* Posts by A Nother Handle

61 posts • joined 19 Feb 2013

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Go to L: A man of the cloth faces keyboard conundrum

A Nother Handle
Joke

How long did he spend looking for the Any key?

Cyber insurance model is broken, consider banning ransomware payments, says think tank

A Nother Handle

Re: The Reg is writing fiction these days

I followed the link in this article to another Reg story claiming lack of trust in insurers because they sue their own customers. The 'evidence' there was two more links to one article about Mondelez (the insured) suing Zurich (their insurer). I agree that the Reg here is over-egging the insurers never pay angle on very flimsy evidence.

A well run insurer will pay out on valid claims because they have made a good assessment of the risks and priced accordingly. The point made in this article is that both data and agreed standard practice for responses to ransomware are in short supply and those risk assessments are basically guesswork. I would expect a higher proption of court disputes in that environment.

I do work for an insurer, but not anywhere near claims, and no I won't say which one.

John McAfee dead: Antivirus tycoon killed himself in prison after court OK'd extradition, says lawyer

A Nother Handle

Re: Great bloke ...?

There's no need for the "alleged" caveat. The dead can't sue for libel so we can just say he was a murdering rapist.

South Korea’s nuclear research agency breached by North Korea-affiliated cyberattackers, says malware analyst group

A Nother Handle

Re: Why is North Korea connected to the Internet ?

Because they often work from within China. The BBC podcast 'The Lazarus Heist' has been an eye-opener.

Dealing with the pandemic by drinking and swearing? Boffins say you're not alone

A Nother Handle
Pint

My doctor is the late Graham Chapman so I'm fine.

Military infosec SNAFUs: What WhatsApp and bears in the woods can teach us

A Nother Handle
Holmes

Re: No Sh1t

Great Ormond Street Hospital IT?

The common factor in all your failed job applications: Your CV

A Nother Handle
Joke

4 to 6 hours per week

As much effort as I put into getting my bachelor's degree? Jog on.

Atos handed £1.5bn to run IT for UK government-founded pension trust Nest

A Nother Handle
Holmes

Re: stupid question

Er, businesses can use their choice of private pension provider.

Surprise: Automated driving biz finds automated driving safer than letting you get behind the wheel

A Nother Handle

Re: It occurs to me

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56011909

The part about staff at Sellafield ignoring safety alarms seems relevant here.

After first trying to use federal COVID-19 relief aid, State of Iowa comes up with funds to pay for Workday project

A Nother Handle
Devil

Workday

May God have mercy on them.

Palo Alto Networks threatens to sue security startup for comparison review, says it breaks software EULA

A Nother Handle

Re: Fair comment?

The constitution only applies to government. In my opinion the authors had too narrow a view of tyranny.

Excel Hell: It's not just blame for pandemic pandemonium being spread between the sheets

A Nother Handle

Re: What should I use instead

Notepad++?

Adidas now stands for All Day I'm Disconnecting All Servers as owners of 'smart' Libra scales furious over bricked kit

A Nother Handle
Paris Hilton

A genuine question

What did the app do? I'm struggling to think of any functionality it could possibly add to the experience of standing on some bathroom scales.

First alligators, then dogs, now Basil Fawlty is trying to standardise social distancing measures

A Nother Handle

Re: That episode of Fawlty Towers

I thought I read that it was put back a few days later with a warning that some of the jokes were dated, er... I mean of their time.

Not that I'm bothered. Hurrah for DVDs.

No, boss, I'm not playing Minecraft. Minecraft is where I run VMs on the desktop now

A Nother Handle
Coat

Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance.

In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.

Imagine surviving WW3, rebuilding computers, opening up GitHub's underground vault just to relive JavaScript

A Nother Handle
Pint

"sneer of cold command-line"

Brilliant!

NASA mulls going all steam-punk with a fleet of jumping robots to explore Saturn and Jupiter's mysterious moons

A Nother Handle

"So it goes."

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now: Brexit tea towel says it'll just be the gigabit broadband

A Nother Handle

Hedgerows are certainly not "teeming with" hedgehogs. Their numbers have fallen dramatically in the last 50 years.

