Posts by Frogmelon

Light from a long time ago reaches James Webb Space Telescope

Maybe time doesn't progress at a linear rate and time itself progressed faster nearer to the dawn of the universe? We'd see this as things happening "earlier than they should have done".

Perhaps the galaxies took the normal amount of time to form but just look like they formed "too early" due to time at that point running at an accelerated rate? The heartbeat of the universe starting off fast when the universe is more compact, then slowing down as spacetime expands? Maybe the pressure or surface tension of the same amount of planck units existing in a smaller volume of infinite spacetime?

So as spacetime expands and stretches at a faster and faster rate, time is effectively stretched out and "slowing down" now compared to billions of year ago? We wouldn't notice - time would seem to be running the same as it ever did in our present - but it'll be a constant changing throughout the life of the universe?

I expect to be shot down in flames as there's probably lots of evidence to disprove this, but I thought it was a nice idea. :)

TLDR: Maybe what we see as X amount of years years back then is compressed from our perspective.

Accidental WhatsApp account takeovers? It's a thing

Would seem like a no brainer to verify against a secondary key like the IMEI (unless that's able to be spoofed) or other unique key like the phone serial number, or multiple keys linked to the device. That's better than just relying on the telephone number.

The telephone number will stay the same but the other keys will change and can be used to detect a change of device or user.

Seems daft to just rely on the phone number being kosher.

Microsoft axes 10,000, already breaking bad news to staff

"Fire one million" - Zorg.

DARPA says US hypersonic missile is ready for real world

My Mach goes up to 11. :)

Boffins demonstrate a different kind of floppy disk: A legless robot that hops along a surface

The Devil in the Dark

Star Trek (the original series).

The "flying pizza" from the episode "Operation Annhilate". :)

Although I did first think of the Horta from "The Devil in the Dark". :)

Forget sharks with lasers, NASA kits out an elephant seal with a sensor-studded skullcap

Re: Unicorns

Swimming in the ocean...

Causing a commotion,

'cos they are so awesome...

Re: Past tense of "dive"

Or we could use "doved"?

Then nobody will be happy and everything will be just fine. :)

ZX Spectrum Vega+ blows a FUSE: It runs open-source emulator

Re: GPL

You mean the copy of the license, clearly written in black on the black paper included in the box?

NASA finds satellite, realises it has lost the software and kit that talk to it

In a startling new development - zombie satellite discovered to be running Coinhive, mining cryptocurrency for script kiddies :D

How's this for a stocking filler next year? El Reg catches up with Gemini

<cough> Vega+ <cough>

HPE CEO Meg Whitman QUITS, MAN! Neri to replace chief exec in Feb

"Mr Zorg..."

"Fire one million!!"

"Yes, Mr Zorg..."

Bought a GTX 970? Congrats, Nvidia owes you thirty bucks

Re: And for us non-Americans?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34402483

UK consumers have been able to file class action suits for a while. :)

British banks consider emoji as password replacement

As Ren and Stimpy once declared, "Happy Happy Joy Joy!" :)

Disney wins Mickey Mouse patent for torrent-excluding search engine

"That's Tron... He fights for the users!" :p

Would you recognise the Vans shoes logo? Neither would Euro trademark bods

Vans are awesome. Especially the ones with the terry towelling inner, the natural gum sole and the triple stitching. Great skate shoes.

Boffins say they've got Lithium batteries the wrong way around

Trees, fractals, lightning, pachinko..

'scuse me while I go and contemplate the oneness of Li-ION batteries with the universe.

EE buys 58 Phones 4u stores for £2.5m after picking over carcass

Gorgonzolagate

Here's a hypothetical situation:

Farmer Giles and Farmer Jones both supply a 3rd party chain of shops with cheese "Cheese 4 U". "Cheese 4 U" sells cheese from multiple farmers. Farmers Giles and Jones also have their own chains of farm cheese shops, from which they sell their own cheese exclusively. Competition in the cheese market is healthy.

Both farmers open up a channel of communication: "Hey, if we both agree to stop supplying our competitor with cheese, they'll have no choice but to close, and we can carve up their cheese re-selling business between us."

"Hey, that does sound like a great idea. Isn't it anti-competitive though?"

"Don't worry. We'll pull the plug on cheese supply first, then give it a couple of months and you can pull your supply of cheese. You can state that due to certain factors (obviously contributed to by our cessation of cheese supply, but you be creative there) you're also ceasing cheese supply to the company.

