* Posts by SW10

213 posts • joined 20 Mar 2013

Page:

General Motors charges mandatory $1,500 fee for three years of optional car features

SW10
Alert

We know what’s best

non-dealer activations

…instantly voiding your guarantee, your insurance, the resale value of the car

Then followed by the car being instantly immobilised for “safety” reasons, because they’re only concerned for you and your family, obviously

James Webb Space Telescope looks closer to home with Jupiter snaps

SW10
Pirate

We see you

able to track objects that move as fast as … 30 milliarcseconds per second

Is that enough to pick out a light freighter doing the Kessel Run?

Apple's latest security feature could literally save lives

SW10

There’s a $10m bounty…

…and yet a certain subset of commentards will happily believe their half-arsed brain farts will pierce Apple’s Lockdown Mode.

Lockdown Mode being a feature (lest we forget) designed specifically for Apple’s very own operating system; running on, well, what can only be described as proprietary Apple hardware; and rustled up by actual Apple-pays-their-salary engineers

Stroll on

Soviet-era tech could change the geothermal industry

SW10
Stop

Re: How deep?

I know a bit about this stuff - ahem - I pioneered a lot of the data gathering that went on when North Sea wells started going horizontal

The limiting factor here in my view is the weight of the in-hole assembly, and therefore the strength, size, and, um, weight of the pipe (cable in some cases) - to say nothing of the horsepower needed to drag the bloody thing in and out the hole

It’s kinda like the rocket fuel/weight conundrum- without the luxury of jettisoning stages

Bill Gates says NFTs '100% based on greater fool theory' amid crypto cataclysm

SW10
Stop

Re: NFTs have no intrinsic value whatsoever, but have sold for multiple millions.

a digital title detailing ACTUAL ownership of the the ACTUAL Mona Lisa painting, … is massively valuable.

No, it really isn’t.

The painting is valuable, the digital title is little more than a receipt. If the title for the Mona Lisa ever goes missing, that doesn’t mean the Louvre no longer owns the artwork

UK government still trying to get Arm to IPO in London

SW10
Childcatcher

Re: British companies listed on the IS Stock Exchange

Got that wrong, didn’t I?

The US exchange, obviously

SW10
Stop

British companies listed in on the IS Stock Exchange

AMEC Foster Wheeler

AON

Avon Products

AstraZeneca

(I ran out of enthusiasm before getting to ‘B’)

It’s all misplaced pride; once the company is listed the shares can be owned by people from almost 200 countries…

Google engineer suspended for violating confidentiality policies over 'sentient' AI

SW10
WTF?

Mechanical Turk, or just a stream of 1s and 0s?

It looks impressive enough - reading the exchanges I even wondered if Lemoine was being bluffed by a mechanical Turk arrangement.

While I'm sure that isn't the case, and however good the interpretation and subsequent selection of phrases and words might be, it's surprising someone in his job would describe LaMDA as sentient

Engineer sues Amazon for not covering work-from-home internet, electricity bills

SW10
Mushroom

Re: Can of worms

In my country of work, I am covered for having sex with strangers on business trips

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-49662134

A French company has been found liable for the death of an employee who had a cardiac arrest while having sex with a stranger on a business trip.A Paris court ruled that his death was an industrial accident and that the family was entitled to compensation.

IBM's self-sailing Mayflower suffers another fault in Atlantic crossing bid

SW10
Megaphone

Re: Electrical problems

weren't all those problems solved years ago?

Yes. And a major part of the solution consists of people with toolboxes, silicon grease, replacement pins, WD40, rubber sealing, tie-wraps - and a regular walkabout to squint at everything

UK opens up 'high-potential individual route' for tech worker immigration

SW10
FAIL

It's all fizz, pop, and bang

I see no sense in limiting the candidate pool to a few select universities

Because it's all fizz, pop, and bang.

How many people graduating from those Top 50 universities are going to want to enter the UK?

It's like having a door policy that allows trainers - provided you wear Louis Vuitton

Lonestar plans to put datacenters in the Moon's lava tubes

SW10
Trollface

I’ve been expecting you

It’s a Bond script,

SPECTRE (for it is they) pipe all the world’s critical data to the Moon, before Blofeld outlines to 007 his plan for triggering a catastrophic electromagnetic event, followed by a ransomware demand

Seriously, you do not want to make that cable your earth

SW10
WTF?