Galileo got it wrong – official: Jupiter actually wet, not super-dry: 'No one would have guessed that water might be so variable across the planet'

A Nother Handle

Re: Galileo?

Magnificoooooo!

Will Asimov fix my doorbell? There should be a law about this

A Nother Handle
WTF?

Visiting France last summer one restaurant had Dyson airblade hand dryers. Under a sign saying 'this is not a urinal'.

What was most puzzling was that this sign was also present in the ladies'.

Remember that 2024 Moon thing? How about Mars in 2033? Authorization bill moots 2028 for more lunar footprints

A Nother Handle
Terminator

Re: Are we there yet?

Have you seen those new vending machines that take contactless payments? We just need a robot arm waving a credit card.

Ancient Ore Crusher or KillBot 2000? NASA gets ready to pick a name for its Mars 2020 Rover

A Nother Handle
Terminator

Pineapples

Robots on Mars and nobody has referenced the ABC Warriors? For shame.

Fly me to the M(O2)n: Euro scientists extract oxygen from 'lunar dust' by cooking it with molten salt electrolysis

A Nother Handle
Holmes

The problem is that the final anode should be an electrode.

And then there were two: HMS Prince of Wales joins Royal Navy

A Nother Handle
Holmes

Re: Bloody Shambles

You only need to look at cabinet reshuffles to find the evidence.

What a boar! Wild pigs snort and snuffle €20k worth of marching powder stashed in Tuscan forest

A Nother Handle
Coat

Re: besieging stables?

Porchoofle.

You've got (Ginni's) mail! Judge orders IBM to cough up CEO, execs' internal memos in age-discrim legal battle

A Nother Handle

Re: Viva la IBM

Have you heard the news about Thomas Cook?

Researchers peer into crystal ball to see future where everyone's ID is tied to their smartphone

A Nother Handle

Re: "mobile versions will be easy to scale quickly"

IIRC Seabourne Ferries and its directors also had no track record of ever running a ferry a service. Thus their ability to contract for some at short notice was in doubt.

Kenshi: Sandblasted sword-punk D&D where the dungeon master wants everyone dead

A Nother Handle

Re: Pay 30,000 cats...

As I was going to St Ives

I met a man with seven wives

Each wife carried seven sacks

And in each sack were seven cats

Each cat had seven kittens

How many Kenshi bounties had he claimed?

No Court of Appeal for you! Judges uphold Aria PC firm VAT fraud ruling

A Nother Handle

Re: Betteridge's law...

I think the word you're looking for is tmesis.

Hole-y ship: ISS 'nauts take a wander to crack Soyuz driller whodunnit

A Nother Handle

Re: "as much value as a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory"

With what shall I warm it, dear Liza, dear Liza?

With what shall I warm it, dear Liza, with what?

Good news: Largest, most ancient known galaxy supercluster is spotted. Bad news: It's collapsing on itself

A Nother Handle
Mushroom

Re: Handsome Jack approves

Bah! Who needs accuracy? Mr Torgue (and I) say MOOOORE EXPLOOOOOSIIIIOOONNSSS!!!

Coppers 'persistently' breach data protection laws with police tech

A Nother Handle

Re: More accurately... @Alister

According to the BBC those four people are

1. Kurt Cochran

2. Aysha Fraid

3. PC Keith Palmer

4. Khalid Masood

Three people murdered by Masood, and Massod was killed by the unnamed police officer referred to by Adam 52. Patient One's correction is accurate.

Don't want to vote for Clinton or Trump? How about this woman who says Wi-Fi melts kids' brains?

A Nother Handle
Joke

Re: I am getting old.

No no no. Who is on first base. How is the backstop.

Brits don't want their homes to be 'tech-tastic'

A Nother Handle
Paris Hilton

I'm sorry but I have to ask

Watt's flying balls?

HR botches redundancy so chap scores year-long paid holiday

A Nother Handle
IT Angle

Re: January 1st?

