* Posts by WereWoof

166 publicly visible posts • joined 4 May 2013


Just 22% of techies in UK aged 50 or older, says Chartered Institute for IT


Re: What do we expect?

My late Father bought (had built) a 5 bedroom house in 1960/1961. he was working at CEGB at the time. If he was that age now and doing a similar job there is no way he could afford it. 4 kids and a SAH wife till I was old enough to go to school then she worked as a part time dinner/playground supervisor. Times are a lot different and not for the better.

Catching a falling rocket with a helicopter more complex than it sounds, says Rocket Lab

Black Helicopters

Catch a falling rocket

Catch a falling rocket, with a helicopter

Never let it get away . . . .

With apologies to Perry Como

British intelligence recycles old argument for thwarting strong encryption: Think of the children!


Re: Quite apart from online...

Aternatively ask their position on whether DHMO should be banned . . . .

Boris Johnson set to step down with tech legacy in tatters


Re: Direct your ire...

This! Why on earth would anyone think that degrees in Classics or Art would be a requirement to run a country?

Everyone back to the office! Why? Because the decision has been made


Re: Duty of care

Coming next, an interview with the Minister for Administrative Affairs/

Musk repeats threat to end $46.5bn Twitter deal – with lawyers, not just tweets



This looks like it is could to be like an HP/Autonomy saga *gets the popcorn*

Thinnet cables are no match for director's morning workout


Re: Full names please.......

Did she happen to writs a book called "Cliff Walks"?

Whoop! Robot/human high-fives all round! Oh, my fingers have disintegrated


Zebra Anuses

You owe me a new keyboard for that, though I would not be surprised if such a dish did exist, after all Whale Anus sushi is a thing . . .

Prince Philip, inadvertent father of the Computer Misuse Act, dies aged 99


Re: an "organisation" seemingly in terminal decline

The entire point for that complaints page was to get email addresses of people so they can then send nasty tv license reminder emails.

Out of this world: Listen to Perseverance rover fire its laser at Mars rocks as the wind whips around it


Re: Whispers in the wind

Bowie - Life on Mars.

SpaceX Starship blows up on landing, Elon Musk says it's the data that matters and that landed just fine


Re: Ignition

The glide phase made me think of Gerry Anderson`s Fireball XL5 (no pun intended).

Facebook and Apple are toying with us, and it's scarcely believable


Business as usual

This scaremongering has been going on for a long long time:

Sheet music is going to ruin the lives of musicians

Pianolas are going to ruin the lives of musicians

Phonographs going to ruin the lives of musicians

Tape recorders are going to ruin the music industry

Video recorders are going to ruin the film/tv industry

Napster is going to ruin the music industry

Torrents are going to ruin the music/film/tv industries

Streaming is going to ruin the music/film/tv industries

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose

Has Amazon finally gone cuckoo? Bezos' behemoth turns to crowdfunding for Alexa-powered timepiece



Amazon - Cloud

Amazon - Clocks

+ Cuckoo = Cloud cuckoo land!

After 7 months and 500 million kilometres, the Emirates Mars Mission has to endure 27 nail-biting minutes of engine burn


I just hope

That they do not suddenly hear "This is the voice of the Mysterons"

We bought a knockoff Lego launchpad kit from China for our Saturn V rocket so you don't have to


Re: Lego?

I had Betta Bilda AND Lego!!

Um, almost the entire Scots Wikipedia was written by someone with no idea of the language – 10,000s of articles


+1 for The Broons but don`t forget Oor Wullie!!

Dutch Gateway store was kept udder wraps for centuries until refit dug up computing history


Re: Cow boxes

Somewhere in the loft I have an old catalogue that had a 386 with 4Mb ram for £800

An extra 4MB was to bring it up to 8MB was almost as much as the system itself.

We're not all about rockets, says NASA: Balloon tech is good enough for economical star scanning



Will they be red? Will there be 99 of them?

Twitter ticks off Trump with new 'Get the facts' alert on pair of fact-challenged tweets


Re: I, as President, will not allow it to happen!

Is that not from King of The Cops?

Beardy Branson’s 747-assisted sat-launcher can’t get it up



Who ever expected A Virgin to go all the way . . . . . I`ll get my coat

Das reboot: That's the only thing to do when the screenshot, er, freezes


Re: Funny that

Even better, change the keyboard layout to Azerbaijan, and watch them lock themselves out of their account. Good for people who lock multi user machines so no-one else can use them.

Serial killer spotted on the night train from Newcastle


Re: Thats just Twerk

He has a wife you know . . . .

UK COVID-19 contact-tracing app data may be kept for 'research' after crisis ends, MPs told


Re: Anyone want to buy a Windows phone?

So glad I have a Windows phone, as you say I very much doubt there will be a version of this spyware for it.

As Brit cyber-spies drop 'whitelist' and 'blacklist', tech boss says: If you’re thinking about getting in touch saying this is political correctness gone mad, don’t bother


This . . .

Two young persons of opposite genders, proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologic protuberance. The purpose of their expedition was to procure a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was omniously omitted from the record. As the male person precipitously descended, he consequently sustained severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomy. A similar fate befell the female, who immediately after the male person, performed a self-rotational translation oriented in the same direction having been traversed by the young man.

Forget tabs – the new war is commas versus spaces: Web heads urged by browser devs to embrace modern CSS


Re: Stupid millennials

It remind sme of this joke:

he European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

'Non-commercial use only'? Oopsie. You can't get much more commercial than a huge digital billboard over Piccadilly


Re: Can I just take a moment to say F*CK TeamViewer

The same thing happened to me, now i just use AnyDesk.