Re: The illusionist on a train

I once used my Blackberry to take a call on the train and an older guy standing a couple of metres from me practically fell to the ground, groaning and holding his head.

His wife* looked daggers at me, then hissed at me that her husband suffered instand migraines when a mobile phone was active.

The call was over in seconds anyway, and as I slipped the phone back into my pocket, the guy miraculously recovered. As the smug owner of this early "always-connected" device I wanted to call him out, but realised that being the only person who had seen through the illusionist's trick was somehow more satisfying.

* I did feel sorry for her, obviously fiercely loyal and I wondered what other bullshit she had to put up with

Tech pros warn EU 'data adequacy' at risk if Brexit Britain goes its own way

SW10
FAIL

Re: "The way forward"

...create a world-class data rights regime that will allow us to create a new pro-growth and trusted UK data protection framework that reduces burdens on businesses, boosts the economy, helps scientists to innovate and improves the lives of people in the UK...

Let me FTFY:

...create a world-class tail that will allow us to wag the dog, reduce burdens on pigs such that they drift aloft, boost magic bean production, help tailors to innovate the finest silks visible to all but fools, and improve the lives of hedge-fund owning Ministers

BOFH: You'll have to really trust me on this team-building exercise

SW10
Big Brother

Takes me back

It is the early 90s. The scene is a common work space, with the boss esconced in a goldfish bowl office

He seems to spend an inordinate time on the phone and, suspicions aroused, a colleague approaches the door while he is away at lunch.

<Jiggle> in the lock

The door opens. A quick scout around, followed by <jiggle> in the desk lock.

Cutting after cutting after cutting of black-and-white line drawings and photos accompanied by 0898 numbers promising exchanges on almost any subject.

Powder is kept dry until a few months later, when itemised billing by extension number is introduced...

Europe's GDPR coincides with dramatic drop in Android apps

SW10
FAIL

Re: Great news

Whatever the benefits of GDPR’s privacy protection, it appears to have been accompanied by substantial costs to consumers

They've overlooked the fact that it's effectively a zero-sum game - either the consumers pay with their hard-earned cash, or they pay with their hard-to-keep privacy.

Arguably consumers pay more with the "free" model, losing time and mental processing as they steer round the ads

IBM deliberately misclassified mainframe sales to enrich execs, lawsuit claims

SW10
Pirate

Back from the future

Why do investors persist in suing themselves

They're not. Yesterday's investors are suing today's investors - and are unlikely to be the same people.

So rather than routing money from themselves to themselves, they're rather hoping to route money from today's share price to yesterday's share price

Emma Sleep Company admits checkout cyber attack

SW10
Coat

Re: "sophisticated"

Easy for you to suggest they were asleep on the job, but these fixes take time to bed in

HP finance manager went on $5m personal spending spree with company card

SW10

Never embezzle more than your salary

That’s always been my rule

France says Google Analytics breaches GDPR when it sends data to US

SW10

Re: Good.

A contract most certainly does not have to be mutually-negotiated, nor are you entitled to negotiate during, not to renegotiate after.

I’ll confidently bet that you have entered into a number of one sided "take it or leave it" contracts - the “leave it” part is the choice you’re generally granted and perhaps feel peeved about missing in this case

What came first? The chicken, the egg, or the bodge to make everything work?

SW10
Go

Bootstrap

[DTA] [2] [D] [0] [DTA] [ADD] [RUN]

(Bootstrap for a custom Perkin Elmer I used in the late eighties, and which has remained in my wet ROM ever since.)

Computers cost money. We only make them more expensive by trying to manage them ourselves

SW10
Holmes

Re: Free to get locked in?

Even the Zuckerverse has in-house disasters

Then there's BA, NHS (WannaCry), TSB, HSBC...

Your own kit is still subject to software written by other people, chips manufactured by others (Meltdown, Spectre), and your own daft employees who will be writing Who Me? columns 20 years hence...

Think that spreadsheet in your company's accounts dept is old? 70 years ago, LEO ran the first business app

SW10

Re: Can someone explain

Some context, perhaps…

A few years ago I was at a family gathering and got chatting to an old guy and discovered we had both worked in the same building in the City of London.

As he explained his job to me I was aghast to realise that he and perhaps hundreds of colleagues were simply human calculators.

The big shots upstairs would request a calculation, which would then be sent down to be worked on, using what sounded like drafting boards from his description

Apple sues 'amoral 21st century mercenaries' NSO for infecting iPhones with Pegasus spyware

SW10

Re: Seriously?

