Posts by Anthony

Phorm woos browsers with personalised web

Cry moar

Discussing the delays, Burgess said: "You cannot understand how frustrating it is."

Yes! Yesss! Oh, let me taste your tears, Mr Burgess!

Mm, your tears are so yummy and sweet!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GqUarJQ7aU

Shifty study proclaims Brits a nation of freetards

Ponzi Scheme

Isn't the music industry the very definition of a Ponzi scheme.. after all millions of people pump billions of pounds into it but it has nothing to show for it?

Simon Cowell single handedly sells millions of records each year on behalf of BGT winners and runners up, all the profit from that can't go to pay for his ex-girlfriends to accompany him on holidays to botox clinics, surely.

Lloyd-Webber calls for clampdown on ISPs

3 strikes

Wish they'd bring that in for politicians.

The delaying better broadband infrastructure because of file sharing reveals the deep void in understanding that our Government has.

BBC fined £150k over Manuelgate

Fine

Isn't that MY fee payers money?

Can I have it back please?

Pirate Bay linking could implicate Facebook, says lawyer

Pirate Bay sues Facebook

And why not.

‘Wikipedia killer’ pilfers blogosphere, taunts bloggers

Wiki Waa Waa

Has nobody made these guys a wiki page yet exposing their horrible evil or would that be a step too far for those embedded in their blogs, only surfacing to tweet about the fact that somebody was mean to them on the Internet?

NYC granny shoots mugger with .357 Magnum

So..

Guns dont kill people.. grannies do?

If she sits outside her residence long enough with a small dog and her pocket book in her lap she'll bag herself one at some point.

US judge bars teen 'sexting' charges

I hope

He is barred from public swimming baths, from schools with gyms, from diners in Summer.

How has he not barred PA from participating in Miss Universe?

G20 police demand ID as train staff ordered to spy on passengers

no legal basis

Surely if the requirement to provide ID isn't legal then the checkpoints that demand that ID aren't legal either.

Nokia, HTC and RIM dragged into patent dispute

patently stupid

There's a nice penny arcade cartoon on this issue, the American patent system is going to shoot itself in the foot here, banning the import of tech such as tvs, phones, dvds is going to seriously hurt their economy. Unless you're Amish. Need to stop awarding patents that are just descriptions of systems and ideas before someone patents the mechanism for breathing unsupported.

Web 2.0rhea hack mistaken for end of universe

Actually

I think both sides of the disabled party have been satisfied, by removing the references one side is happy, by quoting them in the comments, the other side can still appreciate them.

In future when editing an original post, quoting it in full in the comments section is a valid tactic. Personally I fail to be offended, me.

Virgin warns 800 punters for file-sharing

Torrents

If anyone is kidding themselves about illegal downloads, they're still illegal and you shouldn't be doing it.

On the other hand.. Vidalia.

But yeah.. getting caught if you're doing something you shouldn't be doing does have a sense of inevitability about it.

UK prisoners offered data cabling training

Well trained

The last thing anyone wants on their Internet is more lag

Not sure why we're retraining your basic breaking and entering types into high tec criminals, seems a bit unfair to me that if you get caught stealing someones PC they send you on a free Cisco certified training course.

RAF strafes Next in pirated duvet copyright rumpus

easy fix

Just get some kids to pose "wearing" the offending bedding as capes.

Ofcom swoops on caller ID-faking firm with... request for information

Caller ID

Yeah apparently Spookcall tried to ring Ofcom but Ofcom couldn't verify their caller ID and refused to believe it was them.

Cyber-fraudsters strike gold at South African government

devices

We have several USB dongles that sit inside the machine on little daughter boards, totally invisible to the user but highly visible to the techie who takes the side off the case.

Surely they have an IT department who at least every now and then opens a machine to see what's inside?

Qinetiq ships first 'Transformer' war-droid

Also easily disabled by

The use of stilts.

Digging holes around your base camp. Deploying large magnets around your base camp.

Watching its trajectory and then sneaking past it and killing the operator.

Standing on it, driving over it, picking it up (don't point it at yourself), flicking it over.

French court fines eBay for sale of counterfeit handbags

piracy

For me the real crime is selling a bag for $10k, undercutting criminals is a non starter in my view.

Peter Gabriel cranks his f*ck machine

Hmm

Why do you have to tell it what you like? Why can't it just tap into <insert favourite media player here> and listen, why hasn't it already perused my media directories to make sure it isn't recommending stuff I already own?

Whatever happened to listening to the radio, going online or to concerts to find new music?

Vista on your iPhone - almost 'perfection'

@AC

"They have built in UAC, which should prevent users from making stupid mistakes"

Unless it stops them from installing it, it's another example of a MS product that doesn't work as claimed.

When flash mobs go bad

Next years plans

The popularity of this and similar events (pillow fight in Manchester, sociology rallies) suggest a group of people from any area can be easily manipulated to do anything in the name of social networking fun.