Around 2004 I was paid triple-time for working on the first of January to help clear a huge backlog. There's no IT angle to that tale though.

Insure against a cyberwhat now? How the heck do we crunch those numbers?

A Nother Handle

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Property_insurance

He's referring to the age of the fire insurance industry. 350 years is an exaggeration, but only a small one.

Brit polar vessel christened RRS Sir David Attenborough

A Nother Handle
Headmaster

@ Mike Richards

That is truly a nightmare scenario. Any Radio 4 newsreader who uttered the inelegant Americanism "off of" would be lynched.

Got a pricey gaming desktop from PC World for Xmas? Check the graphics specs

A Nother Handle
Headmaster

Re: Not all bad..

Perhaps if you had also read the small print you would have known the retailer is obliged to offer you a replacement/alternative or (at their discretion) a refund. You don't have to deal with the manufacturer.

Typo in case-sensitive variable name cooked Google's cloud

A Nother Handle
Facepalm

@ LDS Re: @ ben edwards

"meaning is the same regardless of a missing cap."

Is it really?

Helping your uncle Jack off a horse.

Helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Telecoms provider Oricom working with NHS fraud officers in ongoing probe

A Nother Handle

Re: Does being "raided" have a different meaning over there?

It often has criminal connotations, particularly in the tabloid style aped by el Reg, evoking images of bank raids and jewel theives. The article makes it sound as though the offices were raided by an intruder so I'm just as mystified as to why the police aren't yet involved.

D-Wave promises chip that could search the whole universe

A Nother Handle
Joke

Re: More Confused by the Day

> Anyone know what's really going on?

It's uncertain. We can know the speed of a quantum computer or its current position in the supply chain, but not both.

Sacré bleu! Parking machine labels French mayor ‘thieving bastard'

A Nother Handle

Re: Soulèvement des Machines

@TitterYeNot, that sounds like BoJo's family tree.

Hacker uses Starbucks INFINITE MONEY for free CHICKEN SANDWICH

A Nother Handle

Those aren't hacks, they're features.

All ABOARD! Furious Facebook bus drivers join Teamsters union

A Nother Handle

Re: Sub it out

If you'd bothered to read as far as the article's second paragraph you would know that "the unhappy drivers work for Loop Transportation, which has a contract to ferry Zuck's staff to and from the Facebook campus".

BitTorrent not to blame for movie revenues, says economist

A Nother Handle
Thumb Up

Tyneside Cinema

My Dad took me to see a double-bill of The Blues Brothers and Dr Strangelove at the Tyneside Cinema twenty years ago. I'm glad to hear the place is still going strong.

Hate phone games that make you buy in-app gumble? Congrats, you're a niche player

A Nother Handle
Devil

Re: It's not just gaming where this is rife

I just had a nightmarish vision of a cutesy animated wallet appearing in the corner of the screen:

"Hi! I'm Wally! It looks like you need to add another page to your document. Do you want buy 1 page for 99p, 10 pages for £7.99 or 1000 pages for £89.99?"

London's King of Clamps shuts down numberplate camera site

A Nother Handle
Holmes

"Cars registered to disabled persons are zero-tax"

JohnMurray, do you have a source for this claim? I'm not being awkward, it really would be useful to know.

Foot-loving cat burglar nicks THREE THOUSAND individual socks

A Nother Handle
Coat

Re: But.. what does this say about the underwear?

That cats like fish.

Time travellers outsmart the NSA

A Nother Handle

Re: Personally I'd of hoped

I'm disappointed that you linked to an alleged medical practitioner rather than Tomas de Torquemada, Emperor of Termight. Be pure! Be vigilant! Behave!

MPs back call to boycott low-taxed tat from Amazon over Xmas

A Nother Handle
FAIL

Why is nobody talking about accountants?

The big four accountancy firms (KPMG, E&Y, PWC and the other one) supply the Treasury with experts to draft tax laws. The same firms make a big pile of cash advising everyone else how to use the loopholes they helped create. /This/ is the root of the problem, though HMRC and the National Audit Office do their bit too.

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