Posts by returnmyjedi

Cave scrawls prove Neanderthals were AT LEAST as talented as modern artists

Re: Naughts and crosses

They gave up and played a nice game of Global Thermonuclear War instead. Only with pointed sticks.

Twitter: La la la, we haven't heard of NUDE JLaw, Upton SELFIES

My work pc is called "Gruntilda" (after the baddie in the Banjo Kazooie games) so I'm not convinced every Tristan should be hunted down.

Alienware injects EVEN MORE ALIEN into redesigned Area-51 gaming PC

Re: I think I can hear the death knell

Failbox One! Ha ha ha! That is GENIUS!!!***????ROFLOLOLOL&#%*)%£

Nokia: Read these Maps, Samsung – we're HERE for the Gear

Re: You can take the Nokia out of Finland

You mean the Jolla mobile phone that runs Sailfish, developed by Jolla also? The Jolla that's manufactured by Jolla, not Nokia?

Tim Cook in Applerexia fears: New MacBook THINNER THAN EVER

Thinness is good news for hour suppliers, bad news for repairability and horses.

One step closer to robot butlers: Dyson flashes vid of vacuum sucker bot

I think a robot hoover is extremely unlikely. I'll wager it's an updated Omnibot 2000, to bring me tea and Swiss roll on baked beans.

Reg man looks through a Glass, darkly: Google's toy ploy or killer tech specs?

I never much cared for Shadow on the Wall or much of Oldfield's Crises era output. Give me Ommadawn or Platinum any day.

Microsoft boots 1,500 dodgy apps from the Windows Store

"Punters who bought them mistakenly can eveg score a refund"

Can do what now?

EE accused of silencing customer gripes on social media pages

I rather like O2's approach to social media. On their Twitter account if a twittering twat says "i hatez u o2 c**t" or suchlike, their usual response is "we're crying, sad face". Granted, not particularly helpful, but an appropriate response.

On the subject of EE, whilst deleting posts is unforgivable wanting customers to private message them with personal details and mobile number seems quite sensible rather than plastering them on a public forum.

Google hops into bed with Brit red-top: Cooks up 'draw an app' coding compo for kids

Re: I'm just amazed...

Didn't they have a countdown a few years ago, ticking off the days until some 15 year old was old enough to adorn their pages topless?

Stay classy.

FEAST YOUR EYES: Samsung's Galaxy Alpha has an 'entirely new appearance'

Re: They all look alike

Agreed, with the exception of Apple's iPhone 5C whose bright colours and plastic casing is utterly original and not seen on any other phone, especially ones from Finland which start with an 'L'.

Tim Cook on pale, male Apple: 'As CEO, I'm NOT satisfied'

So Apple need to sack a few white people from their upper echelons, and slash their Asian workforce by 43% then, hire the remainder as women in the percentages given in the top chart and all will be right in the world?

XBOX One will learn to play media from USB and DLNA sources

Re: So they are

It's getting MKV support with the update mentioned in the article.

Farmville maker Zynga delays new games after losing 57 million users

CEO Don Mattrick...

...he who made such enlightened and wise choices during his tenure as Xbox boss (XBoss?) that the console is lagging in sales behind the ps4 by a margin of 3:1? No wonder things look so bright for Zynga.

Digital dongle transforms European XBOXen into tellies

That functionality had been available for a couple of months now. This is just a DVB-T2 tuner for those who don't have a Freeview box or such to plug into their Xbox.

Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay

Crumbs. It's up to US$80,000 (at time of typing). That would cover the bar bill for Apple and Samsung's patent lawyers for at least one night.

Joking aside, great that it's going to charity and hole it makes much more. Might change my name to Power Mac g4 Cube and apply for a job at Samsung.

Samsung sticks with child labour shame fab: Zero-tolerance means 30% less trade

Regardless of who wins in the exploitation stakes, the likely reason for the focus upon Apple is both the company's and its devoted acolytes' holier than thou attitude that they excrete. Apple made a big song and dance shout their membership of FairLabor but almost immediately afterwards stories emerged about child labour and draconian rules at the plants making the 5C.

Fiat Panda Cross: 'Interesting-looking' Multipla spawn hits UK

Re: Had a Fiat once ...

