* Posts by knarf

355 posts • joined 8 Mar 2013

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AR flop Magic Leap's 'pivot' spins CEO right off his throne

knarf

Throw shit, hit in face with said shit keep throwing more hoping it will stick

What madman gave them an extra £350m

Resistance is futile: Some Cisco security appliances are ticking time bombs of fail thanks to faulty resistors

knarf

OMG ... Ohm My God

Watt a bad joke...

Astroboffin gets magnets stuck up his schnozz trying and failing to invent anti-face-touching coronavirus gizmo

knarf

A fool and his magnets are seldom parted

I've some neodymium magnets at home and they are powerful things.

AI startup accuses Facebook of stealing code designed to speed up machine learning models on ordinary CPUs

knarf

Re: "nifty software tricks to achieve similar speeds on CPUs"

Your missing the point, if your a cloud company (or cloud user) with lots of cheap CPUs (spot pricing) then using this is better and more flexible option than having racks of GPUs.

As Australia is gripped by bog roll shortage, tabloid says: Here, fill your dunny with us

knarf

Whole world gone to shit

Can't Oz's just use Sand and pretend their on Dune.

In-depth: Deloitte and accounts expert both cleared what HPE described as 'contrived' Autonomy sales

knarf

Side deals and VARs

VARs are used by HP, Oracle, IBM and loads of others so any VAR deal is a side deal.

You also can't sell into Middle East without a local bri.... VAR merchant and loads of other places make it really hard if you don't have a local agent (bribe agent).

Looking at his particular deal, it looks like the customer wanted it in before they could get the money signed off (via board meeting) so VAR stepped in to take the risk and maybe make sales look at little nice; this is more likely to be hitting bonus targets than actually pumping up the value of the company.

It's Terpin time: Bloke who was SIM jacked twice by Bitcoin thieves gets green light to sue telco for millions

knarf

He'll win or lose then an appeal

He'll be chasing this money for at least 10 years.

Call us immediately if your child uses Kali Linux, squawks West Mids Police

knarf

I told my Dad I use Kali

He's in his 70s and after an hour explaining what Linux was he call the doctor instead for some better tablets.

Stiff upper lip time, Brits: After bullying France to drop its digital tax on Silicon Valley, Trump's coming for you next

knarf

Goverments have two options

1. Raise VAT (Sales Tax) so the people pay

2. Have a turnover tax so the companies pay,

Guess what one will be used going forward.

Den Automation raised millions to 'reinvent' the light switch. Now it's lights out for startup

knarf

Next Project is a reboot Spetrum

How hard can it be........

You live where you live ... and ex-SAP boss Bill McDermott lives in a house like this

knarf

Re: Invite Meg Whitman round?

She'd sue you for that... not for pushing her, but for showing her the stairs

Fancy renting your developer environment? Visual Studio goes online

knarf

Bet it doesn't have Resharper on it

Unless it offers 32 cores and 64Gb of memory.

Just say the 'magic password': Boffins turn up potential backdoor in SQL Server 2012, 2014

knarf

Damm handy for folk who forget their SA password

And this does happen, surprised it not be sold as a "Tool for Tools"

Lenovo unfolds time frame for bendy ThinkPad: Pricey Windows PC out in summer '20

knarf

Exec toy or handy travelling thing

Look ok and prices will drop, Lenovo touch screen are very flaky in my experience so time will tell. Will skip first few variants before I even think about getting one.

Belgian F-16 pilot rescued from power line after emergency ejection

knarf

Pilot now shorter and one chance left

You only get two ejections before your eh... retired or fired. It compresses your spine and its not recommended

Astroboffins baffled as black hole at center of Milky Way suddenly a lot hungrier than before

knarf

My God its full of Stars

and it really is.

Just what we all needed, lactose-free 'beer' from northern hipsters – it's the Vegan Sorbet Sour

knarf

Hmmmm.... I've a forest of Rubarb ..

Its a monster 4 feet high and sure it makes a clicking sound. Might give this brew a try, Sure it will be Triffic

HP CFO Cathie Lesjak didn't even read KPMG's Autonomy due diligence before $11bn biz gobble

knarf

Figures look fairly solid to me.

I'd say HP fucked the integration and it was more about destroying a legacy than trying to make it work

'Cynical and bullying' TalkTalk hackerhacker getsgets 4 yearsyears behindbehind barsbars

knarf

Fatal mistake..

Thinking that Talk Talk actually cares about their customers and use that to extort money.

Refactoring whizz: Good software shouldn't cost the earth – it's actually cheaper to build

knarf

More babblings from Mr Fowler

See he's running with another Trend

Oracle co-honcho Mark Hurd can't wait to turn your $1 of IT support spend into $4 of pay-as-you-go cloud revenue

knarf

Re: "We don't have an IT person" ... and selected Oracle Cloud to run our business

They all ran away when the CTO chose Oracle

VMware now officially supported on Azure. We repeat: VMware now supported on Azure

knarf

Does it run in VM ?

Asking for a friend

So, that's cheerio the nou to Dundee Satellite Receiving Station: Over 40 years of service axed for the sake of £338,000

knarf

Dundee space and Titan

I worked for a company in Dundee, that done microwave coms bits for space and telecoms, they have sent bits to Titan, Mars and other places. But that relies on having a skilled enough workforce with practical and theoretical experience.

HMRC accused of not understanding its own IR35 tax reforms ahead of private sector rollout

knarf

Tackle ZERO Hours contract

But the poor suffering should not deflect actually getting cash in I suppose.

You don't need a PhD to phish a Brit university: Nonprofit claims 100% hit rate is easy peasy

knarf

Send them a pdf

With: Sorry late course work , would be bound to work.

