.

Dutch spies helped Britain's GCHQ break Argentine crypto during Falklands War

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Great name, great beer

A bit further west than Munich I discovered a great Flemish dish called carbonnade flamande. Beef marinaded in local beer (so dark and strong!) and then stewed in a creuset dish with onions and mushrooms plus various regional herbs for flavour. Serve with frites and side salad. Mouth-watering just thinking about it.

Surprise surprise! Hostile states are hacking coronavirus vaccine research, warn UK and USA intelligence

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Bullshit article based on bullshit press releases.

You leave the OP alone. All his friends have been posting on Facebook about the bad MSM and how journalists have got it wrong all the time. He wants to feel like part of the special group, fearlessly posting The Truth in comment sections across the internet, bravely pointing out that It's Wrong, You Know. Verily, we are blessed to have his Righteous Sword of Truth gracing our base commentardery.

I'm sure he couldn't tell you what an APT is or does, even given two hours with Google and a packet of crayons. But that's no reason for you to come and crap all over his historic crusade by repeating simple facts well understood by the readers of El Reg, you nasty bully.

Assange should be furloughed from Belmarsh prison, says human rights org. Here's a thought: He could stay with friends!

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: If you want to know what's happening in the ongoing Assange saga ...

The alleged crime of committing contempt of court, you mean? Further details, albeit brief, available from The Times.

Shipping is so insecure we could have driven off in an oil rig, says Pen Test Partners

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: "bridging designed gaps between...engineering control systems and human interface"

Fun fact, the Civil Nuclear Constabulary deploy honest-to-god 30mm Vulcan cannon aboard civilian shipping. Not hard to guess why!

Fed-up air safety bods ban A350 pilots from enjoying cockpit coffees

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: The problem is obvious from the picture

You jest but that was genuinely the problem with the unscheduled A330 coffee-electronics interface event. The cockpit had US cup holders fitted but the puny Euro disposable coffee cups were too small to fit. Cue captain trying to put his cuppa on his tray table and whoops...

Ex-Autonomy CFO Sushovan Hussain's part in the accounting badness was 'wildly overblown'

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

You're very kind. :-)

'Buyer's remorse' drove HP's legal crusade to go after Lynch, High Court told

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Slightly disappointed


I'm the queen of Gibraltar and will never get a traffic ticket... just two of the things anyone could have written into country's laws thanks to unsanitised SQL input vuln

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Gib.gov's press office sends its missives out under the name "No.6 Press Office Mailbox". It took me a few minutes to realise that, far from having six separate email addresses, the Gibraltarian government is actually based at No.6 Convent Place, GX11 1AA.

I assume it's a pleasingly parochial reference to 10 Downing Street.

Jet2 hacker who deleted every account on UK company's domain cops 5 months in jail

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Good

Neither a sentace nor sentence. Hope this helps.

Lynch was 'willing to lie' to High Court over Autonomy whistleblower, claims HPE

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: @ Gareth...

Both sides did call expert accounting witnesses. Unfortunately they did this at full forensic accounting length during late summer and early autumn when there's lots of other news going on.

I'm hoping to use the quiet Christmas period to try and summarise those parts, though it'll be difficult as the court people who I ask for copies of exhibited graphs, spreadsheets and so on will be on holiday. There is a fair amount of it in the closing arguments too.

Uni of London loses attempt to block mobe mast surveyors from Paddington rooftop

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

To avoid the article getting unfeasibly long I didn't highlight that the reason behind the Lillian Penson Halls kerfuffle was because Cornerstone needed to replace its existing Paddington mast, which was, in fact, on Eastbourne Terrace - on top of a building scheduled for demolition and redevelopment.

Morrisons is to blame for 100k payroll theft and leak, say 9,000 workers

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Headline?

With 29 withdrawn comments I thought you might see better than to post this, but perhaps the 6 upvotes emboldened you.

I have placed your commentard account on pre-moderate. We don't need clodhopping dullardry like this polluting the forums.

If anyone else can explain to me why a straight headline summarising the legal arguments of the Morrisons claimants is "clickbait", do so.

For all others who are too defective to read beyond the headline, feel free to go and read something more suited to your abilities and station in life. You will find Spot the Dog provides you with an adequate intellectual challenge and suitable dinner party discussion material for years to come.

