Posts by Gray Ham

Telstra scrambles to fix voice

Ah, the good old days ...

... as soon as it rains, the internet stops working and half the traffic lights in Canberra go on the blink ...

'Liberator' 3D printed gun enters London's V&A Museum

Re: The blade itself incites to deeds of violence...Homer.

That would be "nemeses"

Always assuming any one person can have more than one nemesis ...

Intel shows off wine-powered processor and biometric boffinry

Re: If the device works...

"If the device works... the wine is undrinkable"

Well, of course ... you don't think an Australian would be so uncivilised as to use the Grange Hermitage for this sort of thing, now do you? It's probably some cheap French plonk (aka battery acid).

Jail time promised for false tweets in China

What an excellent idea

And, as a member of the dole-bludging public servant classes, I can think of one name to be first in the dock ...

South Carolina couple cop cuffing for shed shag

Re: Not exactly flashing

@Frank ly

Indeed yes. I remember a couple of years ago a Bahraini (?) couple got arrested for having sex in their car ... but they were acquitted because the car had tinted windows, therefore they weren't in public.

Though, it is a bit ironic when US law trumps islamic law for prudery.

Telstra, Moto in lead for $AU450m-plus wireless contract

Re: Saving millions

Or maybe the government cutbacks have gone further than expected. $450 would at least get a couple of phones, that'd be a communication network.

Finally it happens: MAN BITES DOG - after stabbing himself

For once, we beat the yanks to it ....

http://www.smh.com.au/environment/animals/man-bites-dog-no-seriously-20121202-2aoxm.html

Australian coalition promises digital pigeonhole for all

Quite a long document ... but very short on details (and costings). Presumably all will be revealed on Thursday, but in the meantime "All changes to Government ICT and National Digital Economy Strategy programs will be met within the existing funding provided across the forward estimates" is vague enough for them to do anything or nothing.

I am, nonetheless, curious how they will implement some of these intiatives (which will require consiberable investment in IT) while simultaneously reducing the deficit, cutting taxes, implementing paid maternity leave, and of course stopping the boats.

Qld Health starts briefing industry on IT refresh

Re: Here's a start . . .

And ...

*Step 7* Conduct a review of the project (or, learn from your mistakes).

The Government's finger-pointing at IBM would suggest otherwise, though. And, holding the briefing on Friday 13 is maybe not auspicious.

iPad classes for DOGS offered in New York

Cats on the other hand ...

Cats, of course, are evil and therefore use Windows phones.

ASIO seeks new hires for telecoms interception teams

Re: Why are the cyber-spies all in Canberra?

@Dafyd

The reason? Well ...

- spies actually have pretty boring jobs, so they have to demonstrate they can cope with boredom. Living in Canberra is the perfect preparation, and ;

- the weather here is so terrible (especially in August) that people would rather be at work with the heating on than slipping off to the beach;

Other possibilities

I can think of a few other possibilities for them advertising now ...

1. Maybe it's proving quite hard to attract and retain staff - note the mobile application developer, which I think El Reg flagged a few weeks back, is still there;

2. Staff retention has also been in the news recently - see http://www.canberratimes.com.au/act-news/greens-make-case-for-sacked-asio-spy-20130821-2sbw6.html;

3. The new office is nearly ready for occupation, so they will actually have desks for these new people;

4. And, of course, note the closing date for applications - maybe they want these positions settled before any fallout resulting from the new government.

Just saying ...

Corruption cops warn on old-school project management

There's corruption in NSW government procurement? Didn't William Bligh fix it years ago?

Oh, wait ...

Chinese firm applies for 'Edward Snowden' trademark

Re: The Edward Snowden Car

Whereas the Julian Assange car parks itself and refuses to move?

Assange washes hands in election row

Affirmative action

In a way, it's a pity they aren't running in South Australia ... would be interesting to see them apply the "affirmative action" logic, forcing them to preference Peny Wong.

Nude swimmers warned of GONAD-GOBBLING FISH ON THE LOOSE

Re: If he's an expert...

Er, no ....

Testis, plural = testes

Testicle, plural = testicles.

Not that you'd worry about these niceties if you're having your balls chewed off by a piranha.

Australian government websites in "compulsory mod" mode during election campaign

In three words ...

Stop the Quotes!

