Posts by kraftdinner

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Open Farce

Big Bill promoting his OpenFarce software....

Big Bill

In the spirit of "Big" - Big Bill. It works on many levels. In fact, I just got a big bill from Big Bill last week. Man they can bury their fees...

Astroboffin gets magnets stuck up his schnozz trying and failing to invent anti-face-touching coronavirus gizmo

Ach-oooo

Thank god he didn't sneeze - he'd blow an O-ring for sure...

Airbus A350 software bug forces airlines to turn planes off and on every 149 hours

Built by M$

Now that's a 3 finger salute!

'It's full of beer!' Miracle fridge reveals itself to pals tuckered out from cleaning flooded cabin

I'd rather swill the swamp water they were waling through...

Linux kernel's Torvalds: 'I am truly sorry' for my 'unprofessional' rants, I need a break to get help

Programming

I truly believe programming makes you mad.

No, eight characters, some capital letters and numbers is not a good password policy

Why do we keep having this conversation? It's crazy obvious people hate remembering passwords. Something needs to change and it's the IT community that needs to promote that change.

Microsoft commits: We're buying GitHub for $7.5 beeeeeeellion

They must be running low on good programmers...

Twitter to upgrade from micro-blogging to milli-blogging with 280 chars

I like Twitter and Donald Trump. Obama tweets and everyone is fine - such hipocracy. Hey lefties - if you hate the Donald so much just vote him out in the next election, that's how democracy works. In the meantime shut the f(*&k up. Good on ya' Twitter for mixing it up a bit. Not exactly living in interesting times though....

Google and its terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week in full

Time for a fart joke...

Berners-Lee and the open-data bunch: £60k for your best collab dataset register ideas

Humans don't "collab" well....

John McAfee plans to destroy Google. Details? Ummm...

Nuts or Not...

Nuts or not it's nice to see somebody talking about reigning in Google. Brave browser is another effort, we need more people thinking along these lines...

Will AI lead to the rise of the love machines?

The thought of stuffing my tackle into a machine is a bit chilly. Especially if it malfunctions. Brings a whole new meaning to BSOD....

Silicon Valley tech bro's solution for homeless: Getting himself in the news. Again.

It's a problem that can't be solved

Homelessness has been part of our society for centuries. Get over it and just manage it. I actually think Mr. Gopman is bi-polar....he'll be joining his peeps on the streets shortly.

'Hey, Homeland Security. Don't you dare demand Twitter, Facebook passwords at the border'

Who cares

Facebook, Twitter, Google etc. own all your shit anyway, what's the big deal. You really think being a privacy ghoul makes you more special? (or secure). Funny ducks you are...

Hyperloop sueball noose-man launches tube-travel rival

So sad

Tech has fallen off a cliff....

Russian hackers got Trump elected? Yeah, let's take a close look at that, says Obama

Cold war finally over?

Well, isn't this a good thing? America and Russia finally getting along....

Funny story, this. UK.gov's 'open banking app revolution'. Security experts not a fan of it

Oh, those security experts

Hmm, and how have our "security experts" been doing so far?

Elasticsearch cluster in a jiffy: Step by step

Man, who does the actual work? Developers or Operations? These divisions of labour are giving me a headache.

Grooveshark closes, blames 'serious mistake' of not paying for music

Paying who? Surely not the artists themselves but the greedy bastards in the middle.

Smart meters are a ‘costly mistake’ that'll add BILLIONS to bills

Look at Canada

Been there done that in Ontario and got the electric burn marks to prove it. DON'T DO IT!! Bills went through the roof. Don't believe the ROI crap they tell you....

Suffering from IPO interruptus? Perhaps your Box is full of the same soap as the others

Let's not forget that 'ol Rockyfeller made a secret deal with the railways to cut his transportation costs in half thus shutting out his competition. If only economists could account for human greed behavior...there should be a greed-index built into our elasticity charts.

Are you ready for the 40-zettabyte year?

Crazy

I gotta say it...as a 25 year IT vet my solution to big data - delete it. 75% of it is crap anyway.