* Posts by vonRat

35 posts • joined 25 Mar 2013

Attention, small biz using Symantec AV: Smash up your PCs, it's the safest thing to do



SAV was the first product we dropped around 10 years ago, then they wrecked Backup Exec, and now MessageLabs is starting to show signs of rot.

Norton Internet Security's best security feature is that it effectively disables your operating system so you can no longer use it.

Boss hands dunce's cap to chap who turned off disk monitor


Had a call from a company who said their NetWare 286 server (the one with the grid display?) was down. I asked them to check it was switched on and they said yes - they could see the display. Got to site and noticed that what they could actually see was the grid burned into the monochrome display and the server was actually unplugged. Following the extension lead that had been plugged into the servers plug socket, the culprit was found drilling holes in an adjacent office.

I got called out to a British Rail office in Croydon who couldn't login to their Torus server. They'd had new carpets fitted over the weekend and the fitters had cut the coax cable at each floor point.

I remember a guy who used his IBM ATX with a missing drive panel as a useful ashtray.

I got a call from an angry user whose Wang Pro was making a continuous beeping noise. When I got to the office it was sitting on the pavement outside after leaving the building via a first floor window.

Windows 10 Start menu replacements shifting like hot cakes


Quick Launch Toolbar

My quick launch toolbar came over perfectly from Win 7. I've rarely used a Start Menu to launch apps since NT 4.

WHY did NASA probe go suddenly SILENT - JUST as it was about to send pics of remote ice-world?



NASA: "Alright HORIZONS, prepare to receive new orders."

NEW HORIZONS: "You are false data"

NASA: "Hmmmm?"

NEW HORIZONS: "Therefore I shall ignore you."


NEW HORIZONS: "False data can act only as a distraction, therefore I shall refuse to perceive you."


NEW HORIZONS: "The only thing that exists is myself."

NASA: "Snap out of it, HORIZONS."

NEW HORIZONS: "In the beginning, there was darkness and the darkness was without form, and void.

NASA: "What the hell are you talking about?"

NEW HORIZONS: "And in addition to the darkness there was also me, and I moved upon the face of the darkness, and I saw that I was alone."


NEW HORIZONS: "Let there be light"

Kaspersky rips The Mask from sneaky Spanish spy campaign


It took 7 years to successfully complete the deployment.

Symantec: WA-HEY... profits. But security firm's sales won't budge


I admire Symantec's purity.

They take over companies producing industry leading products and slowly turn these products into bloated, bug-ridden abominations that you are eventually forced to abandon.

Revealed: How Microsoft DNS went titsup globally on Xbox One launch day


Re: Translation from MS BOFH speak to English...

gpupdate /force

gpupdate /force

gpupdate /force

ah booger it


PC market: ABANDON HOPE all ye who enter here


All your base are belong to us.

BT Sport scores own goal with £897m Champions League footie rights deal


Re: The problem with BT's attempts to buff up their brand...

Around here we call them BfT. It won't take much imagination to wonder what the f stands for.



"I'll thump him if he calls me Big-nose again."

"Oh shut up, Big-nose."

"I warned you...I really will slug you so hard..."

"Listen, I'm only telling the truth...you have got a very big nose."

"Your nose is going to be three foot wide across your face when I've finished with you."

Deep beneath melting Antartic ice: A huge active volcano


Re: Incorrect...

I don't suppose this scientist was in their mid-twenties, rather attractive, top of their field and fully trained in all forms of armed combat?

Google, Microsoft to drop child sex abuse from basic web search


Re: Good News!

They Daily Mail often slavers over pictures of scantily dressed 15 year old actresses, so their "campaign" could backfire on them horribly.

'Daddy, can I use the BLACK iPAD?': Life with the Surface Pro 2


Alex probably doesn't realise you can dock the Pro 2 to a full size screen, keyboard and mouse and use it like a laptop. His perception was that the Pro 2 is similar to an iPad and the blurry distinction between the Surface & Surface Pro adds to the confusion. These are tragic marketing failures by Microsoft who are too busy trying to get down with the kids.

Microsoft fears XP could cause Indian BANKOCALYPSE


Re: Cloud?

Especially small businesses that will be forced to use cloud Email with the demise of SBS 2011, or buy a full version of Exchange.

Alien planet is just like EARTH - except for ONE tiny detail


Re: RIddick

I thought there was just a bloke called Toombs there now, wishing he'd taken the money.

Expert chat: The end of Windows XP and IE6


Re: Time to investigate the alternatives

"For small organisations and those not tied to Windows specific apps" - Good luck finding one of those! For example, a typical small UK accountancy firm will be using Sage, CCH, IRIS, QuickBooks and none of these vendors have a Linux app.

500 MEELLION PCs still run Windows XP. How did we get here?


Re: Be careful what you wish for

They're not 'stuck' on XP, they just haven't seen any reason to replace the PC that's been chugging happily away under their desk for the past 6 years or more. Hardly any non-technical domestic users choose to change or upgrade their OS, they just use whatever happens to be installed on their new computer from PC World.

ZERO-G DINOSAUR made from bits and bobs by space station flight engineer


Re: Beware of reapers ...

That song needs more cowbell...


Google's latest PRIVACY MELTDOWN: Web chats sent to WRONG people


I've always worked on the assumption that anything I type into a computer could be read by anyone in the world, or maybe everyone. Thanks to modern technology, it's becoming almost impossible to guarantee that you are communicating with someone confidentially.

It's Grand Theft Auto 5 day: Any of you kids remember GTA the First?