Getting a pizza the action, AS/400 style


Re: Pineapple good. Pepperoni bad.

Once, In North Shields I had a donner kebab topped pizza, It was . . . interesting,

Watch out, everyone, here come the Coronavirus Cops, enjoying their little slice of power way too much


I usually do my shopping twice a month, but because of lemming panic buyers causing rationing of items to 3 I now have to do my shopping 3 times per week in order to get the things I usually bulk buy (to last me 2 weeks plus a couple extra in case I just need a snack rather than a full meal. I have COPD so this has greatly increased the risk to me.

Astroboffin gets magnets stuck up his schnozz trying and failing to invent anti-face-touching coronavirus gizmo


Re: Hand Soap with Capsacin Oil

Been there, Done that, Never Ever again . . . .

That awful moment when what you thought was a number 1 turned out to be a number 2


Re: 125 million Indians speak English

Don`t forget "My postillion has been struck by lightning" . . .

Sure, check through my background records… but why are you looking at my record collection?


Even better:- Disco Duck . . . . . .

OK. We're off. Water ice found just below the surface of Mars. Good enough for us. Let's go. Impulse power, Mr Sulu


Re: Another study, another watery flip-flop

Well there must be water as it has been known for long time that there are canals on Mars as they were first described by the Italian astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli during the opposition of 1877 . . . . . . . . .

Controversies aren't Boeing away for aircraft maker amid claims of faulty oxygen systems and wobbling wings



It saddens me that a once great company that made some truly iconic aircraft (think 707 and 747) has come tho this state of affairs :/

I cannae do it, captain, I'm giving it all she's got, but she just cannae take another dose of bullsh!t


Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies lie a banana . . .

Hey, it's Google's birthday! Remember when they were the good guys?



Many years ago I used to use Copernic Desktop Search which searched all of the then search engines, Yahoo!, Lycos, Hotbot etc.

It worked well although you did get a lot of duplicated results.

It seems to have disappeared now (well it used to be free now a paid for product and only seems to search locally (ie company network rather than WWW)

Eight-hour comms lags and shock discoveries: 30 years after Voyager 2 visited gas giant Neptune



V`Ger will return in the 2270s

Has NASA's Mars Insight lander hit rock bottom? Heat probe struggles to penetrate Red Planet


Hole in the ground


What would Jesus tweet? Church of England hands down commandments for Anglicans on social media


That would be an ecumenical matter , , , ,

Honey, hive had it with this drone: Couple lived for years with thousands of bees in bedroom wall


AGhhh the puns, the puns, Just Beehive all of you!

Freed whistleblower Chelsea Manning back in jail for refusing to testify before secret grand jury


The Rockford files, season 3, Episode 7 - So Help Me God went into some length about the injustice of the Grand Jury system, It`s gives an interesting insight to the Chelsea Manning case,

Gartner squints into its crystal ball: A pholdable phuture is very far away


I thought Apple made foldable phones already? *Coughs and backs out*

Qualcomm wins Apple patent case, loses Apple patent case, wins Apple patent case, loses Apple patent case...


The solution is simple, If they cannot agree then send them to Judge Judy!

WeWork restructuring bites El Reg hacks where it hurts as afternoon brew delayed


Re: Bloody Vegans

Q: How do you know if somene is a Vegan?

A: They tell you!

Q: Why did the Vegan cross the road?

A: To tell them they are a Vegan!

Yay, we got a B for maths. Literally, a bee: Little nosy nectar nerds smart enough to add, abstract numbers


Blackadder: Right Baldrick, let's try again, shall we? This is called adding. [gestures to the beans on the table] If I have two beans, and then I add two more, what do I have?

Baldrick: Some beans.

Blackadder: [smiles, impatiently] Yesss... and no. Let's try again, shall we? I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make?

Baldrick: A very small casserole.

Blackadder: Baldrick. The ape-creatures of the Indus have mastered this. Now try again. [helps him count] One, two, three... four. So, how many are there?

Baldrick: Three.

Blackadder: What?

Baldrick: And that one.

Blackadder: Three... and that one. [waves the fourth bean in front of Baldrick's face] So if I add the three to that one, what will I have?!

Baldrick: Oh! Some beans.

Blackadder: [pause] Yes. To you, Baldrick, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?

Canadians moot methods to embiggen moose monument and make Mac great again


I think I will post anonymoosely . . . .

50 years ago: NASA blasts off the first humans to experience a lunar close encounter


Those men had BALLS of STEEL'

I Was living in The Bahamas at the time of some of the launches and could see the glow in the sky from the engines.

Just awe inspiring.

Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier


Bobby Vee: -

Baby Bel, I come bouncin' back to you

Baby Bel, I come bouncin' back to you

I'm like a Baby Bel

Baby that's all that I am to you (bouncy, bouncy) (bouncy, bouncy)

Just a Baby Bel

'Cause you think you can be true to two (bouncy, bouncy) (bouncy, bouncy)

You bounce my heart around (you don't even put her down)

And like a Baby Bel, I come bouncin' back to you

Baby Bel, I come bouncin' back to you

If you stretch my love till it's thin enough to tear

I'll just stretch my arms to reach you anywhere

And like a Baby Bel, I'll come bouncin' back to you

Baby Bel, I'll come bouncin' back to you


Queen - I want to eat Brie!

Microsoft Windows 10 October update giving HP users BSOD


I wish I could upvote this a million more times, It`s exactly what I have been saying since day one, As for the new features, why not let US decide what ones we want to download and install?

Attempt to clean up tech area has shocking effect on kit


Re: the Disturbed cover of the song is absolutely worth checking out

Also: Metalium - Smoke on the Water and Turmion Katilot - Stormbringer are great covers.