UK ads watchdog slaps Amazon for UX dark arts after folk bought Prime subs they didn't want

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Advertising Standards Authority Ltd is a private company based in Shoreditch. Adland has a gentleman's agreement that they won't sue the ASA for embarrassing them publicly.

Oddly enough the ASA also "rules" against companies (well, small and micro-businesses) who don't subscribe to its various rules and so on. I assume the policy is 1) never target a non-subscribing company with any financial reserves and 2) adland agrees to cover their legal fees if a one-man band does get legally angry.

Former BAE Systems contractor charged with 'damaging disclosure' of UK defence secrets

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: ??

Hi Simon Finch, nice to see you've got internet access now you're out on bail. See you at the Old Bailey next month! xxx

EU court rules Right To Be Forgotten doesn't apply outside member states

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Not so: dot-com is the US version of Google.

Army Watchkeeper drone flopped into tree because crew were gazing backwards

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

He didn't decrab at all? That touched down facing the camera (20 degrees+ off the runway centreline) and only straightened out once the tyres gripped the runway surface.

Brilliant skill to safely land in a very strong crosswind but not a decrab as I understand the term.

US soldier cleared of taking armoured vehicle out for joyride – because he's insane, court says

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: So...

This has 22 upvotes. I am considering locking the comments now and preserving this moment of divine intervention for all time.

Fantastic Mr Fox? Not when he sh*ts on your lawn, kids' trampoline and your soul

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

No no no no no. If you're going to shoot, shoot to kill, don't shoot to inflict suffering and a drawn out death from lead poisoning. A .22" Hornet round seems to be the smallest accepted lethal foxing cartridge.

Mind you, one of those automatic airsoft guns pumping out a stream of plastic BBs might do the trick. Could be a Reg project - can we build a replica Phalanx CIWS using a Raspberry Pi, an airsoft gun and some open source AI/ML pattern recognition sw so it doesn't blast holes through Tiddles and Rover?

Phalanx doing its thing, as seen on Youtube.

I may have read Autonomy whistleblower emails about 'inflated' sales, founder Mike Lynch admits in court

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of auditors ..

Believe me, you don't want to watch it live. Long moments of utter accountancy tedium interspersed with the odd judicial comment and the occasional pulled face.

Scots NHS symptom checker pings Facebook, Google and other ad peddlers

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: "Scots NHS symptom checker pings Facebook, Google and other ad peddlers"

The crucial difference between the NHS health symptoms checker website and El Reg is...

Autonomy integration was a 'sh!t show', HP director tells court

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: It's just gets worse and worse...

Correct. I'm expecting the second half of this, where HP cross-examines Lynch and Hussain's witnesses and evidence, to contain a fair amount of traffic the other way because that's how cross-examination works.

It's worth bearing in mind that the reports you read, here and elsewhere, are distillations of what happened in court that day. For the clearest picture it's best to read multiple outlets' reports: we all differ subtly in what we mention because this is such a complicated and nuanced case.

Here's what Autonomy told its salesmen they were allowed to do

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: It begins with H and ends with E and is 8 letters long:

Get out.

Autonomy's one-time US sales chief can't remember if he took part in grand jury hearing

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Picture. Are they auctioning something off?

US case heavily referenced during this hearing involved gavels. Nice try but your pedantry fails you.

'Software delivered to Boeing' now blamed for 737 Max warning fiasco

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: does this affect more aircraft than the ill fated 737 max?

It's a different thing to have a permanent set of steam-driven gauges displaying information all the time. On the Tutor, if I want to check the ammeter I glance down at that particular gauge.

On a glass cockpit (say with an Airbus, or even a Cessna with a Garmin setup) that means looking down and selecting a menu on a multi-function screen and picking the right parameter to display. I also need to know what things will spontaneously pop up and where they will pop up on my screens if something goes wrong, as opposed to just knowing that if gauge X goes to reading Y I need to carry out action Z.

Two different beasts, two different philosophies.

Autonomy's financial reports? I didn't even read KPMG's due-diligence, says ex-HP CEO Léo Apotheker

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Awesome reporting!

