Posts by Ken Y-N

Tokyo to TXT warning of incoming Norks nukes

Given that Japan has had smileys for so long, there will be no need for text speak; I predict it will be either:

INCOMING! *frowny face* *mushroom cloud* *pile of poo*

Or the option for Shibes:

So ronery. Much boom. Wow.

Winklevoss twins say their Bitcoins will take them to SPAAAAACE

Pah, near space with BitCoin?

Dogecoin is going to the moon!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDTG6THP330

Your 'funny' cat pics are weighing down the web, so here's a better JPEG encoder from Mozilla

What about a GIF squasher too?

Browsing Google+ (yes, some people do actually use it!) I find rather a lot of animated GIFs that appear to take up a lot of bandwidth, and also have a habit of autoloading. I always feel that said GIFs are actually larger than the video stream they were built from...

MtGox: Yup, we're pretty sure your Bitcoin were stolen. Sorry about that.

That read like a 419 spam!

All he needs to do is mention his modalities and how his parents were killed in a plane crash.

Your's In Christ

KenYN

Microsoft to get in XP users' faces with one last warning

Woo hoo! Phishing opportunities galore!

I expect, indeed I will be disappointed by the lack of foresight by the scammers if it doesn't happen, to see a story on El Reg on the 8th talking about evil redirects and fake popups appearing on XP users' computers mimicking the illustrated message box.

I also expect El Reg to publish a bunch of pics of the message box on ATMs, traffic signs, supermarket tills etc, etc.

Github brews text editor for developers

Umm, what?

I'm feeling all a bit Paris Hilton-y here trying to work out what on earth the editor is supposed to be giving me. As hinted above, perhaps it is like Emacs with Javascript instead of Lisp, but that doesn't really help me either. I think I'll stick with Notepad.

Fukushima radioactivity a complete non-issue on West Coast: Also for Fukushima locals, in fact

Re: Fukushima radiation undetectable?

That's water levels on site, as would have been obvious if you hadn't used "..." to omit that information, and of course, who would be drinking on-site water anyway? Japan's standards for drinking water is 10 becquerels per litre of cesium, lower than most of the rest of the world.

Woman claims she was assaulted in Google Glass 'HATE CRIME'

Pussy, please

Presumably Mrs Slocombe was upset because the person ran off with Glass video of her stroking her pussy.

MtGox boss vows to keep going despite $429m Bitcoin 'theft'

"not lost yet, just temporarily unavailable"

"He's not dead, he's just pining for the fjords"

China in the grip of a 'NUCLEAR WINTER': Smog threat to crops

Re: They advantage of an autocratic country

The rest of the world includes South Korea and Japan, both of which are downwind of China, and indeed here in Osaka, Japan today we got our first-ever PM2.5 warning to avoid going out without a mask.

Here's a PM2.5 site - as you can probably guess, red and black markers are not good!

http://pm25.jp/

Google warns Glass wearers: Quit being 'CREEPY GLASSHOLES'

Here in Japan, shutter sounds are mandatory

As is the recording light, the main reason being to prevent upskirt photos and other pervie behaviour.

Funnily enough, a recent survey found that at least one in five smartphone photographers here use silent cameras apps.

http://whatjapanthinks.com/2013/11/25/worryingly-significant-number-of-japanese-use-silent-camera-apps/

Google slurps sound-powered security upstart SlickLogin

Without watching the video...

...I would bet that when you get to the PC login screen it sends an SMS/IM to your registered phone, which picks this up and switches on your microphone - it's not going to be constantly listening.

Furthermore, it would make sense to also have a configuration option whereby you could also require your phone to be unlocked before the app activates.

Japanese fanboi first in queue for, er, iPhone 6

I'll have a go at translation

"I'm the world's fastest queuer for the iPhone 6, and I've got email in English from Brazilian and UK news sites. Wish me luck as I have to reply..."

It's all a bit slangy, so no wonder Google Translate falls down.

And can I suggest an NSFW tag on his Twitter feed as he is now showing his chocolate willy there.

Baby's got the bends: LG's D958 G Flex Android smartie

Re: "strange text on the back"

Olleh would appear to be KT's (Korea Telecom?) brand:

http://www.ktexpatblog.com/

Fujitsu launches lappie for oldies

Here's the specs

In Japanese, but relatively easy to understand:

http://www.fmworld.net/fmv/ah_g/1402/spec/

8 GB RAM seems generous, and 4 USB 3.0 ports, 1920x1080 15.6 inch screen, and 10.5 hour battery life.

Keyboard is 18.4mm keypitch and 3.0mm keystroke (travel?)

According to their own web store, with a 10% discount coupon it is a pension-abusing 197,820 yen, or just a tad under 1,200 quid.

Cryptocurrencies now being pooped out by cartoon cat

Next up is BadgerBadgerBadgerCoin?