Climate change even worse than you thought: It causes war and murder

Some conflicts may be the reuslt of changes to the climate, however it's not the only cause. In particular, a lot of 19th and 20th century conflict could be linked to expanding populations, competition for resources, and more effective armies as a result of industrialisation. Even, sometimes, "because we can" would be sufficient motivation - Alexander the Great, for example?

Study finds open-source home 3D printer could save $2,000 a year

It's unlikely that they have accounted for all the production costs in this study. In particular, making the assumption that designs for things that people will actually need will remain free is at best tenuous.

Cyber jihad as Indonesia and Bangladesh hack each other off the web

Re: Ahh

Trouble is, most of what they are hacking are simply small businesses trying to make a living.

Couldn't we suggest to the Bangladeshis to start hacking somewhere useful ... say, Jamaah Ansharut Tauhid. I heard they were a real bunch of Israel supporters (honest! would I lie?) and deserve hacking.

German guardsmen growing mono-boobs from drilling with Nazi-era rifles

A question ...

The Tits-n-guns desk sounds fun (assuming, that is, you are not interested only in manboobs). How does one get a job there?

Disney finds new way to give movies depth

Re: Depth

@Tom 35

Are you one of these old fogeys who believe a movie should have a coherent plot and believeable characterisation? Come now, it's in 3D, what more could you want?

Big Blue beats path to Australia's north-west

Geraldton's not remote

It's a reasonable-sized regional city, and only 400 km from Perth. That doesn't count as remote.

Mozilla ponders blinkers for your browser

God bless his little Royal Highness!

Personally, I welcome any news about the birth of George Alexander Louis. One can never have enough royal news, especially in this neck of the woods. If nothing else, it sustains the economy through the sales of women's magazines.

Royston cops' ANPR 'ring of steel' BREAKS LAW, snarls watchdog

Re: And in Brum

@moiety

It is apocryphal ... the story was circulated by email, in various versions happening either in Canberra or in Dunedin (NZ). Aside from anything else, the speed vans in Canberra tend to move around fairly regularly, so it would be difficult to pull this kind of stunt.

Village-swallowing MUDCANO was no accident, say boffins

Just a note: "Lusi" isn't the place name - it's one of these lovely Indonesian acronyms, meaning "Sidoarjo mud [flow]".

US Marine Corps misses target, finds and bombs Nemo

New procedure.

Aborting a mission in case you bomb civilians ... this is a new procedure, right?

Beijing fanboi in coma after iPhone 4 shock treatment

Re: Electrocuted?

The definition has probably changed over the years - the Oxford dictionary defines electrocute as "to injure or kill" by electric shock.

Apple flushes poker apps after prod from Australia

Re: haha...

"They are about protecting the vast and massive vested interests that control gambling in OZ and the US (and the tax and party donation stream they generate!"

I don't see how preventing anyone from operating an online gambling site in Australia, thus driving all this business offshore, would in any way "protect" these vested interests. I am inclined to agree with the article that it was a knee-jerk reaction.

Daddy-o, you're all wet... baffled by your own kids on the web - survey

Re: NSFW

Take pity on us (non-Sydney resident) Australians, who think it means New South !@#%ing Wales

Ashes latest: Don't show Ozzies THIS perfect spin bowl science ... too late

Re: The Real Spin Doctors

John,

Indeed some interesting work.

However, may I point out that mentioning bas... er, that American game ... in an Ashes thread is a sacrilegious offence. Normal penalty would be to present yourself in Manchester on 1 August for 5 days of intensive re-education. However, since you appear to be one of our US cousins, your plea of ignorance is accepted and, in view of previous good behaviour, etc, etc, the court rules that you be bound over to put some beer on ice and watch it on TV.

Snowden's Australian 'revelations' are old news

It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees ...

Top marks for mentioning The Oils. Only a pity the passion didn't survive the realities of power.

Singaporean 'net rules rile giants

I doubt the government will notice ...

Since most regional countries are more-or-less equally bad at media censorship, it is unlikely that Singapore risks losing its reputation as a good place to do business - it has the infrastructure and a reputation of being non-corrupt (however justified that may be).

The Government probably feels it can safely ignore any protests about these rules.

Samsung Galaxy S3 explodes, turns young woman into 'burnt pig'

Around here (Aus), Myfanwy is usually shortened to "Myfy" or "Miffy" - to avoid the snigger value of shortening it to "Fanny".