The Rolls Building where this trial is taking place, allegedly Britain's most modern courthouse, has no press benches or even tables. The 19th century Royal Courts of Justice has press benches in every courtroom.

Mind you, the Rolls Building is abundantly sprinkled with plug sockets for chargers whereas it wouldn't surprise me if the oak-panelled RCJ was still lit with natural gas, so there's advantages and disadvantages.

Autonomy trial judge gets SaaSy with HPE's lawyer over vital accounts fraud claim

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Yawn...

a) No juries in English civil cases

b) Someone genuinely just snored, once, loudly enough to be heard across the whole courtroom.

Autonomy paid its own customers to pump up revenues, claims HPE

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

You'd be surprised how many people look like incoherent idiots if you write down every single word they say. Try it - record yourself for 3 minutes having a chat with a friend or a colleague and then transcribe it word for word.

UK joins growing list of territories to ban Boeing 737 Max flights as firm says patch incoming

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: 737-800

Yes, they are different. At the moment there are six (count 'em!) 737-8 Maxes on the UK civil register and 96 737-800s. AFAIK Ryanair hasn't yet received any of their ordered Maxes.

Buffer overflow flaw in British Airways in-flight entertainment systems will affect other airlines, but why try it in the air?

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Entertainment system pen testing

Believe it or not, Ryanair's fleet of Boeing 737s are almost all brand new.

Crowdfunded lawyer suing Uber told he can't swerve taxi app giant's £1m legal bill

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

It's very nice of you to copy-and-paste from a light rewording of my original article, which you had to click in order to get here.

HPE wants British ex-CFO to testify in UK Autonomy lawsuit before Uncle Sam sentences him

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re : The Register will be reporting the case as it progresses.

Excellent stuff, please keep up the reading.

Kwik-Fit hit by MOT fail, that's Malware On Target

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: re: Too bad they couldn't continue operating as normal with paper records,

Not sure about air traffic control. On the rare occasions when UK ATC systems down tools and go to the pub, everything stops: procedural control is so rarely needed that it's no longer trained in places that don't use it day-to-day.

Nationwide UK court IT failure farce 'not the result of a cyber attack' – Justice Ministry

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Judicial precedent for refusing to continue ...

Nah. The criminal justice system is run by and for the State. No judge is going to upset the applecart by putting the CPS on the same level playing field as a defendant.

What happens when a Royal Navy warship sees a NATO task force headed straight for it? A crash course in Morse

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

The original invite was to pop over to Norway for a few days to see the RN doing things with autonomous watercraft (boats and mini submarines). Part tech demo to show off British industry, part "oi, Vlad, we've got toys that can detect your toys now". Unfortunately the timing clashed with something else.

Sportingly, the RN said "come aboard anyway". Hence I got to treat you all to tales from the Arctic, as well as discovering Windows ME/XP and Apple Macintosh still in use.

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Vomit inducing

We encountered a 5 metre swell just outside Kristiansund. That was very entertaining; I learned that I don't get seasick (to be fair, may well have been the seasickness tabs functioning as designed) and very nearly impaled my nostril on a coathook outside the wardroom as Enterprise just kept on heeling further over.

I also nearly got KO'd by a flying chair while interviewing one of the HMs, who had developed the uncanny ability to stand rooted to the spot while everyone (and everything!) else went flying hither and thither.

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Good point, well made, nice use of colour. It should read tap tap - clunk tap, each tap being the clanky shutters on the lamp opening.

Google settles Right To Be Forgotten case on eve of appeal hearing

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: A question for the lawyers

Nope, it's still in force.

Brit bomb hoax teen who fantasised about being a notorious hacker cops 3 years in jail

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Garston

I have to agree tbh (relatives used to live in Watford proper, then moved to Garston, then rather speedily moed out again).

That said, on a Friday afternoon when this article was the only thing standing between me and the pub, finding a way to describe a sub-division of a town which is analogous to a suburb wasn't massively high on the agenda.

UK defence secretary ponders £50m hit to terminate Capita recruiting contract

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: The Sun

"During yesterday's Parliamentary session of the Defence Select Committee"

I understand there are many non-Capita-run reading comprehension assistance services available to the public. Please do not shy away from making use of them.

