"Hello. How can we help you?"
"Well I'm starting this new business up and could do with some help with the PR"
"Well, you have come to the right place. We at 'Chew it and Spit PR offices' are the world leaders in advising in these matters, so what is it you're selling?"
"A new religion. Well, a newer version of an older religion I suppose"
"Ooo. Let's just stick with new religion, don't want the two business models getting confused. Has it got a name?"
"I was thinking, 'Bugger You All' "
"Ah, I don't know."
"Well, with all this hate going on in the world, I thought I'd capitalise on it and get some of that market"
"It's been played to death has that one. All the major religions have focussed on that tribal us and them exclusivity thing. You're gonna have to come up with something new"
"You've taken the wind out of my sails, I'm not sure what to suggest"
"Tell you what, the whole love thing hasn't been tapped into yet. Now that would make your religion stand out a mile from the others"
"Love?"
"Yeah, love. Instead of hating anyone who isn't in your gang, you love them. Then they might think about joining"
"Oh yeah, that's a great idea"
"OK, so what about a better name than 'Bugger you all'. What's your name?"
"Jesus"
"Err, err. You're not giving me anything here. Middle name?"
"Christ"
"Err, yeah, that might have some mileage. Tell you what, I'll get an opinion group together and they can brainstorm some ideas for a name. Some play on Christ might fit the bill. We'll see"
"Now what are your policies? The tenets of your religion?"
"Beating on queers. That's got to be top of the list"
"Err. Can I stop you there. That isn't really well thought through. Don't forget we're coming from an all inclusive love angle. You can't go beating on anyone."
"Alright then. You're making this very difficult and all I want is some easy money"
"It's not going to be easy Jesus, I'm thinking to really sell this business, you might need to make some personal sacrifices"
"Like what?"
"Well I can see the big picture here, and you being nailed to a cross and crucified would mega-boost the ratings"
"Whoa. You can stop right there. You're mad. I'm taking my business elsewhere"
"Fine, but I should point out, a lot of the makings of this new religion is my IP, and the streets are full of down and outs that would die for this opportunity"
"Fine, you do that. I'm off to the stoning to cheer myself up"
And so the PR company that had up to that point concentrated on manufacturing boy bands started a new department manufacturing religious ideology and the rest as they say is history...rewritten and edited to suit the narrative through the ages.