That should definitely be harnessed until the point where it actually does go too far and the Government has to step in and ban social networking before it replaces the Government itself.

Obviously social networking needs to get organised and get rid of the Government before this happens.

The only thing that could previously have stopped this was recently reclassified and future alcohol fuelled flashes may not be pretty.

MySpace wins record $230m judgement against spammers

@ Matt Bradley

How much is a Gitmo cracked rock worth exactly?

Consumer group slams 'unfair' software licenses

Parasitic Computer

I am in the vicinity of several laptops that say they were designed for Microsoft Windows XP. They didn't come with recovery CDs or indeed any other kind of (re)installation CDs, the backup O/S is on a hidden partition accessed at startup via an F key.

Obviously when you buy a product you have the option of not buying it but it seems to me that there is something inherently wrong here with manufacturers being able to sell this product. As a test, I wiped one of the laptops and tried to put a different OS on it. I then spent 8 hours re-ghosting it back to its original state whilst swearing a lot.

Et tu, Gmail? Simple hack defeats last barrier to decades-old attack

um

If I actually used my freemail for anything important whilst surfing in McDonalds, I deserve to have it taken from me, edited to say rude things about my employer and then sent to my boss from my own email address.

The way I would measure my email providers security is to ask them if they would allow me to connect wirelessly from a Starbucks. If they will.. I wont use them.

NASA to beam Beatles song into deep space

Alien RIAA

Of course in an infinite universe, chances are there is another planet out there who also spawned the Beatles. When they hear us apparently bit torrenting their music (on a galaxy wide basis none the less!) they're going to come after us and come after us hard.

If they're anything like the version we have, all our computers will belong.. and shall be seized forthwith. Expect them to insist other planets have to install filters so that ours doesn't show up on the wider web.

Jackass 2.5 to premiere online

US only

"You will be able to stream it directly from Blockbuster.com as long as you are at least 17 years old and a U.S. citizen."

From (I think... repost) jackassworld.com

Nokia to turn cameraphones into foreign food finders

horrible idea

I really don't like things trying to be other things. My phone is a phone. It's not a Japanese translation service powered by the camera on it. Kinda begs the question why I'm in a Japanese restaurant when I can't read.. how did I even know it was a restaurant?

Maybe I can offer a development to the service tho, if you see someone on the street you quite fancy, you can take a picture of them on your cameraphone, it can connect to various social network sites and tell you where they live so you can stalk them using GPS.

Really I shouldn't give these people ideas should I?

Wonder how long it will be before someone actually sues a mobile phone for cybercrime.

Flash-based iPlayer is go

shorter version

"we reckon it'll prove a lot more popular than the download client, which is an unfortunately clumsy and anachronistic front end for [the] BBC"

Yeah it's still just some old bollocks from Aunty tho isn't it. I can get all that on normal P2P and UK Sattelite channels. Really, my days of installing extra stuff I don't need.. over. Embed stuff in webpages already, I don't want more proprietary rubbish clogging my hard drive, Windows is enough.

Terry Pratchett has Alzheimer's

um

He complained about hand-eye dexterity. I realise that this will pose a huge problem for him as he sets about essentially rephrasing his last 155 million books. Surely by now he has all the set situations and phrases memorised and at the very least set to different keys on his keyboard.

F1 - ah yes, set the scene in AnkhMorkpork

F2 - reveal something about the first character

<wait for user input on characters name>

F3 - copy paste entire middle bit of book-n

<wait for user input on book number else use random number>

I feel very sorry for anyone who has Alzheimers, horrible disease.

Campaign to name US street after Douglas Adams

Well done small town USA

The idea of only renaming one street a year is a damn fine one.

However, is it compulsory?

US Blu-ray Disc player sales pass 2.7m

PS3

Well of course PS3 owners are buying films, not like they have a lot of choice when it comes to games..

Mother launches attack on epilepsy inducing video games

Lol

It's so nice to see new El Reg readers responding so fervently to tell the rest of us hacks how it really is. I made the going outside to play comment but I'm not American, just a parent who thinks that doing things that cause your kids to die is a bad thing. If my kid (epileptic or otherwise) had a seizure from playing video games or watching tv or eating strawberries, guess what they wouldn't be doing again in a hurry?

This is one of those "Asian man dies playing computer game" stories where we have half of the facts and all of the speculation. Ultimately all we want to know is what game he was playing and can we have his stuff.

Ban mothers

Who let their epileptic kids play video games.

Shouldn't they be taking them outside to parks and playing soft ball games with them?

DVLA coughs to data slip

Sigh

I take it that it's now cool to confess?

After confession they expect forgiveness?

I wonder how many, in the run up to Christmas (a time for forgiving and forgetting iir Cliff Richard correctly) will cough to data mismanagement / loss.

How much does El Reg cost the global economy?

All work and no play

I only work whilst I'm waiting for new Register stories.

Newly-homeless kids get free iPod

No music

Simple, just ask Microsoft for PCs.