Using this site http://coingen.bluematt.me/ I'm going to get in on the retro-meme/coin action with AllYourCoinAreBelongToUs

Mountain bike mishap man suffers SEVEN WEEK stiffie

So, he had a stiffie for five weeks before going to the docs?

It reminds me of an old joke:

A woman walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, "My husband's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken." The quack says, "Why don't you bring him in to see me?" "I would but I need the eggs."

Google gobbles Wi-Fi thermostat maker Nest for $3.2 BEEELLION IN CASH

In Japan...

Almost all the major air conditioner brands do in fact now have infra-red sensors in them to detect when people look hot or cold. And Sharp's Cocorobo (Roomba-alike) speaks to you and will on command trundle over to the air conditioner to switch it on and off.

"Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to turn down the aircon. Call that job satisfaction?"

Big goolies-grabbing black snake nips unlucky bloke's trouser snake

In first with the Paris Hilton angle

Suck the poison out and whatnot.

OMG, Andrex killed the puppey! Not quilty, exclaim bog roll boys

That reminds me...

A FaecesBook puppy-fancier commented "I've not used it before but the thought of wiping up with paper covered in butter is a bit off-putting, yet intriguing."

The recollection of stories and rumours from my youth about "butter dogs" (I don't recommend Googling it) popped up on reading that...

Japanese mobes to stop punters TXTing themselves under a bus

Re: or press and hold the power button to get five vital extra seconds.

Maybe it's like the stupid IRC trick of telling the newbie to hold the ALT key then press F4 to activate the sekrit menu?

On the matter of shooting down Amazon delivery drones with shotguns

Being a bunch of geeks here...

Shouldn't we be talking about overriding the GPS signal to guide it safely to our own destination? If the Iranians can do it with a military drone, it shouldn't be much problem to knock up a Raspberry Pi-based solution?

Amazon floats 'Prime Air' drone delivery plan

If it flies over the rougher areas of town...

This seems like a great variation on the crane game - shoot one down, win a mystery prize if it doesn't shatter into millions of pieces on hitting the tarmac.

Black helicopters as I reckon they'll need the armed escorts.

Confessions of a porn site boss: How I got it up on the 'net

A leading Japanese online pr0n distributor is called...

...Soft On Demand.

But, Japanese pr0n sites seem stuck in the West's 1990's heydays. Thumbnails (usually DVD covers linking back to said SOD web site), affiliate banners, personal site interlinking, pop-ups, pop-unders, top site rankings, etc, etc, and if you finally manage to find a link to a .torrent that actually works, you end up with a yet another pixellated-fannied schoolgirl who squeaks like a dog chew toy while getting poked by an anonymous pixellated knob.

So a friend tells me anyway.

Sony patents LASER-FIRING Wi-Fi SMARTWIG with sideburn buttons

Does it come in shark size?

Fortunately, I don't think their fins can reach their sideburns to fire the frickin' laser beams,

TOXIC DOLPHIN SANDWICH on the menu, say hacktivists

The numbers don't add up

> It claims officials in Taiji have bribed central government to allow this export trade, which it says pulls in annual sales of over $850m

If we take a high-end wholesale price for tuna of around US$30 per kilo, that would make 28,300 tonnes of dolphin a year. A dolphin can weigh about 500 kg, and assuming it gets sold bones and all, that makes 56,600 dolphins-worth. Taiji catches up to 2,400 dolphins per year, perhaps 13% (probably more) of the nationwide catch, or about 18,500 dolphins. So either they are getting US$100 or more per kilo for tinned dolphuna, or they are Making Shit Up.

Confusing dollars and yen could be possible, of course, to give a figure of $8.5 million, but the only export I would expect would be as a mystery meat in pet food.

Brit boffin brews INSTANT HANGOVER RELIEF

Hmm, I cannot really see what market he is trying to tap here, as getting drunk without beer sounds worse that getting a hangover from low-alcohol beers (yes, I do get them!) without having the buzz.

The only two places it might be of use would be in-patient alcoholics and perhaps to keep astronauts happy up in the space station.

On the other hand, if you get the beer goggles effect without the trouser issues, I can see a use if one's partner is a minger...

Google's MYSTERY barges floating off US shores: The TRUTH

My current wild speculation is:

This fits in with the latest "revelation", and would match the size of these barges and suits the Google image:

A massive Google Glass-enhanced laser tag site.

Throw in some haptic feedback kit from their black projects division, and you could be a good way along to realising the Star Trek Holodeck.

Baldness fix from foreskin follicles

Let me get this straight...

...they circumcised new-born human babies, grafted the foreskin onto a mouse, then plan to transfer the resultant hair back to an adult head?

I'd rather continue balding, thank you very much.

Rorschach test suggested as CAPTCHA replacement

Can we combine it with yesterday's ketchup CAPTHCA?