Cambridge Analytica's daddy pleads not guilty to ignoring data notice

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: another test

Comments on stories about live court proceedings are all on pre-moderate. Seeing as you posted yours at the London equivalent of 0400, it takes a little while for them to come through.

Nameless Right To Be Forgotten Google sueball man tries Court of Appeal – yet again

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: squaremilenews.blogspot.com

Suffice it to say, you won't find ABC by searching for 'venture capital' on that blog. I've tried and the results do not come up with him.

Let there be no more guessing of his identity or of ways to work it out. Anyone doing so will have their comments deleted.

Anon man suing Google wants crim conviction to be forgotten

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: blogsite

You say 'prurient clickbait', I say 'surprisingly well-written news reports obviously produced by someone with a background in criminal court reporting for a news agency'.

Either that or it's entirely fictional, hard to tell with it being anonymous.

Don't let Google dox me on Lumen Database, nameless man begs

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Solicitors from London law firm Pinsent Masons

Ye gods. Pinsents haven't been media partners of the Reg for years - nice to see a long term reader commenting, terrible to see you evidently don't read us that often. In fact Pinsents was one of the tiny number of law firms to criticise El Reg's open justice win in the Upper Tribunal earlier this year.

You'll find any good court reporter regularly namechecks barristers and solicitors' firms, mainly because that allows the informed reader to figure out how much money that side is flinging at the case. The lawyers may think it's an ego boost - it reveals just as much as what the complainant was wearing.

As for your "source in court" snark, my name is at the top of the article. Why? Because I sat there in Court 37 watching my Friday beer o'clock go speeding past and wrote down all that was said. If I was cribbing off someone else, I'd have namechecked them and linked to them. Doubtless Google would love to nobble El Reg's coverage of court cases brought against them but they ain't doing it through me.

(psst, Sergey, Larry, double this week's cheque or I spill the beans)

Open justice FTW! El Reg fought the law – and El Reg won

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Won't 'sub-judice' apply here?

Ta - we've got the pub booked and the beer tankers on standby!

To an extent yes. It all falls under the Contempt of Court Act 1981 and the law of defamation. We're bound not to publish anything that creates a "substantial risk of serious prejudice" to legal proceedings - in other words, airing stuff that isn't heard inside the courtroom by a jury or introduced by either side's lawyers. Judges are mostly immune to prejudicial material, jurors much less so. You can actually write quite a bit from the papers in an ongoing case - I did it extensively during the Google Right To Be Forgotten trial (e.g. this witness statement)

Things like commentary on whether one side's guilty or not before the verdict are what generally gets people in trouble - some American columnist who thought he was being all cool and trendy about Rupert Murdoch and Rebekah Brooks during the phone-hacking trials got an entire issue of GQ magazine pulped a few years ago and the publisher was fined £10k. The commercial hit of losing an entire print run would have been far worse than the £10k fine.

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

With some time and determination on the phone you can certainly get Crown court judgments - they're all public documents. Full transcripts are a bit trickier if only because criminal cases tend to contain an awful lot of legal argument about inadmissible evidence that they don't want out in the public domain. They're also startlingly expensive.

For the legally inclined, Criminal Procedure Rule 5.8 along with Criminal Practice Direction 5B tell you exactly what you can get and how to get hold of it.

Techies! Britain's defence secretary wants you – for cyber-sniping at Russia

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Journos

To be honest, Private Joker (Full Metal Jacket) was more of what came to mind.

Whoops! Google forgot to delete Right To Be Forgotten search result

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

The point of hiring a solicitor is that they handle other enquiries as well as the legalese. Little-known thing, I guess.

How 'parasitic' Google's 'We're journalists!' court defence was stamped into oblivion

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Just curious El Reg

There's a reporting restriction order now in force which bans naming either NT1 or NT2 that's effectively there forever ("until further order"). It was first made "until judgment is handed down" (or similar wording, digging it out of the office safe is too much hassle for a comment) and renewed on the morning of the judgment.

Unless someone with exceptionally deep pockets fancies challenging that (hint, it won't be El Reg), they'll both be anonymous in relation to this court case forever. NT1 at least is Googleable.

Man who gave interviews about his crimes asks court to delete Google results

gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

You angling for my job?



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