Posts by oxo

Yahoo! to! reject! Microsoft! offer!

I'm obviously a bit dim..

.. but why didn't M$ buy all the shares it could at $19.20 instead of offering $31..

Paris 'cos she hasn't got a clue either.

Billg quits Facebook

@Dam

" ... the *really* (re)productive people in this world browse porn."

Sorry to break this to you, but w*nk*ng isn't reproduction.

Tiny, take-apart handset enters the record books

Hmmm

I put it to you that this isn't a real phone. Those pictures are photoshop specials.

Rocket train smashes world land-speed record

They cheated

Mach number is a measure of speed related to the speed of sound.

As this test was conducted in Helium, the speed of sound is higher and thus Mach 1 = 972 m/s compared with 331 m/s for air (both at 0 deg C)

So, was the actual speed Mach 9 Helium (31432 km/h) or Mach 9 Air (10724 km/h)? Given that they think it was only "probably" not a good idea to run a rocket sled through a hydrogen tunnel I think we know the answer...

Garmin takes on iPhone with satnav mobile

Mmmm :)

Now if it's got wifi too, then I want one !

US boffins tune into carbon nanotube radio

Not electronics at all

I think you'll find that the "nanotube output transistor" is still waiting to be invented.

Apple's iPhone numbers do not add up

What about Apple's own stores?

Presumably they aren't included in the AT&T figures ..

Heathrow PC security probe launched

sensationalist headlines?

So a PC in an internet cafe wasn't secure.

Tell me you'd have run the story if it wasn't Heathrow..

Former DEA agents sue over American Gangster

And lets not start on...

.. Braveheart..

Fluorescent sow drops glow-in-the-dark piglets

@nickj

".. perhaps I'm related .."

Either that or you benn having sex with scyphozoans

NY corpse attempts to cash welfare cheque

Re: Lucky they weren't in the UK

He was lucky to *only* get arrested. At least they didn't chase him onto a tube train then stand on him and blow his brains out.

Time to find another country to live methinks...

Nato secrets USB stick lost in Swedish library

Eh?

"military-grade AES hardware-based encryption"

As opposed to the other sort? No, wait, AES is a standard, so it's the same everywhere.

Sperm-derived power system for nanobots patented

I'm going to be out of pocket :(

Presumably this means every time my little chaps go on their merry egg fertilisation hunt, I'll have to pay a license fee to Cornell Uni?

Tumbleweeds outnumber punters, as iPhone's First Night flops

Punters left out

Over here we are a accustmed to being with a network, and getting upgrades when the contract runs out.

This isn't happening with the iFone, thanks to the O2 numpties believing the Apple hype and agreeing to their stupid marketing plan.

Dwarfs threaten Kepler and Newton

Hmmm.

So if the angular velocity is *the same*, then how come they are spiral shaped?

Demon satnav imprisons plucky trucky in pasty hell

For Lewis Page Fanboys...

http://lewispage.blogspot.com/

Alan Coren Lives on!

At least Mr Page seems to have been taken over by his spirit.

Absolutely brilliant writing mate !

Brussels arms bod: Don't buy Yankee deathware

Ditch the US entirely

They can't be trusted at all, and will leave our forces in the shit when it suits them.

What about the RAF Chinooks which can't be used because of a software problem?

Dead dog floors 68 Namibian villagers

Poor jokes guys..

It's obvious.. they were all as sick as a dog.

Schoolkid chipping trial 'a success'

Easy to kill it stone dead

Just let the looney wifi haters know that their kids will have to be scanned by radio radiation to read these chips...

Mars rovers can keep on rovin'

Not Linux !!!

I think they are using Wind River's VXWorks as the RTOS

Mobiles give you brain cancer?

Eh.. 98% of a MW?

"Modern transmitters can be incredibly efficient, with efficiencies exceeding 98 per cent. However, a broadcast transmitter with a megawatt power stage transferring 98 per cent of that into the antenna can also be viewed as a 20 kilowatt electric heater."

98% of a megawatt is 980 kw where I come from. 20kW is the heat lost in the amplifier, not radiated.

Japanese to patent transparent frog

Well done Mr Page

Brilliant, just brilliant.

Your talents are wasted here. Have you thought of doing stand-up?

Strap-on stealth jetplane for special forces

It's been done already..

By this daring swiss chap

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO4ruO8pnEY&mode=related&search=

Cops seek 179mph net vid biker

Metric system invented by...

...

yes, us Brits !

From the Wiki:-

"The metric system, and metre was first fully described by Englishman John Wilkins in 1668 in a treatise presented to the Royal Society some 120 years before the French adopted the system"

Nicole Richie does 82 minutes hard time

Who?

presumably this person is another unknown american airhead soap/porn/musicstar. Who gives a f***?

Hotmail hack punts person in peril scam

Suspicious..

How do you see the originating ip address of an email in your hotmail account?

Is Chernobyl behind academic slump in Sweden?

... migration

Someone said "What's most likely is that intelligent people, including the best teachers, who could get work elsewhere legged it when the rain started glowing in the dark. This selective migration would lower the average intelligence and teacher quality having a compound effect on academic outcomes."

I think you'll find that teachers moving away has a benificial effect on average intelligence... :P

Drunken German joyrider totals 300 chickens

Only a fine..

And it'll be a poultry sum I bet.

Doctor Who signs up thinking man's crumpet

So wrong El reg

Joan Bakewell is the "thinking man's crumpet", and cannot be redefined by some jonny-come-lately iJournos :(

Orange dismantles Bristol Tower of Doom

Future not too bright

So on the heels of yesterdays story of the Orange MarketingTwatDepartment associating their company with smoking, now they do this brainless thing.

Obviously not a cool outfit to be associated with.

iPhone's keyboard prompts patent violation suit

Well Duuh

More trolls.. Apple won't have to look far..the Newton had a touch-screen keyboard 12 years ago <rolls eyes>

Cat senses impending death

Reincarnation

So Harold Shipman came back as a cat.. interesting

Google ponies up $4.6bn for wireless spectrum

Yeah, well..

This is a USA only system, as the FCC only has jurisdiction there. To talk of world-wide access is simply more marketing speak.

When 'God Machines' go back to their maker

What a tosser..

"Analysts have been warning Apple for years that the iPod risked going the way of the starting handle after the invention of automatic ignition."

So when exactly was "Automatic Ignition" invented? I can't say I've ever heard of it..

Romanian cops cuff drunk, naked, handless driver

At least he wasn't using his mobile...

.. or did he have a hands-free kit installed?

NASA snaps mysterious night-shining clouds

Well duuH

So the flood plains are getting flooded are they?

Well consider how they became flood plains, and then figure out if this occurred in the last century, or the last millenia.

Global warming - well yes of course. It's a natural phenomenon.

Caused by us? I don't think so..

Something wrong here

The date on that picture is 11 June, and it is the north pole. So how come it is dark? Has the earth tipped over on it's axis while we were looking the other way?