Use blotches of tomato and brown sauce instead.

Loathed wiggly-word CAPTCHAs morph into 'fun' click-'n'-drag games

Ugg, grocer's apostrophe in that sample

Move the sweet chilli's *WHAT?* to the ketchup.

Former Microsoftie in AUTOMATIC BEER MAKER funding plea

Only brews beer up to 3.7% ABV

Because 6.40 degrees proof ought to be enough for anybody.

500 MEELLION PCs still run Windows XP. How did we get here?

Just last week I upgraded

My grotty old netbook was slowly deteriorating with mysterious pauses while various background processes (usually Windows Update check and other MS stuff) whirred away, so I went for CrunchBang Linux, a Debian-based distro with a very minimal UI. Surprisingly almost everything worked, and I've found replacements for all my usual tools - hacking up a GEdit macro or two has actually made my most common task much more efficient - and it's now chugging along faster than my XP+corporate crapware-filled high-end laptop. I suspect upgrading that to Windows 7 will be more painful than my shift to Linux.

Corel re-animates zombie brand for patent case

Sounds like OLE clipboard from 1990

Back in the Windows 3 days you could cut and paste OLE-aware objects, which were shapes that had their rendering performed by external apps.

One would hope that the examiner brought this up, so it would be useful to check the file wrapper before jumping to conclusions.

South Carolina couple cop cuffing for shed shag

Were they auditioning for the film version of Fifty Sheds of Grey?

Mine's the one covered in sawdust.

Only 1 in 5 Americans believe in pure evolution – and that's an upswing

Perhaps given the wording...

"Human beings evolved from less advanced life forms over millions of years, and God did not directly guide this process"

I couldn't answer that with a Yes as there is no god that could choose not to guide the process.

Boffins want toilets to become POWER PLANTS

Hemodrrhoid v4.2, codename Jacksie Cream

I hear the bugs in it are a pain the arse, though.

ULTRASONIC BOLLOCK BLASTERS help Hawkmoth battle The Bat

...whilst I have kept bats in my bollocks

And moths have been the least of my worries.

Jiggy Pennsylvania couple busted by 25 bike cops

...and they'll have her up before the Bench

I was leaving anyway!

HP StoreOnce has undocumented backdoor

SANS reverse hash calculator

Here:

https://isc.sans.edu/tools/reversehash.html

18 of the last 20 hashes solved at the time of writing are of the hash in question...

Hey Google, Facebook has a 'Reader' that might actually make money

Feedly no longer needs an extension!

> the Chrome extension changes made (without asking) in March that keep Feedly active even when the browser is closed

Two weeks ago or so they went to an all-native implementation at cloud.feedly.com, so you can, as I have, delete the Chrome extension.

There's still a couple of bugs regarding messages not staying read, but on the whole I'm most satisfied, but if only they'd do SSL...

New material enables 1,000-meter super-skyscrapers

What about Tokyo Skytree?

You say "There are currently only three elevator-equipped structures in the world that top 500 meters"

The Tokyo Skytree is over 500 metres tall (634 metres to be exact) and the lifts take you up to the 350 metre high main deck in a 464.4 metre run, according to Toshiba Elevator's web site. It only takes you 50 seconds to get there, so they do run at a fair, err, nip.

Google Chromebooks now in over 6,600 stores

Acer C7 losing the hard disk

Perhaps too many people were installing Linux on it? My current netbook is on its last legs, so such Chromebook pricing looks good.

Magpie Apple plunders the competition for cosmetics, as egos run wild

Camera versus Photos icons

Did they run out of time to tart up the camera icon? You have an old black and white camera (on a gradient background), which takes pictures that you view though some sort of stark psychedelic flower petal thing.

I'm no graphics designer, but there's a lack of unity on that home screen. Abstract art mixed with ye olde cliched camera and mic. And why does the Weather icon only have its gradient from dark to light unlike all the other ones?

Garden fertilised by Twitter output wins Gold at Chelsea

What it really should have is a great big Twitter bird with a muck-spreader attachment below responding to the frequency of tweets, so the garden really is fertilized by Twitter.

As a bonus, I'm sure they'd also be in the running for the Biggest Marrow competition after a couple of days.

Feds stamp on cash pipeline to Mt Gox, Bitcoin's Wall Street

I think we need a Godwin's Law for BitCoin

"As an online discussion on BitCoin grows longer, the probability of mentioning "fiat currency" approaches 1"

Google pools cloud storage

Re: There's always one! ;-)

I was expecting pr0n! :-(

Google+ Photos used to be Picasa

I use the Picasa desktop app as a backup tool for my photos - anything less than about 1600 x 1200 gets stored for "free". My backups are now privately accessible through my G+ account.

ZX Spectrum cassette player lost? There's an app for that

What I really want it to do...

Do an OCR of a magazine listing, compile it up, then do the tape emulator bit.