This isn't victim blaming.

Hello AC,

Your writing style and fondness for commas makes me suspect you wrote the post by MrDamage

Either way, the victim-blaming* point still stands

* Your words

SW10

Re: Seriously?

Apple are the ones who bear responsibility

Seriously?

I understand you just want a pop at Apple, and I really hope that you don’t use the “if you got attacked it’s your fault” argument in other areas of life.

Crypto for cryptographers! Infosec types revolt against use of ancient abbreviation by Bitcoin and NFT devotees

SW10
Boffin

Re: But it is crypto

my answer would be "Yes", but also "No"

Another small-but-significant reveal as we hurtle towards a Unified Theory of Everything: “Crypto” was actually the name of Schrödinger’s cat

Apple's macOS Monterey upgrades some people's laptops to doorstops

SW10
FAIL

Re: Big Sur

all of the comments I view on the Register have about 6" of blank space after the last line

You're holding it wrong

Online harms don’t need dangerous legislation, they need a spot of naval action

SW10

Re: There's still the old problem

what kind of criteria a person must meet to be deemed as "reasonable"

That’s very straightforward, and already known to the legal profession.

The case goes to trial and a judge decides. So a judge is actually the legal definition of a “reasonable person”

NFT or not to NFT: Steve Jobs' first job application auction shows physically unique beats cryptographically unique

SW10
Stop

Re: Someone fundamentally misunderstood profit maximization

Surely to maximise returns for your favourite charity, the trick is to sell the NFT of the incredibly collectible and historic bit of paper first. Then when the hubbub dies down, sell the extraordinarily rare and covetable physical object.

There was a crooked man who bought a crooked M1 iMac, and we presume they lived together in a little crooked house

SW10

Re: Can I get...

You'll have a hard time measuring an 8.04cm gap using a feeler gauge

Blue passports, French service provider: Atos bags £21m UK Passport Office deal

SW10
Happy

Re: So, this contract is for doing what the previous one didn't ?

Crown Commercial Services Technology, which takes a 1 per cent fee on contracts it facilitates.

If I were naïve, I'd say that looks like an incentive to have higher costs. Luckily, I realise that all Crown servants are actually 100% irreproachable.

Boeing fined $17m after fitting uncertified sensors to 737 Max and NG airliners for 4 years

SW10

Instead of referring to the autopilot and using words like “apparently”, “‘suggests”, and “seems”; why don’t you start with pages 8, 9, and 10 of the FAA crash report, and take it from there?

https://www.faa.gov/foia/electronic_reading_room/boeing_reading_room/media/737_RTS_Summary.pdf

MCAS fed by a single-point-of-failure sensor is the issue; moreover it worked behind the pilots’ backs in a manner that wasn’t properly documented in order to falsely convince regulators that a 2020s jet was essentially the same as its 50 year-old grandfather

SW10
Joke

Re: That’s justice!

you would hope that the process was automated

Oh yes, I bet they had an ENORMOUS spreadsheet automating all that

1Password unsheathes Rusty key, hopes to unlock Linux Desktop world

SW10
Stop

Re: Your Password Is Safe In The Cloud ...

Do continue.

Your bank is effectively in the cloud, along with tens of other repositories of sensitive information. Moreover, so is your real Achilles heel; your email account to which all password resets are sent.

You may be some kind of infosec ninja, but my mum isn’t, neither are millions of others who need to move away from Password123, or my initials and birth date

NASA writes software update for Ingenuity helicopter to enable first Mars flight

SW10
Joke

They have new, more colourful icons

Mac OS X at 20: A rocky start, but it got the fundamentals right for a macOS future

SW10
Happy

I did like Aqua

Today I can see that it took up a ridiculous amount of real estate, but it was so different and very pleasing

Russia botches Twitter throttling, cripples anything with t-dot-co in the name – including Reddit, Microsoft

SW10

Let Reg Explain

I make those kind of mistakes. Would this do it?:

[^\w]t\.co$

Italian competition watchdog slaps Apple with €10m fine over allegedly misleading iPhone waterproofing claims

SW10

Re: After a short dive in sea water.

I dropped my new-gen SE into the melting ice caressing a bottle of rosé.

As far as the Apple store were concerned, the tell-tales had changed colour, therefore it was my fault. Logic I still don’t follow.