I've had a combination of Italian and German cars over the years. To date only one of the Italians (an at the time ten year old punto) needed a new ignition coil and my current car (an Alfa company car) has only had a slightly over flappy sun visor as a black mark.

Of the German cars (all company cars) all have developed faults, with two VWs requiring new engines and clutches.

The good thing about Italian cars is that you expect them to break down so when they don't its a nice treat, whereas the overhyped reputation of German vehicles disappoint with their fallibility.

Has Europe cut the UK adrift on data protection?

Re: Democracy

We haven't actually left the EU yet and there is no mandate or legislation for us to do so. Who's to say we won't be in the EU in ten, twenty maybe one hundred years time? To preclude the UK from policy is undemocratic regardless on our stance on data protection etc.

Microsoft's Brit kid Cortana lands on UK WinPhone 8.1, but China's is the real cutie

Cortana is twice as good as both Google Now and Siri, based upon the reasoning that I used the fruity and chocolatey voice assistants for a day before ignoring them, whereas with the Master Chief's beau she lasted 48 hours. Scientific reasoning at its finest.

China in MONOPOLY PROBE into Microsoft: Do not pass GO, do not collect 200 yuan

MS should counter sue the Chinese government for not allowing any other political parties to stands against them.

Scotland's BIG question: Will independence cost me my broadband?

Re: You must be joking

If you're going to buy an army I'd go with the Second Sons over the more flashy Golden Company. Save you a few bob to boot.

Microsoft bakes a bigger Pi to cook Windows slabs

Re: No Apostraphe

There's a Sharks Cove in Hawaii that is devoid of punctuation, so maybe it's the Hawaiians' fault rather than Nadella et al.

Bose says today is F*** With Dre Day: Beats sued in patent battle

Isn't the timing down to Dre et al moving away from Monster making Beats branded overpriced cans to manufacturing their own? Perhaps Monster's noise cancelling tech is either licensed or sufficiently different to deserve a sueball being lobbed their way.

Indie ISP to Netflix: Give it a rest about 'net neutrality' – and get your checkbook out

Crymeariver?

Students hack Tesla Model S, make all its doors pop open IN MOTION

My old man used to have a Rover which had electric windows that would unexpectedly open and close for no apparent reason. I can only assume it was also down to some clever clog students such as in this case.

Why has sexy Apple gone to bed with big boring IBM?

Re: My God, they're full of stars...

Or perhaps Zookd. I really didn't think this through.

My God, they're full of stars...

Hence forth I shall refer to Apple as Bqqmf. Cookie, Cookie, give me your enterprise share do...

BMW i8 plug-in hybrid: It's a supercar, Jim, but not as we know it

Pushing close to £100k is a lot of notes to be treated like a leper at every junction, albeit in a motor with (arguably shaky) green credentials.

Barclays Bank counter staff to become iPad-toting 'community bankers'

Re: And How do I ...

My local Natwest has one of those machines like in supermarkets where you can lob your coinage into it and it's paid straight into your account. There's usually a queue of drunken vagrants waiting to use it, and it steadfastly refuses to acknowledge that Euro 96 commemorative coins are legal tender but other than that it works rather well. I left HSBC as my branch barred access to its counter staff besides its Premier and business customers, messing us mere mortals had to use ageing Fujitsu Siemens PCs to do our banking, through the same internet portal available anywhere else.

'Green' Apple: We've smudged a bit off our carbon footprint

I wonder if the carbon savings afforded by their new Fruity Loop HQ over its lifetime will ever offset the amount of carbon and such released in its construction? My prediction? Non.

Apple OS X Yosemite 4 TIMES more popular than Mavericks

Yosurmite Sarm

Whenever I read Yosemite my brain processes the word as "Yo-sur-mite", despite years of therapy. Thought you'd all like to know.

WinPhone iView app flap: Microsoft to pull 'unauthorised' app... coded by STAFFER

Re: iView FTW!

Meh, Ben and Holly is much better anyways.

Tom Hollander?

Nice to see his branching out now that Rev. has come to a close.

Boeing to start work on most powerful rocket ... EVER!

Re: Sweepstake

Pencil me in for thirty doubloons that the European Space Agency make it to Jupiter and its moons first. But not Europa, natch (stay off their land!)