Personally, I'm happy that this beautiful name seems to be having a slight resurgence here - I know several Myfanwys, all in their late teens/early 20s.

ULTRASONIC BOLLOCK BLASTERS help Hawkmoth battle The Bat

Known this for years ...

It works! I use moth balls in my wardrobe, and I have *never* had any bats in there.

Thanks, Lewis, this cheered me up no end, just in time for the weekend!

FRBs and variable forces: a big week for astronomy

Re: sounds right to me

Damn ... you beat me to it.

Though I was going to mention the subtly different laws of physics that apply in the Roundhouse, especially after a few beers.

IT bloke inadvertently broadcasts smut on vast public screen

Since this was in Jilin, we have to know ... was the big screen visible to the NORKS?

Innovative solution to modern art found: Shoot it into space

Credit to the artist though, for finding a way to sell a lump of rock, presumably for a fair amount of cash.

Apple adds Yves Saint Laurent CEO to executive team

iSuit?

The iSuit will of course be turned on and off by kicking yourself in the groin ...

'The Apprentice' is a load of old codswallop, says biz prof

Re: This ain't academia.

Not just corporations and smaller businesses - it would be pretty similar in many academic departments. There are some pretty atrocious government departments around this city too.

Incidentally, I know that Warwick and Keele (my alma mater) are universities ... but Staffordshire? Is that the old North Staffs Poly?

What's the difference between GEEKS and NERDS?

Re: Some equally scientific research ...

This all sounds very hard. Besides, I can't remember where I put the matches.

Instead, I think I'll just create a new discipline - nerdolinguistics - where I can write whatever balderdash I choose and shout loudly at anyone who disagrees with me

Some equally scientific research ...

.... that I conducted on the bus home the other day, among some Marist College year 10 students (they were chatting with the young lady sitting next to me) reveals that nerds are now cool. If Marist lads think it is so, then it must be so.

Throwing arms let humans rise above poo-flinging apes to play cricket

Re: Nah...

Many years ago, my father christened our neighbour's corgi "Larwood" .... because he had 4 short legs and his balls could swing either way.

Sure, Glenn was a gret fast bowler ... but will his name still resonate 80 years on?

Ferocious fungus imperils future of British gin and tonic

Not quite ...

It's a secret non-volcanic lair somewhere off the coast of New Zealand where we mainain huge stocks of disease-free elm, ash and now juniper.

Yes, it's a hideous plot to conquer the market (and win back the Ashes in the process).

But, now you have discovered the secret, I'm afraid you must be eliminated ...

El Reg casts a weather eye over Bureau of Met's new baby

Can't access the beta

I can't seem to access the beta through the link - it's giving a "page not found".

However, from the screen shots, it doesn't look like any improvement over the current site - that is quite quick to find the local forecast/rain radar, etc. I don't use BOM on my mobile though (I rely on other cues - e.g, if there are water droplets on the screen, it's probably raining; if I the screen doesn't respond, it's so cold my fingers have frozen, etc.).

Also, I notice it's raining all week in Sydney ... maybe you should venture west of The Crossroads sometime, Simon ... the weather here is fine (if a degree or two cooler).

Reg to Australia: Here's your chance to find NBN answers

Re: What's your planned outcome ?

Any form of informed debate on *any* Australian political issue will be welcome. Most of what passes for debate here is simply politicians slinging slogans around. If this one works, maybe Simon can turn his attention to the refugee "debate", the republican "debate", etc, etc..

Oh, and if we're up for a bit of interpretative dance, I'm happy to meet in the National Rose Garden at OPH. :)

'Smart ring' revealed by upstart Chinese mobe-maker

"There’s no hard info on exactly how it works"

Of course not ... elves don't reveal their ring-making secrets.

Australian unis to test quantum-comms-over-fibre

Re: Hmmm....

A third party, somewhere between Campbell and Acton, intercepting communications ... now, who would do a thing like that? Maybe that's another reason they chose those locations ...

Internet fraud still stings suckers

More Gullible?

The median dollar loss per case in the US was reported as US$600, in Aus in the range $A100-$A499. How does that make Australians more gullible? Not much difference as far as I can see.

ACMA mulls cloud regulation

Re: Nice try, ACMA

I suspect one of the goals of the discussion paper is to demonstrate ACMA's continuing relevance (and hence continued level of funding after September). Brace yourself for a lot more over the next couple of months.