Here’s a thing though; the symptom was a non-working home button. After getting by with the virtual button for some weeks, I exposed the phone to too much sunshine.

Problem solved

It may date back to 1994 but there's no end in sight for the UK's Chief customs system as Brexit rules beckon

SW10
Mushroom

Re: Who wants a drink?

A large group of people were asked if they wanted a drink.

About half said: "No, you're alright - I've still got mine."

The other half said "Yes, please" - some fondly imagining a pint; others a cocktail; some pictured a glass of wine - and still others wanted a great cup of tea.

Theresa and Boris promised to get them in and now everyone is being forced to drink a cold, manky, flavourless coffee from a dysfunctional vending machine.

Watchdog signals Boeing 737 Max jets can return to US skies following software upgrade, pilot training

SW10
WTF?

Re: The bigger picture..

So how come Southwest can fly the MAX OK, but some South East Asian and African airlines can't?

I will ignore the dogwhistle racism I sense in your post.

However, to extend your logic:

- Lufthansa can't fly 747s

- Air France can't fly Airbus A330s

- British Airways can't fly 737s

- Delta can't fly 727s

- and Southwest Airlines can't fly BA146s, 737s, 727s...

Accidents are caused by pilot error, design faults and maintenance faults. We should strive to eliminate all of these, but design faults are the most egregious as they affect every model of a given plane.

SW10
FAIL

Avoid repeat disaster

Rewriting software to avoid repeat disaster seems like a low threshold: shouldn’t they be asked to rewrite software to avoid disaster, period?

Apple to halve commission for developers turning over up to $1m in sales via App Store

SW10
Holmes

unless Apple employs huge numbers of dedicated App Store-related staff

I’m not a specialist, neither am I going to try to justify the tax take, but presumably verifying all the apps takes more than a couple of PFYs?

My crow soft adds audio transcription to premium Word Online... Only joking. It's pretty good if a bit on the slow side

SW10
WTF?

Not undeleted in unwiped storage that isnt ours

Can anyone help me with the difference between the Micros~1 phrase:

“ are not stored by our service”

...and my preferred phrase:

“are deleted”?

Norfolk's second-greatest cultural export set for return with 3-metre monument in honour of the Turkey Twizzler

SW10
WTF?

On being sold a turkey

Am I right to assume that Nutritionist Dr Sarah Schenker‘s “research” into the Twizzler Goodness Quotient was funded by Bernard Matthews?

Who was behind that stunning Twitter hack? State spies? Probably this Florida kid, say US prosecutors

SW10
Stop

Spoiler

I’ve seen the movie

The kid makes a plea bargain and becomes a renowned security consultant, planting his feet on a succession of boardroom tables around the world. One day he realised he may have met his match as a series of sophisticated attacks overwhelm his clients.

Now desperate, he agrees to meet his new nemesis. Imagine his surprise as he finds himself face to face with (foreign, of course) femme fatale. After a few awkward meetings, they realise that love conquers all and they jointly turn against the evil state sponsoring her attacks

Then they all lived happily ever after

Hundreds of forgotten corners of mega-corp websites fall into the hands of spammers and malware slingers

SW10
Holmes

Just so we’re clear

Are you saying there are sloppy people out there who don’t clear up after themselves?

And that there are enterprises who take a “their-problem-not-mine” kind of attitude?

Hey, Boeing. Don't celebrate your first post-grounding 737 Max test flight too hard. You just lost another big contract

SW10
Stop

All right now

So:

“We made a very complex machine that also had some complex software to make the machine behave like something it wasn’t

We’re sorry about the accidents

We’ve re-written the software (which still makes the machine behave like something it isn’t) and, working with a mate, found a couple of other glitches that shouldn’t have been there [1]

It’s all good to go now, and we’re not quite sure why the world’s regulators don’t just get in line with our pet here...”

[1] From the Air Current blog:

“[Boeing...] was forced to tackle further changes to the software, including adjusting tolerances on sensors that were erroneously activating cockpit indications that the jet’s horizontal stabilizer was not properly configured.“

An unfortunate bit of product placement for Microsoft as Liverpool celebrates winning some silverware

SW10

Re: Clarification

...and the personal pronoun for teams in Brit English is ‘they’, not ‘it.’

Thus:

“win for Liverpool - it won the English Premier League yesterday“

should be:

“win for Liverpool - they won the English Premier League yesterday”

Strange, I know. But there you go

,

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