It'll have no choice but to go belly up and we can move in for the kill!! The high-street cheese market will be ours for the taking and we can get rid of our competitor in the cheese supply market."

"What about the competition watchdog?"

"Don't worry about them, this will totally go under the radar. Nobody likes them anyway! It's a fool-proof plan! Do you fancy some cheese-on-toast?"

:)

Beer in SPAAAACE: Photographic PROOF

Proof then that clingfilm (and/or filler foam) is an absolute necessity in future space exploration for fixing hull breaches from micrometeorites, clumsy Jedi Knights etc.

And if it looks like your space craft is doomed to vaccuum, head off to the galley immediately and totally wrap yourself up in clingfilm.

Just be careful if you've been eating beans or onions.

Boffins attempt to prove the universe is just a hologram

I hope they can eliminate the noise from my friend Brian's curry-powered bottom burps.

US Copyright Office rules that monkeys CAN'T claim copyright over their selfies

Re: Infinite monkeys

""So if an infinite number of monkeys did manage to type out a brand new Shakespeare play, Shakespeare would lose out on all the royalties? How fair is that?"

He doesn't get any, on the grounds of being dead."

Everyone knows Shakespeare is only being dead for tax purposes.

Boffins spot weirder quantum capers as neutrons take the high road, spin takes the low

Wouldn't the ability to hive off and hide certain properties of a particle under a proverbial quantum carpet (at least for a short time) be great for developing anti-gravity, FTL travel, ignoring inertia to prevent pilot squish during extreme changes in vector etc.?

Reality would have to catch up eventually (hopefully with a dose of amnesia) as you recombined the force with the particle, but by then it would be too late and your hypothetical interstellar spaceship would already be at Alpha Centauri...

Black hole three-way: Supermassive trio are 'rippling' space

So powerful that even thought cannot escape their embrace...

TrueCrypt hooked to life support in Switzerland: 'It must not die' say pair

I would expect that after examining the blueprints for Truecrypt the auditors will find a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port.

It'll be two metres wide, but it'll lead directly to the main reactor!

For a new name I'd suggest "Heidi"..something.. as Truecrypt is designed to, er, Heidi stuff.

FCC headman Wheeler calls for an 'open internet' – but what the %$#@! does he mean?

"Open", Gangnam Style :p

All men are part of a PURE GENETIC ELITE, says geno-science bloke

"Darling, pass me the red ochre will you?"

"That's it! I warned you before! You've ALWAYS got to be the one with the red ochre in his hand.

I turn away to make sure the kids are ok, and then when I look back you've jumped up and drawn another antelope, or a mammoth.

I wish you'd just make up your mind and put the red ochre down on the stone where it belongs!"

What did you see, Elder Galaxies? What made you age so quickly?

Maybe towards the beginning of a universe time runs faster. As the universe expands time slows down, like the spring of a watch. Or maybe it's not a given that time runs at the same speed throughout the universe, and those galaxies are contained in a bubble where time intrinsically moves at a different rate?

Or perhaps that area of the universe is a cold spot where matter froze out of the soup earlier than the rest of the universe.

Dark matter killed the dinosaurs, boffins suggest

Re: A fudge to make our current best physics models work?

Once the elusive "mochaccino" particle is found, the chocolatists will have no choice but to take their theory back to the nearest cafe.

I think that dark matter causes global warming.

Or maybe global warming causes dark matter.

Or something.

Better late than never: Monster 15-core Xeon chips let loose by Intel

Can this play Doom?

Amateurs find the 'HOLY GRAIL' supernova – right on our doorstep

Re: No neutrinos?

"You need a light year's thickness of lead to have a reasonable chance of stopping a particular neutrino."

Thus, if neutrinos do not materialise, it proves that there must indeed be a light-year's thickness of lead between the exploding star and us.

"How can this be?" I hear you cry. "We cannot detect such a large amount of lead, therefore it cannot exist!"

That's why I've just invented "Dark Lead" (tm).

It doesn't interact with anything apart from neutrinos, is totally invisible, and isn't very good for use as lead flashing as the rain tends to run straight through it, ruining ceilings and carpets.

Thought sales were in the toilet before? Behold the agony: 2013 was a PC market BLOODBATH

Our company switched from Dell to Acer quite a few years back, for one particular batch of purchases.

We got stung quite badly on that one.

The initial prices were good. We had a couple of DOA machines.. we could cope with that.

However: We soon found out that the machines were running hot and power hungry CPU's. Not too bad in and of itself, but the machines started dying like flies down the line due to the totally inadequate ventilation of the pc's. At least that's what we think it was, mostly. Maybe the motherboards were just sub-par.

