* Posts by Anonymous (Noel) Coward

28 posts • joined 27 Mar 2013

Huge embarrassment over fisting site data breach

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Paris Hilton

analists one and all

Australia's broadband policy is a flimsy, cynical House of Cards

Anonymous (Noel) Coward

Re: Sold down the drain

The Prime Minister's ego-tripping political gameplaying over the NBN isn't our only problem. We're stuffed in multiple directions.

To plagiarize Paul Keating, Turnbull is a peanut sitting on top of a dung heap. Our whole "government" is a Judas Goat leading Australia to the slaughterhouse.

Robots. Machine learnin', 3D-printin' AI robots: They'll take our jobs – Davos

Anonymous (Noel) Coward

Fight back!

Buy a 3D printer, use it to create a clone of itself, then send the first one back for a refund.

We suck? No, James Dyson. It is you who suck – Bosch and Siemens

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Happy

Bumper sticker: "Lewinsky sucks better than Dyson!"

US Treasury: How did ISIS get your trucks? Toyota: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Boffin

The obvious explanation ..........

The sudden increase in the number of new Toyotas is down to ISIL canceling their orders with Volkswagen ..... they don't want to be seen as supporting cheating and dishonesty.

BEELION-DOLLAR Japanese satellite gives BOM a data nerdgasm

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
WTF?

BEELION ???

Oh, FFS!

A small consolation - at least it wasn't your usual BEEELION!

SHEEEETHEADS!

Megaupload extradition: Rotund web baron Kim Dotcom appears in court

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Devil

Mr Dotcom's lawyers really have no idea how to generate massive worldwide sympathy from the bleeding heart liberals who jump on every bandwagon.

They need to get him to "invent" a digital clock, then have the media primed and waiting when he takes it into court to show the judge.

Visitors no longer welcomed to Scotland's 'Penis Island'

Anonymous (Noel) Coward

The Bhoid mightier than the sword!

US military says it will discipline Ashley Madison users

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Paris Hilton

Military Discipline!

Mr Carter told reporters this afternoon that he was willing to personally discipline nubile young female military personnel by reddening their firm bare arsecheeks with a sound spanking over his knee.

Kaspersky: Freemasons coded fake malware in the Bermuda Triangle

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Alien

Re: Calling Nick Redfern!

Xenu is watching you and he has your metadata!

UFOs in the '50s skies? CIA admits: 'IT WAS US'

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Alien

Re: I am outraged by you all

Silly bugger! L.Ron Hubbard KNOWS who it was!

Cops think Mt Gox meltdown was an 'INSIDE JOB' – report

Anonymous (Noel) Coward

Re: Imaginary currency goes "poop"

Shitcoins ???

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Holmes

Re: Reaaaalllyy??

"No shitcoins, Sherlock" ???

iMessage SPAM floods US mobile networks

Anonymous (Noel) Coward

Re: Doesn't seem to be a scam then...

I bought a fake Rolex from China last week and it's a perfect copy - 100% indistinguishable from a genuine fake Rolex.

Opposition: we passed Australia's 'spook's charter' on PURPOSE

Anonymous (Noel) Coward

Re: Ha!

> Truth is, they care naught for freedom or the individual, and would quite happily do exactly the same. Or worse.

Historically, when it comes to abrogation of individual rights and freedoms, the next government has always been a bigger pain in the arse than its predecessor.

Bank IT bod accused of stealing $40 MEEELLION from employer

Anonymous (Noel) Coward

Re: Well, nothing they can do about it, because...

"God-swill" = "swigging holy water" --- a famous Nigerian energy drink made from frog wee-wee.

Rejected researcher builds Facebook friends harvester

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Devil

Pleased to meet you - I hope you know my name .........

"They trust me. Dumb fucks."

"Sooner or later Facebook will fuck everyone in the world."

PC-infecting chat demon quotes THE BIBLE to summon malware plague

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Headmaster

Use of biblical versus is malware ....

..... is a new one for El Reg security desk and we're not sure what it means,

.

What it means is that your speech-to-text program needs work.

Can you trust 'NSA-proof' TrueCrypt? Cough up some dough and find out

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Big Brother

Re: Honey Pot

Chris G opined: "the thought that something like Truecrypt could have originated from one or other of the world's security agencies seems quite valid."

Indeed! What better way to spy on the world than to offer it free "open source" encryption which (a) cannot be compiled from its open source and (b) contains unexplained encrypted code in its downloadable binary but is nonetheless "guaranteed" to have no back doors ?

"Shake for me girl! I wanna be your backdoor man!"

Laptops Snowden took to Hong Kong and Russia 'just a decoy'

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Alien

Re: SHITE

@xyz: "...as his behaviour was noticed 4 years ago..."

In next week's episode we'll read that Snowden was actually flagged as a potential whistleblower when a thumbdrive was found hidden up his arse a few minutes after he was born.

Facebook RIPS away your veil of privacy, declares NO MORE HIDING

Anonymous (Noel) Coward

Re: And so it begins

.

"People just submitted it. I don't know why. They 'trust me.' Dumb fucks."

.

MI5 boss: Snowden leaks of GCHQ methods HELPED TERRORISTS

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Holmes

Re: The problem is

Oh NomNumNom, yo' is mah HEEE-RO!

Report: Secret British spy base in Middle East taps region's internet

Anonymous (Noel) Coward

Re: Sod this...

> " I don't have anything to hide from any Government..... "

Spook SOP is " If you breathe, you're guilty! "

There are no innocents!

Merde! Dummkopf! Google Translate used as spam cloak

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Headmaster

Re: " because it may easily be used to lute users into visiting malware-tainted websites."

All you guys should be band.

Egyptian navy captures divers trying to cut undersea internet cables

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Boffin

Re: The mystery of the mysterious operatives

> But just for the sake of amusement, why not give us your delusional reasoning as to why the US would want Egypt's internet cable cut.

Think "Google".

MI5 undercover spies: People are falsely claiming to be us

Anonymous (Noel) Coward

MI5 is outsourcing ?

I might have fallen for the scam and sent the buggers $15,000 if "Sir Jonathan" had not had a heavy "Oh my very goodness gracious, there is an elephant in my vindaloo!" accent.

Mobile location data identifies individuals

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Big Brother

Google is watching you!

"Wherever you go, there you are!" ......... and we know it.

Experts doubt Anonymous Mossad spy outing claims are kosher

Anonymous (Noel) Coward
Devil

Re: Bias?

Yep, 30,000 is a definitely bit suss.

They should have said "Six Million".

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