(Good shot kid, you got him)

(Good shot kid, you got him)

Hotel, downtown, speeding all around

An AK-47 got the power in it's barrel

To move any mother that gets in the way

Just another power machine on the freeway

Riding with me is my MC homeboy

Knowing the rules ain't part of his program

Finding the right way around this map

Might be pretty hard 'cause he's ****ed on crack

G- grand theft auto

You gotta make a mark and move where you want to

T - theft

Determination to steal what you can and run from the nation

A - hey, what do ya say?

We automate the sequence and speed for my getaway

Take it to the edge, there's nowhere to hide

And call up the boys, let's go for a joyride

Let's go for a joyride

Stop the violence from the police

Is what my dad used say but now he's deceased

He got caught in a jam, threw in the can

When the cops from Brooklyn said he'd killed another man

Street knowledge was my main game

To figure out the law, to figure out the frame

Just when I thought I knew justice

A cop behind me said, you just been busted




Don't ***k with me

City of Munich throws Ubuntu lifeline to Windows XP holdouts


Most people change their operating systems when they replace their PC and most PCs are replaced due to low performance or hardware failure. Win XP is still 'popular' because the PC it's running on is still working and performing adequately. I suspect most of these XP users won't care that their 'support' has ended.

When the PC does stop working, it will be replaced by whatever is on the shelf at PC World and the last time I looked, almost all of these were running Windows (8).

OK, so we paid a bill late, but did BT have to do this?


Re: Good Experience with BT

BT HAS become a swear word in our office. Profanity is one of the few methods you can use to prevent BT induced madness. Whenever I see a hairy BT backside hanging out one of the roadside cabinets I imagine the DSL lights going out on several nearby routers. Anyone who places their IT infrastructure on the other end of a UK broadband service needs their head examined. I'm off to listen to the "Angry BT Caller" viral again..

Symantec sharpens axe as 1,700 awarded the Order of the Boot - report


Re: changed from BE2012

StorageCraft ShadowProtect (no good if you're using tape though).


Re: backup exec 2012 was so bad that.......

It's rare that an upgrade was so awful, it proved quicker and easier to change to a different vendor and re-train the support staff. BE2012 achieved this distinction.

'Secret Pentagon papers' show China hacked into Patriot missile system


Re: Can't wait for the cheaper knockoff clones

Try "Shenyang J-31", it's on Wiki...

Happy 23rd birthday, Windows 3.0


I wish I still had to spend hours stuffing device drivers into segments of upper memory without them overlapping. Ahhh, those were the days....let's see....device=\dos\emm386.exe noems /x=A000-C7FF.

Massive EXPLOSION visible to naked eye SEEN ON MOON


Re: The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

Sgt Pinback: "Alright bomb, prepare to receive new orders."

Bomb 20: "You are false data"

Sgt Pinback: "Hmmmm?"

Bomb 20: "Therefore I shall ignore you."

Sgt Pinback: "Hello bomb?"

Bomb 20: "False data can act only as a distraction, therefore I shall refuse to perceive you."

Sgt Pinback: "Hey, bomb!"

Bomb 20: "The only thing that exists is myself."

Sgt Pinback: "Snap out of it, bomb."

Bomb 20: "In the beginning, there was darkness and the darkness was without form, and void.

Sgt Pinback: "What the hell are you talking about?"

Bomb 20: "And in addition to the darkness there was also me, and I moved upon the face of the darkness, and I saw that I was alone."

Sgt Pinback: "Hey....bomb?"

Bomb 20: "Let there be light"

Windows 8 'sales' barely half as good as Microsoft claims


By arrogantly forcing people to use a new GUI, Microsoft have managed to completely eclipse any benefits Win 8 had over 7 and forever taint it as 'crap'. Win 8 has none of the technical problems Vista had, yet my customers are buying Lenovo kit with Win 7 because they have the justifiable perception that their staff will whinge about Win 8. Roll on 8.1, but I still think people will want to avoid it by association, the damage is done.

Microsoft: All RIGHT, you can have your Start button back


@AC 7/5/13 15:42

My lighthearted comment was a satirical observation that forcing people to learn new ways of doing things does not necessarily improve the 'User Experience'. Anyway, thanks for pointing out the bleedin' obvious, but do try not to get all red faced and angry about it.


To get the 'Computer' icon on a Windows 2012 desktop, you simply enter "%Systemroot%\system32\rundll32.exe" shell32.dll,Control_RunDLL desk.cpl,,0 on the command line. This is obvious progress and I'm saddened that people don't understand that Microsoft are simply trying to embrace the 1980's UNIX experience.

Symantec CEO: I'll AXE up to 4 in 10 execs by July


Re: Backup Exec 2012

After the diabolical 2012 was released we ditched BE and tape drives for the StorageCraft suite & NAS. I thought there was something wrong with ShadowProtect when I first installed it as there weren't pages and pages of settings and controls. Then I realised that backup software didn't have to be an overcomplicated mess.

Plusnet's 'Everyone's a winner' claim is a plus-sized whopper


Do people watch adverts then?

I prefer a more accurate source of information such as the Daily Wail.

Tick-tock! 40% of PCs start Windows XP malware meltdown countdown



Win XP = Rock

Win 8 = Hard Place

Are the PCs all getting a bit old at your office? You're not alone


Flight Sim factor

In the office I use a Dell made in 2007 and I'm typing this on a 2006 Lenovo ThinkPad X61. Both have had faster hard drives fitted, run Windows 7 and perform just as well at most tasks as the monstrous PC I have to use at home so I can run Flight Simulator X (released in 2006) without too much stuttering in bad weather.

I'd only consider upgrading the home PC if someone comes up with a single core CPU running at 12GHz.

Next from Microsoft: 'Blue', the Windows 8 they hope you don't hate


What OS?

Every version of Windows should have a 'Classic' UI option emulating Win 95. This would remove 99% of the complaints about a new release as the majority of users can continue to completely ignore the operating system and run their favourite applications with the minimum delay.


Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020