Unless I've just woken from a ten year coma (again), 1961 wasn't 63 years ago.

UK mobile sales in the toilet: Down by FIVE MILLION this year

Re: My Nokia 3210 works fine

My Nokia 3330 (a 3310 but with luxurious WAP) gets awoken from cryo sleep every year when my family head down to the Somerset levels to live in squalor for a week. Even after 13 odd years the battery still holds throughout the 5 days, and has found itself swimming in mud on more than once occasion but still clings onto life.

Not the best comparison due to all the extra things it does, but the wife's year old iPhone 5 barely lasted a day and the only use it saw was a dozen photos or so. Furthermore she was forever without a signal whereas the ageing Finn had full bars throughout (both on O2 so the only explanation is that she's holding it wrong).

Microsoft hopes for FONDLESLAB FRENZY as Surface Pro 3 debuts

We've got a handful of Surface Pro 2s in the field and the sales guys love them. They whinged when they had their iPads taken off them but seem to like the screen quality and the kick stand and type covers of Microsoft's device. They seen pretty reliable as well, as we're yet to have any back in the office, unlike the iPads which had a bundle of issues with WiFi connectivity.

Not that I expect version 3 to set sales records, they're still pretty niche.

Apple SOLDERS memory into new 'budget' iMac

Mean old Apple. An entire generation of fanbois won't experience the think of a RAM upgrade. For the record my first experience of this was slotting a PCI sized cats with 512mb of RAM into the bottom of an Amiga 500, a bit like the docking bay of a Star Destroyer.

Virgin Media boss AND ex-Murdoch man: BSkyB broadband is 'lousy'

Re: Sieze the opportunity

I'm with you. Was an NTL customer for years, then VM before turncoating my way over to Uncle Rupe's BskyB. For the two years I was with them the supposed 8meg BB rarely reached a meg, I went through two sky plus boxes and for five months was being billed for a neighbour as well. The only thing that worked was the phone.

Been back with Mr Bolt's company since last August and haven't had an issue (aside from having to pay for a Now TV sub to get my fix of nudey bumps and drained on sky Atlantic). Still works out cheaper than Sky's similar package, plus I've got 152 meg bb, of which I have no need whatsoever but was the same price as 60 so seemed silly not to.

YouView loses YourView trademark fight, may have to pick new name

Completely different services that no-one who could read would confuse, similar to the nonsensical decision against SkyDrive. Maybe people are thick enough to mix them up, and maybe golf courses across the world are infested with golfists wearing pipes of Pringles rather than diabolical jumpers.

Queen's Speech: Computer Misuse Act to be amended, tougher sentences planned

Paedophile Manuel?

Yet another 70s icon's shame revealed, made the worse after all that phew Rory when those bell ends phoned his granddaughter.

The enemy of my enemy is my, well, temporary ally: Apple and Microsoft in pact against Google

Use Bing quite a lot due to work Lumia and it works very well for local searches (integration with Nokia drive is loved by the guys in the field). I still use Google for most other searches though as it seems to order the results in a more sensible way.

100% driverless Wonka-wagon toy cars? Oh Google, you're having a laugh

It's only £50? Bargain!

http://www.littletikes.co.uk/cozy-coupes/cozy-coupe-reg-princess-30th-anniversary.html

Microsoft to release epic Xbox One update in June

Re: I have been a fan of the Xbox360 for years...

This supposed "next gen" crop of consoles is rather laughable. Aside from a bit of extra gloss, neither the Xbox One nor the PS4 do half of the things that their predecessors do. 3D Blu Ray like on your PS3? Nope. Custom soundtracks like on your circa 2005 360? Dream on. Play your games from the last gen? Don't be silly!

Apple vows to squash iMessage SMS-KILLER

Quick! Someone sue them for all the WiFi and freezing phone issues that gave dogged every iteration since the iPhone 3GS.

Motorola Moto E: Brill budget blower with one bothersome blunder

I used the front facing camera on my phone for the first time the other day and it was extremely useful in locating the bit of spinach that had lodged itself in my upper incisors.

So if you like food that is fond of getting stuck in your teeth, pay the extra few coin and get the G.

True optical zoom coming to HTC smartphone cameras

Re: raw

The Lumia 1020 and 1520 both support the RAW format, y'know.