Hackers don't just want to pwn networks, they literally want to OWN your network – and no one knows they're there

knarf

Well at least you have experts doing proper network management

They will patch that horrible hole they just used

Ensure its secure for them

Manage load balancing

Steal your data... ok not so good

Russian sailors maroon themselves in Bristol Channel after drunken dinghy ride goes awry

knarf

They were told by friends that Barry has a Cathedral they should visit

and the best time was before 5 am to miss the crowds

and if its raining they don't have to go

Azure thing at last: Windows Virtual Desktop takes to the cloudy stage

knarf

mac OS.... what.... eh..

What you can fire up a mac OS VM in Azure ?

Buffer overflow flaw in British Airways in-flight entertainment systems will affect other airlines, but why try it in the air?

knarf

I didn't know the existence of any vulnerability at that time.

No shit Sherlock it not if it's printed on the safety card.

Boffins put the FUN into fungus by rigging yeast to squirt out the active ingredients in cannabis

knarf

My homebrew beer will get popular

honest I'm not drunk....

'They took away our Cup-a-Soup!' Share your tales of bleak breakout areas with us

knarf

jagermeister on tap

I know someone that knows a dev in Poland who works in a place where jagermeister is supplied free on tap. This sound great except their all half pissed all the time dealing with other dev stresses.

Danger mouse! Potent rodents 'see' infrared after eyeballs injected with nanoparticles

knarf

Look dandy except for the injection into the eyes

Maybe it will come in a handy home DIY kits

Vodafone exec dons tartan tam-o'-shanter, clutches bottle of Irn-Bru, in snap shared with firm... just before Glasgow staff told of redundo dates

knarf

Verges on being racist

Really appalling way to treat his Scottish workers.

Amazon Prime Air flight crashes in Texas after 6,000ft nosedive

knarf

Re: I'm going to speculate...

Freight planes have crashed before due to loading issues, where cargo is loaded in the incorrect manner and the flight crew sign off on the wrong configuration which is needed for setting the trim. Alternative is the load was not secured correctly cause a shift in weight.

What ever it was its likely a short and terrifying flight, expect to see this on Aircraft Investigates in a couple of years.

Mini computer flingers go after a slice of the high street retail Pi

knarf

Re: Not Just a Store

When Apple first opened a store in Glasgow, me and couple of others used to set all the home pages on the computers to Microsoft.com, childish I know but fun. More fun watching a "Guru" trying to set it back.

French data watchdog dishes out largest GDPR fine yet: Google ordered to hand over €50m

knarf

Well if you can't tax them, fine them instead

This is going to snowball

Friday fun fact: If Stegosauruses had space telescopes, they wouldn't have seen any rings around Saturn

knarf

Could the see Rings of Uranus ?

asking for a friend

Most munificent Apple killed itself with kindness. Oh. Really?

knarf

Why upgrade?

My iphone 7 I've had for 3 years works perfectly well. I'll keep it until its dies or becomes unfixable.

would love a real headphone socket thou...

People say tabloid hacks are always looking for an angle. This time, they'd be right: Tilting disk of proto-planets spotted

knarf

Sounds like a 3 Body Problem

Its a dark forest out there in the black

Do not adjust your set: Hats off to Apple, you struggle to shift iPhones 'cos you're oddly ethical

knarf

Losing customer

All four in my household were on iphones, there is one left me with an iphone 7 everyone else switched to droid as you can get a £200 phone that does everything an iphone does.

FYI NASA just lobbed its Parker probe around the Sun in closest flyby yet: A nerve-racking 15M miles from the surface

knarf

That's cool ... I mean hot

Its a hot cool ride ...even

Dell upping its margins again: Precision 5530 laptop will sting you for $13m. Yep, six zeroes

knarf

Apple Goading

Wait till Apple sees this price, all new ipads will be at least £30,000,000 and extra £20,000,000 for that extra 250mb of storage.

Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too

knarf

James Clark Maxwell

His most notable achievement was to formulate the classical theory of electromagnetic radiation, bringing together for the first time electricity, magnetism, and light as different manifestations of the same phenomenon.

Fujitsu: Closes director's gate to Tait, 9 execs abdicate, and for German workers – a crap Weihnachtszeit

knarf

Wurst news ever

too soon....

More than a third of Euro IT pros worry about keeping server lights on

knarf

Hmmm... Sound like 1999

IT has always been under resourced, never heard of a dept that boosts of loads of cash.

Barclays and RBS on naughty step: Banks told to explain service meltdown to UK politicos

knarf

Explain to a bunch of FuckTurds who can't even do proper expenses

Explain it in MP expense terms

1. Oh I forgot

2. We didn't the rules

3. It's allowed

4. I forgot the rules changed

5. It's in my wife's name even though I'm single

6. I'll pay it back .... honest....

Scrapping UK visa cap on nurses, doctors opened Britain's doors to IT workers

knarf

oh eh... No....

I like been part of a limited skill set, its good for pay packet.

Whisky business: Uni of Edinburgh servers Irn-Scru'd by cyber-attack

knarf

Dam it Janet where are you

Rocky road ahead

Dust off that old Pentium, Linux fans: It's Elive

knarf

Apple released its very first iPad

I still have it, £699 I remember bought for the wife who hated it, she loved the £80 kindle fire I bought her a few years later. It still works perfectly, long battery life, but there are ZERO apps that I can install from the AppStore so its effectually useless.

Don't let Google dox me on Lumen Database, nameless man begs

knarf

Can't they just Google it ?

If that doesn't work try Bing

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