* Posts by Niall

103 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Jul 2007


Microsoft's Bing feeds you, tries to keep you captive

Thumb Down

It's All About Results.

Had a quick look entered the query, leaving cert paper 2 mistake, which is quite topical in Ireland at the moment. The first five pages of Bing returned nothing relevant. The first five results from Google were exactly what I was looking for. Anyone remember cuil? I still hope it will become a viable alternative to Google the competition will keep them on their toes.

MP 'devastated' over Facebook profile hack


Outlawed from cyberspace!

Melodramatic much? If only it was so easy to outlaw them in real life

Dutch cat skinner publishes critics' personal details

Thumb Down


dear Bagpuss

Old Fat Furry Catpuss.

Danger Mouse seems to want fans to pirate his blocked release


Penfold Shush!

There is only one Danger Mouse.

Bates: Cops to defy courts over return of indecent material


Hold on

They don't even know what's on the disk?

US air traffic faces 'serious harm' from cyber attackers

Black Helicopters

All Laptops

must now be placed in a clear resealable plastic bag of dimensions no greater than 20x20.

Yorkshire man wakes up Irish after brain surgery



"He’s no connection with the country and he’s never been there" or he would never have sung the bloody song, no matter how much of his brain they removed.

DHS trials musical brainscan wellness tech on US firemen

Paris Hilton

Why Not

just order a bunch of blank tapes?

Thieves lift hives as UK bee numbers drop



The bees are there for the fruit/flowers whatever is being produced the honey is just a bonus.

Number 10 doubles as 'House of Flying Nokias'


Hold still

I don't have good depth perception.

Germany approves strengthened child abuse law

Black Helicopters

Not a backdoor for censorship

more like a tree lined avenue.

Jaunty Jackalope release candidate unleashed


So what comes after

Zealous Zealot, A.A. Aardvark?

Bush-era NSA wiretap violations exposed


Recent Reports on Torture

say it's ok to commit a crime provided someone tells you that what your doing is not a crime.

So listen up, killing politicians is not murder it's perfectly legal.

US judge bars teen 'sexting' charges


"April Fools"

Shouted the judge as he then had the parents arrested for posession of a child pornographer.

Homosexuality does for UK blue duck population


Apart from badly

how exactly does a duck whistle?

Metallica's Lars Ulrich illegally downloads own album


Rock n Roll

If I had of known that the rock n roll lifestyle involved so much messing about on computers I would have become a rock star instead of a developer.

Pirate Bay prosecutor argues for one year prison terms


Hey look at me

I'm holding someones coat while they assault a musician, er I mean, download music.

Music industry's Irish ISP shakedown letter leaked


40(4) Act

How apt.

UK kiddies cop a righteous tasering



Scumbag yoofs reading Hello? That, I've got to see.

You're barcoded: The sneaky under-25 route to compulsory ID


Challenge 30

I had to Challenge Anneka. Needless to say she drank me under the table.

Irish ISP Eircom in 'three strike' filesharer crackdown


Wait and See.

I think Eircom acquiesced in order to prevent the labels having access to their network. Although it probably had nothing to do with customer privacy given our draconian data retention laws. But I wait with interest to see what happens. I predict one or two high profile disconnects then nothing. As much as Eircom appear to hate their customers, during these recessionary times can they really afford to forgo the revenue? Unless of course the labels are paying handsomely for each disconnect.

As for switching; all the ISPs here provide pretty bad service and it won’t be long before the rest follow Eircoms dubious lead.

Google mistakes entire web for malware



and how many people ignored it?

'Bart Simpson' punts Church of Scientology


Who owns the voice?

I thought Fox owned the voices meaning that the actors can't use them unless promoting something for the Simpsons or something sanctioned by Fox

Infant calls cops to dad's dope plantation


Police Search

Police: Did you make an 999 call?

Mr Killer: No.

Police: Ok, have a nice day.

Of course they searched the house.

US doc demands $1.5m for donated organ


First of it's kind in New York State

so... Not the first of it's kind in the US?

Spinning the war on the UK's sex trade



"I'm naturally against the criminalisation of something that no society has ever managed to extinguish". Doesn't that pretty much cover everything that is illegal? You really are quite liberal, or perhaps by something you are referring only to the sex trade?

Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah set for top two spots in Christmas Day charts


Bloody Covers

So do people still write songs anymore and can we take bets on how many songs in the Xmas top 10 are going to be covers?

Hendrix, All Along the Watchtower, best cover ever people should have given up after that.

Microsoft issues emergency patch warning for IE


Bad News Day for Microsoft

I was surprised yesterday when I woke up to hear on the national radio people being told they should stop using IE. This was on Morning Ireland which has the biggest listenership, so I imagine the message got out to people who don't normally hear about security issues. Hopefully it will make them think.