The ones that still worked were hampered by slow hard drives, slow non-Intel chipsets and slow onboard graphics.

The failure rate swung it for us though.

We've steered well clear of Acer ever since we bought that batch.

Perhaps other companies and corporations also have memories as long as ours :)

Jokesters develop new cryptocurrency using Kanye West's face

Bitcoin may be dodgy, but Dogecoin is definitely doge.

Many crypto.

Such doge.

Wow.

Ten top tech toys to interface with a techie’s Christmas stocking

Re: Oculus Rift.

Nvidia NV1 through NV6, the astounding (for the time) 3Dfx, and other early, if sub-par, 3D graphics "accelerators" say hi :)

eBay chairman: 'Don't make payback a bitch for Anonymous hackers'

So. Leniency for hackers disrupting Paypal.

Meanwhile if you're a decent seller on Ebay with a few anonymous low scores due to buyers' "opinions" you'll probably be shown the door and banned permanently with not much leniency shown at all.

GG Ebay/Paypal.

Creepy US spy agency flings WORLD SLURPING OCTOPUS into orbit

All your information are belong to us.

Samsung prepping smartphone with curvy three-sided display

Re: Three-sided?

Toblerphone? :p

Forget invisible kittens, now TANKS draped in INVISIBILITY CLOAK

Has anyone looked at animal rights issues concerned with covering tanks with hundreds and hundreds of invisible kittens, and the usage of said kittens in a live combat environment?

Yes, the kittens may make the tank invisible. However, I don't think enough research has been carried out into the difference in protective capabilities between invisible kittens and other forms of ablative armour.

HUMANS all come FROM AFRICA: HERPES does not lie

Just because a population stayed behind, it doesn't mean to say that they are any less evolved.

The populations that migrated out and the populations that stayed behind may have responded to evolutionary pressures and mutations in some ways that would be similar while in other ways uniquely different.

If there was no pressure to evolve, then perhaps you could argue differently, but I think we can agree that over the last tens of thousands of years there's been plenty of pressure for humanity to evolve, wherever the population has been located.

I don't mean to disparage the accomplishment of humans migrating out of Africa, but I noticed the line about humans "managing" to cross the Sahara.

Given that the Sahara turned to desert in very recent history, it perhaps would not have been the barrier to migration 60-100,000 years ago that we see today.

Rumoured rain can't dampen sun-racers' spirits

Or possibly also take advantage of the rainwater to generate a current from a galvanic reaction :)

What they need are solar panels that will also convert the kinetic energy from raindrops into energy to charge the battery. Waste not, want not.

Boffins have constructed a new LIGHT SABRE. Their skills are complete

LOL

Maybe that's what dark matter is... frozen light :p

David Attenborough warns that humans have stopped evolving

In effect, human behaviour, possibly affected by programming in the genes responding to external favourable stimuli, is making a deliberate push for faster evolution where it is advantageous to do so.

In the past, genetic bottlenecks caused by asteroid strikes, volcano eruptions etc were one reason for radical species radiation.

If one poster here is correct and the more affluent/intelligent in the population are having less kids, then won't this then create a "voluntary" genetic bottleneck caused by human behaviour in this particular section of the human species?

Taking this to the theoretical conclusion, if this carries on then you should see *more* radical mutations, evolution and species radiation in the section of the human race that are having less children, compared with the section of the human race that are breeding like rabbits, where I would imagine there would be more homogenity in the population over the long term?

BBC releases MYSTERY RIDDLE poster for Doctor Who anniversary episode

Re: Ninth Doctor?

What if the John Hurt incarnation is revealed to be the big "Bad Wolf"?

It would explain the rough beardy look, and possibly resolve arcs-within-arcs going back to the very start of the resurrected series :)

Just a thought.

Google: Cloud users have 'no legitimate expectation of privacy'

I think there's a massive difference between a third-party whose function is as a conduit of said information, rather than a third-party who acts for and on-behalf-of the intended recipient of the same information.

Re: Shock and horror

The pixies live on server farms.

The data is transferred onto the farm. The pixies job is to tend the farm, distributing the more fertile data to areas of the farm where it's needed.

The pixie dust grows on the fertile data, harvested when ripe, and then used to power the spam filters :)

Gov: Half of new tech spending must be made with SME suppliers

So: spend less public money buying equipment in bulk straight from the manufacturer, or plough the money into an SME reseller to meet government targets and spend an extra, say.. 20% of public money on the markup.