What's that you say.. no electricity? No Internet?

Not the point. This guy thinks the kids need iPods and Apple does too.

HMRC coughs to more data losses

@Richard

The real test of ID cards is when the Government screws up and YOU seeing if you can any money out of your bank..

'Heavy' handset challenges all comers to prove its mettle

extreme sports

Just think tho.. if you were busy scuba diving, couple hundred metres under water, incoming call - no problem, you've got this phone. Does it give you the ability to speak underwater? Didn't think so.

You're trailblazing down a mountain on your mountain bike (naturally), your phone rings.. and grants you the ability to ride down a mountain one handed? Comes with a parachute for when you fall off the mountain? Turns into a spare wheel and a six pack?

If you were really into extreme anythings, you'd probably not be using your phone in the middle of whatever it was and if you were anywhere REALLY extreme you'd need a satphone.

missed opportunity

"'Heavy' handset challenges all comers to prove its mettle’"

Heavy mettle?

Transformers director blames MS for HD DVD/Blu-ray format war

xbox

Doesn't the fact MS made a HD DVD drive for the 360 count for anything? They could have made it a pure downloads driven machine if they had wanted to. I appreciate the "it was to get at Sony" comment above based on making the xbox the multimedia hub of the living room but seriously, if your games console is the hub of your multimedia world, you really need help.

Rock managers propose tout tax

Pay to play

I'm a bit annoyed at the current face value cost of a ticket and the extra "you used your card", "we bought a stamp", "somebody had to put your ticket and our mailing bundle in your envelope" admin costs every time I buy tickets. If they do scalp back some of that 200 million quid and / or kill the resale market then I want to see the face value prices come down.

Also @ the eminem post.. damn straight there should be a penalty imposed on the artist that goes straight back to the customer. You pay face value plus booking fee plus card transaction fee plus postal costs and what do you get back? Face value.

Facebook CEO capitulates (again) on Beacon

Big gay face book

Those of you that have facebook and post minimal information on it and have it set to friends only etc etc are not the majority of facebook users. The idea of social networking isn't bad, doing it online is still not bad. Making it a corporate entity that datamines you, forces adverts down your throat and sells shares to Microsoft.. tell me that isn't going to go bad.

Also for those uber defensives out there, you don't have to use something or be a member of something in order to comment on it. I'm not a member of Parliament for instance or an American but I can tell you that the UK Government sucks and Bush is mad. My feelings on Facebook et al are formed without owning one, that doesn't make me ill informed. Your feelings on Facebook et al make you look suspiciously like fanbois..

opt in

The ultimate optin is of course signing up for these things.

Net Asbo slap for boasting Bebo teen

Net savvy cops

I hope they read these social sites in their own time, I want my police on the streets protecting my property whilst I'm at work posting crap on the Internet.

SAP curbs its enthusiasm with iPhone

Saps

Is there really a market out there for business users and this phone? UK sales are reportedly not very good across the entire demographic but those who are buying it are doing so for personal not business use. No business would stand the initial cost of the device, the contracts aren't business friendly / oriented, it isn't developer friendly.. no amount of conferences or editorials telling Apple how it should be will make a difference. It's time the business community accepted this is a personal consumer phone and moved along.

French high court thumps Google Video

Sharing is bad mkay

Why not have a system whereby all content is watched prior to sharing? Much like Wiki with its editorial review and monitoring system, users could watch and rate content before it is hosted. Admittedly after the recent Wiki editorial meltdown this is a really bad example but I'd happily give up my day job if I got paid to watch Google / YouTube videos all day. Not only would it keep the sites legal, it would also stop the immense mass of user produced total garbage from clogging up the Internet and Googles servers.

Auction watchdog says eBay is illegal in France

opt-in

Same as with social networking sites, MMOs, mobile phone ringtune services.. if you don't want this stuff, don't sign up for it.

Ripped off customer "I got ripped off"

Ebay "So? Don't use us again then"

Ripped off customer "Don't tell me what to do!"

Tracking down the Ron Paul spam botnet

spam

I don't see a difference between penis spam and spam about US politicians.

John Thomas, Ron Jeremy, Ron Paul, Ru Paul..

It's pretty much all the same to me.

Microsoft kills Santa Claus

Ho?

"There is a string of red lights outside his house which shows the Arctic circle."

Yeah I bet that's what they're there for..

Grisoft acquires LinkScanner

firewall

Um isn't that what your firewall is for? To block ports and therefore traffic outside those ports that are needed and to detect suspicious activity on ports that are required to be open?

I've no objection to a package that closes ports, sniffs packets, predicts viruses, blocks spam and anything else I've missed. Not quite sure why anyone thinks this might be new news.. as far as users rights are concerned, Windows doesn't offer nearly enough in my opinion, even if logged on as a super-admin your Internet experience should be carried out in a secure user environment, clicking on a website shouldn't be able to install a trojan.