IWF pulls Wikipedia from child porn blacklist

Thumb Down

No improvement.

Reading the statement it's clear the IWF still consider the image a child abuse image. But because it has been around for a while and because it's widely available, it's ok. That makes no sense and is surely a pretty poor determinant of how to deal with potentially legal/illegal material.

Fighter jet crashes in suburban San Diego



told local radio the pilot "might have been intending to crash the plane in a nearby canyon in order to avoid hitting a school"

Yeah right, were these witnesses ringing from the local airforce base?

'Faith-based' investment firm fingers holiday's most sinful games



of God, Christ, Jesus Christ, and Jesus. Wait there's four of them now and what did they do with the holy spirit?

Luke Skywalker's lightsabre goes on sale


Re:Not the Sabre you are looking for...

I was just thinking that. It was on the telly a couple of weeks ago and I'm pretty sure the one Obi gives Luke has a big red, sticky out, awkard looking button on it, unlike the one pictured. This is going to annoy me now, can anyone put my mind at ease

Magazine faces legal action for bowing to legal action


@Austin Chamberlain

This wouldn't be the 'Libel Terrorism Bill' would it? Which funnily enough has nothing to do with terrorism, but hey it's one way to get it passed.

Police vet live music, DJs for 'terror risk'


Going to need a bigger form

for when the National Symphony Orcrestra headline with So Solid Crew.

BBC has newsgasm over Obama's dog


Damn Yank

Socks wasnt his pussy (surprise,surprise) but he also had a dog Buddy.

Calvin Coolidge beats them all two lion cubs, an antelope and a hippo to name but a few, accord to the fount of all wisdom or wikidom is you prefer. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_Presidential_pets


Why is it

that American Presidents are apparently required to have a dog?

Mines the Afghan (so many levels)

French Senate passes bill to disconnect filesharers


Re:three strikes at once?

Download one album and get ten strikes, of course only two of those strikes are any good then rest are just filler

No2ID shakes fist at plod print scanner plan


Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984.

Is that a subtle joke? There's something very familiar about that year.

MEPs vote to recognise flag, anthem, motto

Thumb Down

@Russell Long

This would be the same Lisbon Treaty which requires all 27 countries to ratify it for it to take affect. Unless one country doesn't, in which case it will only take 26 countries and so on. They take out the parts people don't like, get them to vote and then add the parts back in afterwards. What could possibly go wrong?

No mile-high pr0n for Delta passengers


Speaking of airlines

anyone seen the Playmobil ad for Channel 4s Dispatches? Blatant rip-off El Reg should sue!

BOFH: The Mandelboat virus



So true. A long loud stream of explicitives indicates a browser tab has been closed accidently, a quiet little oops means I've dropped the database(again).

Catholic priests cane YouTube over blasphemous vids


Mentally misplaced period

"...a teenager urinating on a Holocaust memorial in Greece after five days of pressure. YouTube duly removed the vid."

After all that build up the memorial probably just got hit by accident.

Meat Loaf gets Q gong


@37 Million

Well we've had Gidget, so would girl IT hack be a Git? An old Git perhaps.

El Reg dresses The IT Crowd


Dress the Dingles

How about sending some clobber down to the farm. I wouldn't mind entering a competition to see Emmerdale being filmed.

Amanda Donohoe rides into Emmerdale

Dead Vulture

El Reg TV Gudie

Two new people in Emmerdale!? I mean come on, what next are you going to start adding TV listings. Why not get rid of BOFH and replace it with summaries of what's happening in Neighbours or Home and Away.

Ballerinas and fish-gutters beat techies in UK immigration race


@Ashley Pomeroy

A job where I help the owners of rubber skirts run up and down sounds interesting. Where can I sign up?

Google launching its own navy?



No doubt the Pirate Bay will be claiming prior arggghrt.

Council clamps down on 'man on the street'

Thumb Down

Womens views

are not invisible, we just don't pay any attention to them, until they are vocalised repeatedly or until we are presented with a threat to withold certain benefits. At which point we are all ears.

Thumbs down or under the thumb you tell me.

Cops cuff anti-drug ninja vigilantes


@Stuart Harrison

Your not alone. I put so much money into that game, it puts supporting a drug habit to shame. Time to fire up xmame.

'Why not try nude female midgets?' says Microsoft Adcenter

Dead Vulture

Duck Porn

Having seen a documentry on the mating habits of ducks, which includes multiple males hoping on one female and occasionally drowning her. I can only imgaine the extreme nature of their porn. best not to go there.